Seventh Slip Backwards
by Esparia
Summary: If you are the only one remembering a time, did it actually happen? Why yes it did. It just so happens that time looping or traveling (or whatever mess Naruto got himself in) happens seven times over. Who else but the world's most unpredictable ninja would time travel?
1. Prologue

**-whispering in the background-**

**Naruto: Do you think the author knows what to do?**

**Esparia: *editing bad spelling***

**Kakashi: I'm sure Esparia has had some experience.**

**Naruto: …I'm the main character in this right?**

**Sasuke: *reading script* So it appears.**

**Naruto: And the designated author will be controlling our actions in the foreseeable future, right?**

**Kakashi: Esparia is the writer, I've heard authors wield massive power in imaginary worlds and influence in the real world. So yes.**

**Esparia: *shuffling through files***

**Naruto: So you're saying that writer, *points to Esparia***

**Esparia: *breaks the disclaimer***

**Naruto: -holds an extraordinary amount of power and is going to be in charge of our imaginary lives.**

**Kakashi: *copyrighted-single-eyed-lazy-you-can-think-what-you-want-smile***

**Sasuke: *narrows eyes at Esparia***

**Esparia: *duct taping the disclaimer together***

**Naruto: Am I the only one worried about this?**

**Random Crew Member: *sets up mics* Don't worry Uzumaki-san, Esparia doesn't abuse the Writer's Power…often. I mean there was that one time when the fourth wall broke...**

**Sasuke: *pales* I suggest we take this time for a strategic retreat.**

**Naruto: Why? What-**

**Director: QUIET ON THE SET! PLACES! ACTION!**

**Esparia: Hello Readers of the internet! Whether you're a guest or a user makes no difference to me, so you are all welcome to comment/review or whatever on that handy little review button below. This will be my first Naruto full length story. I can't guarantee that this story will end, being my death is an unpredictable thing as are comas. But know that I'll do my best to complete it. Mind you, I'm a wee bit of a perfectionist when it comes to writing so I'll be taking breaks every so often to fix errors.**

**Disclaimer: Hello! *waves excitedly at readers* My name is Disclaimer. And this is Esparia, the writer. Esparia's name isn't Masashi Kishimoto. That means Esparia doesn't own this fandom's characters in any shape or form. Esparia does own the mind and original ideas behind this fan fiction, so we'd all appreciate it if you didn't claim this story as your own. However, if this story sparks your own story go ahead and use any of the theories and such in here. Hm, oh that's right! Esparia likes dropping random references from other fandoms and doesn't own any of those either. Esparia also owns me, the Director, and the Random Crew Member. Since we were spawned from Esparia's insomnia and imagination.**

**Esparia: In any sense I'll tell you now that the format is going to be a bit odd. As I prefer 3****rd**** person when writing events, but their will be different perspectives of different characters and Naruto's journal events.**

Text Rules

"Talking"

_"Mind Talking"_

'_Thinking'_

_Memories_

Naruto's Journal

Telepathic Communication

Exceptions to rules when emphasis is _needed_

**((When E****sparia**** just ****has**** to comment))**

(side note pertaining to story)

**Warning: Repeated character death, blood, battle field, gore, mental/emotional angst, implied neglect and abuse, flashbacks (what is Naruto without Flashback no Jutsu?). Contains theories about alternate dimensions/alternate timelines and time travel that could mess up your mind (later on). In the future it will include varies techniques I made up, rooted from either chemistry/biology or insanity/boredom/theories. This is AU, how could it not be when we're considering time travel. This story also contains personal beliefs, no offence intended but will probably be taken anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I just know some of you punks ignored me...Esparia owns this story so don't steal this peice of awesomness that we've sweat blood and tears for, it's not ethical. Esparia doesn't own Naruto (manga/anime/nor the fishcakes...shocker, I know), Naruto is made and owned by Kishimoto.**

Prologue

I Don't Want to Live on the Moon

January 5th, Sixth year of the 6th Timeline,

I can't say for sure if this time around will work. I've made a mistake too early on. I have already survived several assassination attempts, but I can never guarantee that I will make it the next time someone comes at me with a giant fireball. I hadn't known up until now that Danzo, may there be rest for his soul, had his claws within the Uchiha clan. I suppose it's not surprising, what with his disturbing obsession with them. But that's off topic, to put it simply, I shall probably die soon. Whether or not I actually succeeded in such a short amount of time will show if I slip backwards again. It's too bad really, that I just wasted six years in this loop with nothing to show for. Should I slip down the spiral of time again, and all this is erased, I hope that my next try will do more good then what I did here. However if I do succeed in saving the world, then I will finally be allowed to rest.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Where does a story end? What makes a story finished? Does a story end when the protagonist dies? But is there not also the things that follow the protagonist's death? If you were to follow the story of a different protagonist, the story will hardly end with the other protagonist's death. They still have a story being told, their story continues, and yet if they were there for the other protagonist's death then does it not also mean that they were hinged onto that protagonist's story; as such that other protagonist's story would continue. Are not all stories, then, connected together to make one larger story? Then perhaps you end a story when the protagonist has finished what their goal was. Perhaps you finish a story when that domino lays flat. And yet, and yet that domino had triggered another story and another…and another. So can you really say a story ever ends when it just sparks a new beginning?

Obito lowered himself to the grassy ground, obsidian eyes looking around the ultimate genjutsu. They had won, Madara and him. It honestly surprised him that they succeeded. Sure many died, allies, friends, family, enemies...but it was all to fix the world. At least, that's what he had thought when it played out. He had thought, perhaps, this was what would work in bringing the world peace…he had tried so hard.

Time was irrelevant in the genjutsu; it could have been only a millisecond to an eternity that they've been trapped in the genjutsu. It was the image of perfection. The trees, the river, the people...they were all there. Perfect. However...it wasn't. For perfection to exist there had to be flaws to compare...and there were flaws. People were corrupt with them; it was in humanity's nature. It made them do things that would hurt others and themselves, cause serious destruction and pain. But...these little flaws made them who they were.

Obito could see it now in Rin, he loved Rin. She was sitting by him, and talking. But it wasn't his Rin, this Rin lacked his Rin's flaws. The flaws and little quirks that made her _her_. He realized, even though her mistakes in themselves weren't the best, it was the mistakes that changed her and made her grow in ways she wouldn't have otherwise.

Kakashi was on his other side, idly commenting on Rin's chatter. Kakashi. He wasn't aloof, bitter, or really any other usual Kakashi characteristic. He figured, perhaps, it was because of the lack of pain in his "past". There was no life-changing experiences for him, so really...he was just a blank slate. He didn't even have his trademark mask or Obito's eye. His two visible charcoal eyes were alight with empty mirth, joy that seemed so very much alive that Obito wished he could feel as sincerely happy as "Kakashi" seemed to.

Obito watched them. He watched them for he knew not how long, they were just friends here. Ninja didn't exist in this world, so they were not a team. However, as he watched his teammates, he slowly began to realize how incorrect it all was. His "friends" were not the people he wanted, he wanted his slightly-dysfunctional-drama-filled teammates that he joked with. Teammates that he trusted to guard his back. The teammates that he would go pigeon bombing with. (long story) His teammates that he knew were dead. He knew his Rin was long gone, he still slightly blamed the white-haired idiot beside him. But when he saw Kakashi's face when his "mask" fell, he knew that the man also blamed himself for Obito's "death". At the time he figured it wouldn't matter, as they would all end up in the perfect world where there were no shinobi, no wars, and his _family_ would be alive.

When Kakashi found him and Rin sitting on this hill, he was startled to see the man looking so pleased to be with them and the lack of his ninja gear. It was then he began noticing how this perfect world...was indeed anything but.

The birds were all the same, without any distinction other than gender. The water was the perfect moderate temperature without any exception. Then there was the rustle of trees without anything to disturb them. It was always midday. He felt stifled, and stuck. It was so..._fake_. Fake. Fake. Fake.

It was the beginning of panic that made him realize with disgust that he was half responsible for creating a world that was so organized by the book it lacked the spice of decision. And with horror, he realized he had destroyed the world that of which he loved. That world was corrupt. Yes, very corrupt, but the world he chose over it was _sick_.

This sick world was a world of puppets that would dance on strings for their master forever.

The corrupted world was of decision and growth. Its people would grow and change with each experience they came across and learn to choose who they were to become.

His decisions…didn't lead to his perfect world.

Obito's hurt heart slowly began to beat again where it once stood petrified. He had thought Madara was supposed to fix this pain. To create a world without pain. But now he felt a pain, an excruciating agony in his being that could only come from losing everything and everyone he had ever loved. Perhaps the worst part of it was the thought that he would never escape the hell disguised as a haven, he couldn't even go to the afterlife where his slightly-dysfunctional-drama-filled team was. Out of all of them, he felt he deserved this self-made hell. But he still didn't want it. He wanted the little quirks in his teammates. He wanted to see life's light in Kakashi's eyes. He wanted...the hurts that came with loving others.

Suddenly, as if his unspoken plea was heard, the genjutsu lit with blinding light and faded from existence.

Obito blinked, finding himself lying down on the remains of a battlefield. A figure stood before him, clothed in pure light from the person's spirit.

He gasped in awe, but found himself unable to move. Obito's body was so horribly disfigured and broken it was amazing he was able to remain alive.

The figure moved down and lightly touched Obito between the eyebrows. He could feel something change, his awareness perhaps. He felt some dark broken part of his spirit mend, the part that had been stomped on and hurt so many times. He also sensed a decision had to be made. He sensed, another chance for the world. A new beginning. A chance that would prevent it all from happening. The corrupted world would get another shot. A shot, he felt, he wouldn't be able to make happen.

That's what the Being was waiting for. A decision.

The Being. He knew the Being. At least, he thought he did.

This Being was the one to create this world.

This world wasn't made for the corruption, nor was it supposed to be like his and Madara's puppet world.

It was a world for unadulterated _love_.

The Being before him was that Love.

He wasn't capable of such honest love like Him. He couldn't bring himself to believe he was even able to be what the world would need. He was the one, the only one, to practically beg for the love of what his home world was made for. But he also knew it probably wasn't his place to be the Changer. He was only a half-dead human with an easily corruptible spirit. No. He was too easily swayed, and had turned dark over the years. The world needed one who would reflect light and love, someone who wouldn't be swayed into hatred so easily. A steadfast person who wasn't already worn from what the world had to offer.

He turned his battered head to look at the boy he had killed what felt like ages ago. That boy had such a benevolent spirit, it warmed the hearts of the seemingly living dead. The corpse's blood matted blond hair waved lightly in the breeze, dirt and grime covered its frozen face. He would be the perfect Changer, or at the very least, better then himself.

Obito's slow and shallow breathing was the only thing that showed he was indeed alive, since he was so still one could almost mistake him for dead. His dimmed eyes looked up to the waiting Creator, he gave a slight smile and let his eyes roll back to the blond child's corpse. He had made his decision. So _this _was how his perfect world was going to be created. With a gentle sigh, Obito's eyes closed.

As he left what was once his body, he saw the blond boy's body let out a breath that stirred the ash in his face before it stilled once more. Obito apparently hadn't completely killed him before Madara set the genjutsu into motion. He only looked back once at his body, with a deep sense of compassion, his body had suffered greatly and had served him well. Obito smiled softly before he turned and went to the Otherside.

And then the world slipped backward.

* * *

**Esparia: I know it's short. But what are you expecting from a prologue?**

**Naruto: Not as bad as I thought...**

**Sasuke: Why are the doors locked?**

**Naruto: I mean, I didn't even have to do much. And dying is a classic way of jumping back in time.**

**Kakashi: More like jumping into an alternate timeline.**

**Hinata: I-I don't think...that's how it worked...**

**Sasuke: Seriously? Is no one worried that we're locked in here?**

**Hinata: I t-think Naruto-kun was the only one m-moving up in time while the rest of the world s-stayed put and let y-you back on i-its time...**

**Naruto: I don't follow.**

**Sasuke: Chidori! *rebounds off the door***

**Naruto: *looks around* Since this is so short, do we put up chapter one right away or...**

**Director: Of course, but chapter one is rather boring so...**

**Naruto: We're putting up chapter two?**

**Director: Eh, no...not edited for reader consumption yet.**

**Esparia: Okay, onward!**

**Sasuke: *sizzling on the floor***

**Naruto: *drags Sasuke to the next chapter***


	2. Chapter 1

**Naruto: This place is bigger...*drops Sasuke***

**Esparia: It has more plot.**

**Naruto: So will I get to fight off really evil guys with awesome jutsu.**

**Esparia: Er...maybe.**

**Disclaimer: *sneaks in and gets up close to the camera* Esparia don't own anything...**

**Esparia: *shoves Disclaimer out of the way so Reader can read***

* * *

Chapter One

Slipped Down the Spiral Staircase

May 18th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

If you are reading this, then I better be dead and the world is fine and not being set into some world ending apocalyptic destruction. This first journal entry keeps getting longer then previous ones, but I'll try to stick to the point and summary of each life.

1st Timeline,

Age lived to: 19 years, four months, thirteen days

Cause of Death: Being turned into a human kabob is such a pleasent way to go, don't you think? The Genjutsu prevented Kyuubi and Uzumaki healing to work.

Summary: Everyone thought Madara was a psychopathic nutcase that couldn't actually take over the world. I was declared the unofficial seventh Hokage of Konoha since the sixth was relieved of duty, but more closely resembled a war chieftain then kage. Most of the fighting population was killed in battle, but the civilians were probably completely killed off in crossfire and gaseous attacks. Zetsu was killed early, and didn't bring out problems I faced in future timelines.

Mental Age: 19 years, four months, thirteen days

2nd Timeline,

Age lived to: 23 years, four months, seventeen days

Cause of Death: Poisoned by one of Sasori's leftover and experimental poisons.

Summery: Secretly slaughtered most of the Akatsuki at a young age, leaving only Zetsu and Madara. Being Zetsu hadn't come into play yet and didn't reconize him as a threat, and I wasn't strong enough to face off Madara in a child's body, I decided to wait. I openly showed off my abilities from the past, gained the village's fear and was declared "power hungry" when I tried for the position of Hokage again. (I needed the position) I married Hinata at age 22, and was going to become a father.

Mental Age: 42 years, eight months, thirty days 

3rd Timeline,

Age lived to: 12 years, two months, four days

Cause of Death: Clashing chakra with two seals shut my body down; chakra fire hurts.

Summery: I became withdrawn and tried warning everyone. Terrified the village with my "unyouthful" and unstable actions. Distrust was firmly implanted within rookie genin and team seven. Which caused us to perish in the Forest of Death. Long story short, my team was killed by rain genin, Sasuke's death angered Orochimaru, the angry Orochimaru bit me on the wrist, the cursed seal clashed with the Kyuubi's seal, clashing seal chakra was the cause of death.

Mental Age: 54 years, eleven months, three days

4th Timeline,

Age lived to: 16 years, one month, twelve days

Cause of Death: Sasuke gut my stomach open.

Summery: Killed off the entire Akatsuki by the age of fifteen and a half, or so I had thought, but left Orochimaru and his apprentice (they didn't seem to be part of ending the world). Sasuke found out that I killed his brother, and went as ballistic as an Uchiha could. Which is a lot if you consider what happened to Madara. He went nuts again when he found out why his brother was a missing ninja.He went rouge and swore vengeance on Konoha (him and everyone else). Orochimaru took over his body, and Sasuke fulfilled his goal of vengeance when Orochimaru (in Sasuke's body) went on a mass killing spree.

Mental Age: 71 years, zero months, fifteen days

5th Timeline,

Age lived to: 17 years, one month, zero days

Cause of Death: Blood poisoning.

Summery: I played with my chakra too early in life, early enough to get me sent off to ROOT. Under Danzo's "care". I gained a new respect for Sai. He turned out surprisingly sane after everything that happened. I started a rebellion, that took over eleven years to complete and many lives were lost. Mostly lost track of time before we were freed. Our bodies were sickly and damaged from the revolt, Sai, Shin, myself, and a few others died shortly after. Though I did learn some interesting things about Konoha, jutsu, and myself.

Mental Age: 88 years, one month , fifteen days

6th Timeline,

Age lived to: Six years, three months, five days

Cause of Death: I got stabbed in the forehead.

Summery: By then I was tired, saving the world isn't easy and I have yet to figure out how. I decided that I'd try to nip everything in the bud, and the best thing I could come up with was to infiltrate Sarutobi-jiji's office to sneak information in. It didn't really go according to plan. I ended up being caught and captured by ANBU, and then suspected of being a spy. I was sent to Ibiki's "office", his version of 20 Questions isn't very fun. Neither are mindwalks with a Yamanaka. Super awkward when he wandered into my other Timelines' rooms. I sealed those afterwards. Eventually word leaked out that I "knew the future" and was assassinated.

Mental Age: 94 years, four months, 20 days

7th Timeline,

Age lived to: ...still alive...

Cause of Death: ...still alive...

Summery: ...in progress...

Mental Age: ...in progress...

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

_Naruto__ was breathing heavily, blood pooling in __his__ mouth __from a broken tooth. He __spat __the remnants of his bloody tooth__ onto the already red stained ground. __He__ could feel the ground sway beneath __him__; __he had lost a notable amount of blood before his wound had completely healed.._

_Sasuke jogged up to __Naruto__, a slight limp in his right leg._

_"Sasuke," __Naruto__ acknowledged with a nod, "why aren't you with your battalion?"_

_Sasuke looked __at __him__ with his remaining black eye, his other long since gouged out over the course of __the__ chaotic three and a half year war, "They're dead."_

_"What?" __Naruto__ asked, more out of disbelief then question._

_"Dead," __Sasuke__ grimaced, a hand holding his wounded side, "they were gassed when I went to talk to the messenger."_

_"Then, how are-"_

_"Kakashi-sensei and Sai-san are gathering the left over __ninja__ at the western side; I'm trying to gather the eastern troops. Which, as even you can see, __hasn't __been very successful," he nodded to the lack of people behind him._

_"How is Sakura-chan holding?" __Naruto__ asked noting the lull in enemies __his__ remaining shinobi were fighting off._

_"Sai-san said he was going to meet up with her..." he said, scanning the barren land of what was once the Land of Fire. __T__he land very __well__ lived up to its name now. It was covered in fallen charred trees and dying flames in the bloodied ashen waste._

_"Any news from Suna?" __Naruto__ asked, __thinking__ back to Gaara's distress call five days prior. __Gaara__ had urgently requested information as to whether __Konoha__ continued to stand; but when __they__ sent out a confirmation __Gaara__ remained __silent__. Sasuke was in charge of the messengers while also leading a battalion in the east._

_"Dobe," Sasuke drew out slowly,__ with a grimace and a look of sympathy he said__, "the Kazekage is dead, and there are only a handful of people remaining. It was sent a few days ago, it's safe to say that Suna no longer even exists; the same applies to all hidden villages because of their month long silence, with the exception of Iwa. Iwa has probably fallen, we haven't heard from them in a week."_

_Naruto's shoulders dropped__, "no one is left, how did this happen?"_

_Sasuke just shook his head, "crazy men aren't predictable, we weren't prepared. He split us up and picked us off, we couldn't have predicted how he would do it until it was too late."_

_Kakashi, Sai, and a few shinobi came out of the dirty fog. __Naruto's__ eyes searched frantically for the pink haired kunoichi, __but to no avail._

_Sai looked at __Naruto__ with the deepest and realest remorse __he'd__ ever seen on __the emotionally blunted__ face and said, "She's gone, she fought to the end."_

_Sasuke looked at the ground as did Naruto__; __their__ long time teammate, friend, and sister was gone._

_"Sakura-chan," __Naruto__ murmured._

_Kakashi looked ahead blankly, "how many are left?"_

_Naruto_ _scanned the troops behind him__, "we are about seventeen men strong, if we're including yours then its a measly twenty three. __Unknown amount of people in hiding__."_

_Kakashi looked around the grouped together ninja, and said in half-serious __and __halfhearted attempt of relieving stress, "I'm now the oldest man alive, I don't know how I feel about this."_

_Sai tilted his head, "and I suppose we are now an extinct species."_

_"That is a most unyouthful thing to say!" exclaimed a tired Lee._

_Sai's eyes roamed the group, "there aren't any females present, unless you count Naruto."_

_Naruto__ looked at him flatly, "Sai, __remind me, when this is all over, to talk to you about morally harmful humor__."_

_A shinobi behind him frowned, "so even if we win, we will still lose?"_

_Everyone deflated at that; __Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, '__thank you Sai, for single-handedly dropping the group's moral to below __zero__.__'_

_The shinobi murmured to each other, losing the will to fight by the minute._

_"We don't know that for sure," __Naruto__ said, "there are probably plenty of civilians in hiding, women and children. It's unlikely that we are the only ones left."_

_They perked up a little at this. This was pretty sad __once_ _one__ thought about __what actually __boosted their spirits. __However it was not to be, as they __were getting the moral __into the positives__ a large boom resonated across the clearing, followed by the sound of mad laughter._

_"I suppose," __drawled_ _the __voice of Madara, "that you all think you still have a chance."_

_The__ small band of endangered humans __gathered into a circle__; four faced inward as the rest faced outward. It was a defense formation made in the way so if an enemy were to teleport in the middle of the circle, they'd be taken down before they could stab them all in the back._

_Madara chuckled__, "you poor things really are stupid."_

_T__here was a blinding flash __as a flaming flower bloomed in the center of their circle__, throwing __their collective__ bodies outward. Some never __rose__ again, while others were cut down mercilessly in the wake of the blast._

_Naruto stumbled to his__ feet and turned in time to see the last of __his__ standing teammates be __cut down__._

_"Kakashi," __he__ breathed in horror._

_Kakashi fell with a dull thump, still alive despite the grievous wound to his abdomen._

_Sasuke's __single black eye was glazed and half closed upon death__, while Sai__'s face was content__. Lee didn't survive the blast, __his corpse mangled and burned;__ and neither __did__ five other shinobi, since __their whole forms could be seen._

_Kakashi looked up from __the reddening ground, __his eyes glossed with pain, "I always thought it __was __a curse to live on while the ones I love die around me-cough- but maybe I was supposed to make sure it didn't happen again- cough cough -I'm sorry Naruto, I broke my promise." _

_Naruto remembered the __promise __his old sensei had__ made oh so long ago in Wave._

_Kakashi blinked a few times__ before he slowly closed his eyes, and with all that said and done, left the realm of the physical._

_Obito looked down at Kakashi, an array of mixed emotion flashed through his eyes before his shadow clone impaled Naruto from behind, managing to make a human dango stick out of his blade. Naruto slipped off the katana and coughed once, twice, before falling forward into the ashy ground. Naruto twisted around and __sent a __rasengan __to__ surprised Obito's stomach. Before he knew it, his mind was in a genjutsu. It no doubt would leave his body to bleed dry onto the ground. It was the end for Naruto, the end of his story, or so I had thought; Konoha was long ago destroyed and the biju were already prisoners. Those were his last thoughts before all he knew was a genjutsu, but it suddenly cleared. Naruto could feel himself again, he was outside of the genjutsu now, and could tell from the pain wracking his body it would be a short amount of time before he died._

_Naruto was dead, but at the same time he wasn't, it was like he was holding on and just waiting. He wasn't decisively dead yet, apparently, because he felt himself suddenly pulled back into his body. But this time, he was in a warm dark place. Naruto felt safe, with the steady __thumps__ of a...heartbeat? He wasn't reincarnated, He was pretty sure one wasn't supposed to remember their past self if that was how it worked. But Naruto could feel or sense a greater being watching over him. A being that wasn't of the world. Naruto could tell He had sent him with a purpose. But as he lay in, what he could assume to be, his mother...he wondered if perhaps none of what happened actually happened, and was merely given knowledge with future events to prepare me._

_Naruto would figure out that his soul time-slipped and that it was the Creator that sent him to this time and place, with the purpose of preventing the world from self destructing itself before its time. Naruto would learn of the existance of the Creator and his duty in his second life time...but the story about to be told was not his second life, nor was it his third, fourth, nor fifth. No, Naruto would die again, and because he failed to understand his entire job, he would slip down the spiral staircase of time until he reached the goal._

* * *

**Chibi!Tsunade: *points at readers* Everyone loves comments as a writer. So Review or I'll pound through your screen and make you.**

**Kakashi: Maa, that really isn't ****necessary, Tsunade-sama. You're frightening them...**

**Chibi!Tsunade: And you're apathy is making them not review.**

**Kakashi: Hm? You say something?**

**Chibi!Tsunade: WHY YOU LITTLE PUNK!**

**Kakashi: *Kawarimi***

**Chibi!Tsunade: *goes chasing after him* Ooh, the little creep thinks he can just- *runs out of range***


	3. Chapter 2

**Esparia: Whoa! Such a warm welcome.**

**Naruto: Of course it is, everyone loves my anime/manga.**

**Sasuke: *digging at the floor with a plastic spoon* Must escape...must escape...must escape...**

**Esparia: And look at where they're from!**

**Naruto: ...ah, the real world?**

**Esparia: *glares* Not what I mean, but I'm seeing Mexico, Hong Kong, Iceland, Netherlands, India, Germany, Italy, New Zealand, United States, United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, China, Poland, Switzerland, and France up on the views board. Hmm, I need to visit France again.**

**Naruto: I don't understand. What does this have to do with the story?**

**Kakashi: *turns page in book* The author is excited, role with it.**

**Esparia: I mean who spends ten minutes on the Eiffel Tower and calls it good? No one. *taps chin* Then again...who gets distracted by book stores for a good hour when you can be touring Notre Dame? Although in my defense Shakespeare and Company is an epic bookstore.**

**Naruto: *loud whispers to Kakashi* Esparia is **_**crazy**_**, can we ditch?**

**Kakashi: Did you sign your contract?**

**Naruto: …**

**Kakashi: …**

**Naruto: Dang it.**

**Sasuke: *goes off to find the contracts***

**Disclaimer: Yipee! Chapter three! Bonjour, people of the internet. I'm the awesome disclaimer that has come to inform you that Esparia doesn't own Naruto outside of using him as fan-bait.**

**Naruto: Oi!**

**Disclaimer: Esparia doesn't own any of the characters with exception of any and all OCs within these walls. Esparia also doesn't own Shakespeare and Company, only the books bought there. With that being said, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.**

**Naruto: It called me fan-bait.**

**Sasuke: (in background) *humming mission impossible theme song***

Chapter Two

Back to Ground Zero

May 18th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

I have seen my world end more then anyone should ever see. I have witnessed my wife and unborn child die as I lay paralyzed. I have seen and experienced tortuous child abuse to condition my body for becoming a killing machine. I have been brutally interrogated by one of the scariest men alive. And I made actions that inadvertently killed my family. However, this time, I will do it right. I will be as much of a light as I can. Because this time...I am not going to let the world die. I am a Changer, and so help me, I will do everything in my power to fulfill my Creator's Will. His Dream is my dream. I may be a broken human being with an aged soul that is scarred and seen many horrific things, but I have never been one to back out of a promise. I promised to help save the world, so I will live as many times over to keep my promise. A man who does not fulfill a promise is dirt. A man who is prideful in keeping his promise is a maggot. A man who actively breaks his promise is beneath the maggots which writhe in the dirt of animals. A man who keeps his promise out of love and humility; sees himself as that of a rock, but is worth more being he cannot see the diamonds within. I hope, one day, I shall be the man who is but a rock.

I promised to help save the world, and Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto never breaks his promises. It is, after all, my nindo.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

The world had frozen before it reversed all movements made, time as it were continued climbing higher and higher in it's ascent to infinity. The world itself got ruined five more times, each a little different then before. However, once Naruto was assassinated in his sixth life, his seventh chance was given. Reborn with the light of the Creator shinning within his soul as it does with every newborn. His blurry eyes looked up at his mother for the seventh time in his life. His baby-gray eyes searched her's with a childlike innocence.

"Hi there Naruto," Kushina whispered. Her weak, but beautiful smile looked down at Naruto with love only mothers possess. Her red hair was slightly disheveled from child-birth, but even with the wariness of this, it did nothing to hide her natural beauty. Naruto's father certainly chose a beauty, one with a wild but kind-hearted spirit.

Looking at her, Naruto made a rather risky decision but one he really always wanted to do. Smiling with baby gums showing he said, in the most basic baby sounds, "Kaka."

Her eyes widened briefly before relaxing and laughing slightly, "Yes, I'm your Momma."

Tears glittered in the low light within her eyes. Kushina tightened her grip on her baby and brought him closer before gently kissing the crown of his blonde head. A lone tear fell as she whispered, "I'm your Momma."

"Kaa," Naruto yawned before sluggishly blinking his eyes. Naruto's baby body was tired, but all the experienced boy-man wanted, was to see his mother. However as he closed his eyes, he heard her whisper a lullaby he could vaguely remembered from a few Timelines he's slipped. A lullaby he listened to other mothers sing to their children when he was taking midnight walks. He slowly fell asleep listening to her voice, tucked in the safety and the warmth of her arms.

"Tooku ni ite mo kimi ni to doku darou.

Kono boku ga kokoro kome okuru messeeji.

Kibou koso rashinban sa Ai wo yubisasu yo.

Nemure Sotto nemure Asu wa yume tairiku.

Kodoku ni obiete ita yuube no kimi.

Boku no na wo yonde 'ta ne Mune ni terepashii.

Kiseki nanka ja nai Towa ni ai wa enejii da kara.

Nemure Sotto nemure Kanashimi wo wasurete.

Jidai wa umi ni shizumu yuuhi no you sa.

Hoshizora wo tobikoete kimi wo mukae ni yuku.

Hoshizora wo tobikoete kimi wo mukae ni yuku."

Naruto wished he could have listened to his mother's soft voice continue singing, but baby bodies fall asleep fast and didn't stir when they did. He wouldn't see her again, at least, as long as he succeeded in his mission.

By the time Naruto woke up, his mother was once again dead. Sometimes his mother helped his father by holding the biju while he was sealed, and other times she died early. He didn't know what caused these differences, but either way, she ended up dead. It was a hard truth to acknowledge that he would never have his mother, but Naruto knew he would always love her like she loved him.

Naruto didn't have much time to figure out what was going on, but when he did he began panicking. His mind whirled through options that could save his father, but none of them seemed possible. He had failed to do so in every other timeline, but it didn't stop him from trying to save Minato. However being a newborn baby brought down your ability level to zero. You couldn't communicate, you couldn't walk, your eye-hand coordination was worse than a slug's (being they neither have eyes nor hands), and your chakra coils aren't developed in the least. His eyes were unclear and could see the best, nor was the neural paths in his brain lessened to make his responses to things as they should be. Babies were naturally all synesthests, so he had a hard time comprehending things. So, what were his abilities? Smile, gurgle, eat, sleep, go, and cry...not always on his whim.

_'Well,'_ Naruto thought, _'I could breath and blink but that's about it. Wait a moment...blink. I wonder…'_

With a long-shot idea half formed thought, he began wailing. Naruto didn't have those set of Uzumaki lungs for nothing. His dad barely glanced down at him before looking back to where he was going. Hushing his son and continuing to run with him in hand.

"Waa...mmh-hmmm..." Naruto stared at the idiot he called father, _'is he really not going to look at me? I mean the point of me crying is to get his attention. If he doesn't look at me how am I going to send a message with my blinks? Maybe if I stare at him long enough. I don't like being ignored. Dad~ Dad~ You will look at me~ Oh for the love of ramen, look at your son!'_

For the briefest moment Minato looked down at him before looking back to where he was running, not giving Naruto time to even blink. Growling to himself, which came out more like a wet gurgle, Naruto began crying again.

"Shush Naruto," Minato said, not so much as a glance his way but glanced up as a flaming roof sailed overhead.

Naruto just responded to by wailing louder, "Waa! Waa! Waa!"

"Naruto, hush..." He said, seeming to get a little more frantic with his son's increasing displeasure.

_'Oh, am I bothering you? How about a little louder,'_ Naruto thought before raising his voice, "MWAA! MWAA! MWAA!"

"N- eh, Naruto, shh-shh-shh, okay okay...uh, what did Jiraiya say you did when a baby cried? Wait no, not that...to sing. Sing, yes...er... rock a by baby on the treetop-"

Naruto ignored his father's awful singing, but found it rather ironic that the great fourth Hokage struggled with his only child. Even Gaara knew what he had to do with his children, granted he didn't know how to do the games but he got the concepts, "WAAA! WAA! MWAA!"

"-your cradle will rock-"

_'His voice...don't laugh, don't laugh…'_ Naruto pleaded with himself as he continued wailing, "WAHAA! WAHAA! WAHAA!"

"-down will go baby, cradle and all..." Minato trailed off.

Naruto stopped, his mouth wide open. And looked up at his dad, processing what his father just said. What kind of awful song was that? Did he misjudge his father? Was his father secretly an evil baby hater? Who even came up with that song to begin with? Probably an Uchiha, they had a tough love mentality. If his father was singing him Uchiha brain washing lullabies and thought he could get away with it, the man had another thing coming!

"...I never realized how dark that lullaby was." Minato mumbled.

Minato looked down at Naruto with a bemused expression, which he met with an angry baby glare. This seemed to startle Minato but Naruto just continued glaring.

"Heh-hey Naruto...don't, don't be angry son."

Naruto narrowed his eyes further until they were just squints. Maybe his father wasn't a baby hater that wanted to brain wash him with dark Uchiha lullabies, but if he was…

"I had no idea babies could release KI...unless...Kai!" He exclaimed, and looked at Naruto expectantly.

Naruto baby-huff/snubbed him, which was more of a grouchy gurgle.

Minato looked around in embarrassment. Muttering under his breath that his son already knew what a bad father he was going to be.

Naruto felt himself begin to fall asleep.

_'No, not yet. I won't let it...happen…'_ Naruto blearily looked up to see his father casting an all too familiar genjutsu. Feathers floating around him, Naruto could only succumb to sleep, _'Darn it all...to Wave...and back…'_

* * *

The next time Naruto woke up, he had his father painting his belly with his back propped on a surprisingly comfortable rock. With a sigh Naruto noticed a little of the ink off to his side. When Minato had his back turned, Naruto used all his concentration on dabbing his finger in the ink and adding a few extra marks. They were hardly noticeable and, hopefully, would give the desired effect. 95 years gives you enough time to learn how to modify complicated "seals", which are really just dimensional manipulation, apparently he was pretty proficient as a seal master. To bad no one taught him in his first life.

Before he knew it, the grumpy chinchilla was once again pacing its cage in his gut. Minato died, and Naruto was left there to tumble off their perch to the ground with the lack of active support. The ground was littered with sharp debris and pieces of dangerous things everywhere. The problem was, but not limited too, his lack of motor skills and yet to fully develop muscle.

Naruto landed with a sickly "thunk", he winced when he felt blood spilling from his soft baby face, _'Ow... Face in glass! Face in glass. Ouch. Ouch...ow-ow-ow-ow-oww, I think I hear people.'_

"Waaa! Waaa! Waaa!"

A short while, many tears, and a small splatter of baby blood later, Naruto finally got an answer.

"There's a baby over here!" Naruto heard a man call, and judging from his foot falls, an injured chunin.

'_Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, we are proud to present the youngest vocalist in Konoha history, UZUAMAKI NARUTO! This baby can reach decibels you can't even hear, and now for a brief demonstration,' _he thought before wailing even louder, "WaAa! WaAa! WaAa!"

"Oh my- get Sarutobi-sama and a medic!" The chunin yelled, Naruto heard a man shout a reply before disappearing.

First thing the injured man did was pick him up from the dirt. Naruto stopped crying, because it hurt pretty bad to move his face with glass splinters in it. He looked up at the unknown man piteously, before gurgling happily at the man who saved his handsome face that would soon attract all the ladies. One pale eyed princess in particular.

The man, in turn, just looked at him in horror. Before carefully adjusting his grip on the hurt baby. With his hands firmly holding the unknown child, he walked over to Minato a few good yards away. It was strange, Naruto thought, seeing his dad lie there dead. Every past Timeline he wasn't in the battlefield to see the village, let alone see his father's fallen body dead. He didn't know why it was different this time around, and he personally didn't really wish to know. At least the images were blurry enough that he couldn't easy see what his father's face upon death looked like.

"Hokage-sama?" The boy said, because now the more Naruto looked at him, the younger the chunin seemed. The boy knelt down and moved to turn the Yondaime over.

"Tou...manato..." Naruto baby jabbered, making a few nonsense sounds before crying loudly for the chunin's attention.

One of the baby reflexes, is the tendency to cry, laugh, or gurgle over everything. Basically speaking, babies make noise and are self-absorbed brats that need all the attention in the world. Naruto thought being in that mindset was a bit weird at first, but it was their survival technique so he didn't put too much thought into it. Besides, in his defense he still had glass splinters in his face, had yet to eat, he was cold, he was tired, he just had the Kyuubi no Kitsune caged in his developing Chakra coils, his mother is dead, his father just died before his blurry eyes, the world still needed saving, and he couldn't do a thing about it. So all in all, he had a good enough reason to cry.

The chunin seemed to realize that Minato was in fact dead, and that he held a baby that simply came out of nowhere. Naruto could only guess what the man was thinking. In all honestly, he was a bit scared. I mean, give him some credit, a helpless baby who could very well die because of what is going through this man's head. He was thought to be Kurama the first six times, what's to say it wouldn't happen again. Naruto had to make the chunin think something else...what could he do? With a figurative snap of his fingers, as babies can't snap their fingers, he came up with the perfect plan that had yet to fail him this far into a Timeline. '_Cry: Infant's Wail no Jutsu!'_

"WAAAA! WAAAA! WAAAA!"

The boy began to panic; his lack of experience with children was very prominent. "What do I do? What do I do? It's crying. Why is it crying? No, no, no, no, no...Don't cry. Please don't cry." He stood up then sat back down, his pathetic attempt to shush and rock Naruto was admirable, being that he was probably under the stress of a ruined village, unknown status of family members, and a dead Hokage laying at his feet. Naruto would see to it that he would get the chance to live past the insane war ahead.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay...uh, what did my mom do with Anzu? Hush little baby, don't you cry. Momma 's- Nii-san 's gonna to sing you a lullaby?"

"WAHAAA! WAHAAA!" Naruto found it funny how the chunin instantly started singing an off tune lullaby when he didn't know what to do. Maybe it was a shinobi thing, because kunoichi just seem to emit alpha waves when they sung and put babies to sleep like it was nothing. He would have to talk to Jiji later about introducing child rearing to the ninja education system, infant care in particular. What if a shinobi had to rescue a child and didn't know how to comfort it, yeah that wouldn't be good. Naruto supposed that's where the D-rank babysitting missions helped, though that usually had the age range of around five years old and up.

The poor chunin sighed and said, "I know my singing stinks but-"

Naruto couldn't help but laugh, his face was at such a level of despair he swore he could see a few ghost fires hanging over the chunin's head. He had a drooly sort of laugh, he noticed, but it couldn't be helped.

He looked at Naruto with an intrigued face, Naruto's own blood caked face smiled up at the boy. He adjusted the baby on his lap, and seemed to decide on something. He whispered a few words and made a few hand signs. Before he knew it, bubbles and butterflies were floating around them. It was a simple ninjutsu, but fascinating that the boy actually came up with something that would work on kids.

Not wanting to disappoint, and having a baby's instinct, he gurgled and grabbed at the bubbles and butterflies. '_If the boy lives long enough, and raises a family, he should remember that this technique was good for something.'_

He visibly relaxed as Naruto played with the jutsu. He smiled a bit before freezing, his eyes locked on the baby's face. Naruto drooled over a butterfly while smiling and gurgling back at him. The chunin hesitantly smiled, his eyes drifted over to the Yondaime's corpse then back to Naruto. Naruto's father, then to Naruto, Minato, then back to Naruto. Yeah, let's just watch baby Naruto pop bubbles while chunin-san thinks over the strange resemblances that probably equals family relations.

A few popped bubbles and a chewed butterfly later, the chunin finally asked in a hesitant voice, "Hokage-sama?"

Naruto looked up at him in confusion, '_Did he just-'_

The chunin brought him closer to his face, inspecting the boy's face with a strange look, "Hokage-sama is that you?"

Naruto slowly blinked at him, _'He can't possibly be thinking that I am my father. How to deter the kid...cry? No... he would take it that it was a "yes, I am Minato. Help, I am trapped inside a baby body." Gurgle. No that would only confirm it. Aha! When in doubt, put it off. Sleep: Baby's Unshakable Slumber no Jutsu!'_

So he fell asleep. Best plan ever, well...until he woke up to hear the chunin telling the Sandaime that Naruto was Minato in a new body from after killing the fox. Needless to say, even Kurama was face-pawing at this one. Well, more like banging his face against the bars of his prison and demanding to "show that foolish little hairless monkey how dead he was". But those are just technicalities no one really cares too much about.

Naruto blinked blurrily at the Sandaime who was now holding him. His child's mind was tired and he wanted food, but his elder spiritual self could make out what Sarutobi was talking about. _'Thank goodness Jiji started clearing things up. But is it really wise to tell him I'm related to Minato? At least he didn't explain how I was related, I just was. Still, I suppose laying out my lineage (when and if it spills) will just make doubts fly around the espionage department. I mean the fourth having a son nobody knew about that suddenly came out of the woodwork? Psh, probably a false gossip. His last name is Uzumaki, is Konoha really trying to make us think their Hokage got together with someone from one the scariest most powerful clans? Which Uzumaki lived there...Kushina? As in the princess? Ah-hahaha, what kind of stupid ploy is that? What? He's the jinchuriki of the nine tails? Are you telling me this blonde kid that came out of nowhere is the son of the Yellow Flash and Redheaded demon princess from Uzu, and is the jinchuriki of Kyuubi no Kitsune? How stupid do you think we are? We need better intelligence, which I will now be personally seeing to and funding.'_

The chunin was quickly sworn to secrecy about never revealing Naruto's relations in fear of the Yondaime's enemies finding out and seeking revenge. The chunin understood and quickly vowed not to utter a word. It was more of a show. Even if the chunin spills, they (the other villages) will just doubt the real situation. Ninja are used to hiding everything, so when they hear something as widespread that was supposed to be an S-rank secret, they'll just assume something is beneath the surface. Ninja forget how to take something at face value, something Naruto never could learn how not to do. With that all in place Sandaime brought Naruto to the Hokage tower where his fate would be decided between Clan Heads, the Elders, and Danzo.

* * *

**Chibi!Tsunade: None of you reviewed...*attacks random reader's screen***

**Random Reader: *high-pitched scream from classic horror movie***

**Chibi!Tsunade: *crawls through Random Reader's computer screen* REVIEW!**

**Random Reader: *crying* I just got here...please don't flick me!**

**Chibi!Tsunade: I don't care. Review!**

**Esparia: *yanks Chibi!Tsunade out of Random Reader's screen* RUN! I'll hold her off!**

**Professional-Fourth-Wall-Fixers: I got the duct tape! *begins fixing fourth wall***

**Esparia: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! CLICK THE BACK BUTTON! ESCAPE!**

**Chibi!Tsunade: NO. You punks review!**

**Esparia: What are you waiting for? Run!**

**Chibi!Tsunade: No, review!**

**Random Crew Member: Or I could just...*disconnects camera from reader***

* * *

**We're sorry, there seems to be a malfunction in the continuation of this story. The problem will be solved by next week. Ja ne.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Esparia: Hello readers, viewers, followers, not-followers, new people, and others that have been forced to try fanfiction by their friends/family/strange acquaintances that you never met previously. So this is Chapter Three. I am most pleased to see the reviews-**

**Chibi-Tsunade: As am I.**

**Esparia: Can't tell you how happy that made me. So I'm going respond!**

**Nanami Namikaze- Muchas gracias para un review. (Mi espanol estoy limitado, pero entendo sus review...mi espanol muchas mal TT^TT)**

**Yomamma3- I shall try to update every weekend. Glad you like it. :)**

**Ermahgerd- I shall never give up! Mwahaha!**

**Disclaimer: Esparia doesn't own anything! WooHoo!**

**((Esparia: Dedicated to a very dear friend and sister in every way but blood. I will get my point across even if it kills me.))**

* * *

Chapter Three

Beloved, Blessed, and Beautiful

May 19th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Emiko has been struggling for the past six Timelines with her self image. In the sixth Timeline, I learned from a rather gruesome report on Jiji's desk that she had committed suicide a few months after I left the orphanage. The report had pictures of her body, her note, what the people around her said about her, and the written report of her life. I had always viewed her as a heartless woman who neglected, and in other cases, abused me. But seeing such a cold and emotionless outlook of her death felt wrong. She was a person too, and she hid behind a smile-mask just like I did…do? I didn't know that she would kill herself. I didn't think she felt guilt over trivial matters. I thought, she was just like everyone else. Fine.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Naruto looked around the large room filled with semi-familiar faces. All had some injury of one kind or another, mainly being because almost all ninja had participated in fighting against the Kyuubi's attack. The Sandaime had just finished explaining Naruto's position as a jinchuriki. Danzo and a few clan heads were wanting claim over him, bickering like a bunch of six year olds wanting the new coolest toy, nothing out of the ordinary as far as Naruto was concerned. Though a couple timelines ago, everyone didn't want him. He was too unstable, and they feared he would bring destruction to the village. But this timeline had almost every clan head pinning after him, Naruto had a guess that it was because he was found next to the Yondaime. Sarutobi figured out rather quickly what was going on, but decided to let them bicker it out a bit more until they brought him into it.

"Hokage-sama, my clan will provide extensive care for Naruto-kun. He is going to need a family to rely on, and what better then my own clan," said one clan head.

Another scowled and said, "we can provide a larger scale of training, Hokage-sama, due to our extensive libraries. Naruto-kun should learn how to be strong if he is going to protect himself against anyone trying to use him."

Danzo cleared his throat and said, "I believe he would do well if I personally train young Naruto. He will need proper guidance in how to be a proper leaf shinobi and how to harness his large reservoir of power."

Naruto looked up at them from the piece of armor he was chewing on and snickered in his mind, _'Hypocrites.' _

Sarutobi sighed and looked down at the child whom was gumming on his armor. He looked at the shinobi in front of him, all gunning to be in charge of the child's future. He would have loved to pass the child off to clans such as the Nara or the Hatake…but Hatake were as good as disbanded with a sole survivor that was too young to care for a child and the Nara would overwhelm the kid with their genius fore planning that his genes simply wouldn't allow. Uzumaki never were known for their patients and with Minato as the sire…slow and steady was as good as the butt of a joke. He couldn't favor a clan anyway. Danzo was a good man. He had good intentions even if he had a few screws loose. Danzo would probably be able to help Naruto in controlling the vast power of a biju, but children needed love and the caring of a family. Something his old friend was inept at providing. Sarutobi settled with the unmentioned option, "I believe it would be best to put Naruto-kun in the orphanage. Where he won't have any influence from your powerful clans or ideals. He will be a regular shinobi with no clan background and thus won't be targeted by dangerous outside parties that might hurt Naruto-kun. I will keep an eye over him as he grows up. If I see any signs of Kyuubi's influence, I bring in Jiraiya to check over the seal and deal with the problem accordingly."

There was a little debate after that but it was eventually resolved. Alas, thirty odd minutes later it would be publicly known he was a jinchuriki, with questionable sanity and unknown bloodlines.

Naruto was glad it all turned out well. As far as he was concerned, being sent to an orphanage that would kick him out in a few years was a far cry from being tortured and abused in Root. He was honestly happy to go with the frightened and neglectful women instead of Danzo. To show his great appreciation and approval, he lovingly drooled all over her favorite blouse.

* * *

Naruto's first birthday had come and gone, nothing very notable had happened in that year. As that first year was mostly spent regaining lost motor skills, such as walking and exercising his vocal cords.

He knew he was not, under any set of circumstances, going to have a repeat of his doomsayer life. That was grossly counterproductive. So instead, when that nursemaid was teaching him how to waddle around, he looked up at her with his big doe eyes and said, "Pretty."

She looked at him while he continued to jabber unintelligible nonsense and wobbling around on his pudgy baby legs. He fell a few times before pushing himself back up and made a few more noises. When he turned around, he saw she had tears in her tired eyes and was making the choking-sniff-I'm-not-going-to-cry sounds.

He flopped on his legs, and lifted his chubby baby arms up. She usually would growl out a harsh "go away demon" his way or simply ignore him, but this time she picked him up in her arms and started sobbing.

He pat her teary face, with a look of childish concern on his own.

That was his first word on the day that was his seventh first birthday.

Since then he'd gotten his legs back to a somewhat stable stance. He could walk without falling and could run with pounding feet, stealth was a ways to go. It was on one particular sunny day he pulled his first ever prank, at least, in this Timeline.

"Naruto-me!" screamed one of the orphans.

He may or may not have painted on a bully's walls with pink and purple glitter glue, and may or may not have raided said bully's secret stash of candy under his bed.

The older boy totally had it coming though. Naruto was none to pleased to see him hitting that younger boy down the hall. He may have been at a toddler-like understanding, but he know what bullying looks like. He would probably know better then anyone in the village.

Naruto squeaked in fear before running into the nursemaid's room. He dived under her bed and waited. He could hear the bully's loud footsteps down the hall and the Caretaker's voice booming at the boy to stop running in the halls. The boy apologized before walking back across the hall vowing his vengeance once he found the prankster. Why did that declaration sound so familiar? Oh, right. "Sasuke-kun" had family issues so he swore vengeance that ultimately brought him the worst kind of unhappiness.

Naruto hid there for the rest of the day.

The nursemaid walked in at about nine, her face drawn and tight. She flopped down onto her bed, the mattress sunk a bit above him and scattered dust particles.

He didn't know whether or not to get out from under her bed or not. Naruto knew she didn't particularly hate him in this Timeline, but she didn't like him either. Just as he decided to wait for her to fall asleep, he saw a long thin and bloody strip of cloth fall to the ground. He heard her sniff before her bare arm reached down to grab it.

Bright blue eyes widened at the angry red marks on her forearms. She always had the long sleeved uniform the Konoha Orphanage workers were given, so one wouldn't have been able to see her bandaged arms unless she pulled them back, which she never did.

She pulled open the drawer next to her bed and rummaged around for a moment before pulling something out with a metal "shing". She got up and made her way to the adjacent bathroom. Her dark skirt swished across the floor, and her socked feet padded lightly on the floorboards. She stood over the sink crying. Peeking out from under her bed Naruto saw her place a kunai to her wrist, and in one fluid movement, that only came with practice, her blood pooled then dripped.

Naruto shimmied his way out from under her bed, shirt getting caught on a nail. He viciously yanked himself free before dusting himself free of dust bunnies. He looked behind him to see two separate bandages lying on her bed, soaked through with dull red

She hadn't noticed him yet, her concentration solely on the task in the bathroom. A sad frown marred Naruto's face and his hands hovered over the bandages. He took them in his hands and with a bit of concentration he channeled his chakra into them. The bandages disintegrated in flash of controlled fire, no sign of smoke or singes. Naruto dumped the ashes in her wastebasket before going to the edge of the door.

"Ugly, useless girl. Why are you so stupid?" She cried, "so stupid. Stupid, worthless girl."

Naruto stood there a moment, contemplating on what to say to her before saying in his childlike voice, "What you doing?"

She jumped in shock, a hand to her heart before she recognized him. She glowered, "nothing gaki."

Naruto tilted his head before asking, "You sad?"

She huffed, before rinsing her wrists free of blood. "Yes, I'm sad. Are you happy now?"

"Why- why should be happy?" Naruto asked, blue eyes squinting in confusion. His words were jumbled together, he'd have to work on that.

"Because you're- oh never mind," she sniffed.

"Why you sad?" He asked quietly. Naruto knew perfectly well why she was, he had seen this sort of thing more then he ever wished to see. Ino, though young and thought beautiful, struggled similarly. Naruto also knew that it was good to talk about your concerns and anxieties. Especially for girls, who's emotions fought harder against their bodies then boys. But boys needed to get it out just the same, it was dangerous to harbor bad things. When Naruto was young, truly young, he had his Jiji to confide in.

She didn't say anything as she wrapped her arms back up in fresh bandages.

"Did...did a bad guy say...say something mean?" He asked, looking up at her. Her dark hair fell covered her eyes, but not the tear that fell from them.

"You cry! You wan' a hug?" Naruto offered, his small arms open to her.

"Why would I hug you?" She whispered hoarsely.

"Because you sad. Caretaker-san give hug to kids who cry and is sad to make...to make them happy-smile," Naruto said nodding firmly, his eyes widened before hurriedly waving my arms in a X formation, "but not me. I'm no 'loud be happy-smile."

She sniffed before sinking to the floor, her back against the sink. Naruto hesitantly crawled up to her and wrapped his small arms around her.

"There, there...you'll be alright," he said, running my hand over her hair like he'd seen mothers, girls, and some of the more caring boys do.

She then began crying again, Naruto quickly pulled away exclaiming, "I sorry! I sorry!"

She rubbed a watery eye and asked, "Why are you sorry?"

He fidgeted, "I hug you wrong and make you cry. I sorry."

She laughed sadly, "you didn't hug me wrong. Sometimes people just need to cry."

Naruto frowned, truly confused by the concept. Every time he had cried was in times of grief or sorrow when loosing his family and pain when he was actually young. Tilting his head he asked, "...but cry is bad?"

"Not all the time," she said, "crying releases all the sadness in your heart, because when there is no sadness in your heart...you can be happy. Understand?"

He nodded slowly, his two and half year old mind puzzling over what she said. It was times like this he wished for his older mind to understand these concepts better. He then said slowly, slowly piecing his childish thoughts together, "I not 'loud to cry and get hug be- because it makes sad go away. Because when sad go away, happy come in."

"What?" She looked at me confused.

He leaned in by her ear and whispered loudly, "I no 'loud be happy."

She turned to look at him in bemusement. Her tears and sadness stalled by confusion over what the little child before her said.

He nodded and continued, "It be because I be a bad kid."

"Oh," she said, a strange expression on her face. She started remembering who the innocent looking little kid was. _'Could he really be just that? An innocent child?'_

Naruto sat back down by her and reassured, "But you no be bad, so you can cry and happy-smile."

She smiled weakly at him, "and you can't happy-smile?"

He shook his head, jabbing a thumb at his chest he said "Bad. Only fake-smile and funny."

She plucked Naruto off the ground and hugged him, which he soon responded to by hugging her back. Some far off corner where his 97 year old spirit resided, Naruto knew that he wasn't bad, per se. But his younger mind simply couldn't grasp the concept of any other explanation. He knew he would understand when he got older then two. He needed that older mind.

She hugged him for awhile before pulling back and wiping her eyes.

"Why you sad?" Naruto asked again, hoping to get an answer this time.

She mumbled something he didn't understand.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, pushing her hair out of the way.

She blew a few strands out of her face and sighed before saying, "I'm a stupid, worthless, ugly girl who can't seem to get a handle on her life."

Naruto's eyes widened in disbelief, "You no ugly or worthless or stupid."

She laughed dryly, "yes I am."

He shook his head firmly, "No. You beautiful. You smart. You kind. You...you be created for a purpose."

"Created for what purpose?" She asked rhetorically.

"I no know...but the Creator made you for pur…purpose only you can do. He spec- specif-ically made you the way you are. You are His creation, His work of art, His masterpiece. He chose you, to be born here and now for things only you can do. Because, you are worth more then hundred and one worlds and a thousand and one stars. You are His unique and beautiful jewel. Maybe you not smart in the scroll and book, but you kind and is a special person that has things the others no has. Isn't it a wonderful thought, that you be here in this point of time to hear what I have to say? If only you could see how He sees you. Because you are the _most _precious person to Him, His most beloved daughter. His frightened child that is oh so very important to Him. You aren't worthless, you are _priceless_." Naruto held her surprised and crying face between his hands and looked her in the eye, "Do you know why you are the most beautiful, most precious, most special person to Him?"

"W-why?" She whispered, tears streaming down her face.

He smiled sadly, looking her directly in the eyes I told her, "because He _Loves _you."

She openly bawled and buried her face in his shirt, after her cries turned to sobs, and her sobs turned to whimpering she said, "how do you know? You are only a child that spoke with wisdom beyond his years."

"It no me that talk," Naruto stated.

She froze. A look of fear and worry crept into her features.

He smiled and continued, "It be the Creator who make the world, you, and me."

She looked at him apprehensively.

"He sometime talk through me, 'cause His Spirit live in here," Naruto pointed to his heart then to her heart, "He live in here too."

She chuckled nervously, "I think it's only you, brat."

Naruto shook his head, blonde hair waving wildly, "No. He tell me He live in everyone and everything He ever created, unless they choose not to be with him. That make you, me, and the fox. He live _everywhere_."

She startled and stared at him. Her mind racing to figure out how the child could've possibly found out about _it_.

Naruto leaned in and whispered, "No tell no one 'bout the fox, he no like by people 'cause he did something bad for a really _really _bad guy."

She blankly nodded, her thoughts racing as to what was just implied about both him knowing of the Puff-Ball and speaking of the One who created the worlds.

Naruto gave a big yawn and said, "I go to bed now."

He stood up and walked out the door, before pausing and peeking his head around the bathroom door.

"What your name?" He asked.

"Emiko," she replied.

"Emiko," Naruto echoed, deep in thought, "that mean Blessed, Beautiful Child...like a jewel. Did you know?"

She shook her head.

"My name is Naruto." He pointed to himself, "It a fish cake in ramen. It not cool like your name. 'Cause I not a fish cake."

She laughed lightly at his opinion.

"Emiko-san…" Naruto trailed off.

"Yes?" Emiko prompted as she stood up to escort him to his room.

"He is sad when Emiko hurts herself," he said, "I threw away your past ouches, all burned and bye-bye."

Emiko noticed the lack of bloodied bandages on her bedspread with horror.

"But He left you a present you threw away," Naruto said, pointing toward the waste bin.

"Night night, Emiko-san," he yelled before taking off to bed. He couldn't lie to himself when he thought about how truly beautiful she was. Maybe he couldn't judge outward appearances the best, he's been told that he had no sense of fashion enough times for him to question his eyesight. In his opinion though, she was both beautiful inside and out, and he was rarely to ever wrong when it came to the inside.

Emiko watched the blonde haired boy run out her room, before turning her gaze to the waste bin. All she ever threw away were tissues, bandages, wrappers, and scrap paper. She walked up to the trash and looked in. And there, sitting in the ashes of her bloodied bandages, was flawless crystalline diamond with the kanji "beautiful" etched on the front.

* * *

**Esparia: That's all for now. So from now until next time, farewell, Merry Christmas and Feliz Navidad.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Esparia: GOOD MORNING, GOOD AFTERNOON, GOOD EVENING, and GOOD NIGHT to all the humanoids out there! (and inadement objects or nonhumanoids, we don't judge here on fanfiction) This is the lovely chapter four, ready to start rolling. I'm glad you guys liked my last chapter even though it had a hint of filler to it...**

**Sasuke: *slides up to Esparia* Hey, Esparia.**

**Esparia: Yes? Disclaimer! You're up!**

**Disclaimer: *salutes***

**Sasuke: Well, I was wondering where you kept your contracts for us characters.**

**Esparia: Hmm...don't know.**

**Discaimer: Esparia doesn't own Naruto nor Naruto Shippuden. So that means the characters, plots, plot holes, techniques, or any of that stuff don't belong to Esparia. However, Esparia does own the OCs and such, who have taken a life of their own. Poor things.**

**Sasuke: You don't...know.**

**Esparia: Nope.**

**Disclaimer: That being said, Esparia does own this story and the brain that came up for it. Copying is a low blow move and not recommended. Esparia only owns the Naruto characters through their actions in this story, not the characters themselves.**

Chapter Four

A Child's Wonder

May 16th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Children are beautiful things. They see things and understand things that we grownups can't even begin to fathom. Our experiences and memories train us into thinking what we would call the box. Children have no box. They haven't built up expectations of the world around them. They just know somehow some things work and others don't. I can remember times like that, but then again, I do get chances others don't in reliving that part of my life. I've gotten to experience life out of the box more then anyone else I know. So with those memories of the wonder, I get to keep myself out of the box into adulthood. But I loose the childlike wonder. Which is the most painful part of this world. You can gain wonder again, but you can never go back to having a child's wonder.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Children laughter could be heard in the background. The scuffling of feet and idle chatter of adults were the less noticeable sounds, but no less part of the relaxed atmosphere. It was a scene that Naruto was quite familiar with, content parents discussing the problems of the world and overjoyed children living the fantasies of it. Naruto had never known and never will know what it was like to be a child living without care. He would also never be able to be like the adults, in that now and in the future, because of the lack of shared experiences.

He supposed he never really had fit in, but that was okay. It is better to be handmade then a mass produced object.

His three year old mind understood this better then when it was two. Every memory slowly made more sense as his body aged, with years of practice he could easily get a small understanding of everything that he had been through. However he couldn't, no matter what kind of experience he had, understand the harder concepts with a child's mind. For example physics and theory of mathematics. But analogies and experiences were semi-understandable to a child's mind. With his past available to a small child, it would bring his old PTSD back from the pasts, but with a more innocent and horrifying outlook on the things that triggered it. As a child again he got new perspectives on events that had happened. A more strait forward and trusting face-value sort of outlook. Naïvety all but faded by the time he turned eight and by the time he was back with team seven, he'd be back to being a mentally really old PTSD war veteran. And mentally really old PTSD war veterans in child bodies really don't know how to interact with people their own "age". It's a sad fact of "time travel", that once you go back you aren't really part of that world anymore. He had tried to talk about it with other people, children, adults, adolescents, seniors…but it didn't really go his way. Many wrote it off as a childish imagination and the kids thought he was just weird. It wasn't like he knew how to play their games to begin with. He learned the games, of course, but he never knew how to interact as a child while playing those games. Sai, as emotionally constipated as he was, later proved to be a very good academy teacher. Naturally good with children, it was a little unsettling.

One might ask why in the world he was even at the playground if it was such a waste of time. It was pretty simple actually. Emiko would bring the orphanage children on outings every week for the caretaker to cleanup and sanitize the facility. The children would be released to the play grounds, and the babies would be handled by Emiko and varies volunteers or genin ninja.

This day in particular had a newly minted genin team and their jounin sensei, who were on their first mission. The poor genin were nervous and very unsure as what to do, not completely unexpected, as the babies they are attending were in varies stages of distress and there was no jounin-sensei in sight.

Emiko was sitting beside the young ninja, and was talking gently with one of the genin. They were sitting not too far from the tree he was perched. It was an unspoken rule that Uzumaki Naruto was an unwelcome visitor at the playground, in situations like this he would usually just go up to the kids but he'd decided against it for as long as he stayed in the orphanage. Emiko was a kind soul, and it was painful for Naruto to see her emotionally beat down for allowing him things other children were given. In past Timelines he was locked in his room at the orphanage while the others went out. Strangely, his interactions with Emiko over the past few years had softened her way towards him to the point she actually seems to like him. It was weird for him to be able to see such a drastic difference. The first time she said she would bring him out was a shock to his poor little heart. He had originally thought it to be a ploy, which happily turned out to be an incorrect assumption. It had been actually a few months before now, but she claimed it was to help relieve some of the caretaker's stress. Which, he supposed, could very well have been true. He found it easier to set pranks when everyone was out of the way, the possibilities were endless for the residential pranking king.

The first time he came here invited, he was told to stay by her. Being the other parents didn't want him close to their kids and possibly contaminating them with whatever evil demon powers he supposedly possessed. That was fine; really, he didn't know how to act around young kids like they were his own age.

Sadly, Emiko was verbally attacked by other adults for just letting him sit by her. Her self confidence was low enough without those fools bringing it lower. Naruto opted to stay at the orphanage the next time they went out. She blatantly refused the idea. So he began the habit of doing what he was now doing, wandering the woods. She wasn't thrilled that he wasn't going to stay in her line of sight, but he convinced her he'd stay close and out of trouble. Naruto was good with words, even if he himself didn't realize it. It was a nice change for him, to be free (to an extent) at such a young 'age'. The parents wouldn't know he was there, thus not be disturbed by his presence, and he would get time to let his semi-forced childlike behavior down.

Back when he in the first Timeline; he had sat in the very same tree he was now in, watching the children. The tree itself was less scarred and healthier but it still had the same awkward nub that dug in your back if you leaned against the trunk.

* * *

"_Mommy mommy," yelled a kid, no more then four, "Mika won't play shinobi vs. nuke-nin with me."_

"_Why not?" the mother asked asked, flipping a page in her book._

"_Mika…Mika not wanna be nuke-nin," the child pouted, "only wanna be shinobi and not take turns."_

"_Well maybe you should play a different game," she suggested._

"_But I want play shinobi vs. nuke-nin!" yelled the child. The mother looked frazzled and at a loss for how to defuse the situation._

"_I'll play with you," a blonde haired man said, jumping down from my tree. A smile spread wide across his face._

"_Really?" the kid said excitedly._

"_Yup," the man replied, "I'll be the nuke-nin first, kay?"_

"_Yosh!" The kid jumped up and took me by the hand, before running toward the playground._

_The kid pointed to himself and exclaimed, "I'm a fearless shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village! And I'm going to take you down, evil ninja-san!"_

_The tall blonde laughed 'evilly' and mocked, "I'd like to see you try, Hidden Leaf ninja are all too soft to take down the likes of me."_

"_Ha! I'll prove I'm stronger then you," he said before running at the taller man._

_He slowly dodged to the side, "You'll have to try harder then that, chibi."_

_The kid puffed out his cheeks and ran at me again, "Konoha ninja are the best, and I'm no chibi!"_

"_Ha-ha-ha, yeah right. Big talk for a little guy," He said and dodged another attack._

_The boy turned around and smacked the ninja with his tiny fist on his leg. The man 'yelled' in pain and limped away from him._

"_That was just luck, but I won't underestimate you again, chibi." the man said menacingly._

_The boy grinned and attacked him again, this time nailing him in the stomach. The blonde shinobi used a minor amount of chakra to make himself fly backwards. He 'shakily' got up, before 'collapsing' on his hands and knees._

_The kid ran up to him, worry and shock written across his face. The man winked with a grin before going back to being a 'defeated nuke-nin'._

"_You brat, you may have defeated me this time," the blonde slowly got up, "but I can promise it won't happen again. Just you watch, I'll get you back for this disgrace. You'll be sorry!" He yelled before dramatically disappearing in a cloud of smoke._

_The kid's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. His mother looked surprised by the sudden smoke._

_The shinobi leaped back behind him, without making a sound. He watched the boy's shocked expression for a moment before saying, "that was a fun game."_

_The boy jumped before looking up at him with a grin, "you a real ninja?"_

_He smiled down at the boy, blonde hair falling in his squinted eyes, "yup, one of the best."_

"_Cool," he said, "will you play with me again?"_

"_Mm, someday," He said._

_The child frowned, "why not now?"_

_The shinobi pointed up, "see that bird up there?"_

_He looked up and nodded, "yeah, it sure is tiny."_

_The blonde smiled, "well the bird is telling me to go to Hokage-sama's office. I have a mission."_

"_Ah," the kid said looking up, "you must be a really, really strong ninja if the Hokage wants you."_

"_You better believe it," the shinobi grinned._

_A look of determination came across his face, "I'm going to be a super strong ninja someday too. Then I will fight real nuke-nin and get the birds to call for me too. I will beat you shinobi-san."_

_"My name's Naruto," Naruto said with a wide grin and ruffled the boy's hair, "I'll be waiting for it."_

_He met with the kid a few times after that to play. He had been told he had a way with younger children, and that it was odd for a shinobi of such high caliber to play with kids. He treasured it. It made up for his lost childhood, giving a child a better one then they'd have otherwise. It wasn't known that it was Naruto who anonymously donated and fixed up the orphanages across the nations. They just knew it was a ninja, who the kids fondly nicknamed "Caretaker-nin". The child grew to be a good kid, always proclaiming that he'd one day outdo Uzumaki Naruto._

_Naruto was still waiting…_

* * *

Other parents were milling with the youth below, _'their spirits are so calm.'_

Naruto sighed in contentment, a small genuine smile made its way across his face. _'Yes, calm, like a gentle breeze that plays with the leaves of the trees.'_

It was so unlike the agitation that dominated them in the past-future. There was so much fear and pain, to the point that even the children didn't play. Naruto vowed to never let it become like that again.

He heaved a sigh as he watched the children play make-believe. Those small ones, with such high hopes for the future, had been his comrades, his friends, his villagers. They had become hardened and frozen over by the deaths and war, bloodied hands and marred spirits. His smile slipped from his face.

"That was a heavy sigh for someone so young," a male said above him.

Naruto had felt the shinobi above him. He posed no threat to him or the kids below and his chakra wasn't masked, so Naruto was unconcerned about his presence. Shinobi passed through the forest by the park often enough, just to make trips shorter. Naruto wasn't exactly surprised the shinobi approached him, he had gotten just as many wary looks from them then he did from the civilians. They were just more subtle and didn't openly hate him. Except for the untrained genin. But Naruto knew that any (normal) child would be surprised. So he snapped his head to look up at the shinobi in shock.

The face of a familiar chunin looked down at him, a jounin vest hung loosely around the man's shoulders.

"You're that weird chunin that thought I was a reincarnation of the Yondaime," Naruto said flatly. One of the best and worst things about children were their willingness to speak their minds. They don't hide things behind formalities or falsehoods, usually. It is a tendency that can't easily be overwritten unless he/she kept quiet. Naruto never was one known for his silence and with the lack of filter...

The man looked at Naruto in embarrassment, it wasn't his the most shining moment of his life. The chunin now jounin flickered his eyes around the area before returning his attention to Naruto.

"I was under a lot of stress the time," he said, not even bothering to deny what the child obviously knew. The jounin wondered why the child would even know he had mistaken the circumstances, but he supposed it didn't matter in the end.

Naruto turned away to look at the kids below. Nodding his head to the boys and girl he commented, "your students."

"Yes," he said with pride, "they are my first genin team."

"Congratulations," Naruto said, a smile making its way across his lips. Genin teams were a luxury during, what he called, the Lost Shinobi War. To become one's jounin-sensei was one of extreme privilege and honor. That was near the beginning of the war, by the time he was made Hokage there were no genin teams. A chunin would be given a genin as a Pair. A jounin would supervise the Pair's progress and give tips. Pairs would work until they were made jounin and chunin. Then they would split off, the chunin with a new genin to make a new Pair and the jounin assigned to a Squad Commander. The Squad Commander would be in charge of about a five to eight people. The Squad would help the new jounin improve their skills. The best jounin would be moved up to Squad Commander rank. Squad Commanders answered to the Battalion Leaders, battalions made up of about three to six Squads. Battalion Leaders usually had been or were ANBU. They would answer to the Hokage, or the next in line to be Hokage._ 'But even in times of peace,'_ Naruto knew,_ 'it was a big step for a new jounin to get their first Pair- first genin team. Impressive for someone as young as he is, couldn't be more then nineteen, twenty at the most.'_

Naruto tilted his head at the genin team. He watched them handling the infants, the dynamics seemed normal enough. One girl, two boys. Some would think that babysitting would come naturally to the girl, being as they are the more maternal of the two sexes. However this wasn't always the case, as per example the scene below. He winced when he saw how the female ninja picked up the baby; the male ninja to her left was mimicking her, under the impression she knew what she was doing. Naruto sweat dropped, even as dense moron in the first Timeline he knew that one did not simply hold a baby upside down. The other male, thankfully, knew what he was doing. However his back was to his baby-dropping teammates, talking to Emiko about baby formulas. Seemed the kid had younger siblings. Naruto looked over to the shinobi beside him to see if the man would intervene and save the future generation's necks. To his annoyance, and mild amusement, said jounin-sensei was making goo-goo eyes at Emiko.

Naruto gave a soft snort and rolled his eyes. Young love, who'd have thought?

The snort gained the jounin's attention, Naruto smirked his way and said, "While I agree that she is very pretty-"

The jounin face reddened.

"-I think you should help the two wailing babies in your team's...care."

"What do you- WHOA!" He leaped down and rushed to the surprised genin. Hurriedly fixing their hold on the infant children, all while explaining why it was important to give their heads support.

Naruto snickered, the jounin came a long way from being an uncertain and panicked chunin on the battlefield. He couldn't help but wonder if he had something to do with his Infant's Wail no Jutsu.

Emiko and the genin stopped talking when the jounin ran into the clearing like a mad man. The genin was laughing at his humiliated teammates, while Emiko watched the scene in interest. A gentle smile on her face as the jounin gently handled the babies.

An evil grin made its way across Naruto's face; it had been a long, long time since he's had any fun. What was it? Two Timelines ago, no it was three... As an aged man that's trying to prevent the world from self destruction, he needed a little fun...and as a child? Well, Naruto hated boredom as a kid. But boredom never did last long for a master of tricks and fun. Besides...who doesn't like playing match-maker at his old age? Er, young age? Hmm…

* * *

Itachi had been heading home when he passed through the forest beside the playground. Itachi was the type of person who knew a little bit of something about everything and everyone. He was an observer, a listen and learn type. So when he came across a thing he didn't know about, it instantly grabbed his attention. Especially if it wasn't completely expected.

On normal occasions he would've walked right on by, or continued leaping through the trees, with not so much as a glance at the odd thing or person. However he paused mid leap at what he saw.

"Okay, kids, we'll be leaving now," called out who he assessed as a worker at the orphanage.

Shinai Emiko 親愛 えみこ

Born to a civilian family.

Family: Mother and brother confirmed deceased. Father missing, assumed deceased.

Current Age: 19

Blood type: AB

Employed at the Konoha Orphanage.

Currently living in Konoha Orphanage facility.

Threat level: N/A

Several of the children on the playground rushed over to her. All, he noted, were indeed orphans of Konoha. But this wasn't what made him pause. No, it was the small blonde of three years that walked out of the wooded area towards them. The other children shifted to the opposite side of the young woman then where the lone child stood. The genin team followed suit. That wasn't really surprising though, what was surprising was the pat on the head the jounin gave to the boy.

Itachi was a smart person, he acknowledged the concept of the jinchuriki. But the village as a whole, was decidedly not. He hadn't seen such a forthright act of kindness to the boy outside of the Sandaime's care. The villagers that did understand the difference between prisoner and cage were too fearful of the prisoner or the other villagers' criticism to do anything that could be seen as too friendly. This oddly didn't seem to trouble the boy.

The child responded to the pat with a smile, a stiff smile. To anyone else it would've looked like the child was given a life time supply of sweets. To anyone whose lives were filled with masks and fronts, along with an open mind, would see the slight stiffen of forcibly relaxed muscles and the slightly bigger then necessary smile. While Itachi had a mask of indifference, the young one had the exact opposite. It was slightly startling to see a kid younger then his younger brother, Sasuke, so easily bring up a façade. An unnervingly refined mask that someone of even Ibiki's status wouldn't catch. Ibiki had caught onto his mask when he was younger, when his mask was still incomplete.

He had thought he had masks perfected, he certainly surpassed Kakashi-san in the art. But he felt inexperienced and silly when he saw the young kid's mask. He couldn't even see it anymore, it had been a split second of a hardly noticeable delay. A delay either out of surprise, inexperience, or out of practice.

Itachi turned back one last time toward the kid, only to see the jinchuriki glance at him out of the corner of his blue eyes. His grin curling a little more around the edges before he laughed loudly at something the jounin had said.

The kid had known he was there. Itachi had been obscured by the dense tree branches with his chakra completely suppressed.

* * *

Naruto trailed behind Emiko and the other children. His wide grin up in all its megawatt glaring glory. He had sensed the Uchiha before he had even gotten near the park. He could recognize that chakra, suppressed or not, anywhere. So distinct and odd that even in the first Timeline he could recognize it easily. (he wasn't exactly much of a sensory type before the 3rdTimeline) The boy's chakra wasn't tamed, nor was it wild. It wasn't frigid and stony or heated and passionate. It was more like an ember, something that could be calmed into nothing or sent up into a fiery inferno of doom. Compassionate and valued the lives it effected. Friend or enemy. Naruto smirked on the inside, Itachi really was a pacifist by nature…unless it came to Sasuke's safety. If Sasuke was in danger, the boy wouldn't pause against fighting Kaguya for him. Nope, Itachi was a fierce protector.

He had sensed that feeling of curiosity from Itachi; he was confused by the blonde, Naruto knew. And when Itachi didn't know or understand something, he would go through strange lengths to figure it out. Shikamaru had been much the same; probably some geniuses' curse. They became obsessive until they got an answer or several good conclusions.

Naruto felt eyes bore into the back of his head. He tilted his head up, hands resting casually behind his head. A shadow of a shadow moved across the roof.

Naruto chuckled under his breath, "and so the stalking begins."


	6. Chapter 5

**Esparia: Woo, I scrambled to do this chapter. It was horrible! I woke up and realized I had school and yet I still had a chapter to write, I panicked and now it's a day late...**

**Itachi: *looks up from "The Art of Peace"* ...you finished, did you not? **

**Esparia: Yes, I did.**

**Itachi: Then there is not reason to get so worked up. *turns page***

**Esparia: Well, I guess.**

**Itachi: I believe my otouto is coming. *looks at screen* Farewell readers. *poofs away***

**Sasuke: *opens door* Esparia. Did I hear my nii-san's voice in here?**

**Esparia: No clue.**

**Sasuke: Disclaimer?**

**Disclaimer: Itachi isn't owned by Esparia. Nor is he owned by the rabid fangirls. Esparia doesn't own the Art of Peace****…that's owned by Morihei Ueshiba****, though is currently planning on buying a copy. Esparia doesn't own Naruto or any of the Naruto Characters, this is a work of fiction, any correlation to real events is purely coincidental...or intentional.**

**Sasuke: That wasn't what I meant.**

Chapter Five

Memoirs of a Pacifist

May 24th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Uchiha Itachi, a name I haven't thought about since the 4th Timeline. I myself was never very close to Itachi-san. In the first Timeline he was killed as a nuke-nin when I was around sixteen. Once I became the seventh Hokage, I gained access to secret files and other such things. I learned of Itachi-san's involvement with the massacre. In the 2nd Timeline I had tried bringing him back from exile, sadly this was proven impossible due to a terminal repertory illness. My 3rd and 6th Timeline never gave me time to bring him back, and in the 5th Timeline it was outright impossible to do anything normal from the inside of Root. 

In the 4th Timeline, Itachi-san (in his weakened state) tried killing Sasuke when Orochimaru took over his brother's body. It was a rather pitiful ending for the man and a sad fate that all he worked for was for naught.

The man boy seems to have taken an odd interest in my existence. I have no idea why. Perhaps the butterfly effect from befriending Emiko. Maybe I'll befriend Itachi-san, he'd make a valuable ally, Itachi-san could also provide information on- I'm writing to much sensitive information to be left in a notebook. Even if this is specially sealed.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Uchiha Itachi was usually described in many different types of praise. Ranging from a genius prodigy child by adults to a hot hunk by his rather disturbingly large group of fans, then there was all the things in between. He generally ignored the flattering words, but one can only take so much without getting a little more then annoyed.

Uchiha Itachi also had an equal amount of spite projected towards him. From "stuck up little boy" to "cold merciless clan killer", not that he had gotten that this far into the 7th Timeline...but it was said at one point. He also generally ignored this, but once again, one can only take so much before needing to let out pent up steam.

Uchiha Itachi was most certainly an Uchiha. His dark, almost black, eye color that could light into the fiery bloody red of the Sharingan was a sure sign of his status. Pale skin, black hair, and stature were lesser signs of his heritage. Also, it is pretty hard to miss the massive white and red Uchiwa sewn all over his clothes. Hard to make a reputation for yourself when your clan's is already written all over you.

Uchiha Itachi, a proclaimed genius, passive to the point of appearing cold and stuck up, heir to the Uchiha Clan, rival to ego damaged ninja, feared by enemies, obsessively loved by _certain_ people, deceptively patient, and currently confused.

Confused? When did the elite resident genius ever become confused, you ask? Well let me tell you, this was by far no common occurrence to Itachi. For most things he could figure out the problem within minutes, if not seconds. Sometimes a rather hard puzzle would make itself known and Itachi would take a few days to ponder it over before either finding the answer or a good guess. But for the last week, he's been stumped over none other then the blonde ball of energy that was currently skipping stones.

Now skipping stones isn't that weird for a kid, it's actually quite common for children to compete to see who could skip stones the farthest. However, for the past week, from what Itachi had observed the kid below his tree branch was anything but common. Uncommon didn't even begin to cover the kid's weirdness. It wasn't even a weirdness the blonde had. No, it was more like an unnaturally massive amount of unpredictability and surprises pent up into a tiny little body. This unpredictable skill of stone skipping up downhill flowing creeks was really just a small inkling of the surprises Itachi had been given the past week. After seeing the kid in the park notice him, Itachi had taken to following the kid to see if he really did notice or if it was merely a fluke the kid looked his way. It had proved to be most certainly not a fluke as Itachi watched him.

At first he had thought perhaps the kid was a spy under a henge, a quick glance with the sharingan proved that theory wrong. Which he was thankful for, what village would lose their jinchuriki to a puny spy implant?

Itachi couldn't watch the kid all the time, of course, but he would make occasional visits and question a few people about the boy. What he found was annoying and disconcerting. Annoying because no one that was on a personal level with the kid (Emiko-san, Sarutobi-Hokage-sama, and Nobuo-senpai) would really reveal anything of significant importance, and passerby civilians/ninja would only share gossip. He didn't even bother with the ANBU around him, it would be more productive talking to brick walls and waiting for a reply. He had gone to the orphanage a few days back to ask the kids, see if they overheard or saw anything. What he got instead wasn't what he was looking for but interesting none the less.

* * *

_Itachi was overlooking the playing children at the orphanage. They were laughing and smiling like they didn't have a care in the world, at that age he was training and getting migraines from the pressure his father put on him. He grew up during the end of the Third Shinobi War and witnessed the Kyuubi no Kitsune attack, to a mere child it was bound to alter his psych. He was never considered 'ordinary' but perhaps it wouldn't have been so horribly different if he had been born afterward. How odd that he would never fully understand what it was like to be a carefree child. His cool gaze shifted to a small blonde boy. Another unordinary child. Most children would try their hardest to get friends, to be included, and to play games to their hearts content. While the jinchuriki did try to befriend everyone in sight, he didn't try to be included into the other children's games. His pranks were, as far as Itachi had seen, the only playful interaction the boy had with the other children. The jinchuriki was very skilled in pranking, whether that was a good thing or not had yet to be seen._

_The blonde jinchuriki, as he was, hadn't looked up for the duration of Itachi's "Stake Out". He seemed to find more interest in scratching nonsensical patterns in the ground with a stick, perhaps trying to imitate the kanji the boy had seen. If so, they were pretty poor imitations._

_The other children completely ignored the blonde kicking dust over the scratches he made before continuing. Itachi then got an idea. He silently hopped out of his tree before he made the signs for a henge. A poof later a short, brown haired, dull eyed child replaced him. Freckles dotted his cheek bones and nose. He looked about five or maybe six years old. With his new age in mind, he wandered into the children's line of sight._

_One boy with spiky brown hair noticed him first and waved him over._

"_Hey you! Yeah, you. Do you want to play with us?"_

_Itachi shifted 'uneasily' before trotting over to the small group of boys._

_The others in the yard were looking at Itachi before either wandering closer to meet him or going back to what they were doing. The jinchuriki glanced up before going back to his scratching._

_Itachi introduced himself and the others followed suite. A game of ball was quickly established and they began to play, for Itachi this was one of the few times this had happened and couldn't help but enjoy himself. After a short while he began his questioning, the real reason he was there in the first place._

"_Who's that boy over there?" He had asked the group while pointing at the lone jinchuriki, "he looks lonely."_

_The assumed leader of the group looked over to where Itachi was pointing before he replied, "Oh, that's Naruto. Most of the adults don't like him too much, they'll often tell you not to play with him."_

"_Why?" Itachi asked, attempting to make his voice sound as childlike as a possible._

_The boy shrugged, "They say he's a bad influence and dangerous to be around. He isn't that bad, too many pranks maybe, but he hardly acts dangerous. Unlike that evil cat... Anyway, he's just really annoying and stupid. You're not from around here so it's okay you didn't know. Just don't play with him, your Kaa-san might get angry."_

_Itachi tilted his head and eyed Naruto, "He doesn't seem annoying."_

_A kid with broken glasses piped up, "you can't really tell all the time, but you can try talking to him. But he's a little weird, just saying."_

_Itachi made a rather good "confused child" face when he echoed, "weird?"_

"_Uh-huh," a black haired kid nodded, "he talks funny, kinda like how jiji-san did before he died."_

"_He talks like an elder?" Itachi asked in bemusement, from what few interactions he had seen the kid dish out, they hardly seemed like something an elder would say._

"_Eh, sometimes. Other times he is just a retard," a boy with black hair said._

_The proclaimed leader smacked the black haired boy upside the head. "That's a bad word, we don't say it," the boy chided the black haired boy, "Try again."_

_The black haired boy rolled his eyes before saying, "Of course Okaa-san, whatever you say Okaa-san!" Looking over at Itachi he said, "He really can be an idiot though. Like one moment you'll have a super genius and the next you're talking to a complete idiot. Almost like he has that...what do you call it...split personality? Bipolar? Something like that. But you can only really see it up close."_

_A small boy mumbled, "you could try talking to him yourself...you can rejoin the game afterward..."_

"_Hm," Itachi replied before making his way over to Naruto, whom was busily scratching away at the dirt in front of him. The kids didn't know much in the line of facts, not that they should have or that he was expecting them to. But you'd be surprised how much a child knows in the line of perception and observation, adult were also more lax when talking and thinking the kid didn't know what they spoke of._

"_Hello," Itachi said when he came up to the blonde._

_Naruto blinked up at him, "hello, is there something you want?"_

_Kids around the yard glanced over to the pair from time to time before continuing their play and ignoring them._

"_A-ah, no," Itachi stuttered out, trying to keep up a curious kid like persona, "you were all by yourself...so..."_

_Naruto smiled, "do you want to sit?" The blonde patted the ground to the left of him, his stick discarded in front of him._

_Itachi settled down by Naruto with grace that would make a cat green with envy and no notable sound._

_They were quiet for a moment before Naruto chirped happily, "It's nice outside today, isn't it?"_

_Itachi murmured an agreement; the boys he had been playing with resumed their game._

_Naruto tilted his head up, smiling at the sky. Itachi sat silently by the blonde and observed the boy's actions._

_Naruto looked over at Itachi, "you have a question in your eyes."_

_Itachi inwardly started; well there was that perceptive elder talk the boys had mentioned. He nodded to Naruto's question, "why are you alone?"_

_Naruto hummed and seemed to think for a moment before replying, "Because, I have no one to talk with."_

_Naruto's response processed through Itachi's brain, few children talked "with" anyone, most children talked "to" people. Underneath the underneath. Itachi eyed him in interest, "But aren't you lonely by yourself?"_

"_I suppose," Naruto said, "but not as lonely as you."_

_Itachi's eyes snapped to the blue eyes that seemed oh so very old. The blonde smiled gently, and for the first time in a long time, Itachi felt like someone could see him. Someone knew him._

"_I am not alone, how am I lonely?" Itachi asked, perhaps a little, itty bitty, tiny wee bit uncertain._

_Naruto looked back up at the blue sky, wisps of clouds moving lazily across the sky. Naruto sighed, "Loneliness is more complicated then simply being alone. Humans need to be connected in some shape or form. It's a basic need to be filled, to be connected, to care. Perhaps even more basic then food, water, or shelter. While those help your body stay alive, care keeps your spirit alive and healthy. Some don't get that care and lose themselves, they die inside. A person can be surrounded by people, they can be the most popular person in the world, but if they aren't cared for they are no better off being isolated."_

_Itachi waited for Naruto to continue, but the boys didn't seem interested in continuing. Naruto picked up his stick and began scratching the dirt again with indecipherable glyphs._

"_I have a family," Itachi tried prompting._

"_I had a family," the boy responded, making a few flowing marks in the dirt._

"_Is that hard?" Itachi asked, unsatisfied with the response. Kids had a hard time shutting up, and usually gave a lot more information then you needed._

"_It doesn't feel good to lose your family, but you make room to make a new family." Naruto said, kicking the dirt clear of scratch marks._

"_You want to be adopted?" Itachi asked, assuming that's what the boy meant._

"_No," he responded, "that's not the type of family I want."_

_Itachi was confused; the boy seemed to contradict himself._

"_I want to build my family from the precious people I will meet. Those are who my family will be, besides," Naruto said looking up with a grin, "no one would dare adopt the future Hokage in fear that their neighbors would get to jealous of my awesomeness!"_

_Itachi smiled a bit, feeling bad for the ignorant boy. He looked down at the scratch marks the boy was making. "What are you doing?"_

"_Ah, organizing an idea," Naruto said, before kicking the scratches into nothing._

_Itachi didn't know what to make of that so let it be. His blonde partner looked up at the sky with a tired sigh. Naruto watched the fast moving clouds cross the upside down ocean._

"_A storm is coming," Itachi heard Naruto say more to himself then to Itachi._

_Itachi looked up and wondered if the blonde jinchuriki was talking about something more then the weather._

_With a sigh he got up and brushed off his pants, "It's getting late, I have to go home for lunch or else my okaa-san will be angry."_

_Most of the other kids had already gone inside to eat their lunch._

"_See you later Naruto-san," Itachi waved._

_Naruto smiled and waved at his retreating figure, "bye Shinobi-san, hope your Okaa-san doesn't get mad if you're late."_

_Itachi paused and looked over at the blonde. Naruto also got up and was brushing dirt off his shorts._

_Naruto smiled at him and said, "It was fun talking with you, feel free to drop by any time you want."_

_Itachi just stared._

"_Tell Hokage-jiji I said __"hi" i__f he asks. Ah! Better get lunch if I want any! Ja ne!" Naruto dashed into the orphanage._

_What an interesting kid._

* * *

Itachi had been roused from his thinking when he released the sound of skipping boulders couldn't be heard anymore. He looked back down at Naruto, who was cradling something in his hands.

Itachi flowed a bit of chakra to his ears, enhancing them to hear what the blonde was saying.

"-you'll grow to be big and strong. Don't worry what all the others say; even if you can't hop or swim like they do, there are other ways to do it. Why, I remember when Gamakichi lost a leg to that punk Uchiha. May his plans burn in a pit of Amaterasu and angry Senju decedents. He had the worst time moving around, he wasn't a frog like you, he was a toad- is a toad. He was real sad he couldn't move around the way he used to, because he was so used to how he moved. But he learned how to move about. In fact, he learned how to move so fast, he ended up being the fastest toad out there. So just because you were born with a missing leg doesn't give you a free ticket to giving up. The ones that go through the hardest things and make it out are the strongest. So here's what you do. Tilt yourself so you sort of hop at an angle, your back leg should be centered to about…there. You'll gain more muscle, but if you learn how to channel your chakra- er, inner energy into your back leg, you'll be hopping five times the speed of any other frog. Swimming? Ah, try making either your hind leg move up and down like a beaver tale or you could try spiral swimming. It's fast but tiring."

Itachi moved to a higher branch to look down at the frog in Naruto's hands, a small thing that didn't look like it had a chance at surviving. But he wasn't about to interrupt the kid's pep talk. Even if it was aimed at a frog. The question stood as to how the kid knew about the Uchiha's black flames. Someone, he decided, was being lose tongued about clan secrets. Itachi mentally noted to investigate any leaks.

Naruto carefully deposited the three legged frog in the shallows, it's tiny feet hung to the overhanging grass blades. It croaked a little before hopping into the water.

Naruto smiled and knelt down beside it, "Yeah, see you later Harachan. Keep an eye on the place while I'm gone, I'm expecting you to dominate the stream by the time I come back."

The frog gave a out a confirmed croak before leaping into the creek's cool waters. Naruto knelt at the water's edge for a good minutes before he said, "Is there something you want, Shinobi-san?"

Itachi leaped down beside Naruto, coming face to face in his true form for the first time. Naruto tilted his head up to look at Itachi, a smile firmly in place.

"Naruto-kun," Itachi said in a monotone.

Naruto sat back on his haunches and patted the forest floor beside him, "you want to know something."

Itachi sat beside the boy, a little perturbed that he was so easily read. He did want to know something, and it wasn't just the answer to the blonde enigma.

They sat quietly, the only sounds were the creek's trickling waters, the soft breeze gently caressing the leaves, and the comforting symphony of the songbirds. The sun dappled the forest floor, shifting and changing like a kaleidoscope when the wind made the leaves dance. The cool smell of earth and clean water when one inhaled, delicately enhanced by the wildflowers. And for a moment, all Itachi could feel was the serenity of nature untainted by the problems of man.

Itachi looked over at Konoha's jinchuriki, his eyes were closed and a small smile rested on the blonde's face. Breeze brushing by his sunlight like hair. Itachi closed his eyes, a peaceful smile making its way onto his own tired features. Perhaps Itachi would never understand the jinchuriki, but that was alright. Few stopped to feel the world around them, not just the pained experiences...but the beauty, the feeling of being alive. For that, he too let himself stop, because someone else knew.


	7. Chapter 6

**Esparia: ****Hey guys, here's the original chapter five that was replaced by Itachi's special.**

**Itachi: *closes "The Art of Peace"* ...I'm curious to see what your planning for me.**

**Esparia: Not telling.**

**Itachi: *stands up* Just don't do anything creepy. *walks out door***

**Esparia: Okay...I guess...what does he consider creepy? I mean the dude was comrades with a few loose screws.**

**Sasuke: *opens door smiling***

**Esparia: No.**

**Sasuke: I didn't even say anything.**

**Esparia: Everyone know that when Uchiha Sasuke smiles, doom and destruction are sure to follow.**

**Sasuke: It does not.**

**Disclaimer: ****Esparia owns very few things. The Naruto franchise is not one of them. Peace! *holds up peace sign and walks away***

**Doom: Yo, readers. Waz up?**

**Destruction: Oxygen, Carbon gases...stars?**

**Esparia: *raises eyebrow* You were saying Sasuke?**

**Sasuke: ...**

Chapter Six

Friends in Odd Places

June 11th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Kurama and I have an interesting relationship. Kurama never remembers past Timelines, not a big surprise really if you consider some things, but once I bring him up to speed he's a fairly tolerable fox...chakra...thing. Sometimes we will get along great, other times he's stuck hating mankind until I switch.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Naruto was lying down outside the orphanage looking up at the paling sky. It was early morning, and light clouds were just visible in the morning light. The green grass was tickling his back.

He was contemplating things any other four year old would never dream of thinking. Not because it was gruesome, hardly, more then anything it was boring nonsense they usually left to adults. Such as trying to recall where the best deals on rice were, or what times the indifferent worker had his shifts at. Planning ways to pay the overpriced bills on rent and trying to remember where the nice old lady lived before she died. It was those sort of things he was thinking about that would make any Yamanaka trying to get into his mind cry in boredom. It was that bad.

He was turning five soon, and it was around this time he usually got kicked out and sent to his own apartment. Some imbecile (that wasn't himself) always ended up burning a good chunk of the kitchen down. So being a stacked amount of accounts about his "destructive nature" he was seen to be a danger to the other kids and moved to another location. From what he could tell the Sandaime was pressured into the decision early, but Naruto was pretty sure the relocation was just as much meant for his safety as it was for the facility's.

However Naruto had a problem, he couldn't remember where the nice old lady that gave him bread lived. He would need the extra food, because the social worker that would be in charge of his money was a jerk with no moral code against keeping an orphaned jinchuriki's money. A social worker that the Hokage chose took care of his finances up until he was old enough to learn (and got good enough at doing) simple mathematics. He would be eight when he was fully in charge of his groceries and toiletries, and ten when he started doing the rent.

Needless to say, he wasn't awful at math even in the first Timeline. Though when he showed signs of exceeding the standards in mathematics in the second Timeline, his grades were unfairly weighted and changed to the point it was impossible to get a good grade unless he aced it. They even went so far as to give him, technically an academy student, math tests with problems you would only be able to solve if he took civilian advanced mathematics, such as Algebra. Not about to be played, he played the teachers by studying higher forms of math to destroy their tests. He had a little too much fun pulling their legs in the second Timeline and ended up being considered a high level threat to the village when he was correctly answering Calculus and Analysis questions. He was 'too smart'. That was a pain to deal with so he just decided to avoid it every other time, going as far as to play the deadlast, like his first Timeline, but even worse then he was originally. Sure he had had the worst grades in Timeline one, but he wasn't exactly stupid. He just didn't get the chances others got and he was preoccupied on getting extra money for food and coupon clipping like an old lady. Not that anyone would tutor him until Iruka got on good enough terms with him. Timeline two would've had him on the top of the class, but everyone trusted him even less at that point…even Iruka-sensei. But act the idiot even more, not that his grades would matter in saving the world anyway, and then suddenly everyone thinks they can pull things over on you. They feel confident, powerful. People liked feeling powerful, it was just something that made them feel safe. And if they felt safe around him enough to pull things over the monster, he was happy that they were reassured enough that they were safe. If they never saw what a true monster was, then he would be thankful that they would be able to live in peace. Peace where only he, someone who wouldn't harm them, was the only monster.

It was then he heard a big boom.

Naruto lazily watched smoke float across the sky, "Well it looks like the chicken spontaneously combusted and blew up half the kitchen. I wonder if I'll be blamed for that."

"NARUTO!" An enraged voice screamed from the kitchen.

Naruto tilted his head, "I think that might be a yes."

Naruto hopped up from his spot on the grass and ran toward his room, where he was when it first happened in the first Timeline. It was there that the staff marched into his room and pulled him out. He hung limp as they dragged him away to the Hokage's office, some staff following. Dragging a boy brought attention from the people in the streets, especially since the kid was the Kyuubi no jinchuriki. A mob slowly began to form, many had already seen or heard the small explosion. He saw Emiko run out of the orphanage and make eye contact just as he was swallowed up by the crowed.

* * *

Sarutobi was happily finishing the last paper that was once part of the White Tower of Despair and Doom. With a flourish he signed his name, stamped it, and set it on top of the White Tower of Joy and Freedom. Ah yes, now he could finally read that book Jiraiya sent him.

"Tak-tak-tak," came an annoying sound from his office door.

Sarutobi frowned and slid the book back in the bottom drawer. "Yes, come in."

"Hokage-sama! A mob outside requests permission to see you," a chunin said.

"Did they say what about?" he asked, but internally thought, _'why must it be today? I just want to read. Why world? Why?"_

"Eh, it's about Uzumaki Naruto," the chunin said.

"Let three through, I'm afraid I can't fit a mob in my office," he said, pulling out his pipe and casually lit it.

"Hai Hokage-sama!" the chunin exclaimed and bowed before scurrying out of his office.

"Why today, Naruto-kun? Why today?" he bemoaned under his breath.

Two of the orphanage's people, the head caretaker and the cook came in with a firm grip on a small boy. The boy seemed grumpy about being hauled by the imposing women but other then that, unconcerned.

"Hokage-sama! We request that this boy be relocated. He is a menace to the orphanage, has repeatedly destroyed and contaminated our food, he has harassed the other children and workers repetitively," the head caretaker growled, "he just finished blowing our kitchen to smithereens."

"So that's what the mushroom cloud was about," an ANBU whispered to himself, which only the Hokage, Naruto, and a startled cricket heard.

The Hokage was about to tell the women that he was not going to move Naruto, until he was of the right age when another woman burst into the room.

"Emiko-chan," the caretaker said in surprise, "why aren't you with the children?"

Emiko shifted her feet, "because…because this one needs me more."

"What," the head caretaker growled.

Emiko flinched, "The others are being taken care of by Riki-san, and I'm not really needed there."

The caretaker raised an eyebrow at the young girl. Her displeasure at her was evident in her eyes. The caretaker had been keeping an eye on the girl ever since she had started showing signs of kindness to the demon brat. She was sure that the brat had managed to contaminate the poor thing's mind. It wasn't Emiko's fault that she was defending _it_. No, it was certainly not her fault for being put under some form of mind control.

Emiko sighed, "Naruto-kun isn't at fault for the explosion. It was mine. You don't need to move him, Hokage-sama."

"Oh?" Sarutobi said, looking between the four people in front of his desk.

Naruto shifted his weight, his arms were losing feeling from bad blood flow. Why was Emiko sticking her neck out for him _now_, he needed to be on his own.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Emiko said.

Naruto huffed, he didn't like being blamed for things he didn't do. But out of all the times, this one was important to be blamed on him. How else is he supposed to get out of that place early? He didn't do all those pranks for nothing.

"Naruto-kun?" The Hokage prodded, startling Naruto out of his thoughts.

"Hmph, did you know that frozen chicken explodes when you cook it in boiling oil?" Naruto asked, of course he wasn't the one to do it, and he never claimed he did, but good old Jiji would assume it was him…hopefully.

Sarutobi blinked, "no I didn't. I wonder why that is."

Naruto tilted his head, "I think it has something to do with rapidly expanding water molecules."

The cook looked at her Hokage than at the _thing_.

Naruto hummed, "yeah, water particles."

Emiko shifted her weight, unsure of the situation before her.

The Hokage noticed and tapped out his pipe before folding his hands. He looked at the two angry women, the nervous girl, and the tricky jinchuriki. He sighed before saying, "I would like to talk to Naruto-kun alone."

The three females bowed and left the room.

The door closed and Sarutobi looked down at the hyperactive blonde, "…Naruto-kun."

"Jiji," Naruto replied with a grin.

Sarutobi pinched the bridge of his nose, "Did you really set the kitchen on fire?"

"I've set it on fire," he replied bobbing his head, and notably avoiding the real question. Granted he wasn't lying about setting it on fire, it just wasn't like he set anything on fire this Timeline. Well, his fire manipulation never was the best.

"But not this time specifically. You're willing to take the blame, this time, for something you didn't do," the Sandaime said.

"Yep," Naruto chirped happily, letting his attempt at dodging the old man's words go.

**((Esparia: Letting it go... *idea* Let it go, let it- Sasuke: NO! *attacks with duct tape* Esparia: Weh eh guuuh. Sasuke: *drags Esparia into closet* Esparia: Cah ho eh bach anah mooooh! Sasuke: *locks closet door and walks away* Esparia: ...ah, Saskah. Ooh no fuhn. Sasuke: *looks at reader* There, I saved your pathetic beings from the horrors of an overly popular Disney song. Stinking author writing in the middle of the night...))**

He sighed, he was doing that a lot ever since Naruto came into the picture. Sarutobi knew that as Hokage he had to assess and solve the issues that came to him fairly and justly. Now normally the problem was all the lies spewed at him. Naruto never was one to lie to him, he apparently knew how awful his lying skills were or that they wouldn't get him anywhere. But the boy almost always put up a fight when being dragged before him.

"Why are you willing to take the blame, Naruto-kun?" He asked.

Naruto put on a thinking face before smiling and said confidently, " 'cause Caretaker-san wants me to go away."

"Naruto-kun…I'm sure she doesn't mean that she wants you to go away, she is just stressed with your pranks." Sarutobi said.

Naruto pouted, "But I want to leave."

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "I wanna live on my own, they mean there. Not Emiko-san, she is nice. But no one really wants me there, me neither."

He looked over his shoulder to the door and then stage whispered, "the food is icky too."

"Oh Naruto-kun," Sarutobi said with a sad note in his voice.

"Please, Jiji-tama!" Naruto jumped up on the Hokage's desk, "I really, really, _really _want to live on my own."

"Let me talk to someone first, Naruto-kun. Could you wait outside my door for a moment," Sarutobi asked.

"Mmm-Hmm," Naruto dashed out of the room and shut the door with a bang.

"Itachi-san," the Hokage said to the empty room.

A shadowy figure stepped into being, "Hokage-sama?"

"What do think of Naruto living in an apartment by himself?" he asked the young man.

"Hokage-sama?"

"You've been keeping an eye on him, have you not?" the old man said.

"I have," Itachi said, "he seems at ease when left alone. He isn't troubled by others' reactions and responses to him. He understands a great deal of what is told to him. Over all, he is a very independent and caring child."

"Isn't troubled you say," Sarutobi murmured under his breath.

* * *

Naruto sat across from the two women that took him in to see Jiji, and sat next to Emiko, who was probably going to lose her job after the stunt she just pulled.

Naruto was fairly sure that his status as lone wolf bachelor was guaranteed to be renewed in this Timeline. Not that he didn't like the married life, hardly, he rather enjoyed it those few years. _'But it's not like I could marry her again without feeling like a sugar daddy or a cradle robber,' _Naruto shivered, _'Bad thoughts, moving on.'_

No, he would live the rest of his life/lives as a bachelor. Living alone in a world was better then living with remade friends in a world destined to be destroyed. Heh, then again he wasn't truly alone, but his company wasn't exactly what one would call normal. Then again, who was normal? Speaking of not so normal friends, he had one to remake.

Naruto closed his eyes and began to wander his mindscape, _'Sewers, why does it always go back to sewers when I slip back?'_

Naruto sloshed through the murky water, humming a little ditty the fox once taught him. Apparently Hagoromo, when he first split them into the nine little beasties, sung them to sleep at night. Can you imagine how cute it was to have nine big intimidating babies fall asleep around you as you sung? Apparently being good with kids was genetic, although he doubted those genes were passed down to the Uchiha clan.

By the time Naruto got to Kurama's cage, soft snores were echoing the halls of his mind.

"_Wakey, Wakey, Kurama-kun," _he said. His voice disturbed the fox slightly, who rolled over with a slosh of sewer water muttering, _"Five more minutes, touchyan."_

* * *

"Daddy? That's different," Naruto snickered in the outside world, gaining some worried looks from the three women watching him "meditate".

"Do you think he's okay?" whispered one of the women.

Emiko shook her head, "he's probably just dreaming. Perhaps of having a father?"

The other women shrugged their shoulders, they didn't really care so much for the jinchuriki.

* * *

"_Come now, Kurama-kun," _Naruto said, _"Don't you want to meet your new jinchuriki?"_

Kurama huffed, still half asleep, _"No. I wanna sleep."_

"_Come on you lazy fox, don't keep your new jinchuriki waiting," _Naruto nudged the fox with his consciousness.

Kurama startled awake at the foreign presence that prodded his chakra. He found what appeared to be a short yellow-haired human that fell in the range of about five to twenty. Kurama never was the best at judging human age, but this human seemed to be emitting confusing mental self images, so who could blame him?

The giant fox looked down at the short human kid, realizing it was his new jinchuriki he decided he'd try to scare it. Humans were so much fun to scare. _**"So my warden decided to visit his prisoner," **_he growled, adding his telepathic voice to his own, making him sound louder and more haunting.

"_Something like that," _The kid yawned, the human had the audacity to yawn before him? The great Kyuubi no Kitsune? Something was wrong with this world, as Kurama contemplated the odd human in front of him Naruto continued, _"more like reestablishing some things before the world gets too chaotic."_

"_**What do you mean by this,"**_ the giant fox questioned. The human, Kurama decided, was a crazy one, not so much as a cringe in fear from the massive amount of Killing Intent he was radiating. Something was obviously wrong with the thing's psyche. Tch, he hadn't even done anything to it yet.

"_I, my dear Cotton Tails, am in the process of saving the world from an unfortunate demise," _Naruto said,_ "I have managed to get myself into a position that's been making me repeat my life a few times now. I've come from varies futures and need your help."_

Kurama thought over what the boy said before he replied,_** "I am assuming that since you have the audacity to walk up to me, the giant fox demon-"**_

"_Which you aren't," _Naruto interrupted.

"_**Little human says what?" **_Kurama looked down at the human. It wasn't natural, he decided, for such a small thing to not assume him to be an evil incarnate monster.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders, _"you're just a biju."_

"_Just a biju," _Kurama repeated dumbly, his telepathic echo completely faded away. Yep, his new jinchuriki was not right in the head, _"human-kit, even if you were from a future. Which I seriously doubt because your sanity is obviously damaged. What on this wretched earth could have possibly made you think of me, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, as _just_ a biju."_

"_Try thinking along the lines of a rampaging juubi under a certain Uchiha's control destroying the world, a plant man trying to revive his mother after she was sealed away from the world so she didn't destroy it, the biju my closest allies, all mankind fighting for their lives and futures and you'll get my train of thought," _Naruto said.

"_Ha-ha, your so funny. Me, the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the nine-tailed chakra beast, most powerful of the biju, and a natural disaster, siding with the humans?" _Kurama rolled his eyes, _"I hate all of humanity, yourself included…although I'm finding that I'm pitying you more than hate. Poor pathetic thing, how unfortunate I'd be stuck with an already mentally unstable human jinchuriki."_

"_Hmm, yeah, can't blame you for being unhappy as a tool or caged for that matter. Took a while, but we came to a sort of symbiotic relationship," _Naruto said, then paused, _"Seems someone needs my attention in the outside world, we'll talk more later. Ja ne, Kurama-kun."_

Naruto's conscious disappeared from his mindscape, leaving behind a stupefied giant fox, _"Human-kit knows my name."_

* * *

Naruto was woken up and brought back into the Hokage's office. He got a few looks from the two older women and a soft smile from Emiko. He could only hope for the best.

"Naruto-kun," the Hokage said, "I have discussed this with several people that have been watching over you. We have decided to move you to a secluded apartment. I will send shinobi on a regular basis to check up on you, and with your caretaker's permission, I am reinstating Shinai Emiko as a personal caretaker. Whom would be in charge of buying your basic needs and teaching you how to care for yourself. Is this agreeable?"

"Hai! Hokage-jiji," Naruto said, bouncing on the tips of his toes.

And thus, part one of Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto's plan for world domination- world salvation, was completed.

* * *

**Director: Good show guys, keep it up and we'll be done before you know it.**

**Sasuke: Escape? Mwahaha...**

**Naruto: Don't do that in public.**

**Cast and Crew: *leaves room***

**Random Crew Member: *turns off lights and locks door***

**Esparia: *in locked closet* ...Guhs? Hawoh? Hawoooh? *sighs* Stupeh Uhiwa. *looks at readers* Rehvoo an fohwoah...an fighn a keh tah opeh tah dooh. **


	8. Chapter 7

**Esparia: *sitting in closet* ****I wrote this…during finals. That has to count for something.**

**RCM: *trying to pick the closet's lock* Does it?**

**Esparia: No****, not really.**

**RCM: Oh… *eyes lock angrily***

**Esparia: Okay...****Disclaimer! You're up.**

**Disclaimer: ****Esparia does not own the Naruto franchise, nor it's concepts. She does, however, own her imagination that created this…along with whatever crazy theories she has come up with.**

* * *

Chapter Seven

An Unbirthday Birthday

(Part One)

July 2nd, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Perhaps one of the most frustrating things about going back in time is that you know things. You know how to do things that you shouldn't. You have knowledge that doesn't exist yet. You know what a person is going to do before they do themselves. You're alone in this knowing, and you can't help but be lonely and miss the people you grew close to in previous Timelines...but you also have new people. People that are just as precious.

Time travel, don't slip up else you look like a fool. Facts change and if you know things you aren't supposed to, well ninja villages don't take kindly to spies.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Naruto hummed softly as he made his bed, smoothing his goldenrod comforter and white sheets he paused. His blue eyes that had seen more then an outsider would believe, looked up out his bedroom's single window. The Hokage Monument's four face stared across the village with a cool detachment. Naruto couldn't help but feel the absence of the Godaime and Rokudaime's faces. He hummed a note to himself before returning to his cleaning. It had been about eight months since he had gotten his apartment back and he was being taught how to live independently. It was surprisingly Emiko who saw to him, not to say he didn't like it. He actually enjoyed Emiko's presence. However she had gotten the unused apartment beneath his and wasn't afraid to visit his whenever she felt like it.

She had taught him recipes so he would be able to make food for himself and that were healthy for his growing body. He had learned some of the recipes she taught him from Hinata, when Hinata was either his wife or close comrade. Emiko, however, did teach him some new ones that didn't require a stove to make. Emiko was set on not allowing him near the hotplate. She had taught him some cleaning and hygiene tips, that only a guardian of many children would know. She had taught him how to sew and mend his clothes, which would prove to be invaluable in the future.

With Emiko's help and lessons, Naruto learned more in cooking and general house maintenance then he had all his lives combined. Naruto planned on dropping by the library and getting a cookbook once he was able to make a long lasting henge. His chakra was no longer under good enough control where he could hold a henge for more then fifteen minutes. Which was pretty pathetic in comparison to his record year long henge in the second Timeline.

This lack of control was something Naruto was hastily working to correct. He hadn't been able to work with his chakra at the orphanage since there were too many prying eyes and loose tongued children. Since chakra usage was out of the question, he stuck to fixing his motor skills, coordination, dexterity, and fuuinjutsu script. Itachi had actually caught him working on a new seal that allowed the user to hear and translate the animal languages, sadly one could only understand what was being said. He had yet to figure out how to respond without using his entire body for the body language words, perhaps a telepathic image would work. However today, he was working on an older project. One that would be the epitome of awesome.

Naruto fluffed up his single pillow before tossing it back on his bed. With a sigh, he sat down on the floor. He reached under the bed for an empty scroll and brush. He leaned up into his bedside drawer and pulled out a sumi and pestle. With a small chakra flare he made a light genjutsu in case anyone looked through his windows or were listening in. With that in place he set to work.

Naruto ground and crushed part of the sumi until a small amount of fine black powder was at the bottom of the pestle. He lightly tapped at the side of the small bowl, bringing the larger pieces to the top. He then continued to grind the powder with practiced ease. Content with the black powder's consistency, he brought it into his small bathroom. He turned the tap on until a small dribble of water was flowing. Adding the right amount of water to the powder, he flipped the tap off.

He walked back into his room, gently stirring the ink. It wasn't by any means the best ink out there, but hey who was he to complain about free sumi sticks? That impatient apprentice gaka certainly was eager to rid himself of it, but throwing it out the window was a little extreme.

Naruto unfurled his scroll and smoothed it with a few heavy things to keep the scroll from furling. He dipped his brush into the black substance before precisely tapping out the excess liquid. Brush poised above paper he breathed in before releasing it. Then he furiously got to work on one of the most complicated designs created by man, a fuuinjutsu master would gawk and possible have a minor stroke at the level of mastery.

A few hours later he grinned, "At last, my ultimate masterpiece is complete! Let the world tremble at my awe inspiring fuuinjutsu skills, mwaha-mwahahaha! Fear me world, for you are about to meet your waterloo against my creation!"

A knocking came from his front door, "Naruto-kun? You awake yet?"

Naruto's eyes widened as he glanced out his window. The sun's rays were slowly receding to the horizon. Emiko had put him down for a nap, which was apparently a normal routine for children his age, but had decided to use that time productively instead of sleeping. Naruto hastily slid his supplies under his bed before walking to the kitchen.

Naruto unlocked the door for Emiko, but after checking the chakra signature. He opened the door smiling, Emiko's softly returning his smile.

"I'm awake," he chirped.

"Good," Emiko said, hefting a bag in her arms, "I just got back from shopping and picked up some things to make koorizatou."

"Rock...candy?" Naruto echoed in confusion, doubt flickering in his eyes. He had never heard of such a strange thing. "Rock Candy", did it have rocks in it or what? But he couldn't help wondering if it was any good, since Emiko seemed excited about it. Though if it had dirt in it, he would not bring himself to once again eat the earth.

Emiko began heating up the water on the hotplate, while she busied herself by pulling out the things she bought from her bag.

Naruto watched her move around his kitchen with fascination, her movements direct and precise. One would almost think she was a ninja, if it wasn't for her civilian mannerisms radiating from her. He recognized some of the things she had like the sugar, the thread, and jam jars. He didn't know what she planned on doing with them, but he could easily think up several sticky situations he could make with them.

While he was musing on a few new pranks, Emiko glared at the water on the hotplate. After a short while Emiko gave up on it and sighed, "Your hotplate is broken. I'm going to go downstairs to get mine."

Emiko flipped it's switch off and walked to the door, she paused before exiting and gave a pointed look at Naruto, "Do not touch that hotplate, it will burn you. Understand?"

Naruto nodded quickly and waited for Emiko's footsteps to fade before going to the warm hotplate. Emiko said it was broken, but he remembered having that hotplate for most of his time living in the apartment. Though if it was broken, it sure explained why he could never get something to a boil. Naruto scrutinized the faulty kitchen appliance before turning the plate back one. He channeled some of his chakra into his hand, which soon began to faintly glow light baby blue. Satisfied with the amount he focused on it's pattern and began manipulating it until it turned into a bright indigo.

Naruto had discovered some very interesting things concerning chakra, the ever mysterious energy force. He had discovered how to imitate other forms of chakra and change his own to match a form of it. As example with his now indigo chakra, that imitated the electricity in cables and lightning in the natural world. Suffice to say, he found this on accident. He had been experimenting with chakra; not a good idea by any stretch of the mind, especially when you take into account all the things that could go wrong and who's idea it was. He found what he was looking for when he started, but with effects he hadn't known existed. Originally he was trying to change his chakra's color; why he wanted to do that? Honestly, who wouldn't want to look like they were leaking Kyuubi chakra and scare the living daylights out of your persistently tardy sensei? Ho-ho, did he enjoy watching Kakashi's face...1/4 of his face...panic. Those six days in solitary confinement were worth it; however rebuilding the desecrated bridge under Yamato's supervision was the deciding factor to never do it again. Fire chakra burned things, who knew?

And although red chakra, or more specifically, fire nature chakra was helpful in cooking, light, demolishing bridges, and scaring a tardy jounin sensei; Naruto found it was difficult for him to completely control. With his large reserve of chakra inclined to wind coupled with Kurama's natural fire chakra, the fire could, and often did, get easily out of hand if not watched over. Too much fire was dangerous to his and others' health, and he only recently mastered. May the 3rdTimeline's orphanage rest in pieces.

But he wasn't using fire based chakra here, he was using lightning. An equally powerful and dangerous force to reckon with, but fortunately for everyone around him, it was easier for him to control.

Naruto ran his electricity type chakra through the wires of the hotplate, with his eyes closed he could picture the electrical pathways or wires. He came to a wire not properly screwed on, making his chakra having to jump and disperse. Definitely a fire hazard, it was amazing that his apartment hadn't had any unfortunate fire accidents during any of the Timelines. Naruto drew in the excess energy from the hotplate, making the thing cool instantly. He would fix the wires later that night, it had been a while since he tinkered with things. His chakra returned to it's light blue before fading from existence.

And not a moment later, he heard a knock. Naruto let out a soft sigh and made his way back to the door, ready to let Emiko in. He paused, it wasn't Emiko's chakra behind the door. His eyes narrowed, it was too controlled, sharp and precise, didn't waste itself in unnecessary fluxes. It was a ninja. One he wasn't overly familiar with, but enough to push at his memory. Whether the ninja was an enemy or not was yet to be seen.

Naruto fingered a senbon in his sleeve, prepared for the worst case scenarios. He grinned and flung the door open. With blue eyes closed to almost squints, his smile grew at the sight of a familiar face.

"Oji-san!" he greeted the jounin, whose respectability was still tainted by his chunin self's misunderstanding.

"Hello," he smiled down at the blonde.

Naruto grinned and moved off to the side to let the man in, discreetly readjusting his senbon under his sweater.

Nobuo, the rather maternal shinobi, looked around his small kitchen space before asking, "Is Emiko-san here?"

Naruto's lips twitched towards a smirk before returning to his usual smile, "she's downstairs getting her hotplate. We're making koorizatou."

"Oh? That'll be fun, I used to do that as a boy," Nobuo said to Naruto, who was ironically and technically older then him.

Naruto hadn't seen much of the jounin, between Nobuo having his own life and his semi-secluded living conditions. But he could see a friendship growing between his two new friends, which pleased him. Naruto was never against making new friends, even if the new friends were once enemies. Emiko wasn't an enemy per se, but she certainly didn't like him in the other Timelines. He didn't remember Nobuo from the other Timelines until he mentioned his name. He then remembered going through the KIA lists, to see who could potentially be a zombie soldier. He was KIA two years after his birth, a newly made jounin checking on a disturbance on the border with Rain as his first solo mission. It was believed a nuke-nin killed him, but it was never confirmed.

Emiko walked in and saw the young jounin, she smiled and said, "Hello Nobuo-san, what brings you here?"

"Oji-san is making koorizatou with us!" Naruto exclaimed happily, with a wide grin stretching across his face.

"E-ee?" Nobuo looked down at the conspiring child, not that he could see the plotting going on behind Naruto's mostly innocent face.

"Really?" Emiko asked, looking at Nobuo.

"If that's alright," he responded hesitantly.

"The more the merrier," Emiko said, her tone shifting a bit with her happiness.

This seemed to relieve the shinobi's nerves, and the two began setting up what they were going to be using. Naruto watched them bring the water to a boil before removing it from the heat. They made measurements and carefully poured one cup (236 ml) of water into a jar and told him to pour three cups (710 ml) of sugar into the hot water, stirring a little to completely dissolve it. Emiko wetting a wool string and told him to cover it in sugar. He carefully did that and looked up at her expectantly.

Emiko face palmed, "I forgot a stick. Naruto-kun, do you have any extra chopsticks or pencils we can tie the string on?"

Naruto thought for a moment before shaking his head. He had only one set of chopsticks that weren't disposable and he couldn't use his paintbrush.

Nobuo took out a senbon needle and handed it to Emiko, "would this work?"

Emiko looked at it doubtfully for a moment before taking it. She examined the tips before pulling out a lopper from her bag.

Nobuo's and Naruto's eyes widened at the hedge trimmer that easily snapped off the ends of the senbon. Neither asked why she had a lopper in her bag.

She handed the mutilated senbon to Naruto, who took it and tied the end of the string to it.

Nobuo handed a paperclip to Naruto, "tie it to the other end, it'll help weigh the string down."

Naruto tied the paperclip, he carefully dropped the string and sinker into the hot sugar water, broken senbon resting on the top of the jar and string not touching the bottom.

He smiled at the two in contentment, it brought back a few good memories he had with Hinata. He shook his head and banished the thoughts from his head, his mood seemed to drop whenever he was pulled into the past. He couldn't have that happening when there were two perceptive people in the room watching him, or not watching him. They're eyes often strayed to each other.

Naruto coughed a bit to gain their attention, "How long 'til the candy is ready?"

Emiko and Nobuo looked each other before looking back at Naruto and saying, "About a week./One week should do it."

Naruto made a face, an entire week was a long wait for candy. The two smiled at his childish impatience, kids and their candy. Naruto then thought of something and tilted his head to Nobuo.

"Nobuo-oji, why did you come here?" Naruto asked.

The jounin's eyes widened, "that's right, I was here to tell you," Nobuo looked at Emiko, "needed to bring Naruto-chan to the Hokage tomorrow."

"Oi!" Naruto yelled, not liking suffix on his name.

"Oh, alright, thank you Nobuo-san," Emiko said.

"No problem, well, I better be off. Those missions won't do themselves. Ja ne." Nobuo said, with a wave he left the apartment.

"Bye," Naruto and Emiko chorused.

Naruto yawned before snapping his mouth shut to look up at Emiko, who was looking at him and said those oh so dreaded words, "Bath time, Naruto-kun. Then it's straight off to bed with you."

"Ah," he whined a bit, both because Emiko had gotten strangely sisterly towards him and insisted on helping him with every thing; and because he was used to pulling all-nighters most Timelines, the concept was nearly nonexistent in his mind. Bed time, bah!

She picked him up and dropped him in the bathroom. She ran the water and added the bubble mix. She tested the water before giving it her approval.

When she first started taking care of him, he had been confused what the bubbles were for. There were so many he was sure he was going to drown in them. Death by bubbles would be the saddest death he'd have, maybe not so much if the bubbles were the angry chakra bubbles of doom from Kurama or Saiken's acidic bubbles; but a soapy bubble death? How pathetic of the once Hokage. They smelled nice though, so he didn't complain...much.

After he was properly bathed, which was going to become an awkward memory when he got older and higher brain development took it's turn. He was dressed in his pajamas and sent off to bed. Emiko sang a little to him while rubbing his back, and he soon slipped off into the land of dreams; but not before thinking that maybe that this was what it would've been like to start off with a family.

* * *

Naruto bounded down his mindscape, he was waiting for Old Man Hokage to let him in, Emiko had dropped him off at the tower and went to return a book she borrowed from the library. While he waited for his Jiji to call him in, he decided to visit his mind. As strange as it sounded, he felt there was something important he was missing about the day. He couldn't quite figure out what it was, but it must've been important.

He cracked open a sealed door and peaked inside. It held all the memories from the First Timeline. Finding nothing he moved onto the other sealed doors, he continued to find nothing until he reached the eighth consecutive door. He didn't recognize it, and it wasn't sealed like his past six Timeline memories. He walked inside and looked around the bare room, he definitely didn't remember the room. It had a three desk against each adjacent wall, though they faced towards the middle of the room. A seventh desk faced him from the opposite wall. He glanced around suspiciously, he had a feeling he knew what the room's purpose was but he couldn't be sure.

He took a calming breath in, not that one could really breathe in a mindscape but it's the idea, and made his way to the opposite desk. He sat down and instantly the remaining six desks were filled with his doppelgangers. Each a varying age, ranging from his six year old self to his twenty-three year old self. Their apparel and appearance were all different, along with their general attitudes.

He said, looking about the room,_"so I take it that this is a room to specifically sort out all the Timelines and memories?"_

The other Narutos looked at each other before nodding.

He sighed, _"Any idea why this came up now? It would've been helpful in the other Timelines."_

His twenty three year old self twisted his wedding ring in thought before he said, _"I think all of my- our past Timelines were learning Timelines. Humans aren't perfect in any sense, we would mess up too much if we were given just one shot at fixing it. We didn't have any past experience with Time Travel-"_

"_Who does," _sniped his twelve year old self, massaging his left wrist,_"it wasn't like we knew what would happen if we changed things beyond our sight. It wasn't like we could ask around anyway, no one Time Travels and you all know how well it is to warn people."_

"_Well," _a thin and sickly version of himself quietly said, _"I learned not to mess to heavily, didn't we?"_

"_But if I don't mess with the Timeline, it'll end up like the original," _a nineteen year old battle scarred version of himself said, fingering a hole in his bloody armor.

"_We did pretty well before botching your Timeline, though we can't leave any threat not taken care of," _the sixteen year old said shuddering. His hand slid to his abdomen unconsciously.

"_But why now? We could've gotten things sorted out much faster if we could have done this earlier," _Naruto said, his seventh Timeline body fluctuating to different ages as each one talked.

No one spoke, since no one knew why they had such a room in their head. There was a heavy pause in conversation.

"_...I turned 100 today!" _The six year old Naruto exclaimed, happily breaking the silence to add his share to the discussion.

"_Well...there is that, " _the nineteen year old said, _"Happy 100__th__ Birthday Naruto."_

"_Happy Birthday to you too, Naruto," _his six year old self replied, wiping a bloody mark on his forehead like one would wipe away sweat.

"_Triple digits, huh," _a small smile made its way onto the sixteen year old Naruto.

"_I could've been a great-grandpa by now..." _his oldest self whispered, a mournful smile on his face.

"_Tch, who cares," _grumbled his gloomy twelve year old self, _"not like we have anything to show for our age."_

The pale Naruto dressed in a Root uniform glanced up, _"Someone's trying to wake us up, old man."_

"_You're insulting yourself," _grumbled the five year old Naruto, before closing his eyes and disappearing from his mindscape along with his split memories.

The Kurama sat in his cell in shock, having heard the whole thing echo through the human's mind. Shaking his head he chucked, _"That kit has issues."_

* * *

**RCM: I give up, I can't pick locks. You're on your own Esparia.**

**Esparia: Stupid Random Crew Member.**

**Naruto: So you're in a closet?**

**Esparia: …**

**Naruto: …**

**Esparia: ...What do you think?**

**Naruto: ...yes?**

**Esparia: Correct.**

**Naruto: Why is there rock candy sitting by the door.**

**Esparia: Pass me some through the crack.**

**Naruto: *shoves rock candy under closet door***

**Esparia: Hmm, *nibbles rock candy*, you know "koorizatou" more literally means ice sugar. But it's kanji is something along the lines of "freeze (koori) -sand (za/sa)-sugar (tou)" I thought about making a crack at the "ice sugar" but then no one would get it without explanation.**

**Naruto: *ignores readers and writer to consume large amounts of mass produced rock candy***

**Esparia: I guess that's it. See ya later folks! *salutes and goes back to eating rock candy***

**(Extra Note: If you've been following this story for a while now, you might not have understood the last scene too well. I have shortened and mathematically fixed the first chapter and prologue journal entries.)**


	9. Chapter 8

**Esparia: *still sitting in closet* Well this 100****th**** Birthday thing had to be split up, which was annoying. But oh well, you get to see some Chibi!Sasuke action in here. Since I can't have it be too short...**

**Sasuke: *glances around nervously***

**Itachi: *picks up Sasuke by his shirt collar***

**Sasuke: AH!**

**Itachi: Come now otouto, there is a De-ageing Machine in the back room with your name on it.**

**Sasuke: Let me down! Release me!**

**Itachi: If I have to do it, you have to do it too.**

**Sasuke: *get's dragged away screaming* Help! *looks at readers* Don't let them take-**

***door slams shut***

**Disclaimer: Oookay, hello humans and not human. I am the disclaimer here to tell you that Esparia does not own the cast unless they are OCs, and Esparia does not own the fandom's world. Simply using it for your entertainment and as a means to create a story. Esparia does not own this website, nor does Esparia own the comment option below. Which and where _you, _dear readers, can review to your hearts' content.**

* * *

Chapter Eight

An Unbirthday Birthday

(Part Two)

August 19th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Sometimes I think back to the first Timeline, it's not like I want it back. Not after all that had happened to my family. Really, I don't think I'd like to survive any of those Timelines with being such a failure at fixing them. Simply put, I can't fix it. I can only help fix it...

I miss my family, I want them back. I'll get a version of them every Timeline, but they aren't mine. They won't remember those things, those experiences, we went through together. Sakura won't remember bleaching Sasuke's hair and switching all his dark clothing with neon green and purple. Sasuke won't remember helping me take down legions of Zetsu spawn and losing his eye in the line of battle. Kakashi won't remember becoming a...Godfather?... to Pakkun's first litter. He softened up after that, and I had thanked one of them for chewing apart Kakashi's perverted "literature". Lee wouldn't remember his wedding with Sakura, Tenten won't remember the after party where Neji proposed. Ino's friendship with Sakura won't go back to being fixed. Shikamaru won't remember his first born genius child. Choji, Kiba, and Shino won't remember becoming clan heads...although maybe I can help Kiba out a little more before that happens again...

I miss them.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Naruto stood outside the Hokage's office, a little groggy from his trip to his mindscape. With a shake of his head he let his face crack into his hyperactive megawatt grin and burst through the door.

"Hey Old Man!" Naruto yelled as he flew through the door.

"Hello Naruto-kun," the Hokage said, gesturing to a seat, "please have a seat."

"Okay," Naruto said with a grin as he jumped into the chair and waited for the old man to continue.

The Sandaime puffed his pipe, before slowly releasing a smoke ring as he looked down at the bouncing child in front of his desk. After a few smoke rings and a lot of fidgeting later he finally asked, "How are things going on your own?"

"On my own?" Naruto asked, before stating in a very "matter of fact" way, "Jiji, Emiko-nee doesn't leave me on my own. She says it's dangerous for a kid to be alone."

"Do you like Shinai-san, Naruto-kun?" The Hokage asked gently, he wasn't afraid to admit to himself he thought Naruto was like a grandson to him. He didn't want anything bad to happen to his student's student's son. However with all the meetings and other important Hokage duties, he couldn't watch his crystal ball all the time. Since he couldn't be watching all the time, not very good things were bound to happen.

"Yeah! She's _really_ nice and teaches me how to make rock candies," Naruto said excitedly. But the he pouted and grumbled, "but she makes me take a bath with weird pink bubbles that smell funny and makes me go to bed early."

Sarutobi chuckled, it seemed as if he had nothing to worry about. He felt assured that Shinai Emiko was taking care of the kid, it had come to light that the orphanage staff weren't the kindest to Naruto. It had worried him that Shinai Emiko had been a worker at the orphanage and seeing as she had taken an interest to Naruto, he couldn't help but worry her intentions weren't for the best.

"Why are you laughing Jiji? It's not funny. She doesn't let me sleep in my play clothes or eat ramen for breakfast!" Naruto exclaimed, crossed his arms, and puffed out his cheeks, "besides, why did you want me here? If it's about that lady with the pots, I swear it wasn't me. I don't go smashing pots for fun."

"I was just needing to make sure living on your own was turning out well," the Hokage said calmly before leaning forward and asking, "now what was that thing about broken pots?"

"Ah...nothing. Not important," Naruto said, looking away and grumbled to himself, "just because the culprit had blonde hair doesn't make it me. Who smashes someone's pots for fun anyway?"

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, before shaking his head dismissively, "alright, I'll believe that you didn't smash any pots. Before you go, is there anything you need for your apartment?"

"Hmm," Naruto thought for a moment, his hand on his chin, "could I get a notebook?"

Sarutobi blinked in surprise and then narrowed them in suspicion, why would he want a notebook? The last time he let the kid get around paper, he had to go over at least a dozen reports of confetti going off in the middle of a class; even the ones outside the classroom had been confettied.

Naruto looked up at him hopefully.

"Why do want a notebook, Naruto-kun?" he asked carefully.

Naruto beamed and said proudly, "I wanna write in it, like Emiko-nee does before she goes to bed. Except I want mine orange not purple, purple is for girls. Blech!"

Sarutobi smiled, Naruto wanted a journal then. The kid didn't know how to write, obviously, but wanted to be like a person he looked up to. That was something he couldn't say no to. He pulled open a drawer that had colored pencils, markers, stickers, and paper. He kept those things there for any little kids that waited in his office. He pulled out a blank notebook, fortunately it was orange. He grabbed a few pencils and held them out to Naruto. If his desk was once again filled with confetti reports, he promised to never give the kid paper again. Confetti in itself isn't so bad, until you realize the confetti has so much static electricity it'll cling to everything.

Naruto's grin intensified at the gifts, "Thanks Jiji! Can I go now? Emiko-nee promised to take me to the park afterward."

"Sure, you can leave now. You don't want to keep Shinai-san waiting," Sarutobi said and watched the kid bounce out the room.

"Okay, bye-bye Jiji!" yelled Naruto as he ran out the door.

Sarutobi just chucked and shook his head before returning to the never ending paperwork.

* * *

Naruto laughed happily as he skipped by Emiko's side, orange notebook clutched to his chest and pencils in hand. For one reason or another, he'd always get the orange notebook on this day.

In the first Timeline it was because he was the only one to use it, so it had a bunch of scribbles from when he waited for an orphanage employee to pick him up. In the second Timeline it was a gift because he was feeling a little sad. In the third Timeline, the Hokage thought it would be therapeutic for him to draw out his angry thoughts; the notebook was disturbing to look at with the vast amounts of detailed deaths in it. He became a fairly good drawer in that Timeline. In the forth Timeline he asked to borrow a notebook, but was told he could keep it. He stole the fifth Timeline's notebook. He had been ordered to infiltrate the Hokage's office and collect information or risk termination in Root, you don't want to be terminated in Root. He had thought he could bring Jiji's attention to his distress note in one of the other notebooks if he stole a notebook. Surely a ninja as great as Sarutobi would notice? Turned out some kid glitter glued the pages together that had his distress note, his guess was that it was Konohamaru. The little twerp. The sixth Timeline had the notebook given to him to write down "key events" of his pasts. He probably shouldn't have said anything about the Time traveling, he really didn't get much done in that Timeline.

So now he had his notebook back, and what a perfect 100th Birthday present it was. He'd probably would make it into a journal, like what he did with the end of the sixth Timeline. It would have to be sealed of course, couldn't have any snoops or a crazy Root assassin poking around key events.

"Naruto-kun," Emiko hesitantly said, "are you sure you wanted to go to the park today?"

Naruto looked up at Emiko, he knew she was worried about the children being pulled away from him. Her eyes spoke more of her concern then she ever was willing to tell him. She knew it wasn't good for a child's mind to be so cruelly excluded, it caused psychological damage.

"Yup, I wanna play on the swings," Naruto said, "could you push me?"

Emiko smiled sadly, "Of course."

Emiko and Naruto soon arrived to the park, with Naruto pulling Emiko along. Their presence was soon noticed by the other adults in the area who either ushered their children out of the park or kept a hawk like watch over the pair. Emiko trembled under their scrutiny. Naruto, having noticed her discomfort, squeezed her hand reassuringly.

Naruto ran up to the swings, which were quickly cleared of other children. One kid, having greeted Naruto, was pulled off the swing set and soon left the park.

Emiko glanced around warily and walked around behind Naruto when he sat down on his chosen swing. She then began pushing him, back and forth.

Naruto smiled as he felt her caring hands push his body forward and upward. He laughed when he got high enough that his butt started floating off the seat. He felt like he was flying, up up up into the sky and then a pause, before he free fell toward the ground. There was something different from swinging and chakra jumping though, but he couldn't put his finger on what made swinging so enjoyable.

Naruto sensed a cool chakra signature coming from the entrance of the park, along with an all too familiar signature. Naruto's laughter stalled before continuing, if not a little more forced then before.

A pair of black haired children walked in the park, the older one being a shinobi and the younger one being a person he hadn't seen in the past two Timelines. A boy he had grown to call family, brother. A person who the last he saw of was ripping a hole through his midsection and gutting him like a fish...

"Sasuke," the whispered name was lost to the wind.

* * *

Itachi figuratively tilted his head at his little brother, because Itachi never tilted his head in such an undignified manner. It was rare Sasuke indulged his childish side with such action as play, but Itachi wasn't against it in any way. Sasuke should be a child, no, Sasuke _needed_ to be a child. It was healthy for a child's brain development, and helped them in future needs of socializing.

"You wish to go to the park," Itachi stated more then asked the little black haired boy.

"Yes," Sasuke said, looking up at Itachi like he was waiting for a scathing remark on his childish behavior. A remark that was never to come.

"Very well. Shall we go now or later?" Itachi asked, already knowing his brother's answer.

"Now," Sasuke decided, looking up at Itachi like he was daring his brother to disagree.

Itachi nodded like it was completely anticipated, which it was in this case. Itachi called out to their mother that they were going to the park but would be back in time for dinner, he heard her faint reply. Both Uchiha brothers left the compound.

Sasuke was ridding Itachi's back, happily chattering away to his Nii-san.

"I can't wait to go to the academy!" Sasuke was excitedly telling him, "I'm going to be the best ninja ever, and then everyone will have to respect us Uchiha."

"Sasuke," Itachi intoned, wary of his brother's last words, "what has Otou-san told you about our heritage?"

Itachi posed this question so it could be taken several ways, he needed to figure out if his father had been getting into his little brother's head about the clan's "superiority". It wouldn't do well if his sweet little brother got a negative attitude toward the village. It wasn't even completely Fugaku's fault that he was against the village, pressure does strange things to a person's mind.

"Otou-san was telling me about how the Uchiha are a super strong clan. He says we should be proud to be Uchiha and not to be afraid to show off how strong we are," Sasuke said, happily ignorant of his father's underlying messages.

Itachi was quiet for a long moment, something Sasuke recognized as his brother's way of thinking up an answer and not just a lull in conversation.

Itachi then began talking again, "Tou-san is right, we are one of the more powerful clans. There are, of course, stronger people and clans then us. We should be proud of who we are, however, we should not disrespect others' that may seem weaker. It is part of our duty to respect others and not see ourselves as better. Do you understand, otouto?"

"I think so..." Sasuke replied, slightly confused as to what his big brother was trying to really say. If it was one thing he knew about Itachi, it was his way of saying things without saying them at all and having said more then what he actually says.

They arrived at the park, Sasuke jumping down from his brother's back to lead the way to the playground.

Itachi could hear the high laughter and giggles from the other children and idle talking from the adults, although there was an underlying anxiety to the adults' conversations.

Itachi quickly found the reason behind this anxiety, which happened to be a laughing blonde boy being pushed on the swings. Itachi watched Sasuke run off to the slides before he claimed a tree to lean against. Itachi could see some of the parents relax, it took him a moment to realize it was because a "strong shinobi" was present that could take out the potentially dangerous blonde. It was one of those weird things Itachi had found when he brought Sasuke to the park. If it was just him passing through the park, they'd tense. If he had Sasuke or was watching over some child as a D-rank mission, they knew he'd be watching for threats to the children in the park. Parents liked the idea of someone that could protect their children from enemies.

Itachi scanned the area with his chakra for any foreign signatures, before returning his attention to the laughing blonde.

Itachi could tell how stressed the woman that was pushing Naruto was, under the eyes of gossiping adults was not a fun place to be. Naruto didn't seem to mind or even notice the amount of eyes on him. Which contradicted everything Itachi had gathered on the blonde thus far.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw a few parents glare at Emiko, the poor woman shrunk into herself. Itachi decided to take pity on the woman. He walked toward the cowering woman, if it was one thing he knew about civilians. It was that they did their hardest to not be involved in any way with a ninja. They wouldn't look his way, so if he was near Emiko they wouldn't look her way. The downside was the fact that she was a civilian and probably didn't have much contact with ninja.

Emiko warily glanced at his approaching figure, she wasn't afraid to look at him then. However she didn't know his intent on approaching her, which probably worried her.

Thankfully Naruto took the initiative and yelled, "Hi Shinobi-san!"

Itachi internally winced at the decibels ricocheting in his ears. Naruto was loud, louder then he had ever been when Itachi was this close to him.

"Hello Naruto-kun," Itachi replied calmly, like his ears weren't ringing in pain and threatening to bleed out. Then looking at Emiko and inclined his head, "Shinai-san."

Naruto grinned down at Itachi, the smile giving way to genuine happiness. This slight give was the only indicator that anything had been false before. Itachi stored that information away for later.

"What brings you here, Shinobi-san?" asked Emiko, who relaxed at Naruto's positive response toward the unknown ninja.

"My otouto wanted to visit the playground, I am his escort," Itachi replied, his face collected and not revealing anything.

Itachi turned his head to face the playground, his features softening when he spotted his happy brother. A small smile worked it's way onto his face.

"WHOA!" Naruto yelled before flying off the swing, his arms flailing around before landing face first into the sandy ground. A grumbling, "I'll never get used to that," was muffled in the ground.

"N-Naruto-kun," Emiko rushed to his side, "are you alright?"

Naruto lifted his head and spat out sand and dirt, "Yup. I'm good, surprised is all."

Emiko looked him over for scrapes and Itachi looked around the park, the adults were looking at the trio before catching his eye and hurriedly adverted their gaze. The children had looked over as well, surprised to find the 'dangerous' kid laying in the dirt. Some winced in sympathy, since they too had fallen off the swings. Other laughed at his expense.

Sasuke had seen his brother talking to the blonde and his mother or big sister and decided to meet them too. His brother didn't talk to others very much, let alone voluntarily. He ran up to his brother before slowing down to stand behind his brother. Uchiha don't hide.

Itachi looked down at Sasuke, a smile gracing his lips and said, "Sasuke, this is Naruto-kun and Shinai-san."

"Emiko is fine," Emiko said, abashed by the young shinobi's formality.

Itachi inclined his head in acknowledgment, "Naruto-kun, Emiko-san, this is my otouto, Sasuke."

"Hello Sasuke-kun," Emiko greeted.

"Hello, Emiko-san," Sasuke replied, before looking at the blonde who was brushing off his shorts.

Naruto bounded over to Sasuke, grinning, "Hi Shinobi-san's little brother Sasuke!"

Sasuke looked at the ball of raging energy posing as a child blankly.

Naruto puffed out his cheeks indignantly, "It's rude not to respond, Sasuke-teme..."

Sasuke bristled at that and growled, "It's also rude to not refer to someone without a proper suffix, Naruto-baka."

Naruto glared but it lacked any malice, almost like this little exchange of words was a game. The two began bickering back and forth, trading varied degrees of insults and contradicting words.

Itachi sighed, the introduction wasn't going as well as he had planned. He had thought about introducing Sasuke to Naruto before, but wasn't sure how to go about it. It seemed fortune smiled down on him when they coincidentally were both at the playground, but Itachi knew their was no such thing as a coincidence. Nor did it seem fortune favored him in this aspect.

Strangely Naruto seemed content with Sasuke's name calling, Itachi was mildly bewildered at Naruto's response to his brother's horrifying behavior toward the blonde. Naruto never did make sense to Itachi, so he was close to dismissing it as another of the boy's quirks, before absently deciding to store it away for later assessment. One piece at a time will eventually finish the puzzle, at least that's what he told himself.

"Shinobi-san," Naruto said, looking at Itachi, "Why do you have such a weird brother?"

Sasuke shot Naruto a glare, growling, "why you-"

"Granted he's not as weird as me," Naruto said pointing to himself proudly, "because I am going to be the most unpredictable ninja."

Sasuke just stared at the blonde boy before shaking his head and giving up on what Itachi was puzzling over.

Itachi looked down at Naruto, uncertain if he was expected to answer his question or not. He settled on saying, "you plan to become a ninja?"

"Not just any ninja, I'm going to be the greatest ninja you've ever seen!" Naruto exclaimed.

Sasuke scoffed at the declaration, "you have to be strong and smart if you want to be a great ninja, baka."

"I am strong and smart," Naruto cried indignantly, looking up at Itachi he said, "tell your brother I'm strong and smart."

Sasuke huffed, "tell the idiot he may become strong, but he's the stupidest kid I've ever met."

Naruto nodded saying, "That's right, I'm strong- HEY! I'm smart too!"

Itachi and Emiko collectively sighed.

Emiko glanced up at the sky before announcing, "we should be heading home now, Naruto-kun. I have to make dinner."

"Mmkay, goodbye Shinobi-san," Naruto said and then glanced at Sasuke as an afterthought, "See you later Sasuke-teme, I'll prove I'm a better ninja then you at the academy."

Sasuke grumbled a reply and watched the two leave the park. He looked up at Itachi, and asked, "Nii-san?"

Itachi looked down at the raven haired boy, silently prompting him to continue.

Sasuke, almost pleadingly, asked, "he's not really going to go to the academy...is he?"

Itachi looked down at him in amusement, "I imagine he will."

Sasuke groaned and dropped his head, but a small smirk could be seen under his fallen bangs.

Itachi smiled and said, "we should be heading home as well, Okaa-san wants us home for dinner."

"Okay," Sasuke replied and quietly followed his brother out of the park. Thinking over his weird encounter with his new "friend".

Itachi was also silent, though this was not so strange, but his mind was busily thinking about the blonde. Itachi had come to think of the blonde as something akin to a friend, more like mutually friendly acquaintances not fully a part of the world around them. Like they were both spectators that had to play their parts in the world without ever actually being part of it. Comrades, perhaps.

* * *

Naruto sneezed as he left the park, and talked excitedly with Emiko as they walked to their apartment complex.

Naruto had been surprised that the two Uchiha had come to the playground, really he only expected Sasuke's presence. For one reason or another, Sasuke would occasionally be at the playground on this particular day. But Itachi hadn't showed up the times he did go to the playground, so that was a little surprising. It was slightly hard to be around the older Uchiha when most of his memories of the boy or man were him trying to steal Kurama. Or not trying to steal Kurama, since he wasn't exactly trying all that hard to take Kurama in the first place. If he had been trying, he would probably be dead all six Timelines from poor biju extraction techniques. Keeping up his child self's smile was tricky when Itachi was around, but it had nearly given him a heart attack when he saw Itachi's serene smile. Child's mask gone and shock overtaking him demanded he need a little time to recover. Face planting was the best he could think of on the fly and inconspicuous enough that shock was _supposed _to be on his face. Then there was his once best friend Sasuke...

"I think Sasuke will be a good friend, even if he is a jerk," Naruto said, smiling widely as they walked through the town.

"Both of you were so horrible to each other though," Emiko said in distress, "how could you possibly think he'll become a good friend?"

Naruto just grinned more and said, "because I won't let it become any other way."

Emiko raised an eyebrow and shook her head, if anyone could put up with that brat's bad attitude, it'd be Naruto.

Naruto put his hands behind his head, still grinning at the frowning passersby. It was a good 100th Birthday.

* * *

**Esparia: Well that went alright, now to plan which chapter to do next...hmm...Anko or the seal? Anko? Or the seal? Hmm...**

**Chibi!Sasuke: You meanie Esparia! Turn me back to my original age!**

**Esparia: Now, now, Sasuke-_chan_. I can't do anything inside this closet but pass your scripts under the door...and try to chose what the future will hold for you punks.**

**Chibi!Sasuke: Hn! I don't believe you can't do anything, there is no way you're going to trick me into releasing you to make a mess of this story!**

**Esparia: …**

**Chibi!Sasuke: I'll escape, just you watch. *stomps away***

**Esparia: His logic is faulty. *continues typing in closet* Anko...or the seal...bah, I'll just flip a coin. *looks around in closet* Where's a coin when you need one?**


	10. Chapter 9

**Esparia: ***_**still**_** sitting in closet* Hey! Random Crew Member!**

**RCM: Yeah? *looks up from shoujo manga***

**Esparia: Do you have a coin? I need you to flip to see which way this story is going to take.**

**RCM: Yup. *flips coin* Heads.**

**Esparia: Alright. Call Anko in to join us in the studio.**

**RCM: A-Anko?**

**Anko: *walks into studio, finishing a dango***

**-wolf whistle in background-**

**Anko: *impales whistler in eye with dango stick***

**Whistler: *dies***

**Disclaimer: Esparia does not own the Naruto franchise or any of the merchandise. If you want to talk to someone who does own Naruto, I'd tell you to call, write, or go to Japan. (unless you're already there, then stalk him down or something)**

**Esparia: I would not recommend stalking.**

**Anko: *reading through script, signs contract***

**Chibi!Sasuke: NO! You could have been free...and could have saved us all.**

**Anko: You're so much more melodramatic and shorter then I remember...**

* * *

Chapter Nine

Death Forest...and Beast kings

August 22nd, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

The 44th training ground is a pain to deal with. Getting killed, maimed, the animals, forgotten traps, illusions, getting eaten, or marked with a cursed hickey. And it's only too easy to get turned around in a place like that if you aren't well versed in it. Lost, possibly. But the river and fencing help. What's really the problem is not knowing what is in between the river and fence. That's why I've decided I will be the first one to map out the entire training field. Besides, it'll be an advantage in knowing the land when the Chunin Exams take place. Orochimaru won't know what hit him.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

A clone popped into existence with a little chakra manipulation, hand seals long since forgotten. You'd have to be a Super Idiot to not learn everything without seals that the wheel eye of doom can copy, predict, and throw back at you. Shadow clones being one of the first on the list to learn, it was used often enough to be natural.

Naruto walked around the still clone like a tailor would around a suite being fitted. He hummed thoughtfully, _'stable, crisp around the edges...'_

Naruto jabbed a finger on the clone's forehead, making the clone wince and rub the red spot, _'...solid.'_

"Vocal test," Naruto commanded.

The clone rolled its eyes and said, "Boss, it worked fine. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know my time limit. I can talk without spewing chakra. Yes, my core is stable. No, I will not start a fight. If I feel like I'm getting unstable I'll do the back up plan. Stop fretting like Iruka-sensei's "mother hen" mode and go to the Forest of Death."

"Fine, fine," Naruto grumbled, feeling the chakra begin to mold into the right pattern, "is your temperature-"

"It's fine!" Exclaimed the exasperated clone, "just shunshin already and leave me in peace. Stupid old man."

With a worried frown, Naruto disappeared in a swirl of ramen, hands wringing nervously.

The clone shook his head and started sorting through his closet. He really was turning into an paranoid old man if he wasn't one already.

* * *

A small, blonde haired, orange wearing child burst into existence in possibly one of the most dangerous forests in the world.

The animals of the forest were semi-used to ninja popping out of nowhere. They were even used to humans just wandering into the area. What they weren't used to was a young human child coming into their land without so much as a trace of fear. No shaking, no fear scent, no calling for his mother like any other lost offspring would do and it was definitely not panicking about being away from its den.

A massive centipede, the rightfully declared the king centipede, had been told by the Tigress that a human had been scented in his part of the forest. Tigress was a fair alpha she-cat, acknowledging the other dominating animals as good allies against the greater threat of humans. Her kind often was hunted by the many poachers from the human colonies. Her deal with the other alphas was that she'd provide information on any human scented in the forest if they returned the favor by warning her stripe if the humans were hunter-humans and not warrior-humans. It was a fair trade since the tigers had a stronger sense of smell to provide warning and could let the other animals investigate.

The giant centipede moved silently until he found the stray human. He was surprised to find the human no more past its larvae stage. He sighed, as best a centipede could sigh, and carefully approached the larvae. As the dominant one of his species, it was his duty to confront the human larvae. His human speech was rusty and not well remembered since it was a long time since he learned it. Humans were too stupid to learn other languages.

"Larvae," said the centipede, voice gravely and awkward, "What purpose? Be in forest?"

The bright little human blinked its strange ugly eyes up at the great centipede. All mammals seemed to have the misfortune of possessing such ugly things as eyes, and weak soft flesh grew outside their skeletons. Unnatural and unsightly.

"Are you a summon?" asked the soft shell human larvae.

The centipede grumbled to himself, berating himself for not paying attention in his human language class. He always told himself that it wouldn't matter in the future. One rarely had to talk to the humans, since one could usually tell if it was a threat to them or not. Besides, centipedes weren't built for human sounds. Leave that to the birds and apes, their vocal cords worked similarly to the humans' so why bother a centipede with needless communication between such a strange species?

"What...summon?" asked the centipede before deciding to give up with the human talk and said, "stay, larvae. Get bird-king."

The centipede went off in search for the Emperor Bird. Centipede hadn't thought he'd have to talk to the human when he first heard of its presence, but he also didn't expect it to be a larvae. It was a common known fact that every animal protected their young in some shape or form. From either raising it or making sure they hatch in an appropriate environment. Humans, as it were, are very protective of their young. Unless the human was defective and didn't care for the young. Humans were odd like that. However, when you killed one of their own, let alone a young one, they became very angry. Much like ants become when you disturb them. Angry humans were a pain to deal with, so it was best not to kill one of their young. It was made an unspoken law years back to not kill their larvae since the humans reacted even more violently.

"Emperor Bird," called out the centipede in his native tongue, " a human has entered my domain. I require your understanding of the human language."

"And why, oh great and powerful ugly one, must it be I?" the Emperor Bird lamented from a high branch. His dark blue and purple feathers shimmered in the low light.

The centipede opted to not comment on the looks, as it was better to not encourage the pompous feathered thing. He replied, "is it, or is it not, you whom brags of their superior knowledge of all languages?"

"It is I," confirmed the bird, running a beak through it's feathers in disinterest, "but, alas, I do not wish to meet a pesky human. Why do you not just eat the featherless horror?"

"You recognize the unspoken law to which we are to not touch the humans' young," the centipede said, shifting his long body to a more comfortable position.

"Ah!" the bird exclaimed in surprise, looking up from his grooming, "A hatchling is it? Most peculiar, humans don't tend to let their hatchlings outside the nest."

"I believe it to be lost," said the centipede, "I know not if my human words were understandable to the larvae."

"A lost hatchling! How stupid the humans must be to lose a hatchling. I have yet to see a hatchling from the humans, and for good reason as well. However, I should like to see what their young look like, hopefully not as ugly as your own."

"You will come?" asked the centipede in annoyance. The bird got on his nerves at times.

"Indeed, oh hideous one, I shall follow you to the human hatchling. We shall see what it wants and what brought it to our territory," the bird replied before lifting off the branch to hover over the giant centipede.

The centipede scuttled down the tree and led the bird to the human child.

* * *

Naruto had done a shunshin to the Forest of Death and went about mapping the eastern section of the forest when he got the greatest startle of his seventh Timeline's life.

"Larvae!" boomed a voice like wood and rocks, as massive centipede fell from a branch to land in front of him, "What purpose? Be in forest?"

Naruto blinked in surprise, he's seen weirder things, but a giant talking centipede isn't exactly normal in his life either. Although giant talking toads weren't to horribly different. Perhaps the centipede was a summon, though he never heard of a centipede summoning contract.

"Are you a summon?" Naruto asked, he wondered if he could also have a centipede summoning contract along with the toads. It would be interesting to watch.

The giant centipede seemed confused by the question. How he could read the giant bug's emotions were questionable. The skill was probably tied to his ability to understand "Uchiha" and read "Masked Jounin".

"What...summon?" the centipede asked, it made a few sound to itself before saying, "stay, larvae. Get bird-king."

The giant centipede scuttled away to find the "bird-king". Naruto stood their uncertainly. He had never gone in the forest at this young of age. However, he'd gone plenty of times as an adult and older child. Not once had he heard of a talking beast in training ground forty four.

He noticed a few smaller, but still huge, centipedes surround the area he was in. He had a feeling he was about to learn more about the Forest of Death then he ever had before.

"Larvae," the centipede said as he crawled up to him, "meet, bird-king."

The "bird-king" was at least a good fifteen feet (five meters) tall. It cocked its head sideways to look down at Naruto with a sparkling spring green eye.

"Hi?" Naruto greeted slightly intimidated, if the two beasts wanted to fight, he might as well say goodbye to the seventh Timeline.

"Hatchling with bright loose plumes, my incompetent friend and I," the bird struck a pose, "the Fabulous Emperor Bird of Paradise, wish to know why a small thing like you is wandering in our forest."

Naruto blinked up at the large animals, "uh..."

The bird tilted his head, like he was listening and waiting for an answer, with the promise of a sound pecking if Naruto answered wrong.

Naruto wasn't sure how well the bird knew how to talk, since the centipede's speech was halting. He doubted that the bird understood mapping, perhaps scouting? Did birds scout? But scouting would imply looking for specific things, which he wasn't.

"I'm sight seeing," he decided to answer, since that was the best he could think of how to explain it to the bird.

"You are an odd hatchling," the bird decided, "do you plan on harming the animals while here?"

"No," Naruto said, confused.

"Good, then you are free to wander under these conditions," the bird said before pulling a scroll like thing out from what looked like an old leg pouch, "you humans may not be very pretty, but you make up for that by having half a bird's mind. A human-warrior was carrying a skyview of our forest, what you call...a map? This is a copied and edited version of what the human-warrior had. The birds have changed a few things, such as locations, and added a few things, like territory borders. "Sight-seeing" is such a strange word, and I admit I do not understand what that means exactly. But I suggest looking at the areas marked in red, they have food that you might like. Such as berries, nuts, fruits, please refrain from destroying these areas. The blue areas are good places for fishing, you may eat the fish. Do not eat the birds-"

The centipede made a few strange noises before the bird continued, " and don't eat the centipedes. Don't leave hunter-human's animal traps. I suggest not going into Tigress's territory, she is rather testy with your species' hunter-humans. If you become a hunter-human you will no longer be welcomed to the forest and killed on sight."

"No worries, I'm gonna be a ninja! As long as no animal attacks me first, I won't harm them," Naruto exclaimed.

"Ninja? Is that what human-warriors are called in your flock?" asked the bird.

"Ninja, shinobi, kunoichi, samurai, nuke-nin, jounin, chunin, genin, warrior, brawler, and other things," Naruto replied.

"...I think I shall stick with human-warrior. You humans complicate things," the bird said.

"Well I'm going to be the greatest human-warrior," Naruto declared, "and help save the world from an evil villain that wants to destroy everything."

"Noble goal," the bird said, "on behalf of the birds, I wish you well. In which case, if this "villain", whatever that might be, threatens us we shall offer our allegiance. As long as you do not betray us, we shall not betray you."

The centipede then said, "no harm centipede. Centipede no harm you. Allies with bird, allies with centipede."

Naruto nodded, deciding to figure out what was actually just given to him later.

The two mammoth sized animals then left, one taking to the sky and the other climbing a tree. The smaller centipedes scuttled away from the area, leaving a very quiet Naruto behind. Naruto stood there for a long time before deciding he's need to visit the library as soon as his henge held longer then thirty minutes. The forty forth training ground had more to it then met the eye.

* * *

The two hour old clone was having the time of his life. So maybe most wouldn't call being chased by angry chunin fun, but pranking said angry chunin sure was.

"Hahaha! You slow pokes are gonna have to become faster if you wanna catch me!" yelled the clone gleefully, dodging people as he ran though the streets.

"You little punk!" screamed one of the angry chunin, "get back here so I can beat some respect into you!"

"Respect?" laughed the Naruto clone, "who'd respect a ninja that falls asleep on the job?"

The chunin growled lowly, one of his coworkers vowing to never fall asleep on guard duty again.

"As far as your concerned, I think you slackers deserved it," jeered the clone.

One of the angry chunin absently scratched at the super glued mafia boss styled mustache on his upper lip. All three had a mustache, marker unibrows, fake eyelashes, and the word "lazy-nin" stamped on their foreheads.

Yes, today was a good day for the Naruto clone.

The clone felt the boss shunshin back home, he grinned. It was fun while it lasted. He took a sharp turn and jumped into a trash bin, disappearing with a small amount of smoke.

The chunin caught up to where they saw the boy jump, and opened the trash bin. Only to find nothing but rotting garbage. A synchronized groan went about the small group before they went in to turn in their reports.

* * *

The Hokage sighed as the shame faced chunin turned in his report. Naruto certainly knew how to cause trouble for his poor old self.

"I'll see to it that he's properly punished," the Sandaime said.

The chunin bowed and left the room, mustaches and all.

Once he was sure the chunin was out of hearing range he let himself chuckle, he had been getting reports of those chunin sleeping on the job. Maybe it would help them realize that what they were doing was dangerous to the village and to themselves.

At least Naruto's pranks were harmless, and had yet to cause any extensive property damage.

Unfortunately for Sarutobi, the future had considerable amounts of property damage, mainly on a certain monument and governmental offices.

* * *

Anko was jumping through the canopy of training ground forty four when she was nearly plowed over by a stampede of legs. Well, more like a single man-eating monstrous centipede. But details don't matter so much when all you see is your future death by hundreds of feet.

Anko, being a kunoichi, was fast enough to spring away before becoming a human version of her namesake.

She recognized the beast as the oldest and strongest of the centipedes. As weird as it probably was to recognize an animal like that, she had been in the forest long enough to become part of its social order. Needless to say, it was also hard to forget such a giant creature. Plus she made it her business to know the most dangerous of the animals in the forest, since she spent so much time in the area.

She was also probably one of the few humans that knew that the animals in the forest had intelligent minds. She wasn't totally sure for a long time if it was just an illusion or if she had been hallucinating, because what animal outside of summon could talk? She learned that not all the animals of the forest could, and it was only the very oldest of the intelligent species that could.

Anko probably knew more about the forest then most. She wasn't afraid to admit that. But one of the reasons she was so familiar with it was because of her ex-mentor Orochimaru. That was something she wasn't so likely to admit. Orochimaru had a weird love of the forest, and frankly she didn't want to know why he trained so much here.

Her mentor was insane, this she knew. She was pretty sure it wasn't always like that. Children had a sense for when something was wrong with a person, and maybe she got so used to his little strange ways that she slowly just got used to strange things in general. Maybe it was like when you're gaining an immunity to a poison. You take a little at a time before you body builds up resistance to it, then you take a little more and build resistance, then a little more, and a little more, and a little more, until before you know it you can't be poisoned by it at all. You can't even tell it's in your system.

That was probably why his team couldn't tell, he was a little different and they got used to it. He got a little stranger, and they got used to it. Then he got even more weird, and they brushed it off as another one of Orochimaru's strange things. They got used to it until, before they knew it, he was rip roaring crazy and experimenting on children. She hated it. She hated what he did. She hated that he hurt her. She felt so angry. With herself for not seeing his craziness, and with him for being crazy. Sometimes she would wonder if he even was once a good person. Nobody is born crazy, right? Then she would shake herself and say "no, Anko, he was never a good person. He never actually cared for you, because he's hardly human. Just a snake in a human skin."

She shook her head and continued leaping through the trees. She had felt a spike of chakra in the area, and wanted to make sure the ninja wasn't an enemy. But after nearly being run over by the giant centipede she doubted the person was even alive. So now she was bounding towards the probable remains to see who had died, and inform the family if the ninja was from Konoha.

To her surprise, the area with the chakra spike was clear. No sign of a person outside of excess chakra, no sign of a battle, and definitely no blood. It couldn't have been another animal, since the area smelled strongly of human.

Anko frowned, the only reason why the giant centipede would leave a human was if they made a pact, were used to the human and knew it was no threat to them (like her), or were such a threat that immediate retreat was forest wide. She had no knowledge of the first ever being made. No one was willing to go so often to the Forest of Death, like her, with the exception of poachers. But poachers had a short life expectancy for their idiocy. And as far as a massive threat, well, unless the person was a Kage or one of the sannin, it was unlikely. She was pretty sure no Kage had time to stop in at the forest, Tsunade and Jiraiya had no reason, and the place didn't reek of the snake.

She thought for a moment, what other powerful people were there? A jinchuriki perhaps, but they rarely left their villages unless in war. Her own jinchuriki was a kid, and wasn't allowed to leave the walls of the village. So it was unlikely, but not completely unfounded. Further investigation would be needed.

* * *

**Esparia: Not what I was picturing for this chapter.**

**Anko: *crosses arms* What was with my lame intro? I should kick butt.**

**Esparia: Err, in all honesty that was what I had planned.**

**Anko: Then what happened?**

**Esparia: Ah, the plot bunny squeezed out from under the closet door and started messing with things.**

**Anko: Plot bunny. You mean all these furry little horrors running about the studio?**

**Esparia: What do you mean? Last I checked there was only three?**

**Anko: *looks around studio* Well I hate to break it to you like this, you being locked in a closet and all...but there are at least... Fifty to Eighty plot bunnies running around.**

**Esparia: ...what?**

**Anko: They started multiplying by the powers.**

**Esparia: *bashes head against wall***

**Anko: Why are you in a closet anyway?**

**Esparia: Sasuke locked me in. I don't have the keys.**

**Anko: Does the prissy Uchiha have them?**

**Esparia: Yup.**

**Anko: Hmm...*walks away***

**Esparia: ...well, that's all folks! See you next week.**


	11. Chapter 10

**Esparia: *sitting in closet***

**Anko: I got those keys you needed!**

**Esparia: *surprised* How'd you get them?**

**Anko: Sasuke gave them to me, of course.**

**Esparia: That was generous of him.**

**Anko: Oh, well...*unlocks closet door* he just needed a little persuading.**

**Esparia: *walks out of closet, blinking blindly***

**Anko: *twirls keys on a finger* I'm off, I have a few things to do in my forest.**

**Esparia: Of course, see you later Anko. And thanks for getting me out!**

**Anko: Don't mention it. *strides away***

**Disclaimer: Esparia does not own things in general. So it isn't very likely Esparia would own something like "Naruto". *follows Anko***

**Esparia: So, another Itachi special...this isn't supposed to happen so often. But it hit me that I haven't really been showing any progress with the massacre around the corner. I thought about doing it in Naruto's point of view, but he isn't really all that connected to the event like the Uchiha are. I thought about doing Sasuke, but at this age he knows nothing. Doing it from the Hokage's view would be different, that's for sure, but his information on the subject would be limited. Itachi was an obvious choice, the dude has a foot on both sides with a personal connection to it. Then I got to thinking about how I this would play out. There are a ton of things that play into his character, so it'll have a seemingly super OOC Itachi. Without further adieu, I present Itachi's second special chapter.**

* * *

Chapter Ten

Choices and an Invitation

September 1st, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

So I'm finally able to stabilize my chakra to a workable level. Not nearly as good as it should be. But shadow clones and henge are a wonderful combination that are once again available to me. Shadow clones can hold for about six days. Not enough for some of the longer missions I'm planning for them. But close. By the end of the week I should have enough control to keep them around two months. If that works out, a few new mercenaries will start bringing in escaped convicts to varies T&amp;I. Then with money in the bank, I can start up the plan I worked on during my time in the 5th Timeline. Hopefully it'll work out.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Itachi bowed to his father, the clan head Uchiha Fugaku, and exited the room. He quietly slid the shoji shut after him. He released the pent up air he unconsciously held and walked away. He felt heavy; knowing his father refused to make amends with the Hokage was worrying. If something wasn't done about the destructive coup they were planning, then many innocents were going to die. Many were going to see war and death, too young to fully understand outside of the pain and fear. Like his brother.

Itachi strode down the hall until he got to his room. He needed to think. His options were limited greatly by the pressures from others. On one hand he had his family. A loving mother, a protective father, and an innocent baby brother he _had _to protect. He had cousins, aunts, uncles, and ...family. He also had a village counting on him to protect it, and his Hokage was in danger from his family. He had comrades, teachers, allies, people who always had his back.

Itachi was a loyal shinobi, he felt that strong sense of duty to protect his village. A village that had protected his family. His family, who were now planning on getting rid of it like it was worth nothing. They wanted to start more wars, more death. So much death. So much spilled red.

Taking over the village would bring nothing but death and angry revenge from those who would lose their families from such a thing as overthrowing the Hokage. His father and the clan's council of elders had faulty ideals when it came to power and their plans. Plans on over throwing a Hokage that wanted peace and was fair in judgment was hardly a good idea. The elders and his father let their anger blind them, anger from the prejudice, the suspicious, and paranoid people of Konoha.

He couldn't just turn on his family, but he couldn't stand for what they wanted to do either. He was loyal, he didn't want to watch his little brother grow up in a war. A war within their own village none the less. He had promised to keep Sasuke safe, to never let Sasuke get hurt.

Itachi clenched his battle scarred fists and paced his room a few times before he settled on his bed. His little brother. His brother was innocent, he didn't know the cruelty of the world. His brother wasn't involved with what the clan was planning. So why did Sasuke have to be caught in the crossfire of this? Itachi could protect him. He could protect his precious little brother. Itachi would protect him just like he always had. He has protected him from learning too soon of the horrors of the world they lived in. He has protected Sasuke from their father's bad forms of attention. Sasuke desperately wanted what Itachi had. He wanted to be loved like Itachi was loved by their father. Itachi knew this, he knew it angered Sasuke that their father didn't pay much attention to him. But Itachi couldn't help but be thankful it was that way. Their father's way of giving them attention was in the form of teaching them to be stronger and more powerful. Powerful enough to kill without hesitance and willing to torture others for one's own gain. That was too heavy for a child. It was too dangerous for their psych. He didn't want Sasuke's hands to become dirtied like his. His father would ruin Sasuke and make him look like Itachi. Itachi didn't want him to become like him.

A soft knocking on his door brought his full attention back to the world. A chubby soft hand carefully opened the door a crack, a big black eye peeked inside.

There were few things Itachi found himself caring about. His brother, his family, his village, and peace. But with how both his clan and village were turning on each other, he couldn't choose one over the other. Which was why his need for peace and love for his brother ultimately made his decision on which side he would stand on.

Itachi smiled at the little boy, tilting his head to indicate he was allowed to come in. The younger boy straitened, smiled happily, and bounded into the room.

"Sasuke," Itachi greeted the boy.

"Nii-san, you're back," Sasuke said happily, as he scuffled to sit next to his older brother.

"How was your day?" Itachi asked, posture less tense then it was before. Tired dark eyes softening when he looked down at his younger sibling.

"It was good. Kaa-san took me shopping for vegetables. I got tomatoes. And I've been practicing with my kunai. I'm not very good at it. Tou-san won't help me," Sasuke said, glancing up at his brother form the corner of his eye.

Sasuke was hopping to get Itachi to teach him or give him some pointers. Itachi never taught him. He didn't know why Itachi seemed to not like the idea of teaching him how to be a good ninja like he was. Maybe Itachi agreed with their father and thought he was weak. Not that Uchiha were weak. Uchiha were never weak.

Itachi was silent for a few moments before he said, "I'll help you, but not right now."

Itachi would always help Sasuke, but not in the way Sasuke would understand. If Itachi could make sure Sasuke stayed out of the field longer, Sasuke would be able to live longer. He would be safer.

Sasuke nodded dejectedly, he knew Itachi didn't have a lot of time because he was a ninja. But he doubted that Itachi would ever hold his promise to help him. It would always be "Maybe next time", "Some other time", or "Not right now, Sasuke". It was never "Sure, we have some time before diner starts", "Show me what you can do", nor "Sasuke, I've got this technique I want to teach you". Sasuke knew Itachi cared for him, more then Tou-san ever did. Tou-san never had time to even talk with him; not like he did with Itachi, who would be in their father's study for hours. Only Oka-san, Shisui-nii, and Nii-san had time for him. Tou-san didn't love him. Not like he did Itachi. That thought made a small part of his chest ache. Why didn't his Tou-san love him too?

–

Itachi's cool facade easily hid the amounting anxiety in him. He knew Shisui had been told to watch him, his closest friend and cousin was spying on him. He was no longer trusted in his own home.

His father didn't trust him as much as he used to. It was understandable and logical that he'd get a close friend to spy on him. He was a loyal ANBU to the Hokage after all.

However, Itachi needed to let the facade down. It wore down the soul to wear a mask too long. He felt tired and trapped. He couldn't relax in his own house any longer, his own room's walls had ears. Working as a shinobi had the job description of not showing emotion and constantly having a mask on. The village had eyes everywhere, one wrong jaw twitch and then every enemy he managed to make would know that they were getting to him. One of the many disadvantages of living in a ninja village, no privacy. He had an unflappable reputation, and it worked to his advantage.

But Itachi needed to slouch his back, hang his head at the hopelessness, slump his shoulders like the weight of the world rested on them, sigh heavily with all his weariness in his breath, flop like a boneless fish on the ground and break down like his prepubescent hormones demanded. The stress, anxiety, and grief of what he would have to do compiled into one nasty sob monster.

So Itachi was taking a walk through the park, to clear his mind. Head held high with the appearance he was assured of himself, back strait like the good heir he was, posture confident and uninterested with lowlifes when it was possibly the very opposite, breathing regulated and not a trace of emotion on his pale features.

It was ironic that the only time the face he presented relaxed when it was under that of an ANBU's ghostly one. The only time he could frown or scrunch up his face like he'd seen others do when upset or angry. It felt strange since he rarely ever did do it under the ANBU mask let alone where his face could be seen. He was an Uchiha after all. He wasn't allowed to feel the emotions that went along with the facial contortions. ANBU were emotionless.

Outside of that white mask, he could smile. He would smile at Sasuke. Hesitantly smile with all the protectiveness, love, and contentment felt seeing his brother was safe.

Itachi could handle his emotions fairly well, however he knew that with all the pent up stress he was holding in, he would eventually break. He needed to release it somehow, training and missions went only so far. He couldn't relax, truly relax, on missions or training. Home was anything but relaxing. He needed to go somewhere where no one was around to pry. Like that place completely untouched by humans with the exception of himself and the village jinchuriki.

Itachi did a quick shunshin into the forest, leaving behind a (sorta) disgruntled stalker Ne-nin.

Itachi reappeared and jumped through the treetops to get to where he had found the jinchuriki encourage a frog. Untouched, calm, serene, and safe.

He scanned the area for ninja, foreign or otherwise, with nod of satisfaction that no ninja were around. Itachi inhaled the clean air deeply and released it with a relieved sigh. His tense shoulders dropped forward and he slouched his back a bit, making his vertebrate crack. A small amount of satisfaction made its way onto his schooled features. With a twitch of his lips he ungracefully flopped backwards to the soft ground. Resembling a few fangirl faints he had unfortunately caused. It was rather embarrassing, he would assume, for the girl when she woke up. It was also disconcerting for him, to say a polite "hello" and have the other respond by falling backwards like a sack of bricks was strange. There was a very good reason to appear as distant as possible.

Itachi's lips quirked up around the edges, enjoying the feeling of the grass between his fingers and ticking against his ears. He closed his eyes and listened to the forest around him. Both enjoying the peaceful sounds and alert for intruders. Only an exceptional ninja with other worldly chakra control or a chakra level so low it was closer to that of a dead man would be able to sneak up on him.

His dark eyes opened, and watched the cloudy sky dim in the evening light. Itachi brushed back some of the stray black hair in his face.

Itachi wanted to relax, and for a moment, just imagine that he wasn't a ninja. But his minds had plans of its own, because it kept flickering back to what he was going to have to do if his father decided to go with the plan. Time was running out and the future of the clan wasn't looking too good. His heart clenched painfully, his worst fears as a child were going to come true. The death of all his loved ones.

A ghost tear pricked against his eyes. Ghost tears were the all he could really make anymore, never a true tear. Not since...

No liquid or watery eyes were ever present on him. Just the pained emotion with the sensation that the eyes wanted to release it, but couldn't no matter how hard it tried.

He wanted his family to be happy and safe. He didn't want to betray them, but they were intent on a cause that would kill them all anyway. His parents, friends, and brother. His little brother, who would die. A confused and scared expression frozen on his bloodless face. He would die trying to protect Sasuke, he'd try to make sure he didn't see anything to gruesome. Futilely try to keep him safe. The only way to keep Sasuke safe was to kill his family before someone else did. Sasuke would be viewed as a fortunate and highly honored child for surviving the massacre. Sasuke would hate the village if he found out why Itachi would kill them all. Itachi would have to take all the blame, but Sasuke was stubborn and wouldn't believe his brother killed them. No, he'd have to show Sasuke himself that his Nii-san killed their family.

Then Sasuke would see that his brother was a monster. Sasuke wouldn't hurt the village that would help him in his time of crises. Sasuke would get stronger, plan for a the future fight with a S-rank criminal ex-brother. He would get stronger for hating Itachi, Sasuke would try to surpass him. If Sasuke was strong, he'd be safe. Safe from the council, from Danzo and his Ne-nin, from enemies, and from their creepy old relative that refused to die. He'd have to plan on what to do on that problem later.

Sasuke would be strong and safe. He'd come after Itachi. If he wasn't strong enough, Itachi would prompt him a little to make him want to get stronger. Then when Sasuke was strong enough, he'd kill Itachi. Sasuke would stand over his broken body, hating him, victorious and releasing Itachi from life's cruelty. Itachi would be dead. Sasuke would be strong and safe.

Itachi's throat tightened and he slowly sat up. His back hunched over and legs that lay limp in front of him.

Itachi loved Sasuke, he'd do anything to protect him from harm and excessive evils of the world. Even be hated by the one he cared for the most. He didn't want to be hated by Sasuke. But what other good could he provide for his otouto? Itachi would suffer but Sasuke would be okay.

Sasuke would be alright.

A silent sob racked his stressed body, the sense of loss beginning to consume him.

Sasuke would be okay, but Itachi would lose him.

Itachi pulled his legs closer to his body, hands clenched at his sides.

He would _lose_ Sasuke. He would _lose_ his parents. He would _lose_ Shisui.

A nearly inaudible pained choke caught in his throat.

He would lose them, and it would be all his fault.

Itachi groaned in despair, his body curling inward.

It would be his fault they'd be gone. His fault that he would lose them. His fault that they'd all be dead. Dead, because he killed him. Dead, because he couldn't convince them away from their own destruction.

A soft keening escaped his throat. Here he was, a war scarred, battle toughened ANBU, the current Uchiha heir, and prodigy. Here he was, crying like a baby. If someone was around he wouldn't have let himself crack.

He knew he wouldn't be able to convince his father. He knew it was futile to hope, because once Fugaku got an idea, he would stick with it until proven horribly wrong or the majority of the clan thought it was a bad idea, even then it was a matter of pride that held him to a decision. He was stubborn and didn't relinquish his hold. Everything Fugaku did was what he thought was best for the clan, his extended family, and his own. It was his way of caring for them, a really distant way. Itachi would have to stop his father. Stop him from destroying the entire clan. If someone else killed the clan, everyone would die. If he killed the clan, Sasuke would survive. He would kill the clan. He would hurt Sasuke so his brother could survive and be safe.

"For Sasuke," Itachi said to himself.

Sasuke would start the clan anew, without the corruption and plagued hate against their own village. Sasuke would become strong enough to lead a clan set for a rebirth. Itachi would make sure of that. Sasuke would be strong and safe, start a new family that he would transfer his love to. Sasuke would have a future, if he destroyed the clan and take all of Sasuke's hate to his own grave. He would deserve it anyway.

"I'll do it for Sasuke," Itachi repeated, his voice strained.

A young voice made itself known by saying, "you really love the teme don't you, Shinobi-san?"

If Itachi wasn't a ninja he would have startled, if he wasn't a highly trained shinobi he would have attacked the blonde boy next to him, staring with deep knowing blue eyes.

Itachi's face schooled into his expressionless mask, wondering how he could have missed the truly massive chakra signature the Kyuubi's jinchuriki possessed. He must've been more caught up in his own thoughts then he thought he was, it was shameful. How does someone of his caliber miss something so prominent?

"I care for my brother," Itachi said, his voice was steady and held no trace of the previous choking strain. His face pale and eyes only had the sting of a ghost tear.

The jinchuriki, Naruto, tilted his head in worry.

"Shinobi-san, you're destroying yourself," the little blonde said softly.

"What makes you think that, Naruto-kun?" Itachi asked, slightly unnerved by the calculating and understanding look the boy was sending him. Children were not meant to have a face like that. Especially children younger then his brother.

Naruto hummed in thought, "you have the face of a ninja about to be sent out on a suicide mission. And is close to accepting his fate."

Itachi stiffened slightly, it was close enough to what he would be doing. If not completely accurate. In the end of it, yes, he would end up dead with the rest of his clan. But then he wondered why the kid knew what that would look like on the face of a highly trained shinobi.

Itachi must not have been as good at hiding his curiosity as he thought he was, because Naruto shrugged and said, "I've seen more then you'd think."

Itachi was quiet, he didn't know what the blonde was referring to. It could be a number of things, but with what he had talked of before it was questionable. Itachi figured that very few truly knew how much Naruto knew.

"Itachi-san, things are going to get complicated for you if they haven't already. You understand and feel a stronger sense of justice then an average shinobi, it's one of the things that has made you so successful in the field. But, I don't think that it was the life you were meant to live," Naruto said.

Itachi's body inclined at his own name being used instead of "Shinobi-san". He could guess where the boy had learned his name. He hadn't given it, and the boy had known for who knows how long since he kept using "Shinobi-san" up until what he just said. He supposed he wasn't too hard to learn of, hard not to at least hear of the prodigy Uchiha. But the words the boy said were fascinating, he was indeed unhappy with being a killing machine. But that was his place, a forced place made by his father. He was good at it.

"In fact, I highly doubt that this was meant for you. But you seem to have given up your sense of individual worth. Since you have chosen to stick with this path. For, who I can speculate to be, your younger brother," Naruto looked him dead in the eye and said, "hurting yourself will bring the largest amount of pain onto Sasuke, perhaps not right away. He will probably be angry first, but he would be hurt beyond what you've set out to do to yourself when he learns he was the cause for you destroying yourself. It will eat him apart for years, and never leave his conscience."

Itachi felt unexplainably threatened by the boys words. It would be impossible for the child to know what was going on within his clan and the highest parts of their government. Still, he found himself wanting know what the boy knew, and his thoughts, "What makes you think he would learn?"

Naruto smiled wryly, "He will."

Itachi was slightly troubled by Naruto's look of foreknowledge. Like the little blonde knew exactly what he was talking about and what would happen.

"What if I prevent him from learning?" Itachi prompted, he felt like he was getting some of the puzzle pieces to the yellow haired, orange wearing, jigsaw puzzle. A puzzle rapidly getting bigger.

Naruto actually laughed a little, a bitter sort of laugh, "I don't believe in fate, but it's inevitable that he'll find out."

"I'll take it to my grave," Itachi said, fairly convinced that this would end Naruto's unnerving assurance. Death scared kids.

Naruto actually grimaced and looked away, "Uh, yeah, sure."

Itachi narrowed his eyes a fraction of a degree. The blonde knew something important.

"Naruto-kun, I think you know more then you let on," Itachi said.

Naruto smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, "Eh-heh, yeah? Uh, well, anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to join this _club_ I'm starting up."

Itachi was a little bemused by this. It was a _very_ obvious topic change, but something the blonde had to have been thinking about previously. How else did an unexplained and sudden invite to join a child's "club" come into conversation?

"What is this club?" Itachi asked. One puzzle piece at a time.

"A super exclusive club that has to be top secret," Naruto said seriously.

"Oh?" Itachi felt he was back to talking with a child, which was both surprisingly disappointing and relieving, "What do we do in this club?"

"We'll be the black ops of the black ops. Who's life long goal is to save the world from a chaotic destruction, and prevent humanity's enslavement from a crazy super villains and their sidekicks. A senile old woman and her plant son, an old guy that should be dead and his sidekick that only acts like an evil two year old on caffeine because he's brainwashed and can't handle grief," Naruto said strait faced, "of course there are a few other projects that need to be done, like a the prevention of the Drama Queen's army of ninja zombies coming to life, but that wouldn't concern your division."

Itachi really didn't think he processed that correctly, he could have sworn the child was serious and actually believed what he was saying. Then again, the kid was an excellent liar or his skills were getting bad under the stress of probably having to kill his family in the near future.

"You can think about it," Naruto said and got up from the ground, he patted the clinging grass off his rump and began walking away, "a position will always be open to you. So don't be afraid to pop out of the wood works in five or six years and say "hey Naruto, I'd _love_ to join your awesome gang of awesome world saving powerhouses; you were so right about that crazy super villain Drama Queen and his insane sidekick Lollipop Face. Sorry for doubting your sanity back there" or something like that. Of course I'll need to start getting the rest of us together before we become a full tilt secret organization of epic evil defeating people and beasties."

Naruto turned to look at Itachi's perplexed face, he grinned and said, "I'll take care of your brother while you're gone. Until next time, Itachi-san."

With that the short blonde disappeared from sight as he traveled into the woods, his chakra signature vanishing just as quickly.

Itachi stared on in shock. Past reasons for coming to the little clearing vanishing like smoke in his mind.

The boy couldn't have known what he was implying about his future mission, but with the skill to make a battalion's worth of jounin level chakra disappear without a trace was not something to laugh at. The kid had more beneath the surface then Konoha's reputation did.

* * *

**Itachi: …**

**Esparia: ...Heh?**

**Itachi: Did you assign me an emotional wreck chapter?**

**Esparia: ...I call it a grieving chapter.**

**Itachi: Grieving.**

**Esparia: What thirteen year old wouldn't have massive reservations for killing almost all the people they love and losing his close ones?**

**Itachi: …**

**Esparia: Don't give me that look. You are not emotionless, proven throughout your actions in all the chapters of the manga that you weren't a super evil brother villain. I made my own conclusions to the information given and the psychology books I've read. By the way, you're really screwed up in the head man...**

**Itachi: ...**


	12. Chapter 11

**Esparia: What's with all these bunnies? *shivering in corner***

**Anko: I think I told you about them before.**

**Esparia: I know, but all these plot bunnies...**

**Anko: Are eating away the story?**

**Esparia: Yeah, how did you know?**

**Anko: I've seen entire stories fall to plot bunny infestations. A horrible way for a story to fall.**

**Esparia: That can happen!**

**Anko: Only if you don't take care of the problem.**

**Esparia: How do I do that?**

**Anko: I think you kill a bunch of the suckers until you are left with a few.**

**Disclaimer: Esparia owns all the plot bunnies in this studio. They are up for adoption since they seem to reproduce faster then a tribble. Esparia doesn't own Naruto, nor the plot bunnies that belong to that series.**

**Esparia: But there are like fifty or sixty of them!**

**Anko: Writer problems. Reason I'm not a writer.**

**Jiraiya: *pats Esparia's back sympathetically* Try summoning a few giant toads to eat them. It works for me.**

**Esparia: ...**

Chapter Eleven

Don't Name Things Under the Influence of Apple Cider

September 5th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Making life effecting decisions is hard. Making life effecting decisions that could destroy the world's natural order and not able to seek advise from others that were in the same position as you is even harder. There is a lot of pressure involved with others' lives hinging on what you decide. It's the life of a leader to have this problem. However, leaders are typically recognized for trying to solve problems and can usually share problems that are too difficult for them with their advisers and trusted people. Time travelers (if that is what we are to be called) can't do that. I only have myself and a Creator whom I haven't heard from since the end of the beginning.

And then there are the memories...flitting through the recess if your mind.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

_The sky was bleeding its black petals._

_Wafts of smoke blew across the lonesome landscape._

_The blackened skeletons of what were once great trees creaked in the stiflingly hot air. _

_The gentle breeze brought the scent of death and burning decay from the ruins at the base of a cliff side._

_There was no sound._

_Just the silence of the ghosts of Konoha._

* * *

Naruto was walking down the streets of Konohagakure, the citizens glared his way and whispered obscene things about the little boy. If it had been directed at anyone else it would have been frowned upon and the person receiving it would feel immensely hurt. However, it was directed at the century old blonde five year old who had seen it all before. Long story short, Naruto didn't not pay any mind to the scowling citizens he's been trying to save for years. His mind was preoccupied with more important things then uncomfortable adults that had no qualm with bullying an orphan jinchuriki child.

Naruto had been thinking over the rather surprising scene he found in the forest a week ago. Over his hundred something years of living, he had seen many strange things that didn't always make sense. But a hysterical child Itachi that looked half delirious from mental and emotional exhaustion was not on the list of "seen it". The nuke-nin had always seemed like a generally stable man. Meaning Itachi never seemed to have doubts or indecision for the things he had done or was going to do. Seeing a kid version of the dangerous Uchiha break down, by Uchiha standards at least, was enough to send a bit of guilt Naruto's way. Guilt for not trying to stop a horrible massacre that really went beyond what was necessary action. Really the massacre was a bad idea that didn't really solve any problems. Politically the situation made little to no sense, outside of greed for power or old prejudices the motives for it were weak.

What it really came down to was inner manipulation on a lot of unstable people's parts. But how could he even intervene and prevent this idiocy? He wasn't exactly politically savvy, nor did he have much say at the given moment. He supposed he could pull title and rank on people to force them to see him, but nobody _listens _to children, let alone the pariah that most of the village though would snap and kill them all. Perhaps he could kill the instigators and be done with it, leaving the innocents in peace. Though then he'd be out of the village and having oi-nin after his hide wouldn't be the best thing. It wasn't like he hadn't tried to stop before; it just was never very successful. Although now that he was well acquainted with Itachi, new door were open to trying. At the moment he was hopefully giving Itachi a little clarity on the situation. Make him think through any strange orders more and hopefully realize something was amiss. Although he didn't like that it all rode on Itachi's shoulders to make the decision.

Stopping the massacre would be helpful in the future , although who knows what Danzo would do. That old war hawk collected eyes like a Trainer collected Pokemon. The geezer even stole one of Shisui's eyes while the man was still alive. Stealing eyes was weird and extremely unhealthy behavior, but strangely not uncommon from what he's seen. Then again, he's seen more strange occurrences then what was considered normal. But stealing an eye from a living man is something even Madara didn't do, and that's saying something. Shisui would be a powerful ally to have, and just a fake death away to boot. Naruto would have to think about that too.

Danzo, on the other hand, was an abusive creep still controlling half of the ANBU and brainwashing children. Perhaps an anonymous recommendation for a psyche evaluation would be a good idea. A Yamanaka mind walk and just a hop, skip, and a jump away from that man's destruction. A Yamanaka loyal to the Hokage of course, can't have Fuu doing the evaluation. That would backfire tremendously. But if Danzo got wind of it, the old geezer would probably kill all his "perfect warriors in training" and stash away his organizations misdeeds. The turd's power needed to go. The only way to get rid of his power was to get him out of whatever high position he held, but in order to do that Naruto needed to get rid of his army that backed him up. In order to get rid of the army that backed Danzo up, Naruto could either destroy it or Therapy Jutsu the daylights out of them. Naruto of course would try talking before killing, since he always had been that way. Of course, in order to use Therapy Jutsu, Naruto would have to infiltrate the ROOT headquarters and gain the Ne-nin's loyalty and trust. Easier said then done, impossible for anyone else. But Naruto wasn't known as the most unpredictable ninja for nothing.

"Move it fox boy," growled a spiky haired Uchiha, as he shoved passed Naruto along with his teammates.

Naruto let himself stumble but "caught" himself in time to turn around and glare at the genin team. His glare turned into a appeased grin when he saw that they were chasing after the Demon of the Alleys, the cat Tora. His grin widened when he heard the telltale yowl from Tora and yelp from the stiff faced Uchiha.

Naruto turned back around and continued walking to Ichiruka's Ramen Stand. A grin still plastered to his face, this time a little more genuine.

Sasuke had gotten beat up by Tora before; and for some unexplainable reason Naruto enjoyed watching the almighty Uchiha get beaten by a feline.

–

"_Your late Naruto," reprehended the prince of lateness._

"_Says the sensei who is three hours late for a team meeting," Naruto grumbled._

"_Maa maa, no need to point fingers," Kakashi drawled._

_Sasuke was getting impatient with the two and decided that he could take care of the mission on his own. The others, like he had predicted, only slowed him down._

"_Sasuke-kun!" Sakura exclaimed._

_Sasuke had jumped the cat on his own terms and was being mercilessly mauled by razor sharp teeth and claws. Ah, the impatience of a genius child._

_Kakashi slowly got up to help his cute little student, but stopped when he saw a certain pink haired girl hover around the impulsive boy. He wasn't needed. Naruto was hunched over laughing and laughed harder when the last Uchiha's ear was bitten clean through._

_Sasuke grunted in pain when the little white teeth pierced though his earlobe._

_The little wound would never heal quite right and was a continued source of pranking opportunities for Naruto. Ranging from fused hoop earrings Sasuke couldn't take off until a seal let up, to dangling jeweled flowers he couldn't feel. There were some laughs and some beatings for the later of the two._

–

Sasuke definitely wasn't pleased when he found a flower earring hanging from his ear. He seemed to get angrier then when he was under the cursed hickey's second form, which was pretty hard to do.

Naruto frowned a little. The cursed seal was both figuratively and literally a pain to deal with. He knew how to remove the little marks, but it took a lot out of both him and the person sealed. He would have to remove Anko's soon, something he would think about later. However he would have to get his control back up to workable standards, he didn't want to cook Anko alive. Today was supposed to be a relaxing day, a day where he wouldn't think or worry over all the world's future problems.

...Sasuke's seal was different then Anko's but was easier to remove since it was a little more complete. Orochimaru was a sociopathic pain in the rear with too much genius for his own good. No further thoughts were needed on him outside of getting rid of that nuisance Kabuto.

Akatsuki were semi-dormant at the moment, he could probably prevent them from forming completely. However that wouldn't let him know where the crazy Uchiha were. Locating an enemy when they were free to do as they please was hard to do. Akatsuki would help ground them. Naruto could probably recruit a few of the missing ninja involved with the organization. He would work on Konan and Nagato when he got the right chance. Information on _Tobi _would help get rid of half the problem. He had gotten Obito on his side once, he could do it again. Madara was a problem all on his own. He had come to the conclusion that there was some major demon possession going on with that man, it just wasn't natural.

Ugh, demons. It's all great and dandy when things only go wrong in the world of the physical. But then you throw in spiritual realm and things just turn ugly and complicated. Spiritual tampering was more dangerous then what most seemed to think. Honestly, what idiot thought it was a good idea to bring the "dead" back to the living? He would have to figure out how to deal with that later. Demons were not something to play with.

Then there was all his fellow jinchuriki along with all the other problems of the world. Kiri was in the pits, Suna had Kage issues, and don't even get him started on Nami.

Naruto could feel his frustration beginning to build at the amounting things he had failed at completing before. All the things he had to do and redo, and never being able to give up. To top off all these frustrations he was having a bad day. It was one of those days were everything just seemed to go wrong and the world thought it would be funny to keep tripping you. It started with a broken shower head that sprayed water all over the bathroom, then he had fallen down the stairs when he was done watching the sunrise from his father's head, then it had been a freak squirrel attack, a pigeon deciding to use his head as a toilet, and when he bumped into his wife he was forcefully thrown away by her guards who acted like their heiress was contracting leprosy from touching the "demon boy". Being shoved by a genin that later was attacked by Tora didn't make its way onto his bad list since petty revenge got the boy back. That to say, Naruto's day off from the world was not a good day and hardly relaxing.

With all the problems from the past futures adding up, he had the right to be a bit _annoyed_. He had to relax, that was the original plan anyway. Decompress from all the stress his five year old body couldn't handle. All he wanted to do was to hold his wife's hand and eat her homemade ramen, _a wife who was only five and no longer considered his wife_.

Naruto paused mid step, his face contorting with horror, "Hinata."

Naruto had realized that he didn't prevent her kidnapping and didn't stop Neji's father from being killed. What kind of friend let their past lives' friend's family die when it could have been stopped? What kind of husband doesn't save his wife from being kidnapped? He had already screwed up this Timeline and he hadn't even been there that long.

Naruto slumped a little as he continued walking mindlessly though the streets. He needed...he needed...he needed to plan better. Remember what he hadn't redone yet. That was the problem with this whole situation, after doing something so many times over, it'll be mentally noted as finished and not worried about again. Maybe he could organize the things he knew for sure wouldn't change as he changed the world. Well, there was the the Uchiha Massacre, Chunin Exam Invasion, the Valley of the End, a trip to Wave even if it wasn't a mission, and the attack on Suna for the Ichibi. That was about it as far as things not changing as the world changed. Hm, maybe a list of possibilities would be better.

Naruto decided he should probably think more on them somewhere where he wouldn't be disturbed. A place without people, preferably. He didn't want to go up to the Hokage monument, too many stairs. Itachi had basically taken over his creek, he would've sworn the boy didn't move from that spot if it wasn't for the continuous change of clothing. His apartment had Emiko, she popped in at random times. He didn't want to scare everyone out of the park besides a jounin or chunin would usually kick him out. The forest had squirrels. Training ground forty four was currently occupied by a very smart and very scary snake mistress, who had nearly caught him a few times. Then there was memorial stone, which was a big no no since a certain scarecrow haunted the place.

Naruto grumbled a bit to himself before "The Figurative Light Bulb of Ideas" flickered to life above his head. His father had a "workshop" that would be perfect for walking through a mindscape without interruption. He hadn't been there for Timelines, it couldn't be used for much since it lacked plumbing and electricity. It wasn't much of a place really, more of a room that you could use to safely destroy faulty seals. Sound proof, spacious, virtually indestructible, and seals kept if from leaking chakra. Chakra couldn't be sensed emitting from the room, but you couldn't sense chakra from the outside when you were in it either. Both a good and bad thing at times.

Naruto decided he would go to that room and plan, even though he had planned on taking the day off from worrying about his responsibility as a time traveler.

"Forget relaxing," Naruto grumbled, "there are more important things I need to do. The world isn't about to save itself."

He had gotten a few weird looks that had once been glares, but he didn't notice this since he was too busy planning on taking the entire day to plan. Sounds like a strange thing to plan, planning on planning. But never the less, Naruto decided he would spend the rest of the day in the windowless room.

Naruto ducked into a back alleyway and a clone popped into existence already in a basic henge. Naruto walked around the "old man" checking for any blurriness or holes in the not quite illusion. He had decided that his primary henge would be his solid and true transformation type, which he discovered in the first Timeline when creating his Oiroke no Jutsu. He had outgrown the use of that jutsu by the time he was married, but he found its basic properties effective. The original henge, which everyone learned in the academy, was his secondary type that he rarely used. Any ninja worth their weight in salt knew how to see past a henge, especially within their own village. Yet he came across the occasional jounin that honestly couldn't tell. It was usually around the time he was an older kid or young teenager that this was most common. Laziness and rusty skills were something all to familiar in peace times.

Naruto nodded to his clone and handed him a small wad of money, "go buy some food and grab the cleaning supplies. You know what to get."

The clone nodded before sedately walked out of the alley with a slight limp in his right leg and the sound of a well loved cane clacking away.

Naruto scanned the area a moment before doing a quick shunshin with a steaming bowl of ramen where he once stood. Leaves were overrated; besides, if you could manipulate the excess and usually wasted chakra into leaves. Why not leave ramen for the next hungry soul, like that stray cat?

Naruto poofed into existence outside a well concealed door. With a few fluxes in chakra and a drop of blood, he was keyed in and could walk into his father's "workshop". He cracked the door open and stuck his hand in. He focused on his his chakra a little before letting it turn a dark red, not so different from the Kyuubi's outside of it being completely his. Naruto formed a small ring of this dark red chakra and tossed it in before slamming the door shut.

A few seconds later Naruto formed his chakra in his hand again. This time it was tangerine in color. With his other hand he began pulling at it until it made a large fishing net like structure with thousands of bubbles along the "string". Naruto opened the door again and threw his "bubble net" over the rising smoke. Once all the smoke left the room he waved the bubble net around a few times and released it. The small orange bubbles were filled with ash that had been filtered from the air. The ash fell to the earth with nothing to support it and would soon become part of the dirt.

Naruto walked into dark room and lit his hand up like a blue glow stick. Naruto made four more clones pop into existence and light up their own hands. With that done he let his hand fade back to normal and explored the room a bit. It was bigger then he remembered, perhaps a good ten cubic meters. Ashes littered the floor where old tags and traps had once been. Last time he was here he had missed a tag and got a face full of old sludgy peanut butter. It was better to just light everything up and not worry about it later.

He heard the sound of his clone's feet come from outside, the place was only soundproof if the door wasn't open.

The clone was carrying groceries and a bag of cleaning supplies along with a broom strapped to his back.

Two more clones poofed to life and took the broom and bag before making quick work of the place. They started in a corner and moved out toward the door. The old man clone gave him the groceries and disappeared with a small poof.

Naruto blinked away the new set of memories and went to the clean corner with his food in hand and made himself comfortable. Two of the glow-hand clones walked outside and became squirrels. They would watch out for anything that warranted the door to be closed. One would destroy himself to alert the main Naruto and the other would destroy himself when the coast was clear.

Naruto pulled out some of the food and drinks his clone had bought. He ate a granola bar and drank a small thing of apple cider before he closed his eyes and let himself slip into his mindscape.

–

Loud snoring echoed down the sewers of Naruto's mind. Naruto smiled at the occasional gekkering sounds coming from his monster fox.

"_Ack-ack...ack-ack-ackawrr..." _the large beast in Naruto's mindscape yelped.

Naruto chucked a bit before walking away from the beast and towards his eight rooms. He bypassed the seven memory chambers and entered the time council's room.

He was surprised to find his other selves already sitting in their chairs.

They all turned to look at him, which would have been unnerving if he didn't already know what they were all thinking. Since they were basically him.

Naruto walked over to his chair and sat down, empty scrolls and full ink bottles were scattered on his desk.

There was a silence in the room, all of them waiting for someone to speak first.

Finally after a good minute was wasted the sickly Naruto dressed as a Ne-nin said, _"welcome back."_

One of the Narutos rolled his eyes and grumbled, _"it's not like he left. You can't leave your own mind."_

The oldest Naruto sighed in exasperation at his younger form.

The current Naruto cleared his throat and said, _"as I'm sure you are all aware of. We missed Kumo's attempt at kidnapping our wife."_

"_Great job," _the same grumbling Naruto said sarcastically,_ "no really. You did a fantastic job at protecting your own. You'll do just as good of a job in the future. I'm sure Gaara will end up fine if we do the same thing we did with Hinata. Neji might even live if we continue doing what we're doing or maybe he won't. Who knows, maybe if we continue doing nothing, everything will just be fine and dandy. Everyone will die and we can just stop being alive and living a useless and repetitive life."_

The six year old Naruto's lip quivered, _"that isn't very nice..."_

The oldest Naruto got up and smacked his twelve year old self, _"shut it you immature pessimistic bully. We don't have time for this. What we need to do it plan, like he is here to do. So, Naruto, any ideas?"_

All the Narutos looked at each other then at their oldest form, in sync they asked, _"which one were you talking to?"_

The twenty three year old grimaced, _"well, I was addressing the current Naruto, but I think we should be named. Both because talking to each other won't cause mental confusion and headaches, and because it'll sound a little saner."_

They all looked at each other before nodding in agreement.

The six year old raised his hand.

The Twenty three year old pointed to the six year old and asked, _"yes, Naruto?"_

The most recent failed Timeline Naruto grinned and asked, _"do we get to choose our own names?"_

A few made faces of confusion, the sixteen year old cleared his throat and asked, _"do you mean the individual Naruto choose his own name, the current Naruto chooses our names, or the original chooses our names?"_

The young Naruto scratched his bloody forehead and said, _"individual Timeline Narutos choose their own?"_

The current Naruto nodded his approval, _"as long as they aren't stupid names and the others agree that it's a good name."_

The original Naruto from the first Timeline stood up, _"I guess I'll go first."_

"_Why do you get to go first?" _grumped the twelve year old Naruto.

The sickly Naruto coughed into his glove, _"because we're going in chronological order. You'll be third, so use this time to come up with a good name."_

With the third Naruto appeased, the nineteen year old Naruto continued, _"I'll be...Hajime."_

The twelve year old snorted, _"Origin? It fits you perfectly."_

"_Oh hush," _said the married Naruto, _"it's my turn."_

The twelve year old huffed, _"what are you going to call yourself, Jiro or maybe Hisao-jiji?"_

The second Naruto glared, _"I was thinking more along the lines of Koji."_

The third snorted again, _"like that's any better."_

The Naruto now named Koji shook his head and said, _"well it's your turn. Pick a name."_

"_I'll be called Bishamon," _declared the third Naruto.

A few of the younger Narutos snickered, Koji sighed, _"I think you should pick a different name."_

The current Naruto laughed, _"Bishamon is a stupid name. Choose something else."_

The twelve year old wasn't pleased but changed his name anyway, _"Mitsuo."_

"_Third male? Fits you perfectly," _mocked Hajime, letting a hint of childishness take him, _"are you sure you don't want to be named Ryuji? That would fit even better."_

Mitsuo flushed red, _"that was not my fault."_

The fourth Naruto raised an eyebrow, _"really, I recall it being you who decided to see what would happen if you lit a gas stove on fire and died in a burst of chakra flames."_

Mitsuo sunk into his chair and rubbed his wrist, _"at least I wasn't gutted like a fish."_

The fourth Naruto glared and said, _"at least you died quickly."_

"_Will you two just calm down, Naruto still needs a new name. So until this naming is done, Ryuji, be quiet," _said Hajime.

Mitsuo sulked, _"It's Mitsuo."_

The fourth Naruto smiled and said, _"I'll be Shiro."_

The current Naruto slammed his head on his desk, _"I swear I would've claimed I was a more creative person then this. Do my pranks mean nothing?"_

The ex-ROOT-member shifted in his seat, he had planned on continuing the trend and say Goro, but decided against saying it in favor of saying, _"Call me Taku."_

The current original nodded in approval, _"thank you Taku. At least he has good taste in names."_

Hajime scratched the back of his head, _"Not my fault they liked my idea."_

The six year old Naruto then yelled, _"I wanna be Rokuro!"_

"_No," _the seventh Naruto said.

"_But-"_

"_No."_

The not going to become Rokuro pouted and said, _"Fine, I'll be...uhm..."_

"_How about Noriyuki?" _asked Koji.

"_Okay," _agreed the six year old.

The remaining "Naruto" sighed, _"Now that we are done with that-"_

A rush of memories bombarded them.

"_Someone is coming," _said Taku, a slight cough shook his frail body, _"it seems to be an Uchiha."_

"_Arg, can't I go a day without seeing an Uchiha?" _Naruto asked rhetorically.

Mitsuo couldn't help but comment, _"Not while they're still alive."_

"_Do you ever shut up?" _asked Shiro.

Mitsuo smirked, _"no."_

* * *

**((Name used in this chapter and their meanings...**

**Hajime- First, Origin, Beginning**

**Jiro- The Second Male**

**Hisao- Long Lived Man**

**Koji- Ruler, Happy Second Son**

**Bishamon- The Japanese god of war**

**Mitsuo- Third Male, Shining Man**

**Ryuji- Dragon Man**

**Shiro- Fourth Born Son**

**Goro- Fifth Son**

**Taku- Content**

**Rokuro- Sixth Son**

**Noriyuki- Example of Happiness**

**-ones you might know because Kishimoto loves puns-**

**Naruto- Maelstrom, or literally the naruto fish cakes found in ramen**

**Itachi- Weasel**

**Shisui-Still water or water death**

**Kakashi-Scarecrow (add Hatake and wait...what's this? Your scarecrow is evolving into a Field Scarecrow!)**

**Sakura- Cherry blossom trees, in the dictionary it's translated also as decoy and horse meat**

**Sasuke- Help assistance...or warrior...he's the lucky one that doesn't have a pun in his name.))**

**Esparia: Definitely my longest chapter yet, and yes...I made name jokes. Shame me all you want. But opportunity knocked and I couldn't help but answer.**

**Opportunity: Yo. *raises glass of apple cider to readers***

**Esparia: Yeah, good. I'm done with this chapter. There was excess amount of new names that really don't matter. But the Timeline's names (Hajime, Koji, Mitsuo, Shiro, Taku, and Noriyuki) will be easier to remember over time. They'll play a big part later.**


	13. Chapter 12

**Esparia: I felt so hyper when writing this, I blame it being lack of sleep and sudden stress free moment alone time. I'm so crashing later.**

**Disclaimer: Esparia doesn't actually own these characters, contrast to popular belief. Esparia does own her imagination that decided to play with these characters, and decided to present it to you.**

**Esparia: Mwahaha...**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

I'm Here and I'm There

September 30th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Sometimes I sit back and think about the situation I'm in. I time traveled. People are always going on about what they would do if time travel was real, what they'd do to change all these problems, how they wouldn't waste their time and get right to fixing things, and how everything would just fall into place because you know..._when you change the past everything stays the same so you can continue fixing things_. What they don't seem to understand is, oh what did Shikamaru call it...the Choji...effect? No. That was the Butterfly Effect. The Butterfly Effect, the phenomenon where a small change in one place in a complex system can have a large effect somewhere else, like when you drop a stone into a pond. The pond will ripple, but the ripples will grow as they get farther away. Similar to the chaos theory. The idea that our world, a complex and highly sensitive system, will be effected the slightest change in conditions. The minuscule difference can then bring strikingly great consequences.

For example, in my fifth life I had tried flexing my chakra to successfully neutralize Obito's own chakra. I was a baby at the time and did some really painful things to my own chakra pathways. However, it caused the Hokage to be worried enough about the Kyuubi to give in to Danzo's requests. Danzo took me in and raised me to be a tool for the good of Konoha. Raised to kill my emotions and whoever I was assigned to kill. I spent nearly my entire life inside the walls of Root. Sai, ironically, being my closest friend and comrade. Shin was a close second. My closest friends, both died along side me. Shin was gone. Then Sai. Then I left...died because I changed the world to much to early.

But just me being here will cause a ripple. Because of my unconscious decisions in what to say in conversation, opinions will change. Opinions, ideas, thought processes change. Thought processes, actions, words change. Actions, reactions change. New reactions cause new thought processes. New thought processes, actions, words change. And we continue around the cycle until the actions become greatly different. Dates will change, plans will change, the world will change. This is Chaos Theory.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Naruto grumbled and woke up from his mindscape. He rubbed his fist across his eyes and turned to the clones, "which Uchiha is it?"

The four clones shrugged in sync, none knowing more then their original.

Naruto's eye twitched, he only wanted to peacefully make plans with no interruptions. But it was like some greater force was purposely making his life harder then it should have been. **((Esparia: Mwahaha))**

Naruto pointed to one of the cleaning clones, "you dispel and tell the last squirrel to find actual information on this Uchiha. Your partner, glow hand clone number two,will change into an average bird and track the Uchiha down to keep an eye on what he or she does, along with learning what he or she wants."

"Yes Boss!" the two clones shouted before one dispelled and the other flew out the door. Ah, the beauty of full body transformations.

Naruto rubbed his forehead, "why is it always an Uchiha? I swear they stalk me more then my ANBU guards do, but not nearly as bad as the Hunter Ninja. They were horrible. Prank their headquarters once and suddenly you're being watched closer then an S-rank nuke-nin doing the polka in the Kage's office. Lesson learned: pranking ANBU is okay, but with Oi-nin you shouldn't play."

Naruto's rambling was cut short by his scouter squirrel clone's memories, who had just dispelled via enemy kunai. Naruto scrunched his face in annoyance, "confirmed Uchiha, male, black hair, and a ninja...oh that's _very_ helpful. Seriously, my clone couldn't even-"

His bird clone was just killed by a certain black haired, Uchiha shinobi. The only information he got was that the Uchiha had good aim and great chakra sensing prowess.

Naruto's eye twitched, bad days happened to everyone. Today was just his turn for a bad day, he would last and in a day or two everything would be fine. However, this thought did little to ease Naruto's growing stress level. Always the optimist he tried looking on the bright side of things, "I have an Uchiha stalking my trail and getting closer, well at least things can't get worse off. I mean that would just be-"

A creaking groan and a solid bang resounded in the large room. Naruto stilled and slowly turned to the last cleaning clone, a small amount of blood lust seeped into the air. There were times when the world liked to spit your own words back in your face. It happens, and even an optimist will acknowledge some things just don't have a bright.

The clone's eyes widened and turned to the original Naruto, "I- uh, I thought we should shut the door. You know, so the Uchiha doesn't find us?"

"I seemed to have forgotten, remind me," Naruto's plastic grin was plastered to his face, "what happened to "Koji" when he came here in the second Timeline?"

The clone shrunk into himself, "Uh, he shut the door behind him?"

Naruto nodded, "Mhm, and what happened after that?"

The clone scuffed his shoe against the now cleaned and polished floor. Head bowed he mumbled, "he got locked inside for a few hours, until he completely blew up Dad's man cave."

"That's right, and do you know the problem with this solution?" Naruto asked himself.

"We don't have enough control to get out of a blast alive or unscathed?" He answered, trying to put as much distance between him and the Boss.

"Correct," Naruto said with some grossly fake happiness, Naruto was not pleased, "we don't have anyone on the outside to get us out. We can't escape ourselves, else being crushed by debris or our chakra will rebound and fry us alive. Those seals prevent chakra from escaping, that means no shunshin. We can't reverse seal to dad's seals. We don't have toads, since we haven't resigned the contract. Nobody knows where we are, since our trail was erased along the way. They can't feel our chakra. Kyuubi won't help us. Jiji's magic ball has been confiscated for a week, for reasons you can guess. We have a little food and apple cider, but that will be useless if we die of suffocation. Do you see our problem now?"

Grasping at strings the clone said, "maybe the Uchiha will-"

"That Uchiha was following our chakra signature. A signature, which might I remind you, is now blocked by seal enhanced 275 cm thick stone walls. Our signature suddenly disappeared, what do you think he's going to do? Look around the area for a ninja already long gone?"

The glow hand clone shifted his weight, "we still have the clone that Emiko is watching over."

Naruto turned to his less stupid clone, which wasn't actually any smarter then the other, "How do you propose we get the clone to come to us? It won't matter that we know the problem if we can't tell him what's going on. He only has so much chakra to spend before he dissolves into nothing, by the time he figures out that we have a problem he would have spent the majority of it and probably won't make it here since Uchiha-san has a tendency to kill clones."

The clones were silent and Naruto was getting his "unhappy Hokage" tone when he calmly said, "This room is ten cubic meters. Ten cubic meters. The average human breathes one cubic meter of air an hour. Now, we can reuse some of the air for these ten cubic meters of air to last a day. However, even though we have a small body that takes less air, you need to remember that this is still just stale air. In short, you unthinking and incompetent clone, you've basically killed me. Making me the youngest to die at five. You've set my life to end in about a day's time; we have one day before we are once again thrown back and into the_ eighth_ Timeline."

"We could still try to escape," the clone hesitantly offered the idea.

"I'd rather fall asleep and not wake up instead of remembering being crushed and become the butt of a bad joke. Ryuji has enough of that."

"_Mitsuo," _the third Timeline Naruto's grumbling echoed in Naruto's mind.

_'That was weird,'_ Naruto thought, _"Mitsuo?"_

"_Yes. That's my name," _his twelve year old self grumbled and rolled his eyes.

The clone that shut the door was a little nervous. He knew that when he (the main Naruto) was silent and frowned, it was either because he ate some bad food, was thinking over something he didn't understand, or because he was thinking of an exceptionally unpleasant person that would soon meet his Boss's wrath. Either way, the clone figure, his boss was not in the best of moods. It didn't happen often, but when it he got angry, it wasn't usually a good ending. The clone was worried.

Naruto was contemplating the strange phenomenon of having multiple versions of himself running free in his head. It was strange indeed to have more then one self. Were they even the same entity?

"_Yes, as strange as you are. You are the future me. Just as all of the others are us," _Mitsuo grunted.

"_A strange effect from splitting your memories up to ease handling?" _Shiro contemplated, joining the conversation. The fourth Naruto was trying to mentally sew the large hole in his shirt. The sixteen year old was getting increasingly frustrated. He had died with a large hole torn in his torso, and still had that to show for his 'being'. He died that way and was probably going to stay that way.

Naruto's face scrunched up in confusion, _"so are all of us in my mind?"_

"_It appears so," _Shiro answered, giving up his tailoring, _"though we seem to be separated by our Timeline. Memories and feelings of the others don't effect our 'persona'. However, we all make up you. So you are basically all of us condensed into one, I think."_

"Great," Naruto shook his head, _'It wasn't like having two entities live in the same mind was bad enough. But now there are eight.'_

"_At least it's only you and a fox," _Shiro said, _"it could always be worse."_

Mitsuo sniffed indignantly, _"I'm trapped in a the mind of my future child self with five other losers and an angry, humanity hating, father killing fox."_

"_And you wonder why the fox didn't like you, and you have the guts to complain? Might I remind you how I died? Imagine being cut open and your intestines played with by your best friend's body," _Shiro snarled, _"now imagine being the one to gut your best friend but unable to do anything because you're possessed by an unstable snake sannin that you had to share mind with. So before you start complaining about sharing a mind with yourself and a chakra beast, think how lucky you are that you don't have to share a mind with Orochimaru or Madara."_

Naruto was quiet while he watched himself fight with himself before he asked, _"is this multiple personality disorder, insanity, or what?"_

"_Hn, crazy ninja," _Mitsuo said, his prepubescent voice sounding more whiny then usual.

The sixteen year old rolled his eyes and said, _"You sound like an Uchiha. Sakura-san once said she had an 'inner self', maybe it's something like that."_

"_Or he's gone bananas," _Mitsuo said, glancing to the fourth Naruto, _"and you are just a figment of our imagination trying to trip me up."_

"_If I'm just his imagination gone wild, then so are you. Why would he imagine you? You're worse then academy arrogant Sasuke," _Shiro snidely said.

"_Maybe he needed to put his frustration somewhere," _Mitsuo snarled, offended by his other self's words. He was not like Sasuke,_ "and I manifested in it's place. Things like that don't disappear without a trace. Besides, I don't see what's so special about you. All you did was be average and died a stupidly painful death.."_

"_I have you know, you little shrimp, that death may have lasted five minutes. But it was five minutes of pure torture. While the second's lasted the longest, mine was the most painful!"_

Koji's older voice hummed and said, _"don't drag me into this."_

"_Pff, you think your death was painful?" _Mitsuo scoffed,_ "How painful do you think conflicting seals are? Hm? Do you know why iryo-nin need so much training? They have to know how to insert their chakra without conflicting with the other person's chakra else a wound would become worse and burn. Chakra fire, not fire natured chakra, chakra fire is made from conflicting and mixing chakra. Seals are packed full of chakra from the sealer or sealers. Which is why they are so dangerous. Dangerous enough that seals that are forced together that shouldn't go together will cause them to destroy each other. What happens when seals get destroyed? They release their trapped chakra. The Kyuubi's chakra was released, Minato made the seal so his chakra was released, Orochimaru's curse seal released his chakra, and mine was already there. It's bad for two separate chakra types to mingle, especially biju chakra. Jinchuriki can attest to that. But it's an entirely new type of bad when there is two kage chakra levels, one of those being horribly corrupt, royal Uzumaki chakra of a high level, and the strongest biju's chakra all mingling and conflicting. What do you suppose will happen to the body that happened to hold all four?"_

A six year old sniffled in Naruto's mind, his eyes a little teary. The sixth Naruto remembered what they went through, but by no means was it him that it happened to. He was still, in memory age and mentality, a six year old child. Six years didn't amount to much alone, it was only when added to more years of experience did mental age growing actually show.

"_I don't like dying,"_ Noriyuki, Naruto's child self, said, _"it hurt. P-please stop."_

The two older Narutos stopped fighting and Naruto decided to use the pause to ask a question that was nagging the back of his mind.

_"Do you have free will?"_ Naruto asked, physically scratching the back of his head. His cleaning and glow hand clones were a little puzzled by his action, but decided he must've been having a confusing chat with the fox.

The past Narutos shrugged Koji said, _"No, but maybe we could project to a clone and separate ourselves."_

Naruto nodded, "_if that worked, we could try projecting to the clone on the outside. Let's test it, it's not like we have anything to lose."_

Koji, the oldest Naruto who had the most experience with new clone design, suggested, _"we should try to make a clone specifically meant for one of us. Like that Kyuubi clone we tried to make in the second Timeline, but solely one of us instead of a crazy hybrid of us. There was a reason that clone had problems and I'd rather not be stuck in a room with a homicidal clone. It might be more successful because we are technically the same person. If it works, the Naruto projected will experiment with the mental link or mind extension. Have him expel and see what happens. Death is possible. If that works, we'll try to take over a clone that already exists."_

Naruto nodded, _'great, so who wants to go first?'_

"_I'll go," _Taku, the sickly Naruto, said.

_'Okay,'_ Naruto thought and pressed his palms together and slowly spread them apart. With his palms facing each other and a good three feet apart, Naruto concentrated on the fifth Naruto and focused his chakra into the right form before a large poof of smoke erupted between his hands.

The cleaning clone startled so bad that he expelled himself. The glow hand's eyes widened.

Naruto peaked up at the clone in front of him and smiled. At least one thing went right today.

Before Naruto stood a seventeen year old version of himself. Taku was thin and pale with discolored patches of skin in seemingly random places. His eyes were sunken and easily adjusted to the dim light. His protruding bones were obvious beneath the black crop top that was like Sai's; the gloves did little to hide his gaunt hands. He had a sickly air about him, but also the air of strength. This Naruto was in almost every physical sense weak, outside of the disease and malnourished enough that it killed him. The past Naruto glanced around with paled eyes and hummed in thought.

"_It seems my thoughts are my own," _Taku said, _"I can't mentally hear you or the others. I'll try linking."_

Naruto glanced at Taku when he heard his voice telepathically say, **"This seems to work out fine. It'll help later on. We'll need to figure out the distance it stops working at."**

"_It sounded a little like biju talking, without the note of thoughts. Different," Naruto said, "let me check if you're still in my head."_

Naruto closed his eyes and went to the door labeled Time Council. He opened it and walked inside to see all six Narutos there. Taku's self was a little transparent and was sitting still, not moving an inch. He looked to be in some sort of non-breathing comatose like state.

Naruto approached the still figure and poked his boney cheek. Taku's mouth twitched.

"**I felt a tap on my conscious just now, similar to when Kurama wants to talk for extended periods. I'm going to try going to your mindscape,"** Taku's voice echoed the around the room.

The Root ninja's eyes blinked open in Naruto's mindscape. He was still transparent.

"_This is fun and all," _Mitsuo said, _"but can we see if we die or not when we dispel?"_

Naruto left his mindscape and was soon followed by Taku.

Taku bashed his head nonchalantly against the wall and dispelled. Not long afterward, Naruto could feel Taku open his eyes again.

"_It worked fine," _Taku announced, once again in a solid form in his mind.

Noriyuki, the sixth Naruto, started jumping up and down and exclaimed, _"Me next! Me next!"_

Naruto clapped his hands and spread them out before a six year old with bright blue eyes poofed into existence. The six year old was excitedly grinning and showing off a missing front tooth. He wore pajamas with cartoon frogs on it. This Naruto had been killed in the middle of the night, unable to stop the assassination because of his weaker body. He had died in his pajamas, so still had them on. The deep wound in his head, where he had been stabbed and the cause of his death, still had wet blood slowly dribbling down his face. The crusty blood around the wound made his innocently joyful expression seem slightly disturbing. Naruto decided he'd have to figure something out for that.

Mitsuo sighed, _"try sending us all out, see if you die."_

Naruto grimaced, his third past self was a little too apathetic about his death. Naruto decided to slowly clap his mind out into the room. He also decided to get Taku back first, who slowly made his way to a wall and began inspecting the seals around the room. Noriyuki's smaller body bounded up to the older Naruto and came up to Taku's waist, watching intently as the older version looked around.

With Narutos five and six in the room, the glow hand clone felt insignificantly nondescript in the current Naruto's normal t-shirt and shorts. As he was thinking this and Naruto was going to make Shiro, the fourth Naruto, appear; a loud clanking came from the closed door.

The clones tensed when they realized none of them were fiddling with it, someone of the outside was. The clones quickly disappeared in case it was going to be friendly help. They were just a "poof" away from helping if it was a hostile.

The door creaked again before a sliver of light could be seen in the now pitch black room.

"Is someone in here?" A masculine voice called from the outside.

Naruto was stunned at the idea of actually being able to escape going to the eighth Timeline early, before he considered the possibilities. It could either be an ally or an enemy shinobi, but either way he'd get out if he announced his presence. He'd decide what to do from there, he wasn't much of a planner anyway.

"Yes, I'm trapped," he answered the voice, making himself as childish and scared as possible. Children would usually be pretty scared in this sort of situation.

There was some scuffling outside the door before the man said, "I'll get you out, don't worry. Stand back from the door, I'm going to blast the door open."

"Okay," Naruto said as he got as far away from the door. There was a pause and a blast of fire before the door was slammed inward. Naruto would have to fix that later.

The figure strode into the room, his figure set in a relaxed but ready stance. Just in case the childish voice he heard turned out to be an enemy.

Naruto's eyes widened at the man and said, "it's you?"

* * *

**Esparia: I'll leave off here. I hit my word count mark for each chapter, and if I told you who it was then I'd have to have all this dialogue and make it like 2000 words longer. Besides, who doesn't like a drab cliffhanger?**

**Readers: ...we all hate you.**

**Esparia: I know, I know, the last chapter, this chapter, and now the next chapter were all supposed to cover this stuff within one chapter. Plans change, characters run away with the story, and I still have a plot bunny infestation I need to clear.**

**Readers: ...we hate you.**

**Esparia: Thanks guys, really. It warms my heart. You'll just have to wait for next week. Unless it's far enough in the future that the next chapter is already up...**

**Readers: ...we hate you.**

**Esparia: ...**


	14. Chapter 13

**Esparia: *peeks out of the thinking closet where hardcore thinking takes place*AH! *ducks behind fourth wall from flying fruit* Alright! Alright! Look, look, it's a new chapter. Go read the chapter. I even made it longer then all the other ones. GO READ!**

**Disclaimer: Esparia doesn't own anything but the imagination that worked to create this and a few physical items. Naruto is not one of them.**

**Esparia: I feel like I haven't done anything in this story but introduce people and build characters. It's like there are plot bunnies with not plot. What is this?**

**Plot bunny: We're on strike for plot bunny abuse.**

**Esparia: ...dang it. I never should have let them join unions.**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

A Test

October 1st, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Fate must really like me or really hate me. Today has possibly been one of the strangest ones since I've gotten this notebook. Out a series of events I've successfully begun my plan for my "anti-world domination and destruction of evil organizations" club. Technically I had already invited Itachi, but now that I actually have the beginnings of an organization things can start happening. A new and permanent minion.

But now, I just have to test him. Prevent any security leakage. Speaking of which, my minion is unknowingly spilling the beans to the old man.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

"It's you?" Naruto asked, eyes widening at the man before him.

"Do I know you?" asked the shinobi, looking down at Naruto with confusion in his dark eyes, "you don't look familiar."

Naruto mentally shook himself out of his surprise, he didn't expect being able to come in contact with the man. But never let it be said Naruto didn't take opportunities that came walking through the door, or more closely to busting through the door. Naruto tilted his head and squinted his eyes as if studying him; which he was but not the by appearance, he was looking at the man's body language.

"I don't think so, but you probably know _of _me," Naruto said, the last part of his sentence came out quieter. He looked up and down the man again before he declared, "you look like Sasuke-teme. 'cept without the poofy hair that sorta looks like a duck's rump or _really bad_ bed head."

In the face of unfamiliar people, never give away information until they had proven worthy of trust. Especially in a ninja village. It was better to appear as innocent as possible. Naruto knew he was no where near strong enough to defeat a powerful shinobi if things went wrong. He had enemies inside and outside the village, he had yet to place what this man was to him.

The Uchiha smiled down at Naruto, "We're from the same clan. What's your name squirt?"

Naruto looked up at him in mock suspicion, calculating blue eyes searching black before he grinned and jabbed a finger to his chest, "Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto, future Hokage of the Leaf! What's your name Uchiha-san?"

Shisui looked startled before he smiled and said, "Uchiha Shisui."

Shisui's mind was racing, trying to figure out why the jinchuriki would be outside the village's walls. At first, he thought it could've been an impostor. But no one can simply pretend to have a jinchuriki's worth of Kyuubi chakra running within their own pathways. Plus it was just idiotic to pretend to be a child outside, alone, in forest, and locked in an earth home without windows. Where were his ANBU guards? As an ANBU himself, Shisui knew that they wouldn't just leave their job. If they assumed that Shisui would just take care of the issue, it was poor planning on their part. Perhaps it was a sort of test to see how he, as an Uchiha, would react to the Jinchuriki. Tch, typical.

Naruto scratched the back of his head in true embarrassment, "thank you Shisui-san, for getting me out of me secret hideout. Haha! I haven't gotten around to fixing the door so..."

"No problem, it's my duty as a shinobi of the leaf to look out for the citizens. So this is your secret hideout?" Shisui asked, turning his head in an exaggerated look around the room. A look around that would make any self respecting ninja cringe but acknowledge it for the show it is. It comforted the civilians and young ones to visibly be looking at the things they presented. Being the elite shinobi Shisui was he had already taken in the room. A large dark room, cleared out by recent use of said young one in front of him, a small pile of cleaning supplies and the bleach scent indicating it was recently cleaned. A small pile of food and other knickknacks kids carried around were in a separate pile.

Naruto was standing halfway in the dark room and cautiously making his way toward Shisui. He had always heard good things about the man, but didn't know him like he would've if the man lived longer. So he was going to be careful. He didn't know if Shisui recognized the whole "the kunai sealed in the scroll does not make the scroll a kunai" concept for the jinchuriki.

"Nai, Shisui-san. How did you find me?" Naruto asked when he was close enough to be polite, but far enough to flee in case the Uchiha decided he'd play hero and "finish the Yondaime's work". It was purely instinct ingrained in years of living surrounded by spiteful villagers and unstable ninja.

"I felt your chakra signature over here and decided to drop by," Shisui said, _'a very large signature that could've easily been an enemy.'_

"Oh," Naruto said and nodded sagely, "you must be a shinobi. Just like Uchiha-shinobi-san!"

"You got it squirt. But I'm not just any ninja, I'm the coolest and most awesome ninja of them all," Shisui said proudly, mentally storing away the fact that the jinchuriki knew another Uchiha. Shisui wasn't afraid to admit to himself that meeting the kid whose file had reported him being "loud, inattentive, hyperactive, possible case of ADD, unintelligent, and disturber of the peace" and had the strongest biju in his stomach was a little strange. Meeting a five year old with a biju that could potentially break out at any moment and make the child go insane in the middle of the forest was a little unexpected, and slightly unnerving when realizing he was the only one around that could stop a rampage and would likely die if it came to that. No amount of ANBU guards could stop an insane and angry jinchuriki.

Said supposedly _"loud mouthed"_ child was also silent. Which was disturbing. If he wasn't standing in front of the kid and he hadn't said anything to Shisui earlier, it would be hard to believe there was even there in the first place. No sound came from the kid, no rustle of clothing from movement or the harsh breathing from the fear of being trapped in an underground room.

After a long awkward silence Shisui asked, "so, what are you doing way out here...by yourself, _alone_?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Naruto replied, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at Shisui. It was sad, to Shisui, that a child would be suspicious of a simple question and a Konoha citizen.

"Mission," Shisui replied and looked around the room again, "you come here often?"

Naruto scuffed the ground with his shoe, "sometimes, when I need to think."

"Ah," Shisui nodded in understanding, he gestured to the room, "it's pretty clean for a five year old's secret hideout."

Naruto stomped his foot and crossed his arms, "I'm almost six! Besides, this place was icky before I cleaned it up. How can I make my _super secret exclusive invite only_ club hideout be cool if it has spiderwebs everywhere?"

Naruto had debated the idea of making a base for his _"club"_, but an already made concrete room complete with special seals was like a free all you can eat three day buffet. It just needed a new door and furniture, and maybe an update in some of the seals. It was close enough to Konoha that he could safely man it while being far enough not to be noticed.

Shisui raised an eyebrow before a few sad thoughts waltzed their way into his head. Jinchuriki were not known to have many friends and had few friendly acquaintances. The "super secret exclusive invite only" part of the boy's club was probably more of a show to ward of hurt feelings of not having any club members. It was heartbreaking, really.

Naruto had no idea he was guilt tripping the Uchiha. He just knew that the man was an important influence for the the future events and had a crazy amount of power stored away in his eyes. Naruto was fairly sure Shisui died sometime before the massacre. He also remembered a big fight for the man's eyes, which were both thankfully still safely in the dude's head. Naruto would have to make sure Danzo didn't actually get the Uchiha's eye this time. And he really didn't want another crow stuffed down his throat just so he could safe guard another over powered thing. Do you know what if feels like to have a crow come out of your throat? It's weird. Like puking purple radioactive sentient hairballs weird. But in any case, the best way to keep track of someone was to make bonds.

Naruto gave Shisui a look before saying, "Since you've seen the super secret hideout, you'll have to be sworn to secrecy. Otherwise I can't let you leave."

A smile worked its way up Shisui's face before he said in a fake posh tone, "I, Uchiha Shisui, give my word to never tell a soul about the super secret hideout unless it's a danger to Konoha."

"Fine," Naruto said, "As club leader, I have the power to invite whomever I want. Normal club members need permission from me before inviting. I hereby invite one Uchiha Shisui to join my club."

That unintentional guilt trip Naruto gave earlier came back with a vengeance. How could Shisui, who had more heart then most ninja, say no to a face like the one in front of him? That young, pensive, and desperate face was unfit for a child; yet their was the hope for the future in those big blue eyes.

Without knowing what he was agreeing to, Shisui said, "I, Uchiha Shisui, accept Uzumaki Naruto's invite and join his super secret club."

Naruto stroked an imaginary beard before saying, "very well. Sign the contract and you'll be fully joined."

Running off to the pile of stuff, Naruto riffled through his bag and looked up at Shisui, "Ah, I don't have any scrolls..."

Shisui chucked a little, "a piece of paper would be fine."

Naruto pouted, "But Jiji does everything in scrolls."

Shisui sighed and pulled out a blank scroll from his pouch. It was going to become a sealing scroll, but he was notoriously weak against puppy eyes...Itachi could attest to this. He handed it to Naruto for his effective use of the look. The boy jumped up in excitement and pulled out a ball point pen and began scribbling things onto it. Shisui dismissed the scribbling as the kid's lack of knowledge in kanji or hiragana. Naruto handed it to Shisui and pointed below the strange scribbles, "sign here. You'll officially become a club member for life unless you defect hence making you a traitor, mental instability that results in the termination of your right to roam the roads safely, or in the event that you become a zombie under the mind control of an evil villain."

Shisui's mouth curled up a little, it was obvious that the boy spent a lot of time with the Hokage. He knew what he was talking about, however he wondered about the zombie part. Part of him didn't want to know, but he'd willingly dismiss it as childish imagination. Taking the pen, which almost seemed to pull at his chakra, Shisui signed his name.

Naruto gently grinned up at the Uchiha and said, "welcome, Uchiha Shisui. You can call me Naruto. In front of visitors and to outsiders you'll refer to me as the seventh Mukage instead of my name. I'd like to keep it as an awesome secret alias, like Yugyoji-hakase. Everyday professor by day but by night...the masked vigilante TAMA! Or, or, or, like Eco who threw away the name his father gave him because he didn't want to abide by the rules of his corrupted family."

Shisui knew the boy was dead set on becoming the Hokage (and probably an avid manga reader), but this was bordering obsessive with his dream. It was probably nothing to worry about, kids played make believe all the time. Most of the time they were ninja or nuke-nin, so why not a made up kage?

"As Mukage, I will assign the missions to my subordinates. As you rise in the ranks of my trust, you will get harder missions to complete," Naruto said seriously.

Shisui decided that the make believe Mukage was cute, if not scarily accurate to how the Hokage talked. Perhaps the boy's dream was not so far fetched.

"You will also be privy to more top secret information that is only spoken of in a super secret meeting place. The club won't force you to go against your previous loyalties unless absolutely necessary," Naruto informed Shisui.

Shisui suddenly got the feeling he was playing an open yet secret political game and was just hopelessly outmaneuvered. Nothing the _young _boy said was too binding, so he had nothing to worry about. That is, if his ninja senses weren't tingling.

Deciding to ease the niggling feeling, he said, "I have a few questions about the club."

Naruto nodded and waited for him to continue.

"What kind of missions are we talking about? What top secret information? Why would we go against our "loyalties"? What is the purpose of our club?" Shisui listed and waited for, what he hoped would be, a childish answer.

Naruto shrugged, "I haven't decided on the missions yet but they'll be ranging from simple ones that even a toddler could do to infiltrating enemy bases and annihilating the threat. The information is just stuff that'll help our club's goal. The loyalty thing is less for you, since you're loyal to your family and the village; which we are going to be trying to protect. Our club is going to save the world from chaotic premature destruction. Really nothing that special."

"Chaotic premature destruction," Shisui echoed, "care to elaborate?"

"I would, but it's super secret and we currently don't have a door. Which reminds me... Shisui-san, your first mission, should you choose to accept it, is a high D-Rank mission of fixing the hideout's door."

Shisui could his inner self face fault; he, an ANBU, was doing a D-Rank mission commissioned by a kid.

Naruto grinned up at the shinobi and said, "you break it you fix it. Don't worry though, I'll supervise of course. Can't have a confused minion running around."

Shisui let out a long suffering sigh and nodded, "alright, but I have to stop by the Hokage's office to report. Hold onto my hand, we're going to shunshin."

Naruto's eyes sparked, gathered his stuff (except the cleaning supplies), and grabbed onto the offered hand before they disappeared. Naruto could tell Shisui's shunshin was different. It was perfectly smooth and without any "bumps", like taking long strides in one direction or another. Shisui truly was the master of teleporting.

They appeared in the waiting area. Shisui looked down at the boy and said, "just wait out here, I'll be back soon."

Naruto nodded and hopped over to the chairs. He plopped down and watched the secretary watch him. Bored with the staring contest with the grumpy woman, who had a mountain of paperwork that could rival the Hokage's, he started humming. He rifled though his bag and pulled out his orange notebook and pencil. He flipped to a blank page and tapped his chin in thought, frowning in confusion he yelled, "Oi, old hag! What's the date?"

The secretary's eyebrow twitched even with the years of ninja conditioning, she composed herself and said, "the first of October."

Naruto nodded and started writing, his handwriting flowing across the page with surprising precision for a five year old.

* * *

"Thank you Shisui-san," the Hokage said, "is there anything else you'd like to add to your report?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama. However, it doesn't concern the mission," Shisui replied.

The Hokage inclined his head, "proceed."

"I have made the acquaintance of one Uzumaki Naruto," Shisui started before a loud and abrasive exclamation from outside the room made him pause.

"That's Prince Number One Unpredictable Prankster Future Orange Powerhouse Hokage Uzumaki Naruto-sama to you, Minion-kun!"

There was some faint yelling from the secretary and a few other sounds before Shisui continued, "er, he has started a club and I was invited."

The Sandaime nodded, a smile stretched across his wizened face. There was an unsettling truth to the boy's proclamation from behind the door. He was definitely a prankster and an unpredictable one at that, but he was also was unknowingly hosting the Kyuubi hence making him a "powerhouse" and a descendant of the royal Uzumaki family. Unsettling indeed if it weren't for the absurdity of the rest of his yelling.

"He was very persuasive," Shisui added, "and he roped me into playing his games. He has insisted on me calling him the seventh Mu-"

"Minion-kun!" Naruto exclaimed as he burst through the door and jumped onto Shisui's back, "club secrets must remain secret!"

The secretary came in panting and bedraggled.

"I'm sorry," she huffed, "Hokage-sama. I couldn't...couldn't stop him."

Naruto pouted and exclaimed near Shisui's ear, "But they're talking about me!"

Shisui winced at the sheer volume from the boy before a severe whisper from the same boy hissed, "the walls have ears, Uchiha. Watch what you say."

Shisui froze at Naruto's cool tone. The hyper active yet cautious kid from before had another side. Shisui had guessed that the loudness was a mask of sorts, made to evade and pick out hostile people. Naruto had the quieter, thinking side, in the room where Shisui felt like he was being puzzled over. It had felt like another shinobi was sizing him up and trying to figure out what threat level he posed. However both were friendly. This side was cold and almost hostile, the sort of tone that implied a very sharp mind that knew exactly what it was talking about and left no room for any forms of underhandedness.

Maybe it was the violet mood swing that could only be observed in the five year old's voice, his face didn't seem to give anything away or perhaps it was that the boy seemed to know there were others listening in on the conversations in the Hokage office. Either way, Shisui was stunned.

"Naruto-kun, you've seemed to have made a new friend," the Hokage said, smiling at the boy who he felt like was an untouchable grandson. A grandson he had to tip toe around, because of politics. Sarutobi was pleased that Naruto had more friendly acquaintances in his life, but he couldn't help but worry about the fact they were all older then he was. Ah, there was an irony to Sarutobi's worry that only the readers would understand.

"Yeah! Yeah! Minion-kun is my new club member and I'm gonna show him the ropes!" Naruto loudly declared.

Sarutobi chuckled, "Shisui-san, you have permission to take the next few days off. Have fun in the new club."

Shisui was mildly horrified at the cynical twinkle in the old man's eyes. He couldn't help but wonder what he had gotten himself into when he joined the club.

"Yatta!" Naruto jumped down and fist pumped, "we're going to have a lot of fun! Come along minion."

Sarutobi laughed as one of his strongest and most loyal shinobi was dragged off to play. The look on the Uchiha's face was enough to make his day a little brighter. Now, if there was a way to make paper work disappear...perhaps he could ask his secretary to take some.

* * *

Naruto dragged the Uchiha down the street, heading towards a good carpentry store that would have what was needed to fix a nearly indestructible door. Shisui was mentally flipping through everything Naruto had previously said and had done in their first meeting. Needless to say, Shisui came to the conclusion that the kid was hiding things. And to think he signed a possibly binding contract, at least it was in gibberish so the likelihood of it actually holding any power was low.

The duo were in and out of the store in close to no time, equipped with bolts, screws, handles, hinges, and oil. They stopped to buy stationary along with a fine brush and inkwell. When Shisui asked about it, Naruto merely grinned and said, "Patience, young grasshopper, is the key to never getting gray hair and successful shogi games against normal people. If you want to beat a Nara at shogi, you need to be unpredictable and quick."

Naruto had the clone Emiko had put down for a nap expel while he was in the waiting room being glared at by the jounin level secretary. So he was safe to be caught in the open. It would get really ugly really fast if someone saw multiple Narutos running around.

With that being done, he was safe to walk around, Naruto happily dragged the Uchiha around the village like a personal pack mule.

The civilians of the village openly glared at the smiling boy, harsh whispers and muttered insults didn't go unnoticed. Shisui wasn't surprised by their dislike, but it unsettled him by their open hostility towards the boy. He had seen the dislike for his own clan when it came to the suspicious and paranoid people. But he had never seen such open hostility or blatant shunning from the villagers. The ninja didn't do anymore then glance and continue onward, but kept the boy well within their peripheral like he was a potential threat.

"It's that demon brat."

"Don't look him in the eye."

"Never talk to that boy, Yuki, he's very dangerous."

"Look, it's with an Uchiha."

"That little freak, why can't it disappear?"

"Probably controlling the thing with his cursed eyes."

"Best to avoid them."

"Worthless thing, would do the village a favor if he left."

"Uchiha shouldn't be trusted with it."

"Ne, Shinobi-san!" Naruto exclaimed, purposely leaving out Shisui's name, grin splitting his face and eyes squinted, "We can stop by my place to drop off the stuff for the door! We'll fix it tomorrow, okay?"

Shisui's attention snapped back to the kid and nodded. He knew the child could hear the whispers, Naruto had proven he wasn't as dense as everyone seemed to think. Shisui looked into the calm blue eyes of Konoha's jinchuriki and felt a sense of peace wash over him. It was only then he realized he had been leaking KI. The kid had many faces, it seemed, but none of them held ill intent toward the village. Naruto was a genuinely kind person, if not a little too paranoid for his age.

"Sure, just lead the way to your home," Shisui said and followed the chattering blonde to a run down complex. It wasn't a shabby thing, but it had seen better days.

"You live here?" Shisui asked, following the bouncing blonde up the stairs to the third floor.

"Yup, home sweet home," Naruto chirped as he swung the apartment door open.

Shisui walked in after him and took of his dirty sandals. He was surprised to find guest socks on a small wrack near the door, a really outdated tradition if he was correct. Ninja didn't tend to have socks since they kept to their sandals, but custom had them take off their shoes before entering the house. Hence socks were provided for their dirty feet, civilians could be such neat freaks.

The room was small with only a kitchenette, a table, two stools, a trashcan, and a fridge in it. It had posters and a calendar that hid blemishes or holes in the wall, no doubt. A short hall led to what he assumed to be the bathroom and the bedroom. Over all it was clean and tidy. Not what he expected from a young kid.

Naruto walked off to the far door and into the room, calling over his shoulder, "you can set the stuff on the table. Make yourself at home."

Shisui set the things on the table and sat on one of the stools. A moment later, Naruto came out carrying a brush and some paint. He set the items next to the supplies for the door and walked over to turn the hotplate on. He flipped the switch and set a teapot on it. He moved about the kitchen grabbing two cups along with a tea strainer.

Naruto looked over to Shisui and asked, "do you have a preference to what type of tea you want?"

"Anything is fine," Shisui said politely, earning an exasperated sigh and a few muttered words from his host. Shisui was mildly surprised by Naruto's hospitality. Most kids his age weren't very polite to their guests in the traditional sense. But as he watched the young boy move about and calmly, if not lethargically, welcome his guest; Shisui couldn't help but think of the similarity it looked to clan heirs' or heads' behavior toward an important guest. Granted the boy didn't have any servants to attend to making the drinks, so it was closer to perhaps a personable and friendly cross between a Nara and an Akimichi heir. The boy had the posture and air of a leader.

Naruto, being the host and the youngest (in body), served the tea. Naruto was silent and quietly studied Shisui, seeming to ponder over something as they drank. Shisui doubted anyone besides himself had ever seen the many faced of Naruto. The kid's file was so inaccurate, he feared for the village's security and the competence of the intelligence division.

"I'd like to apologize on behalf of the village for the inappropriate behavior directed at you, Uchiha-san, while within my company," Naruto said, breaking the long silence and setting his empty cup down, "it was uncalled for and not personal in most cases. I ask that you do not hold their reactions and irrational behavior against them in the future."

Again, the child's words changed and had a different feel to them. It was unsettling and made him wonder how the time spent with their Hokage had effected the child's mind, but Shisui was quick to reply, "don't worry about me, Naruto-kun. If...if it's alright to ask. How much do you hear from them?"

Naruto tilted his head in thought before deciding something, "I hear enough to know what they think of me. But I doubt that's what you're truly concerned about."

Shisui got an uneasy feeling in his gut at the piercing look the young boy was giving him.

"What do you think of me, Uchiha-san? What do you think when hear the name _Uzumaki Naruto_?"

Shisui got the distinct impression he was being tested or interrogated. That he was being tried the entire time he was with the boy. That this was a final test, of sorts, to prove whether or not he was a safe adult to trust. It didn't much good for his pride as a shinobi to only just realize this. Naruto would make, will make, a terrifying ninja.

He wondered how well he was doing in the child's test. He must have been doing something right, he got this far into it while others never got past the loud mouthed nonsense. If he did this right, he felt that this little kid would become very interesting and perhaps show Shisui what his true face was.

"Well," Shisui said, thinking over his words, "I think you're a bright kid. Very smart and aware of what's around him. I'm not completely sure why you play stupid...a defense mechanism, perhaps."

Shisui looked over to Naruto who sat waiting for him to continue. No answers yet, then.

"You have more masks then Hatake-san, who has three physical and one emotional as far as I can tell. You're very mature for your age-"

An amused chuckle from the boy made him pause, who waved him on to continue.

Shisui raised an eyebrow before continuing, "and I think you know something that you shouldn't know."

Naruto hummed in acknowledgment, finally he decided to say, "and what do you think of the Kyuubi?"

Shisui felt like he was about to have a heart attack, scratch the last question being the last test. This was what Naruto wanted to know. How he viewed the Kyuubi sealing deal. Shisui quickly scanned the area for probing ears. It was bad enough the child knew of the chakra fox, but he didn't know how he heard of its existence. Did the child overhear something? Was the child in contact with the fox? Shisui was pretty sure he didn't slip up around the boy. But what if he did? He was going to be executed if anyone even thought he told the boy. He didn't want to die for something he didn't do!

"No one can hear us," Naruto said, "the seals allow this. Speak freely."

"How do you know about it?" Shisui whispered, even though the child said the room was secured. How did Naruto know about something like security seals anyway? Not to mention how did the kid get his hands on them.

"Irrelevant," Naruto said shortly.

"It's forbidden to speak of it-"

"I may speak of it to whomever I please. What do you think of the Kyuubi no Kitsune?" Naruto probed, face neutral.

"It's scary, and I wet my pants when it attacked the village," Shisui said, without properly thinking over his answer. He clammed up and his face reddened. Well, dignity didn't mean much in his line of work anyway.

Naruto raised an eyebrow and said, "you no doubt just shot his ego sky high. But what do you think of me being his jinchuriki?"

"Uh...scary foxes have an ego?" Shisui asked, saying exactly what was on his mind. It was like his mouth had no filter.

Naruto sighed, "I laced your tea way too heavily. My status as a jinchuriki, Shisui-san. Jinchuriki. What do you think of them?"

"He laced my tea?" Shisui said out loud, now understanding the lack of filter and the sudden word diarrhea. He stared down at his empty tea cup, "my tea?"

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, "Irrelevant. Jinchuriki, what do you think of the jinchuriki?"

"They must be pretty strong to hold a demon," Shisui said without hesitation then frowned, "what did you put in my tea? Will I die?"

"The biju are anything but demons. I pray you never meet a real one," Naruto said, "No, you will not die. It's just a fast acting truth drug, that if fallen in the wrong hands would be very dangerous. Uchiha Shisui, can I trust you to work with other Jinchuriki and not discriminate against us?"

"As long as they don't try to kill me, my family, or my village," Shisui replied, surprising himself.

Naruto smiled and accepted his answer. He got up and moved over to one of the cupboards, he pulled up a false bottom and took out a vial and syringe. He quickly replaced the bottom and walked over to Shisui who was eyeing him warily.

"This will counteract the drug, I can't have you spilling your guts in the middle of the streets. I'd be getting assassination attempts tenfold on top of you endangering the village; we can't have the ANBU overwork themselves, now can we," Naruto flicked the syringe and watched a few bubbles surface.

"If you're worried about assassins learning about stuff. Why ask me that question if I could just run off to tell the Hokage? Does he already know?"

"The Hokage doesn't know, it isn't wise to tell him," Naruto murmured and stabbed the needle into the shinobi's arm, "if you had given me a bad answer, I would've just erased your memory. At the moment, you can't exit this apartment without having a serious bout of amnesia."

"You lace my tea, threaten my memory, and refuse to tell the Hokage about restricted knowledge. How do you know I'm not going to run off and tell him once you're done with me?" Shisui asked.

Naruto frowned, "I don't, but I'm gambling both our lives that you won't. You rat me out, and you're as good as dead."

"Is that a threat?" Shisui asked warily, the kid was making him nervous.

Naruto looked at the ceiling, deep in thought, "Hm, no. Just warning you what will happen if a certain man caught wind of my extensive knowledge. Besides, if you don't tell Jiji, I'll help you. A loyal jinchuriki goes to the ends of the Earth, through Hell and back, for his or her comrades. Most never learn this because they don't approach us. Ironic really, that they're so scared of our insanity but it's they themselves that make our insanity possible. Speaking of insanity, I really need to get in contact with Gaara. Hope he hasn't lost his marbles yet. Anyway, I help you, you help me, we save the world from destroying itself and then go out for ramen afterward. Maybe get some good sake involved. Actually, we deserve a party. Yeah, a nice big party; because we were just awesome and saved the world-"

"Wait. Hold it. Stop. Who's Gaara?" Shisui asked, not liking that he was being left out of the loop and that the kid seemed to be getting more unstable by the second.

"Gaara is a future friend and jinchuriki no Ichibi," Naruto replied, "should we have the party at my place or...you know what, by then I'll have it arranged to have a great big festival. Across the elemental nations! So ramen, good sake, dango, maybe tomatoes and hm... well, I have a few years to plan. Oh, and bubble tea. The young ones like their bubble tea. We'll need to have music and games too. Like pin the tail on the Juubi, hahaha. Wave could probably supply us with fish, add the right herbs and mmm, I'm making myself drool. Which reminds me, I'll need to figure out that whole thing with Kiri, ugh. But no matter, with my plan and secret organization- I mean club, we'll take out the brainwashed brainwasher in no time!"

Shisui blinked a few times before shaking his head, it was best not to question what went through a child's mind. Clearing his throat he asked, "Uh, er, Naruto-kun... what did you mean by you helping me?"

"Oh, right," Naruto said, coming out of his daydreams, "Yeah, well, you Uchiha are in kind of bind at the moment. What with the coup and the crazy old guy's council manipulation. I'll try helping the best I can, there really isn't much I can do. Politics you know? Oh and then theirs the whole thing with your eyes, ah never mind. I'm rambling now. I heard it get's worse as you get older."

When receiving no answer other than silence, Naruto glanced over to the Uchiha whom he found was foaming and twitching on the ground.

Naruto walked up to the frothing Uchiha, "Shisui-san?"

"Beehrrah..." was the intelligent reply of Uchiha Shisui.

"Are you having an allergy attack?" Naruto asked worriedly.

"Blahhh..." Shisui knew that the kid was going to be the end of him.

"Oh, you're worried. You should've said something earlier. No matter what, you'll be fine. Just have to put the finishing touches on faking your death and we'll be all set," Naruto reassured happily.

Shisui's only response was crying, "Beh-heh-heh..."

* * *

**Esparia: Oofda, that's about 6,000 words right there. Ought to be enough to compensate the previous chapter. Kinda hard to write though...hm, oh well. Be happy with the update. I did this with horrible back pain and ignored several important papers I needed to type.**


	15. Chapter 14

**Esparia: Sorry everyone, I got lost on the Road of Life and met Kakashi along the way.**

**Sasuke: *Uchiha broody glares***

**Disclaimer: *glances at Esparia* Esparia doesn't own anything but the imagination that created this story, which include all the grammatical errors and poor spelling.**

**Esparia: *snaps fingers* Right! After the twentieth chapter I'll be taking a short break. Maybe about a month? Which I will use to go over all the previous chapters and destroy said errors I missed. Hm, fix up some plot holes I didn't notice, and really work on my poor neglected Zelda fanfictions.**

**Link: You left us in the dusty studio for a year and only decided to touch up our chapters.**

**Esparia: Well it was horrible in the flow department.**

**Sasuke: Wait. Left you for a **_**year**_**?!**

**Link: Yup.**

**Esparia: Anyway! On with the story!**

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

One Week of Enslavement Later

October 2nd, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

My birthday is coming up. I'm not completely sure how this one is going to be. It's usually the first one where a random drunk decides to rob my house. Every single time I live there. He walks in through the kitchen window, which I might say is fairly high off the ground, then he clambers around my kitchen. He trips over my stool and hits his head on the table. Then he'll yell at the table about leaving him, or something like that. If I go out and confront him, he'll smack me around. If I sleep in my room, he stares at me for a good thirty minutes, which is creepy. If I hide under my bed he pillages my room and steals my pillow. Who steals a dirty and drool stained pillow? If I hand him things, like crackers or a cereal box, he talks a bit and leaves in his horribly drunken stupor. The problem is that I've never had a person live underneath my apartment who'll definitely hear what's happening. Emiko can be rather protective, but she doesn't have muscle to back her. Well, maybe I can drug Emiko so she doesn't notice. Sounds like that's what I'll do.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Fugaku was a busy man. He was in charge of Konoha's Police department and the head of one of the largest and most powerful clans. This leads to a load of paperwork, little family time, high blood pressure, and strange requests. Questions and concerns, from his clan and the citizens of the Leaf Village, were usually pretty normal.

"My child is missing, can you find him?"

"Some punk kid sprayed graffiti on my house again. Are you going to catch him?"

"Hey, when are we taking over the village?"

Things like that were normal. Their concerns and requests were normal. The blonde jinchuriki on his porch waiting for Fugaku's answer to his inane question, was decidedly anything but.

Frown lines creasing, Fugaku started down at the boy and said, "could you repeat that."

With an exaggerated eye roll and an exasperated sigh, the boy replied, "I _asked_ if Shisui-minion can come out to play. He's my only minion at the moment and we need to paint my club house."

'Minion' was probably the only thing that really stumped Fugaku's mind, or at least the fact that it was in reference to Shisui. Shisui was the jinchuriki's minion. He wondered when this happened and what else was going on in his clan without his knowing.

If Fugaku wasn't an Uchiha, he'd probably rub his temples, shut the door of his house, and pretend this never happened.

"Well?" Naruto asked as impatiently as a five year old, "is Minion-kun home or not?"

"No, I'm afraid Shisui-kun is on duty," Fugaku said coolly, and waited for the boy to leave so he could politely close the door.

Naruto stood there staring at Fugaku, whom naturally stared back. If you've ever tried having a staring contest with a cat, you'd know how Fugaku felt. Stupid for trying to prove to yourself that you are better than a lesser mammal, but determined to manage it in the first place. You end up ashamed of yourself when you realize you're struggling, and the considered lesser being isn't even aware of your internal struggle of proving yourself.

"Are you lying?" Naruto finally asked, narrowing his blue and still peering up at the older Uchiha.

"No," Fugaku's eye twitched, "he isn't due back until dinner, I shall send him to you when he returns."

Naruto huffed, "fine, is your son home then?"

"Sasuke is at the academy," Fugaku said, and paused in thought, "shouldn't you be there as well? I seem to recall a report mentioning your enrollment."

It wasn't really a report, but more of a complaint and wish to remove one Uzumaki Naruto from the academy. Fugaku was happy to tell the worried parent that it wasn't within the police's line of work to interfere with the education system and to seek someone else.

Naruto laughed nervously, "uh, heh, funny story. You see, the Japanese teacher says I disrupt class too much and kicks me out before class starts. Japanese is before lunch, so I have a few free hours and I thought, 'hey, maybe I can con- er, ask Minion-kun to buy me lunch. Then we can go paint a few walls and yeah..."

"Do you not eat lunch at school?" Fugaku asked, thinking of all the bento his wife made for his sons and himself. He knew the boy currently had a caregiver and thought she should be at least making the boy food.

"Ah, well, Emiko-chan makes me a bento. But there's this old homeless guy who's kinda blind and can't hear to good. Something like a exploding tag blew up in his face while on a mission as a chunin and he found the closest village. He doesn't know how to sense chakra and can't get a job because he's "unstable". Super paranoid and stuff. He doesn't let people approach him to often and I can't make him leave 'cause he's waiting for a rescue squad. But anyway, he needs my bento more then me," Naruto explained.

Fugaku stared down at the boy before he asked, "why haven't you informed anyone of him?"

Naruto sighed dramatically, "'cause I've only known the dude for around a month and have only really started talking to him recently. Besides, it's not like anyone would listen to me."

Fugaku didn't like the look on the boy's face. He couldn't place which emotion it was, but either way, it didn't look right on the child.

Fugaku's mind wandered, or went strait (Uchiha do not wander) to the thought of a blind, deaf, old chunin living homeless somewhere in Konoha. Who knows if the man was even of the Leaf.

"Boy, where is this man?" Fugaku asked.

Naruto eyed the man suspiciously, "you gonna lock him away?"

Fugaku narrowed his dark eyes, "I shouldn't need to."

"If I show you where he is," Naruto started bargaining, "will you buy me ramen afterward?"

Fugaku thought through this. His family wasn't home, it was his day off, and he would have to make food for himself or just eat leftovers. He also had the feeling the kid wouldn't willingly show him or lead him to the potentially dangerous foreign shinobi.

"Fine," Fugaku grudgingly agreed. He was in the mood for ramen anyway, but Mikoto was never quite able to make it without adding too much salt.

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered, "well what are you standing there for? Old man joints getting to you? Let's go talk Chunin-san out of living in a dumpster for the rest of his life!"

Fugaku watched the blonde ball of excitement run out of his compound before he followed, a bad feeling settling into his stomach as he left.

* * *

"-and that's how you're going to die. Everything is already set up. Questions, comments, concerns?" Naruto asked, gathering the papers he laid out in front of the very stressed Uchiha.

"Remind me why we're faking my death," Shisui said, face resting in his palms. It had been a very long day.

"To prevent your real death," Naruto replied, happily rubbing his distended stomach. Ramen~

"Uh-huh, and how do you know I'm going to die?" Shisui could feel his migraine increasing.

"A little birdie told me," Naruto said honestly; granted it was a crow summoning ex-nuke-nin in a previous life that had a thing for illusions; but technicalities don't matter too much.

"Right. Remind me again why I'm going along with this," Shisui said rhetorically.

"You signed yourself over to me," Naruto whipped out the scroll with squiggles that were actually a seal and Shisui's name, "As far as your loyalties are concerned; your my minion but allowed, with my expressed permission, to work under others. I'm awesome, you don't want to die, and I own your minion butt as much as (if not more) than Konoha"

Shisui pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "I signed my life over to a devil child."

"Maa, you make it sound bad, Minion-kun," Naruto pouted, "you just signed your loyalties. Besides, it's perfectly legal and recognized by the Hokage."

"I still don't understand how you got the Hokage's seal on that document, and in all honesty, that fact scares me the most," Shisui said, eyeing the document.

"I asked him to make it official," Naruto shrugged, "he just signs things put in front of him."

"I don't believe this. I was tricked into signing a contract with a silver tongued snake!" Shisui cried.

"Oi! I'm obviously a fox. Mean Minion-kun," Naruto yelled indignantly, "and I did not trick...you just didn't look close enough. Are you really a ninja?"

"I don't even know anymore! I should resign! I'm a failure of a ninja," Shisui bawled, "what ninja get's out done by a child not from the Nara clan?"

Naruto shook his head with a smile, "and I thought the Crazy Old Guy was dramatic, must be an Uchiha thing. Besides, I am _not_ a child. I'm a senile century old man trapped in a child's body! Dattebayo!"

"A crazy child," Shisui mumbled, curled in the corner of the large room while drawing circles on the ground with his forefinger, "I sold my body to a crazy child."

Naruto patted his back sympathetically, "better to give your body to a crazy child then a sociopathic transitive man that says he wants your body, has previously assaulted you, and shows serious signs of pedophilia."

"No one would be stupid enough to do that," Shisui bemoaned.

"You'd be surprised, Minion-kun. You'd be very surprised," Naruto said in an all knowing voice.

Shisui looked up at the blonde worriedly, "I don't think I want to know."

Naruto's unfocused blue eyes gazed off into the distant future past, "No. You really don't."

Shisui's eyes widened and felt his curiosity and worry meters peak.

Naruto gave himself a shake, "well, at least he's a fairly good leader. Though killing your minions is kinda counter productive. Hm, besides destructive tendencies and a severe lack of morality, he's an efficient leader. Natural politician, good with fixing financial problems, brilliant in the art of strategy, raised a village of his own, but good grief the man is insane. I think he suffers from a chemical imbalance, personally; depression, paranoia, post traumatic stress, fixation on death, the whole package of problems. Actually, that's not so different from mini-avenger duck-butt. Granted that's all theory, I know very little about psychology and medicine. Maybe I should look into reading up on some of those things. But let's say we can stabilize him, mentally. Say we get Baa-chan to fix his brain up. Can you imagine the possibilities. Half my problems, poof, gone, never to be seen again! Huh, I'm getting to old for this. Ahahaha, would you look at that, I'm rambling again."

Shisui just stared wide eyed and hesitantly asked, "Naruto-kun, what are you even talking about?"

"Hmn," Naruto hummed thoughtfully then shrugged, "I dunno. Anyway, that reminds me. Shisui, you've been an official member for a week now of the super top secret club, and I think it's time you meet our friends."

"You have friends?" Shisui asked in surprise before ducking his head in shame, "sorry."

"Hm, allies I suppose is the 'correct' term, but that's like calling my club an underground organization. Nah, doesn't have the same ring to it's title. They're pretty much the same thing anyway," Naruto shrugged, unaffected by the unintentionally harsh words.

Shisui smiled sadly. He knew the kid didn't have many friends, if any, and that was probably why he latched onto Shisui so fiercely. And even though the child's knowledge was suspicious, he was confident he could weasel something out of the kid. Silly D-ranks and the occasional shock from his loyalty seal was worth it. Curse that seal.

"I'd love to meet them," Shisui said softly, perhaps other orphans, "just lead the way."

Naruto smirked up at the man and Shisui got the distinct feeling of impending doom.

* * *

"Remind me why I'm taking a child to the Forest of Death like Itachi takes Sasuke-kun to the playground," Shisui said and rubbed his temples. Yes, today has been a very long day.

Naruto and Shisui were standing just outside the large electrified fencing and gate that separated training ground forty four from them. The truly massive trees dwarfed the ANBU and time traveler, lichen hanging from their boughs. Animal calls could be heard from inside the dark forest.

"We're here so you can make friends with my friends," Naruto said.

"What kind of friends do you have in here?" Shisui asked in horror, orphans and other children don't live in the Forest of Death.

"Hm, the typical man eating ones," Naruto said, fiddling with the gate controls.

Hearing a dull thump behind him, Naruto turned around to face the passed out Uchiha. With a raised eyebrow he asked himself, "Is he really an ANBU?"

"_Yes,"_ Taku replied, recalling a file from his Root days, _"Uchiha Shisui, also known as Shunshin no Shisui. Born October 19__th__, male, 180 cm, 68.9 kg, blood type A, wielder of the sharingan-"_

_'Right, right,' _ Naruto interrupted, or attempted to interrupt, his train of thought.

"_-Fire Release, Wind Release-"_

_'Wait, what? Another wind user? Why didn't I know about-'_

"_-Lightning Release, and Yin Release. Although the last was not recorded by Danzo. His known jutsu are what follow, the fire ball-"_

"_Oh please shut up,"_ Mitsuo, the annoyingly pessimistic twelve year old, said over his older self's report,_ "you don't need to report everything you know on the man."_

"_-crow summoning-"_

"_Well that explains where Itachi got his contract,"_ Koji, the oldest Naruto, commented. Being the oldest he was the calmest about all the Narutos' emotional and habitual ticks.

"_-best friend of Uchiha Itachi prior to death. Can control and influence the minds of other with his sharingan. One of which Danzo had taken, the right one if I am correct-"_

"_Crap,"_ Mitsuo grumbled,_ "now he's getting into his family and personal info."_

"_-wrote a suicide note, possible forgery by one Uchiha Itachi. Left unrecoverable body behind and was said to destroy his last eye, but was later proven incorrect information-"_

"_We know this from our shared mind!"_ Mitsuo yelled at the sickly Naruto.

Taku froze and clamped his mouth shut, twitched before he added, _"Shisui's name can be interpreted as 'death water' or 'still water' when in hiragana or katakana form-"_

"_Now he's spouting trivia," _Mitsuo growled in annoyance, _"someone think up something to shut him up."_

"_It's his Root training, Mitsuo, give Taku a break,"_ Koji said, trying to calm the ire in the third Timeline's Naruto down.

"_-wet the bed until he was six-"_

"_I imagined Sailormoon duct tape!" _Noriyuki said happily, holding the duct tape proudly for his older self to grab.

Naruto sighed, grabbed the unconscious Uchiha and did a quick shunshin to the forest.

Setting the man down he plopped to the ground to work on his self created paperwork. Even the Mukage has the curse of the paperwork.

In the back of his mind a rambling past life was duct taped with Sailormoon print duct tape, still reporting everything he knew on "Uchiha Shisui". Naruto wondered what kind of creep Danzo must've been to gather information like the stuff the fifth Timeline was rattling off.

* * *

Later that day, Fugaku sat with his family at the table. Normally an Uchiha family dinner would consist of proper body posture, formal eating discipline, and silence with the occasional pleasantry. However, this time, it was not a normal Uchiha family dinner.

Poor Uchiha Fugaku was still recovering from his ordeal over lunch with the resident Jinchuriki. By recovering, I mean trying to burn the horrific event from his mind. It was horrifying enough for his sharingan to activate and successfully etch the image of a monstrous little boy eating.

Mikoto noticed her husband's fidgeting, food poking, and twitching hands.

Itachi noticed his father's far away gaze that spoke of unimaginable horrors and troubles.

Sasuke didn't notice anything since he wasn't a ninja yet.

After a long silence Fugaku imparted his words of wisdom unto his family, "If a blonde ever asks you to buy him ramen. Refuse. And then tactfully flee as quickly as possible without seeming rushed. If he follows you, turn a corner and disappear like the wind."

Mikoto was concerned and decided to talk with him later.

Itachi was mildly confused as to what could've agitated his father so.

Sasuke committed his father's wisdom to memory. It was rare for his father gave advice; and if he did, it was usually one on one. So if he shared it with the entire family, it must've been vital information.

As Mikoto fell asleep that night, she could've sworn she heard her husband whimper, "I hate ramen…to think I sent that poor boy to the monster's den."

By morning it was as if the whole thing never happened. When asked about the gaping hole in Fugaku's wallet, Fugaku was just as confused and replied, "I don't know where my money is."

* * *

**Esparia: To make up for the lateness...here's something I found while lost on the Road of Life. You don't get much sleep when you're lost and weird conversations are sure to pop up. But here's one of them. I have not regrets.**

Omake

Parenting Beasts

Hagoromo tiredly watched the nine rowdy biju from an elevated rock.

When he was younger, he had briefly thought of having a family of his own. A loving wife, and some crazy children, all of whom he'd love. It seemed that the Eternal Being had other plans for him. He didn't have a wife anymore, but he certainly did have some crazy children that he loved. Nine, massive, highly destructive children...and two normal children that were living their own lives.

He looked over to one part of the large cave where three of his little monsters were. Son Goku and Gyuki were being lectured on hygiene by Saiken.

"I'm telling you, cleanliness is next to godliness! You both smell awful and are absolutely filthy, what are you two? Pigs? Do you know how many _germs_ accumulate over a day on your body? Trillions! We are going to take a bath, with bubbles of course, and you're going to like it!" The large six tailed slug exclaimed, waving her white blueish arms adamantly.

The four tailed ox and the eight tailed octopus sighed in unison.

Hagoromo decided to leave Saiken to it, the last time he had to give those two a bath was nothing short of a disaster. Contrary to Son Goku and Gyuki's hate of water, Kurama got a little to excited in it, and thought it would be fun to make waves with his nine ruby tails. He hoped there weren't any islands with inhabitants on that side of the ocean. Needless to say, they only use underground springs now. Tsunamis are hard to make in springs. Besides, they were hard to hold down long enough to wash.

Glancing to the other side of the cave, he saw Kokuo and Isobu arguing over who was fastest. The five tailed horse was stomping angrily and the three tailed turtle was lashing his tails.

"Horses are obviously faster then turtles; I'm a horse and you're a slow turtle," Kokuo said.

"But in water not only do turtles trump horses, I am an awesome turtle that can out roll your running any day," Isobu said.

Eventually it looked like they decided on a race, Chomei was elected the judge. The seven tailed larvae complied easily enough.

Turning his attention to Shukaku and Matatabi, he smiled. They were peacefully relaxing in a patch of sunlight. Shukaku was tapping his foot to a song only he could hear, and Matatabi's twin tails tucked under her chin. The cat opened her green eye and called to Kurama, "you can join, us you know."

Kurama, who had been edging around them for a quite some time, bounded over to the raccoon and cat. He lifted his face to the sun, letting out a pleased rumbling sound.

Shukaku snapped his head up to see the fox spread out his tails, the one tailed raccoon's eyes widened when his brother crouched and spring into the air.

Matatabi's yellow eye shot open, "wait!"

A collective and muffled "oof" from Shukaku and Matatabi who were trapped under the large tails of their brother.

Hagoromo and the rest of the biju winced.

"Kurama!" Shukaku yowled, "move over, your fat tails are squishing me!"

"They are not fat," Kurama pouted, smacking the raccoon in the face with one, "they are fluffy."

"Well your fluff is killing me," Shukaku yelled, "so move your cotton tailed butt before I bite them off!"

"Hmph," Kurama lifted his nose to the air indignantly, "I have you know it's hard having this many tails to sit on, something you wouldn't appreciate. Sandy butt."

"Rabbit eared kitsune!" Shukaku roared, jumping out from the tails.

"Weakling one tailed tanuki!" Kurama bellowed, shoving his face closer to his brother's.

"Lipstick wearing vixen!" Shukaku snarled.

"Ugly tattooed fatso," Kurama growled, before he paused and his face contorted with horror, "no, Shukaku, I didn't-"

Shukaku's lower lip quivered, "I- I hate you, Kurama!"

Kurama's "sorry" echoed throughout the cavern as Shukaku spun around and ran off to the bedroom.

Matatabi coughed a red hairball, her blue flames eating it away. She glanced at Kurama before running off to Shukaku in an attempt to comfort him.

Saiken shifted her weight before hurriedly ushering her two (stinky) brothers to the hot spring. Son Goku and Gyuki were more then willing to leave the scene. Kokuo and Isobu decided that a bath was a good idea after a race, and Chomei followed them to the spring. Leaving Kurama alone in the large cavern, tails dropping, head hung in shame, and ears dropped with the occasional twitch towards his upset brother.

Hagoromo climbed down from where he was and approached Kurama.

Kurama sunk to the ground and curled his tails around himself, "it was just a little fun."

Hagoromo sighed, "you know how he feels about the natural curse seals and the fat jokes."

"I know," whimpered the giant fox, "it was an accident. I didn't think he'd be that angry."

"Go apologize to him, Kurama," Hagoromo said, nudging the giant fox kit forward.

"Okay Tou-chyan," Kurama said before he hesitantly began walking towards the raccoon.

Hagoromo breathed in relief, and laughed a little to himself, "parenting little beast children is not an easy job. But, that's the end of that."


	16. Chapter 15

**Esparia: This is still on time.**

**Disclaimer: Esparia doesn't own this fandom. Esparia does own the laziness and mountain of homework that attacked this past week.**

**Esparia: But this is still on time. So go forth my readers! And if you have time after you read this, go find "Hearts for Sale" by Miyuli/Julia K. it is one of the sweetest comic/illustrations I have ever seen. (not a fandom thing, but it has the fuzzy feels in it if you're into it) I keep reading it over and over. I think you can find it on Pinterest under "Heartsmith" but I could be lying.**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

A Pairing I've Only Seen Once

_October 8th, Fifth year of the 7__th__ Timeline,_

What to say? What to say? Well, the "super secret club house" is getting fixed up really good. After Shisui fixed the door he punched through like Tsunade-baa-chan, we sent about painting the walls. I had already fixed up and added seals to the walls, ceiling, and floor. I decided on a dark purple on my walls and white as a trim. If it was one thing Ino beat into my head over the hundred year span that I call my life. It's that everything has symbolism; colors, animals, plants, words, placement, and actions. Her inner interior decorator was in charge of my generation's housing.

But in any case, Shisui-minion and I have been furnishing the place. Massive bookcases are to be installed today; with Emiko buying everything I need and her bargaining, my coupon clipping hobby (that she found very surprising), and that side job as an errand boy in my henge, I've gotten money stored up. Clones are amazing laborers when it comes to cutting wood the right size and drilling all the little holes needed to screw the joints together. Best thing is, all I needed to buy was the screws, a few drills, and wood glue. Wind jutsu are surprisingly useful as saws, drill presses, and all around sanding when you add a little dirt to it. You can also get the most intricate designs carved into wood. It just takes a lot of control.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

"Urgh, what happened?" Shisui asked, coming to the waking world feeling heavy limbed and sluggish. Not to mention the massive, skull splitting headache he now had.

"You passed out like a pansy," Naruto told him, idly rolling his scrolls back up. Naruto was sitting in the grass not far from the Uchiha's head and was surrounded by scrolls, seals, books, and varies other oddities. Packing it all up as he said, "I already explained to my friends you were my ally. Since you were completely out of it to properly meet them, you'll have to meet them later. However, they agreed to not attack you."

Shisui peered up at the canopy; it was always difficult to distinguish the time, with the thick leaves blocking the light, in the Forest of Death.

"You've been out for about three to four hours. Sun has already set," Naruto said and stretched as he stood up and walked over to Shisui's prone figure, "why didn't you tell me you exhausted your chakra. Coming strait from a mission with that low of chakra was a stupid and dangerous thing to do. You should've gone strait to bed and slept. No matter what Fugaku-san told you."

Shisui slowly stood up next to Naruto, head pulsing painfully to remind him that he was in need of more then a few hours of sleep on the ground, "how did we get here and why did you bring me here?"

"There are ways to get grown ninja into places while they're passed out," Naruto shrugged, "it was also the closest safe spot I could think of."

Shisui blinked owlishly, "Forest of Death" and "safe spot" did not belong in the same context unless "not" was placed alongside with them. Shisui was going to press for some answers when Naruto stiffened and looked off into the forest. He glanced at the swaying shinobi and back into the forest.

"Naru-" Shisui began, but was cut off by a small hand covering his mouth.

"You're not stable enough for a safe shunshin, you'll be fine. I'll be fine and was never here," Naruto hissed in his ear before disappearing into the shadows of the gloomy and dark forest.

"W-wait, it's not safe for a child," Shisui called out to Naruto and stumbled before faceplanting, "I really have sold my soul to a devil child."

"Now why on this lousy earth would you do something like that?" A feminine voice asked above him.

Shisui's head whipped upward to see a vaguely familiar kunoichi. She was around his age, if not older, with light purple hair. She held herself in a way that demanded respect while being equally relaxed. When she shifted her position on the low branch, he could see her muscles move smoothly; conveying to even an unskilled civilian she had physical power. Her eyes shone with determination and inner turmoil, not uncommon in ninja. All in all, Shisui thought she was one "strong, powerful, and hot kunoichi..."

The kunoichi raised and eyebrow, "and you're an exhausted and weak shinobi."

"Oi!" Shisui cried out indignantly, "I have you know, Kunoichi-san, that I am _not_ weak."

"Says the man collapsed in the mud," she replied, lips slanting in amusement, "if not weakness, then idiocy is your problem. Few are stupid enough to fall asleep in the mud in the middle of one of the most dangerous training grounds."

Shisui stiffly got up, trying to protect what was left of his dignity. But alas! It was all for naught.

The young kunoichi rolled her eyes and muttered, "men and their egos."

Shisui straitened his back and probably would've looked like the formidable man he was if it weren't for the mud clinging to his cloths, blood shot eyes and was swaying from dizziness.

Sighing, she jumped down beside him, "you look like the walking dead, what did you do? Move the Hokage Monument by brute strength alone?"

"Mission," He replied, glancing around warily. He wasn't very comfortable in training ground forty four, and questioned the sanity of the people who came here willingly (such as the woman in front of him and the happy little blonde).

"You'd have to be an even bigger moron then I originally thought, going training after a hard mission is stupidity at its finest," she chuckled in amusement, "can't say I've seen your face around here. You come here often?"

"No," Shisui said, glancing at her and asked, "what's your name?"

She smirked, "it's rude to ask for a name when you haven't given your own."

"My name's Shisui, what's your's?" He tried again.

"I am not obligated to tell you my name," she smiled sweetly.

Shisui growled, sneaky kunoichi.

She snickered at his frown, "go home, get some sleep, grow a brain."

"Why I-"

"Later Shisui-kun," she winked and disappeared.

Shisui blushed and looked down at his feet, mumbling, "women..."

* * *

Naruto was busily shoving the fifth and final floor to ceiling shelf in place, the entire back wall was covered in open shelves waiting for books, files, and scrolls to fill them. Naruto planned on installing a rolling ladder to reach the higher shelves. Really they were so high that he'd have to be a giant, a biju, or have whatever creepy body jutsu thing Orochimaru does with his neck. Chakra clinging could destroy the poor papers or mess with their seals, so a rolling ladder was a must.

Shisui was building a loft above the door for added floor space. About ten meters by four meters with spiral staircases to the right and left of the door.

Naruto turned to look at the Uchiha after he was done with the shelves. Raising an eyebrow at the starry eyed boy, he smiled and walked under the beams to where Shisui was perched, "is Minion-kun thinking about a pretty lady friend?"

Shisui startled from his thoughts, it had only been a day since he was left behind in the Forest of Death and met that kunoichi.

"Ooh~ It is a girl," Naruto's smile widened, time to mess with him, "does she have long eyelashes that flutter like the wings of a butterfly when she looks at you, eyes dark as the night but twinkle with a million stars when she laughs, a petite frame, delicate pale skin that resembles moonlight, and silky black hair that looks like a river of liquid obsidian?" *****

Shisui paused what he and his clone were doing to look down at the blonde, "if the ninja career doesn't work out for you, become a poet or a romantic novelist. And no, she's a strong woman that doesn't fit any of what you listed," Shisui shook his head and went back to work, _'that kid is going to grow up to be a romancer. What the heck.'_

Naruto pouted, "I thought Uchiha only went for Uchiha, and had to marry their cousins because of their clan blood or something."

"Ah, er," Shisui's eyes widened, the conversation was getting in the danger zone. The flicker image his mind provided of marrying his cousin didn't help. Shisui shuddered, it would be fangirl paradise, "we usually marry more distant relatives, and non-clan members are admitted in."

"Huh, weird. Well, what's this not Uchiha chick's name?" Naruto asked.

"...I don't know," Shisui mumbled, drilling the last beam into place.

Naruto facepalmed, "describe her, maybe I know her."

Shisui gave him a skeptical look.

"I know more then you think," the young (old) boy reminded him.

Shisui sighed and jumped down from where he was, "she has spiky lavender hair, tied up in an almost Nara style. She wears-"

"Wait," Naruto butted in, hands held up to stop the Uchiha from continuing, "did you meet her in the Forest of Death after I left?"

"Yes," Shisui replied.

"Anko? Really?" Naruto asked, staring up at his dark haired minion, "You chose the Snake Mistress? Sure she can be real nice and strangely good at parenting skills, but _Anko_?"

"So her name is Anko," Shisui hummed in thought, a light blush shading his cheekbones.

"Love sick puppy," Naruto groaned, "you can like her all you want, but I doubt she'll reciprocate."

"Why not?" Shisui asked, looking offended and hopped down to face the shrimp.

Naruto glanced at Shisui from the corner of his eye. He and Hinata had chosen Anko to be their kids' godmother. Kurenai was killed on a mission gone wrong. Anko wasn't the closest to Hinata's sensei, but they were pretty friendly, and she comforted Hinata similar to how a mother would when the news came Hinata's second mother died. By the time Hinata learned she was pregnant, both of the new parents agreed that Anko would be the godmother. Anko might not have said anything, but both could tell she was truly happy to be made an official member of the Namikaze-Uzumaki-Hyuuga's little family. She had friends but held them at arms length. Anko didn't marry in any of the past Timelines and never dated...with the exception of that one date that ended up with a blown up fish stand. Naruto guessed her lonely tendencies stemmed from Orochimaru doing a number on her social life when he turned traitor.

"She has had a rough life, which I'm sure if you ever snoop into her files you'll find out yourself, but she doesn't let others get to close to her. Not easily that is. She's a hurt and lonely individual, puts on a brave front, but good at heart," Naruto said.

Shisui twirled a bolt between his fingers before he said, "then I'll be a friend."

Naruto smiled, "good plan lad, just try not to get skewered by her dango sticks when you approach her in the streets. I only have one minion at the moment and I don't want to lose him because he was making goo goo eyes at a strong kunoichi."

"What?" Shisui asked.

"Shisui-san," Naruto said solemnly, placing a hand on the ANBU's forearm, "my tall and confused friend, Anko is one of the best ninja out there because no one watches her back. Surprise her, and you'll be deader then your ancestors. Insult her competence, and you'll be in for something worse then Ibiki's idea of torture. She also is sucker for sweet things like dango, so you'll 'accidentally' run into her there during the Kyuubi festival."

"Oh," Shisui's eyes widened in realization, the kid had been dropping him tips. He decided that the boy was strangely insightful for an almost six year old.

Naruto nodded, "dress your best; but if you go all noble's silk and embroidered style on her, sorry but you lost your chance."

"Got it, are you going to the festival? You have a caretaker, correct?" Shisui asked, looking down at the little boy.

Naruto stilled and grinned up at Shisui, "Heh-heh, nah. Don't really want to go and Emiko is going to go with her _friend_."

"Oh," Shisui said, frowning, "why don't you want to go to the festival?"

Naruto gave him a blank look that practically screamed that he thought Shisui was an idiot for not knowing, "I'm the jinchuriki of the nine tailed fox that pulverized this place six years ago. What do you think will happen if they see me walking around the festival?"

Shisui shrunk under his skin, he admittedly had forgotten that the happy go-lucky blonde boy that had a super high maturity rate for his age was a jinchuriki.

"Sorry, I forgot," Shisui apologized.

"You forgot," Naruto slowly said, "Minion-kun, it's not good to forget potentially life threatening foes' existence. Maybe I should have Jiji get a Yamanaka give you a psyche evaluation."

"You are not my foe, Naruto-kun," Shisui said, looking down at the boy with a tinge of sadness.

Naruto sighed dramatically, "you know what I mean. Just because The Fluff isn't seen, he's still present and likely to murder you if let lose upon the earth."

"The Fluff," Shisui repeated incredulously.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded, "he's big and fluffy. Hence, The Fluff."

"What on earth," Shisui shook his head, "so do you have any plans for your birthday?"

"Hm," Naruto tapped his chin in thought, "I'm planning on working on the secret hideout, maybe finish the loft now that there's stairs. Make railings, get some furnishing for the lower level and upper levels. Add a ladder to the bookcases. Get some rugs too, very important. Draw up some additional plans for the side rooms, things to do, things to do."

"I meant for you birthday, Naruto-kun," Shisui said.

Naruto nodded, "and I told you my plan."

Shisui looked horrified, "that's sad, no birthday party, cake, presents, nothing?"

Naruto tilted his head in thought, "I think Jiji might send me something, like a blanket or something. Maybe that ANBU guy will too, he gave me a sleeping hat last time. Emiko and Nobuo are short on money and are making a cake for the 9th since I didn't want it on the 10th. I convinced them to go to the festival without me on my actual birthday and will 'celebrate' tomorrow. Emiko understands, but Nobuo was a real pain to convince. Stubborn shinobi."

"Oh," Shisui said, he didn't know what to say, "is there anything you want?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes in thought, "well my hotplate has some open wires, so wire tape would be nice. You know, the hard plastic rubber stuff that's all sticky on one side?"

"That's not a birthday present, that's something you need in fear of something becoming a safety hazard," Shisui said, "don't you want anything?"

"Peace," Naruto offered, "a world that won't destroy itself?"

"You're pretty bent on thinking the world is going to be destroyed," Shisui said.

"Hm, not destroyed, per se, just the people in it if we don't do anything," Naruto said.

"Right, but what do you want? Materialistic things?" Shisui said,trying to get an answer he could pull off and wasn't super boring.

Naruto stared at Shisui for a moment, "I find that one will have a happier life when you are content with what you have, you can't really take anything with you to the afterlife."

"You're a strange kid. What kid doesn't want action figures, play kunai, manga, toys, and ridiculously over priced items?" Shisui asked, then paused, "I didn't know you believed in an afterlife."

Naruto shrugged, "there is such a thing as spirits, no?"

"I think so, but others don't," Shisui replied neutrally.

"Hm, that is true. But where do you think spirits go? This is the realm of the physical," Naruto said motioning around him.

"I suppose they could float around or something," Shisui said, if there was one thing that you usually didn't talk to people about. It was religion, politics, and the debate on whether cats or dogs were better. It was so cats.

"I'm inclined to believe there is an afterlife, Minion-kun," Naruto said, "it has been something that I've believed in for a while. I hope to see my parents one day...and maybe it's just that hope. But I think I've seen a glimpse of the Otherside and I've seen things that can only be explained by spiritual means...though there will always be doubters."

Shisui was silent for a little while, "that escalated quickly. But, uh, surely I can get you something for your birthday."

"Oh, ah, a few maps of the continent would be nice. Political borders, geography, things like that would be fine," Naruto said, coughing into his sleeve, "anyway, you have tomorrow and the day after tomorrow off as a Village holiday. See you on the eleventh, Minion-kun."

Naruto walked out of the soon to be base of his future organization and was no sooner home when Emiko asked, "Did you have fun with your new friend?"

"Yup, our fort looks awesome," Naruto chirped happily.

Emiko smiled, "I'll have to meet him someday."

"Okay," Naruto agreed, "what are we making for dinner?"

"Come up here and I'll show you," Emiko said, pointing to a stool.

Around the same time Shisui was heating up leftovers when Itachi dropped by.

Shisui smiled at his younger cousin, a horrifying image (from an awkward conversation on Uchiha marriages) that was best left forgotten flickered in his mind before he asked, "is there something you need, Itachi-kun?"

Itachi's impassive face remained impassive as he said, "Okka-san wishes to invite you over to dinner."

"Sure, I'll be over in a moment," Shisui said, putting the leftovers back in the fridge, "so, what have you been up to?"

"Regular duties," Itachi replied, "I haven't seen you around either."

Shisui closed the fridge, remembering his orders to follow Itachi. Orders that he had been neglecting, "I'm...taking a special job from the Hokage."

"Oh?" Itachi intoned, moving to leave the kitchen with Shisui.

"Glorified babysitting," Shisui expanded.

Itachi raised an eyebrow and didn't comment, both walked to dinner in silence.

* * *

**Esparia: So you know that little * thing up there? yeah, well I have something to say. 1) All those descriptions I have come across before but never compiled into one singular description of doom. 2) Yes I was making fun of strangely poetic descriptions that don't fit the rest of a person's writing. 3) These are good descriptions when not over used, so use them wisely.  
**

**Sasuke: *carries a crowbar across the screen***

**Esparia: Also note, I got some positive feedback on my last Omake. So, Hagoromo will be getting another Omake next chapter.**


	17. Chapter 16

**Esparia: Why this so hard to do?**

**Disclaimer: Because you don't own them.**

**Esparia: Merp...Well anyway, Onward my minions! Oh and...uh, the Omake kinda died. *looks at corrupt document* *sigh* So we, the staff group of Esparia Inc. (AKA Just the author and imaginary dog that's been around since author was eight, hence can't die without the author feeling guilty), are going to rewrite the entire thing from scratch.**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

The Night Before My Birthday

October 9th, Fifth year of the 7th Timeline,

Twas the night before my birthday and all through my house, not a creature was stirring. Not even Mouse. (Mouse doesn't move from her post outside my apartment much anyway)

Clones, on the other hand, are feverishly working at the super secret base of my top secret organization of world saving ninja. Hm, where am I? You ask? I am on an adventure.

Until next time or no time,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

"Hakuna matata~ It means no worries! For the rest of you days~ It's our problem free~ Philosophy~ Hakuna mata- YOWCH!" Naruto yelped, hopping around on one foot while holding the other in his hands.

A worker clone, who looked to be around fifteen, picked up the fallen paint can without a glance towards the hopping blonde.

Naruto pouted and hobbled over to the clones rolling out a massive rug in front of the bookcases, which had a newly installed rolling ladder. A pair of clones finished constructing a beautifully carved desk and positioned it to face the entrance. It was probably around ten paces from the bookshelves, the desk itself was a large crescent shape that allowed enough surface space to hold mountains of paperwork. However, at the moment, it was innocently empty.

A seal maker clone hopped down from the towering shelves, leaving his brethren to make security seals across each shelf. He bent down and began working on a complicated seal in the middle of the desk. A seal Hajime, the first Naruto, had discovered while Hokage. A handy little seal that let the papers with classified information seem pointless to infiltrators, a minor genjutsu really. Something only a genjutsu master could hope to detect.

The eighty, now seventy nine, clones on the shelves were placing simple security seals that didn't let anyone unauthorized to remove anything from the shelves. The shelves that would hold higher levels of secret information had more traps, alarms, and effected other trap seals in the room. Everything that would be added to the shelves would automatically be keyed into the grand desk. The desk was now fire proof, thanks to that one seal maker clone. Tsunade chakra punch proof seals were still being developed, since all have failed thus far. Yet the seal that prevented it and its contents from being destroyed by a biju's hair ball was successful. It just further proved to Naruto that his Baa-chan was scary.

Walls were being erected beneath the loft, making two separate rooms. The drywall was just needing to be plastered. Which wouldn't take long with a few more clones, clones like the ones that just got done making his comfortable spiny chair, and a wind jutsu or two to dry it out.

Naruto plopped onto his chair that smelled of freshly varnished wood, "it's just not fun when everything is made so fast and there is no one to talk with."

"You always have us," Koji, the second and oldest Naruto, said while walking up to Naruto with a glass of lemonade.

Naruto looked up at his second life's persona, "you don't count. You're essentially me."

Koji hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

Both watched clones run around like ants as they drank their lemonade. Painting the storage room and bedroom's outer walls. Some were bringing wood into the rooms to make bunk beds or shelves. The loft was carpeted with six to eight Narutos arguing over the direction on how to put the furniture together.

"-and I'm telling you, this is the back piece. 24A obviously goes with this part here, 25A."

"No, no, no. You got it all wrong, this is 24A. Not that, that's 12D."

"It is not. It is 2B-"

"-or not 2B...I think that's 7C's sister part, 3C."

"Wait, we already connected 3C to 2C."

There was a long pause.

"I knew we shouldn't have bought from that man," a clone grumbled.

"What was his name again?"

"I think he called himself Ikea."

"Sounds right."

"But where is that bolt that's made for-"

"Argh!"

Seal maker clones were clinging to ceilings and adjusting the genjutsu coupled as lighting seals. It was going to look like it was a night sky with the Northern lights dancing across it, if you have a large ceiling why not make it awesome?

"Hey, Ryuji!" Shiro, the fourth Naruto, yelled from the loft.

"It's Mitsuo!" Mitsuo (Ryuji) yelled back, thoroughly annoyed.

"Whatever," Shiro rolled his eyes, "where did you put the throw pillows?"

"In storage," Mitsuo replied with a shrug.

"Why on this good earth's crust did you do that?" Shiro asked.

"We don't need them out," Mitsuo said, wrinkling his nose he added, "they're ugly anyway."

Naruto sighed as another argument broke out.

Koji ruffled his younger self's hair, "this is why I suggested more then one base. One in every country and managed by different Narutos."

Naruto nodded, "as soon as we're done here, we'll make one for Hajime. He probably wants to get his leader type of position back anyway."

Koji eyed his tired and younger self, "I have an idea..."

Naruto grunted his 'I'm paying attention but am too tired to reply' sound.

"Why don't you scout an area for Hajime in Sand? Visit Gaara early, be a kid for a few days, and take a much needed vacation. Tomorrow is your birthday, leave behind a clone to take care of your social obligations and have a good time at those sand baths. You can make it to Suna by tomorrow if you and Hajime head out soon and Shunshin close enough," Koji suggested, eyes softening, "you're beat kid. You've earned a break for the past two lifetimes."

Naruto smiled, "Yeah, I guess it couldn't hurt to take some time off. It's a good idea."

Koji smiled and pat the seventh's back.

Naruto willed a long lasting and hit proof clone to appear. A seal maker clone walked up to Naruto and turned into a megaphone, it was one of the only ways to be heard when a room was full of yourself.

Naruto cleared his throat and said, "Listen up, this is the boss speaking. This Naruto clone is going to be in charge while I'm out with Hajime. I don't want to be disturbed by popping clones and their memories while I'm out. I could be in the middle of a battle or an interrogation. So all worker clones will convey their memories to the leader clone. If there are any intruders, wipe their memories and implant false ones. Try to be realistic about what could have knocked them out in the forest. We don't need another bunny incident."

"Ah man," a random clone whined in disappointment.

Naruto nodded to Hajime and let the megaphone clone pop out of existence, "we're getting you a base in Suna and visiting Gaara. A clone is grabbing the stuff we need. We'll be traveling as siblings in search of our uncle."

"Who'll our uncle's alias be?" Hajime questioned.

A flash of light came from his right and a clone ran up to him with a picture in hand. He handed the picture of an elderly gentleman with two younger boys hugging him and smiling and then poofed away.

Hajime leveled Naruto with a flat look, "some missions should be left in the past and forgotten for the rest of eternity."

Naruto grinned and shrugged, he put a quick henge on that dulled his eyes and flattened his hair to hang over his eyes. Whiskers gone and skin paler. He lengthened his nose and upturned it slightly.

Hajime shook his head and did the likewise, looking like an older version of his younger self's henge. However he had a finer jawline and a ropy scar that blinded him in one eye. His other eye was light green and his hair was darker.

Their cloths changed to civilian wear, but was generally nondescript.

Naruto nodded, "alright guys. We're off. Remember, anyone not belonging here get's a mindful of whatever horrible accident you guys come up with...and don't burn the place down."

"Yeah Ryuji," Shiro snickered.

"Shut it, gutted fish," snarled Mitsuo.

With a quick shunshin, both Hajime and Naruto were gone, not wanting to bother with bickering other lives. Leaving nothing in their wake, they didn't want to start some riot over who got the chakra ramen.

* * *

"Nii-san," Sasuke said as Itachi pulled out the small yukata. Sasuke was trying on his yukata to make sure it fit right for the festival the next day.

"Yes, Sasuke?" Itachi replied, unfolding his brother's dark blue kosode.

"Is that kid, Naruto, going to be there?" Sasuke asked, swinging his legs back and forth while he sat on his bed.

"Perhaps," Itachi said after a thoughtful silence. Itachi had been thinking about the strange blonde boy, or more specifically, what the boy had said to him before disappearing like a phantom.

After hours of searching during his free time, Itachi had opted to going to the boy's house and get answers. Instead of finding him, he met Emiko. She told him that the boy was out playing with a friend; she seemed so happy at that, that he didn't want to plant any suspicion in her mind. The boy didn't have very many, if any, friends. He decided to look for the boy and his "friend".

It was disconcerting that he, a top notch ANBU, couldn't find the boy nor his friend. Since then, he had only seen the boy once. Naruto had been wandering the streets looking for something, he couldn't stop to confront the boy because he was in the middle of a mission and needed to be debriefed. He hadn't seen the boy since.

Things were generally going to plan, as far as reporting to the Hokage anyway. Although there was a strange presence following him around. It was unfamiliar and very foreign. Not a Ne-nin, not an ANBU, but certainly not of a lower level then a black ops agent. It hadn't approached him yet and seemed content to simply watch him. He wasn't being monitored by Shisui anymore, the Hokage seemed to put a stop to that and Itachi was nothing short of thankful for that. But the new presence was odd, like a demented mixture of a long forgotten friend and an evil presence.

With an unknown and unshakable tail, he took to not visiting the Uzumaki's residence. Even though he wanted answers, he wasn't willing to compromise the jinchuriki. He didn't really want to compromise anyone, by seeming too close to someone he could be putting them as a target. With this mindset, he had begun distancing himself from others more then what was usual. He was already distant and lonely because of his prodigy and heir status. He had few friends and cared deeply for even fewer. A lone wolf you could say, a grim picture really. Wolves were pack animals, they relied on others. On their own they were quick to die.

A sharp rapping on the door got his and Sasuke's attention.

"Itachi-kun~ Mikoto-oba-san said you outgrew your festive wear, so I brought a few of my old ones for you to try on," Shisui said, holding up the clothes.

"Hn," Itachi said and went back to examining a tear in Sasuke's kosode.

Shisui rolled his eyes, "thank you Shisui. You're the best cousin ever, Shisui. What would I ever do without you, Shisui? Thanks, just put it on the bed Shisui. You know you could be a little happier that I'm here, dear cousin."

Sasuke grinned, "I'm happy you're here."

"Aw, aren't you a cute kid. Manners and everything. You know, I'm getting this kid a present, a birthday gift. But all he wants are a couple of maps," Shisui said, bending over to Sasuke, "what do boys your age like?"

Sasuke frowned in thought, "real kunai and ninja stuff!"

"Huh, now is that what you want for your birthday or is that what little boys like?" Shisui teased.

"I am _not_ little, and ninja stuff is cool," Sasuke pouted and crossed his arms.

"Got it squirt," Shisui laughed and ruffled his cousin's black hair, "cool stuff and maybe kunai for your birthday."

"Yes!" Sasuke fist pumped.

Itachi shook his head with a sad smile, he handed the articles of clothing to Sasuke, "do you need help or are you old enough to put it on yourself?"

"I can do it," Sasuke held his yukata close to his chest and ran out the door, so his brother wouldn't see him struggle with putting it on...and asking his mother for help.

Shisui smiled, "well, I'll be off."

"Shisui," Itachi said, stopping his cousin, "you have been invited to dinner."

"Sure," Shisui shrugged, "but I have a present to drop off, as soon as I buy it..."

Itachi looked at Shisui, questions running through his head.

"It's his birthday and I thought it would be nice to give it to him in person. Nice little kid, I'll be back soon," Shisui replied to Itachi's unspoken words. With a wave over his shoulder he left.

Itachi looked back at the articles of clothing his cousin dropped off with an inner sigh. Might as well get it over with.

* * *

Shisui left Naruto's apartment with a slight frown. The boy had told his caretaker and her boyfriend that he was working on his clubhouse fort and would be back later. Shisui wanted to give his gift in person, it was only proper. He had a pretty clear idea where Naruto was, but 'fort' and 'clubhouse' were such tame words coming from an adult when referring to the thing he and the kid built. Tame words, probably what got him into this mess in the first place. The project was innocent enough, like tidying up an old abandoned room and decorating it. But then they started adding furniture; if Shisui didn't know better he could've sworn they were building a lair or a base for an undercover organization. Well it would be like one if the loft was actually finished.

But even so, a child shouldn't be out of the village on his own. To build something dangerous no less! Shisui questioned the intelligence of whoever let him wander outside the village at all. His ANBU guards must keep a very sharp eye on the kid, but to let him roam around outside seemed unnecessary dangerous. There were bandits, bears, foreign ninja, and squirrels.

Perhaps they were trying to bait assassins into coming and getting intelligence. Even so, it was a stupid idea.

It was Shisui's assumption that ANBU followed Naruto everywhere that led him to believe the boy was in no danger. Why he didn't fully question how a boy that age could simply walk outside the village. And made him assume that these guards reported everything to the Hokage, so there was no need for him to repeat what was already common knowledge.

It was these thoughts he had when he walked into the "clubhouse" on the 9th of October. These thoughts that were startled from his mind by a horde of blonde children looking at him in shock.

There were Narutos everywhere. Narutos climbing the bookcases like monkeys. Narutos walking across the floor carrying things. Narutos popping out of walls. Narutos clinging to walls like spiders. Narutos climbing out from under the floorboards. Narutos hanging from the ceiling like bats. Narutos in front, above, behind, next to, and under him. There were Narutos _everywhere_. All bustling about until they saw him and froze.

"Uh..." Shisui said intelligently. His mind blanking. Ninja were supposed to be prepared for everything, but there was a short list of things he knew he would never be prepared for. Naruto was that list.

"It's Shisui," the horde of Narutos said in sync, thinking and saying the only thing on their collective minds.

There was a pause, "grab him!"

"Ahie!" Shisui shrieked as he was swarmed by the mass of orange, black, and yellow. The last thing he saw was multiple pairs of the same colored blue eyes. Then all was dark.

* * *

**Esparia: Bam. Weak chapter is short. But Hakuna matata, we'll be having an awesome chapter next week...along with that omake. (evil computer corrupting my files!)**


	18. Chapter 17

**Esparia: Sorry! Why was this so hard to make?**

**Disclaimer: Because you don't own the characters, a virus attacked the computer, and you're a student who had to study for the ACT test (which you also don't own). Your grades took a nose dive because everything that counts for more than half of your quarter grade was supposed to be done on computer, the computers at your dungeon of a school are taken up by testers and still are being used for standardized testing for the rest of the month. So you couldn't use "free time" at home and type this out.**

**Esparia: Don't remind me...Well anyway, Onward my minions! Oh and since you were all so patient, the staff of Esparia Inc. (AKA just Esparia and the imaginary dog Jack) have decided that an Omake is a good apology gift.**

**Sasuke: I deserve overtime payment for this.**

**Esparia: Shut it you, you got a payed vacation. That's more than the contract offered. Besides, you hardly have anything to do with this chapter.**

**Sasuke: Hn. (_I will get out of here one day, mark my words Esparia. I will overthrow you and your imaginary dog too...mwahaha_)**

* * *

Chapter Seventeen

Traveling through the Sands of Time

October 10th, 6th year of the 7th Timeline,

My birthday has an unequal amount of bad memories to good memories, however the good memories out ride the bad. I have more bad memories to my birthday, but those tend to fade away with all my good memories I made with my friends...however, I don't think the bad will ever completely fade away.

We just arrived in Suna and I can see a very red headed little boy. Gaara is a cute toddler, when he's not killing anyone. Well, friends to meet, a world to save.

Until next time or no time,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Naruto and Hajime were using a long distance shunshin to travel through the forest; while a normal user wouldn't be able to travel so far without seals, both Narutos had large amounts of chakra to travel leagues at a time. Naruto discovered this when he was in the fourth Timeline, the were soon in the desert wasteland.

They were both disguised by the time they reached the desert, and began walking in the sedated pace civilian families did when traveling. They found an outcropping of rocks not a few hours in and set up camp. They set up a fire and unrolled their bed rolls with extra blankets. Shinobi and kunoichi normally wouldn't light fires nor take extra blankets with them, but civilians would need them since the desert nights were so cold.

Hajime settled into his sleeping roll and stared up at the starlit sky.

Naruto was doing likewise but glanced at his past self every so often. Finally he said, "Haji?"

"Yes?' the first Naruto replied quietly, the nineteen year old shifted his eyes to look at the six year old.

Naruto pulled his blanket up to his chin, "...you remember our _life before_ perfectly, right?"

"It's clearer for me then it is for you," Hajime said, eyes turning back to the twinkling sky.

"Then," Naruto paused, "why can't I remember it well?"

Hajime thought over what he was going to say, their conversation was no doubt being observed by someone. With a sigh he said, "the older you get the less you remember older memories and the easier it is to remember the more recent memories...or important memories of the time."

"Then, you remember why there weren't any stars?" Naruto asked, sitting up.

Hajime closed his eyes, the old memories bubbling to the surface of his mind, "yes."

Naruto huffed in frustration, "Then why-"

"Goodnight, Naru," Hajime clipped, turning away from his younger self.

"...goodnight, Haji..." Naruto murmured and went to sleep.

His clone stared sightlessly at the barren landscape and glanced at the sparkling sky. He sighed again and closed his eyes, "they were there...you just couldn't see them."

* * *

The Narutos were panicking like an ant colony whose nest was just kicked over by some unknown foe. Narutos were running around without much rhyme or reason, or like the world was (again) ending. Other Narutos were back to working on the hideout. Some were to tense and decided arguing was a good stress reliever, the debate was which flavor of ramen was best. One Naruto was in the corner puking his chakra out, which until then not thought to have been possible. Nerves were a horrible thing. The clone left in charge was trying to get order in place before he realized the time and left for home, Emiko would be worried if he didn't come home. Which was actually nice to have that, in every child form he had it didn't really happen. So he wanted to enjoy this.

The remaining Narutos of past Timelines were standing around the tied up and hooded Shisui.

"Is the rice bag really necessary?" Shisui asked, frowning underneath the bag over his head.

"You could genjutsu us," replied Noriyuki, the sixth Timeline's Naruto. Nodding sagely, which looked rather cute on the six year old.

The other four murmured their agreement to what Noriyuki voiced, at the moment a seal making clone was making a sharingan suppressant.

Shisui sighed, there went Plan E: get the rice sack off his head, genjutsu the crap out of these clones, extract information, and run as fast as his legs could carry him.

"What should we do with him," Shiro, the fourth Naruto, wondered out loud, "Naruto didn't give us anything to do if Shisui dropped by. He should have been at the Uchiha complex, not gallivanting about the woods like some woodland elf."

"We could kill him," Mitsuo, the third and probably most messed up in the head Naruto, offered sincerely.

"B-but killing is bad," Noriyuki stuttered, beginning to cry.

"Nice going, Ryuji, you made him cry," Shiro said condescendingly.

Taku, the ex-ne-nin and fifth Naruto, sighed before he began hacking. After he cleared his throat a few times he said, "the Uchiha are pretty much immune to suggestive genjutsu. We could erase his memory, but at this point it would do more harm then good. Lost memories will only lead him to believe he was attacked by enemies and is now compromised, or his suspicion of us will grow."

The clones and past Narutos were muttering quietly to one another, trying to think of what to do.

"I suggest," the sickly Naruto continued tiredly, "that we wait for Naruto to come back since this is _his_ Timeline to work in."

"But," Shiro paused to organize his thoughts then said, "Shisui-san's family will be waiting for him. Shisui-san may have let us get away with some uncertain things in hope of learning more, but now that he's seen us and the Kage Bunshin, there is no way he will cooperate with us without giving him further explanation. Shisui-san is a ninja, and a good one at that."

"That's why I think we should just kill him. Wash our hands from him," Mitsuo huffed and crossed his arms. He got a good amount of blue eyes to glare at him, none of the Narutos were pleased with the idea their third Timeline version self made.

Noriyuki's bottom lip quivered. His big blue eyes watered, making some of the clones shift uneasily, he stuttered a quiet, "b-b-but...Shisui-san is our _friend_."

"Yeah, a friend until he finds out about us," snapped Mitsuo, not liking how his six year old self was appearing so weak, "he is supposed to die anyway."

"Idiot," hissed Shiro, "the point we're even here is to make sure things from before don't happen. To make sure _they_ don't die. Shisui-san's death would let half our problems get an unknown advantage over us. Hence, we need him on our side, and he's no use to us dead."

"It would be more to our benefit if Shisui-san was not six feet under," Koji thought out loud.

"Psh, more like swirling in endless eddies," Mitsuo turned away from his counterparts, displeased with their ideas.

Koji continued on like his younger self didn't say anything, "if Shisui-san wasn't dead, we wouldn't have to worry about him coming back under that cursed jutsu. Besides, I think we can all agree we don't want another crow stuffed down our throats."

A loud murmuring from the mass of clones and past Narutos filled the room, for once all agreeing on a subject. Except for Noriyuki, who didn't have any memories of ever getting a crow stuffed down his throat by a certain Uchiha.

"We could cremate his body," Mitsuo offered, for once bringing a valid point to his argument.

However the other Narutos were still strongly against killing their new found friend, Shiro was the most verbal, "for the love of cookies, cream, and all things sweet! You have an unhealthy obsession with death and fire. _Why don't we kill him and set his body of fire~ Doesn't matter what the other Uchiha will think when his body disappears~ Fire solves everything~ Tehe~ _No, no, no. We are not going to be killing anyone or setting anyone on fire."

"Except for Orochimaru?" Mitsuo asked hopefully.

"Not even Orochimaru," Shiro denied quickly. If you gave Mitsuo an inch, he'd be burning things down front, back, and center.

Mitsuo glowered angrily and was about to retort when a clone noticed and quickly intercepted, "all in favor of keeping Shisui-san alive, raise your hand."

Shisui had a shiver go up and down his spine, he had never been caught by an enemy that was so uncertain about his fate. If they decided to kill him, he was as good as dead. At least they seemed reluctant to kill him off for rather unsettling reasons, but it didn't mean that they wouldn't end up killing him.

There a sound of sleeves falling down arms as hands rose, the clone nodded then said, "those opposed?"

A single hand form Mitsuo was all there was.

"Ryuji, you're out numbered. Uchiha Shisui, you live, congratulations," the clone declared.

"My name is Mitsuo. Mitsuo. Not _Ryuji_," Mitsuo snarled, blue eyes flashing with anger.

Shisui sighed in relief, it looked like he didn't have to worry about his life just yet. These kage bunshin did hold all their maker's feelings and opinions of him, which he was pleased to hear that it was almost all good. He wasn't sure about the other Narutos that seemed to have completely different goals and personalities, they didn't really seem like the same Naruto he knew. Then again, he hardly knew Naruto if what was before his covered eyes was anything to go off of. However, some even sounded older then what Naruto was. It didn't make much sense to Shisui, but he was a shinobi, a member of ANBU on top of that, so he didn't question what was before him too much. Weird things happened in ANBU, and what happened in ANBU stayed in ANBU.

"So..." a random worker clone trailed off, "are we going to wipe his memory and let him wander the forest or what's the plan?"

"We could position him so it looks like to him that it was just a continuation of wherever we left off the memory swipe," a seal making clone offered, "a stitching method."

"He's an Uchiha remember," sighed another random clone, "the clan is notorious for knowing when there was a mind tampering. Shisui-san in particular with his unique eyes and knowledge that we can pull of such a feat."

"...so we kill him?" Mitsuo asked with a hopeful tone.

There was a collective groan from the clones along with some facepalming.

* * *

"_Kakashi-san," Naruto greeted as his previous sensei walked through the door, "right on time, as always."_

"_Hokage-sama," Kakashi replied quietly with a formal bow, "permission to speak."_

"_Granted," Naruto replied, filing away a report before he turned his full attention to Kakashi. Naruto knew that Kakashi's mind had broken under Obito's Mangekyo. Since then, Kakashi seemed to revert back to what Gai had called, "his unyouthful child self". Except it seemed to be worse. His mentality was along the lines of work until you drop, follow the rules until you die, and the Hokage's word was law. Naruto wasn't even completely sure Kakashi knew he was Naruto. The man didn't respond at all to personal approaches, just blankly stared. He almost resembled a Ne-nin, but the Ne-nin weren't even as bad as Kakashi, Ne-nin at least faked things and tried to understand what the emotions others had meant._

"_We have received a message from Suna. The Kazekage requests an update on our western borders," Kakashi intoned, face blank._

"_Of course, thank you Kakashi for informing me," Naruto said, opening a drawer to grab a scroll._

"_It is my job, Hokage-sama, by your leave," Kakashi bowed and waited for my dismissal._

"_You may go, Kakashi, but could you send someone on your way out to send some blank scrolls in. It seems we're out," Naruto said after he had rifled through his desk._

_Kakashi said a quiet, "Hai, Hokage-sama," and left without a sound._

_Naruto sighed as he leaned back in the chair some of his most important people had rested in. His sensei was with them, but he was also gone, his sensei was lost within his own mind. Something Ino had confirmed was nearly irreversible unless it was broken again or fixed by Kakashi._

* * *

Shisui could feel his patience wane and he raised his voice, "Enough! Just choose something. You're all the same person, correct? So put your minds together and come up with something that you can all agree on."

Shisui was completely and utterly done with this group of kage bunshin, he simply couldn't take their constant arguing anymore. He had learned a great deal about Naruto in the time that they argued, granted; however, it was getting repetitive and horribly annoying. Shisui had gained a new respect for the Academy teachers.

"...kill him," Mitsuo whispered.

"Oh my word," Shiro groaned, "No, we are not doing this all over again. Shisui-san is right, we're the same basic person. So why can't we get along and come to a nice easy solution?"

Taku coughed quietly, then cleared his throat, "what if we use a copy clone to get us some time to clear this mess up."

There was a minute of silence in the room, which was probably the quietest that a horde of Narutos in a single room could make. They looked at each other nodding, tilting their heads, shifting their weights before they all said, "let's do it."

Shisui got no father then, _'what is a-'_ before Koji yanked a hair our of the boy's scalp. Koji held the hair between his two palms, built up and formed his chakra then exclaimed, "Fukushya Bunshin no Jutsu!"*

A standard "_poof"_ was heard, a light blue cloud of smoke accompanying it.

The clones held their breath in abated silence, Shisui held his breath because he was waiting for any sign of what could have appeared.

Shisui was startled, and slightly creeped out, when he heard himself ask, "So, how do I look?"

"Like a real live Shisui," a random clone said, "now go out and stall. Suspicious Uchiha are dangerous Uchiha."

"Aye aye, oh great one," the Shisui copy clone mock saluted and marched out the door.

A seal making clone then remembered the crucial reminder and yelled after him, "And don't forget to disperse before your expiration date!"

Fukushya Bunshin were a little bit of a miracle, it allowed the clone to gain any and all physical properties of the person whose DNA they got a hold of. Meaning the Shisui clone would have the Sharingan and be able to wield it. However, without the basic knowledge and experience that the person/plant/animal had, things like being able to do things didn't mean that they knew how to do them. The best example being when Naruto first got a clone to turn into a grown bird, he didn't know how to navigate the winds at all and resulted into a pancake bird clone. Another disadvantage was that the clones, after an extended period of time, started forgetting they were clones. One clone lived an entire life as a weed in some old lady's garden. Needless to say, the genin that was picking weeds were confused when his weed dispersed into a cloud of smoke. The memories for that were a bit odd, and it was best not to dwell on them. Naruto didn't use these clones often since the cons often outweighed to pros.

"Now that we bought more time, let's see if we can think clearly or not," Shiro said, adjusting his shirt. Shiro didn't enjoy the cold draft he was getting through the midsection of his shirt. A needle and thread were going to be a good investment in the future.

"...I still think we should kill him," Mitsuo grumbled.

* * *

_Fire raged around them, the forest that once surrounded Konohagakure was ablaze like the morning sun. Casting red and orange light into the air accompanied by thick black billowing clouds of smoke. The sky itself was glowing red from the light reflecting off the dark clouds. The air was stiflingly hot and unbreathable from the ash that rained down like white petals._

_Naruto coughed harshly and blinked his stinging eyes, trying to get a clear look at his surroundings. He was looking, searching for survivors. Anything that was moving and alive._

_Bodies lain strewn across the quiet streets of Konoha, having fallen from the inability to breathe. The only sounds that could be heard were Naruto's own harsh breathing and his raspy echoing call for those still alive. He could hear the fire crackling and eating away the trees beyond the walls, but the faint roar could hardly be heard above his frantic heartbeat that drummed in his ears like an endless mantra of fear._

_The fire couldn't reach Konoha itself, since the walls and wards would prevent it from crossing over the barrier. However, the air filtering in was all but the forgotten and invisible killer. The oxygen being sucked away from the city to feed the fire beyond, unbreathable air being the replacement along with the fire's snow, to fall an blanket the once slumbering city._

_Naruto and his troops were out fighting an army of white zetsu when he felt four strong pulses of chakra near the city. The blazing light made the night look like a dying star had fallen to the earth's surface._

_The zetsu had dispersed into the night like phantoms that you thought perhaps were never there to begin with._

_Naruto had his ninja get the civilians that needed help to the bunkers beneath the city, where stored food, water, and filtered air would let them stay hidden from bombing attacks for a good six months. The ninja in the village had already began escorting them to the bunkers. However he could do nothing to stop men, women, and children from collapsing under the poor air. Some were dragged to safety while others would fall into an eternal slumber._

_"Is anyone left?" Naruto called out, voice carrying across the ashy covered city. Naruto was able to use clones in the beginning, but even clones were susceptible to suffocation. The only reason he was able to keep going was because of the Kyuubi's chakra healing and clearing toxins out of his lungs._

_"...here," a woman's voice scratchy voice came._

_Naruto did a quick shunshin to where she was, only to see a slumped Tenten leaned against a wall with a bundle clutched to her chest. Her hair was stiff from the soot and her eyes were unfocused, the little bundle was a four month old baby. She was holding a wet wash cloth to the child's mouth._

_Naruto bent and gently took the child to fit under his cloak, and Sasuke said it was a waste of time to sew so many seals on his cloak. With the child secured, he turned to help Tenten up, but she shook her head. A wry smile as she choked out a quiet, "...no."_

_Tenten's face was covered in the white powder and her breathing was shallow._

_"Tenten," Naruto cleared his throat and spat out a disgusting ash._

_"...it's fine...Naruto," Tenten wheezed, "I already knew...when I turned back..."_

_Naruto stood by Tenten, smoke inhalation damaged the lungs, clogging airways and preventing air to pass from the organs to the blood. Smoke was the biggest threat; you could survive burns and let a fire surround you without killing you at a distance, but you couldn't escape smoke._

_Tenten knew she would slow his journey to the bunker, so had declined his help. She jerked her head to the child, "...to safety..."_

_Naruto nodded and ran towards the bunkers. Babies weren't allowed to shunshin, or be carried in a shunshin. It caused physical and chakra complications later in life. It was suspected Lee's mother had done a shunshin in late pregnancy or while he was a young child. Miscarriages often happened to a pregnant woman if she expelled certain frequencies of chakra in her body in pregnancy. Tenten knew how it affected Lee so negatively, so it it was probably why she was so hesitant to do anything other than go on foot._

_By the time Naruto got the child to safety and returned to Tenten's side, she was gone. Her paling skin specked with the black and white flakes, the flickering red light danced across her peaceful features which were turned towards the crying sky. The scene had a haunting beauty to it._

_Naruto turned his eyes to the black and red sky, not a single star to be seen. Naruto closed his eyes, a pained expression crossing his face, "I'm sorry, Tenten...I'm sorry you didn't get your wish."_

* * *

A certain dark haired shinobi knocked on the Uchiha Head's house.

He was greeted by a smiling Mikoto, "Shisui-kun, we thought you might not make it."

"No," the Shisui look alike smiled pleasantly, "I finished what I needed to do and hurried back, I wouldn't want to miss out on your heavenly cooking."

Mikoto laughed lightly, "smooth talker, get to your seat young man and eat some of my 'heavenly cooking'."

"Yes, Ma'am," the copy clone smiled and mock saluted before he entered the house with ease.

* * *

_"Dodge! Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto yelled in panic, running to his sensei._

_"...Naruto?" Kakashi's eyes focused on him for the first time in years._

_An explosion erupted from the ground beneath them._

* * *

Hajime shot up with wide eyes, breath coming out in gasps.

"Haji, ya okay?" Naruto asked with a yawn, rubbing sleep from his groggy eyes.

"Just fine," Hajime said, quickly gaining his bearings, "since we're up we might as well start heading towards Suna."

"Mmhm," Naruto crawled out of his bedroll and began packing his things up.

Hajime started cleaning up the campfire area, his eyes lingering on the ash that blew away with the wind. He tilted his head up to look at the lightening sky, a few stars still noticeable, "but you know, Tenten, even if the sun or the clouds obscure them, they're still out there."

"Did you say something?" Naruto asked, packing up Hajime's things away.

Hajime turned to look at his younger counterpart, how odd it was to see yourself making decisions and act like he didn't really remember their shared past. It was better that he wasn't weighed down by a past, he supposed, but he wondered if the things that made a difference to him would ever hold the same difference and impact on his younger self.

Hajime just shook his head and smiled, "happy sixth birthday."

Naruto blinked few times before grinning, "Yosh! When we get to Sunagakure, can we go out for ramen?"

Hajime laughed, "of course, who knows, maybe you'll make a few friends and we can invite them along to celebrate. I have to track down uncle first, so I'll drop you off at a playground while I look around. Sound good?"

Naruto nodded happily, excited to meet up with Gaara. He missed his red haired psychopath.

***- Copy Clone Technique**

* * *

Omake

Parent Counseling

"We have a new parent joining us today," the councilor said, she was a nice young woman.

"Ahem, not a _new_ parent...I have two older children, but it's my younger children that...ah," Hagoromo trailed off.

The woman smiled along with the other parents. The woman cleared her throat and said, "every child is different and with these differences comes different challenges we have to face as parents."

The other parents nodded and murmured in agreement.

She turned to Hagoromo and said, "why don't you introduce yourself and tell us about your home life; with what your comfortable of sharing, of course."

"Hello," Hagoromo greeted, turning to the others, "my name is Otsutsuki Hagoromo and I'm a single parent of eleven children-"

A few jaws dropped and eyes widened.

"-my eldest two already moved out, but the other nine were all born the same day and are still too young to live on their own."

More jaws dropped along with the widened eyes. Nine children born on the same day? The poor mother.

"But generally they get along-" Hagoromo was cut off by Ashura.

"Otousan!" Ashura burst through the door in a mad panic.

Hagoromo turned in concern, he had left Indra and Ashura to babysit and told them if it was an emergency to come get him.

"Ashura-kun? What happened?" Hagoromo asked, countless things that could possibly go wrong rushed through his head. The kids could have gotten into his sake. They could be playing "chakra tag". Someone could have bitten Shukaku's tail off again. Their house could have been attacked.

"They're playing ball inside the house again!" Ashura exclaimed in dismay, "they won't stop even though we told them to."

Hagoromo was aghast, it was far worse then he had anticipated, "has anything blown up yet?"

The other parents were quiet and probably in shock at the violent reaction to such a childish game. But startled when their new member mentioned explosives.

"Well, they took out the south wall..."

Hagoromo plastered a smile on his face and said to the parents, "I'll be at the next meeting."

The son and father ran out the door like the Hound of Baskerville was nipping at their heels.

-one week later-

Hagoromo bowed to his fellow parents, a patch of burnt hair on the top of his head drew their attention, before he continued his introduction, "Where was I? Ah, my wife is deceased, so parenting and dividing my attention amongst my children can be difficult. Without a female influence I'm not sure how they'll turn out...don't get me wrong! Women can be tough too and some men are cut out to be the domestics of the family. But my wife had a nature that I can't imitate," as Hagoromo spoke he was getting increasingly stressed sounding, "I worry that my daughters will suffer the heaviest from not having the nurturing ways of my late wife. But I think they will grow up to be able to protect themselves, I know my youngest daughter certainly will. My sons often get competitive and aren't to keen of keeping peace within the house hold.-"

Once again the father of eleven was interrupted by a son at the door, this time it was Indra.

Hagoromo's face drew into a tight frown that spoke of dread.

"...Matabi-chan set the graveyard on fire...again," Indra intoned nonchalantly like it was a common day occurrence. Which it probably was for the odd family.

Hagoromo made a sad tearful face that disturbingly resembled a distant future green beast, "why can't she leave the dead in peace?"

"She wanted to learn how to control corpses," Indra said, eyeing the room's interior with disinterest, "something about an old cat myth..."

Hagoromo sighed and turned to his fellow parents, "I'll be at the next meeting."

He and Indra left quickly, they weren't so frantic since they knew the cat couldn't technically kill anyone with her destructive power.

-one week later-

Hagoromo eyed the door for a moment, then eyed the wary adults in the room. With a deep intake he sped up his introduction, "One of my children has a superiority complex and a horrible temper, another has a semi-severe case of OCD but sweet at heart, another has a strange obsession over the dead, one has self image issues, and don't get me started on how picky some are over food. Others will eat whatever is put in front of them... Space is limited and I'm doing the best I can, but I 'm an old man."

Everyone looked at him with nervous eyes, uncertain what to do with the man that was had a now completely bald and burnt head. His once red and graying beard was singed black, he occasionally shook sand out his kimono, seeming quite used to the grit.

Continuing with a single breath, "One never goes to sleep, one plays with acid, one likes blasting rap music throughout the house in the wee hours of the morning, one bowls over his siblings when he's frustrated, they race indoors, they slap and burn each other, they bite one another, and I swear someone is stalking my home. I personally think it's my half brother."

Everyone was silent and turned to the door expectantly.

Then Hagoromo looked back at them and smiled pleasantly, "other then that, I have a normal family, why don't you tell me about yourselves?"

There was a knock at the door and Hagoromo sighed, "I'll be back next-"

"Look Touchyan, I tuned into a ningen," a young voice proclaimed happily from the threshold of the door. A young boy with a shock of bright red hair no more than six gave a toothy grin, showing off his incisors, his eyes were slitted red, his fox ears twitched excitedly, and his _nine fluffy red tails_ waved happily.

The parents deadpanned and looked at Hagoromo, whose face was covered by his hands, "Kurama-kun...where are your siblings?"

"Ah," the boy's tails stilled, "I think Indra-kei is in Shukaku's sandcastle's dungeon."

The parents in the room really hoped the young man wasn't actually trapped in a sandcastle. But with what they've heard thus far, they wouldn't be surprised.

Hagoromo massaged his temples, "why is Indra in the sand dungeon this time?"

"He wanted Shukaku to clean his room," Kurama said matter-of-factually.

Hagoromo groaned, "then where is Ashura?"

"Uh..." Kurama shuffled nervously, snout began lengthen as his concentration lessened on his transformation.

"Kurama," Hagoromo said in a warning tone.

Kurama began to get larger and whiskers popped out of his cheeks, "...uhhh..."

"Ashura-nii is looking for Kurama-nii and sent me to get you," a high pitched voice squeaked, it was a little girl with white hair (but seemed to have a blueish tint), and whose skin seemed rather slimy.

"Ah, Saiken-chan, would you be a dear and bring your wayward brother home?" Hagoromo said gently, Saiken was perhaps the most energetic child he had, but she was a sweet girl.

A blush covered her face, "I sorta got lost..."

Hagoromo sighed, "I'll be back next week...come along Kurama, Saiken. Oh, and Kurama, you're grounded."

Kurama pouted.

The parents shuffled around the room, before one said, "...his kids are cute?"

No one denied nor agreed to the questioned statement.

The End


	19. Chapter 18

**Esparia: *pulls self out of coffin* Imma ALIVE! Yosh, A Youthful Update! And we're finally introducing, the ichibi's jinchuriki and our favorite Kazekage, Gaara!**

**Gaara: *flies in on a sand disk* Hello. *walks away to grab a script***

**Esparia: Right, moving this right along. Disclaimer?**

**Disclaimer: Esparia does not own Naruto©, he belongs to Kishimoto. Surprise, surprise. That means Esparia doesn't own any characters from Naruto, nor does Esparia own any of the quotes from varies places. Esparia owns this story, not the characters within it unless it's an OC.**

**Esparia: However I only own half of the conversation between Koji and Taku. That is a semi direct quote from my cousin and I, grammar fixed. Then there are the insults I can hear between my siblings...I can't think of deep plot at the moment. Man this just got long...hence the later then desired update.**

* * *

Chapter Eighteen

Organized Chaos of Cloning

Dear Journal that is not a girly diary,

It is October the 10th, seven years after the Kyuubi attack. I have been captured by a horde of shadow clones and am currently in a guest room within an old seal testing facility. The only way out is either through inter-dimensional travel or through a door blocked by over powered jinchuriki clones. I am uncertain whether or not I will survive. They are currently debating on how much to tell me and needed me out of the room. Fortunately I am free of that chair, but have a represent seal on my forehead.

Uchiha Shisui

* * *

Shisui was tired. He had been up the entire night, along with the clones of Uzumaki Naruto, tied to a chair that allowed very poor blood circulation. The clones had decided that leaving him tied was not an issue, but his hooded face was starting to make them uneasy. He no longer had a hood in favor of donning a sharingan repressing seal stuck to his forehead.

The first things his mind had registered was the mass of orange clones. It had been quite horrifying to see right off the bat. Their was at least eighty moving about to finish Naruto and his' clubhouse. The place had turned into something that looked more like a friendly secret base. However he then noticed that their were five clones that looked a bit differently.

While all the other clones had orange and black jumpsuits, bad on the eyes but not as bad as Gai's green leotard, these five had unique characteristics.

The one that was yelling and adamantly insisting on his death was perhaps the one that struck him the most out of character. If he were to consider that this one was Naruto at all. He looked no more then thirteen, a very angry and disturbed thirteen year old if he ever saw one. He, like all the Naruto clones, had blonde hair and blue eyes. However his hair seemed to be dirtier, a bit singed around the edges, and looked like a rat family decided to make his head their home. His face seemed to be in a permanent frown, making his blue eyes seem almost alight with an angry inner fire. He also wore the standard orange jumpsuit his had blue trim instead of the black and was lose around him. It was stained and worn from constant use and also very burnt on the left sleeve to the point that there were holes in it. The skin that could be seen underneath looked almost completely unblemished. However, when he looked long enough he could make out the curling designs of "lightning flowers", sometimes made from being stuck by high levels of electricity.

Lightning affinities weren't common in the Uchiha clan, but let it not be said that Uchiha weren't as nuts for their lightning jutsu as for their fire jutsu. He swore that some Uchiha shouldn't be let around fire, crazy pyromaniac cousins setting pools on fire.

Shisui had learned that this one with the bad temper and curling scars was named "Mitsuo", though the others called him "Ryuji". It seemed to be an inside joke, which didn't bode well for his mild fear of pyromaniacs.

Mitsuo was talking, or more accurately arguing, with a slightly older Naruto. This Naruto looked to be about his age, about sixteen, but equally as childish as Mitsuo. His hair was generally cleaner then most Narutos. Bright spiky hair with crusted blood matting random parts of his head. He wore the orange and black monstrosity that also was stained with dried blood. The jumpsuit was unzipped in the from, letting strips of the orange cloth hang limply from being cut. This Naruto had a black and blood caked shirt beneath, it also had a long tear where a blade had cut through after cutting his orange jumpsuit. The hole in his shirt was freakishly large and showed off an impressive belly scar that still seemed fresh. He learned, through taunts and condescending words, that this Naruto was called Shiro. Who liked pointy things and fried fish, however hated being called a fish.

"Well what do you plan on telling him? Just let him die!" Mitsuo yelled, the Naruto that Shisui was liking less by the second.

"We can't," Shiro stressed. How many times Shisui had heard this conversation for the last few hours was beyond him. He was ready to tear his ears from his head if it meant silence.

"He's going to die anyway," Mitsuo humphed and crossed his arms.

Shisui sighed, _'of course I'm going to die, mortals tend to do that. I swear I'm probably the most likely person to kill myself at this point. If you keep repeating those words...I'm going to lose it and I'll kill you first you incessant clone. No that's to nice, I'll genjutsu you into living through what I lived through for the past six hours.'_

"Everyone dies eventually," Shiro sniffed in annoyance, seeing Mitsuo open his mouth he added, "even the "immortals"."

Shisui felt like there was a secret meaning behind the last few words. But there weren't such things as immortals.

Mitsuo puffed his cheeks up angrily, "What about that one albino, he was just decapitated and buried beneath the earth . Hence, not dead."

Shisui furrowed his eyebrows, _'just buried beneath the earth while being decapitated, not dead?'_

Shiro rubbed his forehead, "he was as good as dead. It wasn't like we could kill him anyway, creepy indestructible freak. I wouldn't be surprised if he just regrew a body eventually."

"So we'll light him on fire," Mitsuo hummed happily, "I reserve gasoline rights."

"He'd probably survive that too," Shiro grumbled, "I've seen weirder things then sentient piles of human ash."

"How would he move as a pile of sentient human ash?" Mitsuo questioned in a mocking tone, "hah, so he could be very well dead and no one would know the difference."

Shiro face soured, "Idiot, he'd still have chakra."

"Idiot?!" Mitsuo exclaimed indignantly and stomped his foot, "who are you calling idiot? At least _I_ wasn't the dobe of the class."

"I was a dobe who knew what he was doing," Shiro taunted his younger self, "what did you do in your life? Oh right, wallow in self pity managing to get the least accomplished out of all of us. Even Noriyuki did more."

"I was _grieving _you insensitive buffoon," Mitsuo snarled, straitening his back in anger.

"Insensitive? Me? Remind me who hurt everyone's feeling and lost the trust of the entire village," Shiro looked to the ceiling for inspiration and tapped his chin in thought, he let his fist hit his open palm, "oh, that's right. It was you, you depressive moron! Spouting nonsense about the apocalypse and the death over everyone in violently graphic details, in the ACADEMY! Yet you wonder why you were the only one not to befriend Kura-chan."

Mitsuo clenched his fists, teeth gnashing, and hissed, "you were just a kiss up half-wit."

Shiro's face reddened and stepped towards the shorter blonde, "imbecilic snake food!"

"Pea brained, yet to evolve plankton!" Mitsuo yelled back stepping forward as well.

"At least I have a brain," Shiro shot back, looming over the younger with a smirk, "did that snake fry what's left of your brain when he bit you or are you just terminally stupid?"

"I had an honorable death, unlike you," growled Mitsuo, "You just lay there and let yourself be gutted like the brain dead fish you are. You couldn't even save-"

"Fool!" Shiro roared, "I'll kill you for mentioning that!"

Shisui felt his features tighten, making him resemble a very constipated first year academy teacher. He really wish he could plug his ears from the booming echos in the room.

"Please don't kill each other," a third Naruto sighed, "how would we explain it to Naruto? Besides, a murder would really ruin the light mood."

Shisui deadpanned and turned his attention to the other Narutos, _'light mood?'_

Shisui noticed that all the other Narutos were ignoring the angry duo. From their nonchalant attitudes, he assumed they argued a lot. While Mitsuo and Shiro argued the other clones went about doing their own thing. The one that spoke was playing Shogi with another clone.

The one that spoke was the second most rational clone he had met thus far. He appeared to be in his early twenties. His hair was clean and tidy, it was a little on the long side that made him almost resemble the Yellow Flash. However it was more wind swept then the Yondaime's and had shorter side bangs. He had black sandals and black trousers, his shirt was also black but had an orange trim. He had a gray flak jacket with an orange spiral on his back. He had looked like an older version of Shiro, or an older version of all of them really. After some observation, however, showed that man had _very_ dilated pupils and a flushed skin tone. It was like he had a very bad fever or was drugged without any impairment to movement. This man was named Koji, fun loving and gentle. He seemed to be a fiercely protective kind, but it was hard to tell without knowing him for a long period of time outside of Shisui's own imprisonment.

Koji, unlike Mitsuo and Shiro, was about the right maturity for his age. He was a little goofy, but wasn't acting like a brat either, which was a small blessing when he considered what some of his fellow Jounin acted like. He also wanted Shisui alive, so that was just points in Shisui's good books.

The Naruto Koji was playing with hadn't spoken much, he coughed and wheezed a lot which led Shisui to believe the boy was sick. This Naruto was named Taku. Taku would look around the room with weary dull blue eyes, critically eyeing the worker clone's progress. If he saw something that would be hazardous, he would correct it. He looked older then Shisui by a few years, and seemed nice by nature but wore a haunted expression. He didn't have any orange on, instead wore the uniform of the disbanded Root division. His clothes were in tatters and he didn't carry a kabuki mask on him, which meant there wasn't a high chance he was still in an underground army. Squad leaders made sure their shinobi had mended clothing or replacement clothing so as not to let it become a hindrance. This Naruto seemed sick, sicker then a mild fever like Koji had. His skin was pale and taut, hair dull and matted, and he had ghastly wounds that looked infected covering his visible body. Shisui wasn't a medic, but he was pretty sure that the red patches of skin were a sign of blood poisoning. Which really should be taken care of as soon as possible.

"They'll ruin the mood anyway," Taku murmured then coughed into his sleeve.

"Point," Koji agreed, he glanced at the board and moved his silver general into a new position with a smirk, "ha, take that General Taku. What you gonna do now? Hm? Nothing, that's what. Because you are doomed in my next two moves!"

Taku looked up, "do you want to promote?"

"Heck naw," Koji shook his head, "those gold generals don't have the diagonal movements I like using."

Taku hummed in agreement and eyed the placement of his look a like's silver general, moving his "bishop".

Koji moved his general confidently.

"Promotion?" Taku coughed, eyes flickering up to Koji's smug face.

"Nope," Koji grinned, "why don't you surrender now. I promise to treat your men mercifully."

"I believe," Taku said quietly while he picked up a piece from his captured wooden tiles, "it is I that should be saying that. Hisshi."

"Eh? EH! No!" Koji wailed, "Why do you always do that? You are truly a Kisei, General Taku. Teach me your ways."

Taku shook his head and chucked, "Rematch?"

"Rematch," Koji grumbled and began resetting the board.

Shisui turned back to the bickering duo.

"-oh yeah?" Mitsuo growled, "Well your mother was hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Shiro face palmed, "your mother was my mother, so you just insulted your own mother. Moronic narwhal."

"Who are you calling a narwhal?" Mitsuo yelled, waving his hands in the air, "if I'm a narwhal then you're a narwhal without a horn."

Shisui scrunched his eyes shut, _'there is no place like home. There is no place like home. There is no place like home.'_

Shisui felt a tap on his bound arms and opened his eyes to look down at a pair of wide blue eyes. Innocence practically brimming behind those big doe eyes. This Naruto was the same age as the Naruto he knew. Looked like an exact replica, pudgy cheeks, bright eyes, soft blonde hair, and a heart warming smile. A perfect clone, except for the fact that child was wearing blood stained pajamas. There was also a sluggish wound on his head, and if Shisui didn't know better he would have said it penetrated the child's skull. The boy's name was Noriyuki. Sweet kid, from what he could tell, but was off putting with his blood stained innocence.

"I'm bored," Naruto- Noriyuki said.

"And I'm tied to a chair," Shisui said flatly, "I can't play with you."

"Will you let me draw on your face?" Noriyuki asked kindly, "please?"

"It's not like I can stop you," Shisui grumbled.

"Yatta! Wait right there Shisui-san!" Noriyuki exclaimed and dashed off to one of the side rooms.

"Potato," Mitsuo yelled angrily.

"Potato," Shiro yelled back, pronouncing it differently.

"I'm telling you it's potato," Mitsuo stomped his foot.

"No, it's potato," Shiro denied.

"What?" Koji exclaimed, pointing accusingly at Taku, who raised an eyebrow, "why you cowardly general. How dare you hide amongst the hippie troops. They're just harmless pawns who only want to smoke weed and promote peace throughout the wooden board's borders. But now you've brought the fight to them! You're hippie pawns will be thwarted by my hippie pawns. Ha! Take that you cowardly tree hugger!" *

Taku coughed and moved his bishop.

"No! My peace loving pawns!" cried Koji in anguish, "well take this. Eat my golden-"

Taku moved a pawn previously unnoticed, upgrading it to it's supreme super powered pawn promotional state.

"Ah!" Koji exclaimed in panic, "Flee, Jade man! Flee! Save yourself!"

Taku shook his head and captured Koji's Jade General.

Noriyuki ran back toward Shisui with his arms filled with strange items. Shisui eyed what the child was carrying in worry. Naruto was a known prankster, said to have been giving genin grief in his wild chases. It was even said that they had to recently pull in chunin. Naruto was a prankster and Noriyuki was essentially Naruto. It didn't bode well that the child carried questionable items.

"Okay, close your eyes," Noriyuki sang, eyes close and he grinned at the older boy.

"Why-"

"Close them!" The boy snapped, eyes blazing before reverting back to his serene expression.

Shisui closed his eyes, fear wriggling in his stomach as he forced himself to remain still as the child pushed, poked, and yanked on his face and hair.

"Okay~ Now open your eyes," Noriyuki giggled excitedly.

Shisui opened his eyes only to see the gleeful face that looked like it should belong to Naruto after he pulled off the biggest con in history.

Noriyuki clapped his hands and laughed, "Look guys! Look, I turned Shisui-san into-"

"Kill it! Kill it!" Mitsuo screamed manically, pointing at Shisui and hiding behind Shiro. Shiro was pale and looked ready to lose his dinner. He was shaking and holding his stomach protectively.

The worker clones began running around in panic, "what is _he_ doing here?"

"How did he get in here?"

"Kill him!"

"With fire!"

"What's with you and fire?"

"It kills things, okay!"

"I say we pull a Deidara and make some art. Art is a bang, un!"

"Will you all just be quiet," Koji's cool voice was barely above the normal speaking level, but it echoed around the room. Everyone was quickly silenced. Koji marched over to Shisui, who was cowering in his seat, and ripped off a long black wig.

Shisui eyed the wig in confusion, why had the clones responded to him like that?

"It's Uchiha Shisui, clones have are exempt from this embarrassment, but you two," Koji gestured with the wig, "are absolutely pathetic. Noriyuki, explain."

"W-well, I thought it'd be fun to work on my disguises..."Noriyuki said quietly, face cast downward.

Koji sighed and ruffled the child's hair, "next time, don't choose to make him look so..."

"Promise," Noriyuki agreed readily before bouncing away to join the other clones in setting up furniture. The curse of Ikea was upon the clubhouse.

Shisui never wanted a mirror so badly as he did now.

* * *

The clone that played the role of Shisui was sleeping on his minion's bed. The dinner with the head's family wasn't too difficult since they barely talked and Fugaku wasn't there to interrogate him. Itachi had sent him looks every now and then that wouldn't have been noticeable if Naruto wasn't paranoid and extremely used to the Uchiha's version of subtle. Any other ninja wouldn't have noticed, but Naruto was too well acquainted with the clan to not notice. Naruto knew that he wasn't well equipped to infiltrate the Uchiha compound full of Uchiha while impersonating an influential best friend of the clan heir.

Other then the slight slip up when Mikoto asked about the upcoming festival, it was an easy going dinner. Once he was finished he politely excused himself and went to Shisui's house. It took a little breaking and entering skills he picked up in his first Timeline to get in, but nothing could keep the copy clone from the soft bed.

His dreamless slumber was interrupted by a masked chakra signature. After wars, fighting highly trained dead guys, and constantly watching out for a plant man that could faze through walls and a man who could faze through space; Naruto became a light sleeper to masked presences. Come at him without hiding your signature and he might not even stir.

The clone subtly gripped the kunai hidden beneath his pillow. The presence didn't belong to an Uchiha, which was a relief, but he knew that the level of skill the person was exhibiting was at least ANBU level. However, Naruto knew the patrol patterns like the back of his hand. The ANBU didn't do this section of Konoha at this hour. Leaving the likeliest possibility to the ninja being a Ne-nin.

It wasn't moving from it's post outside Shisui's window. It meant that Shisui was either being spied on or it was a message for a mission and Shisui was secretly a bloody turncoat and working for the child abusing, grave desecrating, power hungry traitor.

Maybe if he ignored it...nope, not going to happen. No one spies on his friends and gets away with it, dattebayo!

The clone got up and leaped out of the window with his pouch securely around his leg. The Root ninja fled but the clone gave chase, Naruto's clones were fast. Shisui of the body flicker was faster, unless Naruto's clone decided to take after the Yondaime and make people question if there was a ghost of the Hokage running around. Iwa would be crying for mercy by dawn.

* * *

Hajime and Naruto entered Sunagakure a few hours after the gates opened to travelers.

The duo got through with only a minor hiccup that resulted in a confiscated pineapple plant. It would be returned when they left, much to Hajime's relief. Apparently pineapple importation was illegal due to an incident a few years previous.

Sunagakure was a large village, especially when one considered where it was located. Even though the water supply was hidden deep within the unforgiving landscape, and it was hard to grow any form of food in the barren waste, it was a wealthy village. Wealth made from its natural ores, glass blowing, pottery spinning, and salt trade.

The buildings had a rounded architecture, Naruto guessed that it had something to do with sand build up that would occur if the roofs were too flat. He imagined that it would cause roofs to collapse if a sandstorm got too out of hand. Then again, he questioned the sanity the founding fathers of the sand village who decided it was a good idea to make a village out in the middle of a dessert.

Naruto held Hajime's hand as they walked through the busy streets. The citizens of Sunagakure were trying to get all their shopping done before the sun reached its peak, nobody wanted to be caught in the furnace the village would turn into. Naruto and Hajime walked down the streets until they came across the rock outcropping that was the designated park.

A set of swings and a dirt packed field for playing was really all there was. Well there was a sandbox, but that was sort of redundant to rest of the park.

Hajime knelt down next to his younger counterpart, playing up the responsible and protective older brother and said, "Now listen carefully, I'm going to look for our uncle while you stay here. It shouldn't take long, but no matter what, I'll be back in time for lunch. And remember, no leaving the park, no talking to strangers, do not-"

"do not take ramen or candy from strangers no matter how convincing they are. Play nice with other kids, unless other kids want to fight, then I have to kick other kids' butt. No pranking people I don't know. If I see a pervert, don't approach him and report him to the nearest kunoichi. If I get caught in quick sand, tread it like water. If I get caught in a freak sandstorm, go to the nearest adult for help. Don't play in the streets if the village if it's under attack. But most importantly, don't talk to snake men," Naruto recited dutifully. It was something he would tell Gaara's kids whenever he babysat. Those dark red headed runts were a handful. Absolutely brimming with energy and loved losing their personal guards.

Hajime smiled and ruffled Naruto's hair before exiting the park in "search" for their uncle.

Naruto hummed happily and sat on an open bench. He flipped open his orange notebook and tapped his chin, "Hm, what to write...well let's start with...October 10th, sixth year of the seventh timeline...my birthday has an unequal amount of bad memories to good memories..."

Naruto wrote a little more before he saw a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. Looking up he spotted the lone redhead sitting silently on a rock, sea foam green eyes watching a ball bounce back and forth between the laughing children.

Naruto finished up what he was writing with a grin and bounded through the gaggle of kids, dodging flying balls and running ankle biters. He tripped on a protruding rock and landed face first into the sand. Naruto glared heatedly at the rock that tripped him, standing up with his feet firmly planted in the ground he put a fist on his hip while the other pointed at the small stone. He narrowed his eyes and loudly declared, "you have a problem rock? Well maybe next time you should pick on somebody your own size!"

Naruto kicked the rock and sent it sailing through the air, clocking a hiding assassin in the head and rendering him unconscious. Not that any non-ninja like a blonde six year old jinchuriki would notice.

"Stupid rock," Naruto grumbled, not necessarily referring to the small fist sized stone he just kicked.

Naruto then turned to Gaara, who was watching the whole ordeal with mild amusement. He surprised Gaara when he grinned and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, "these rocks just pop out of nowhere. Haha..."

Gaara turned his head to looked behind him, expecting there to be someone else the blonde was talking to. Nobody ever talked to _him_, the village _monster_. To his surprise he didn't see anyone behind him.

"Oi! Don't ignore me, I was talking to you!" Naruto exclaimed.

Gaara turned to face the loud kid and pointed to himself, "me?"

"No, I'm talking to the air," Naruto said sarcastically, "who do you think? You're the only one in front of me."

Gaara merely blinked in confusion.

Naruto trotted up to the boy and grinned, "My name is Uzumaki Naruto. You looked lonely sitting by yourself so I came over to say hi."

Gaara tilted his head when Naruto plopped down beside him. Gaara was uncomfortable with the proximity and scooted away. Naruto swung his legs back and forth, pretending not to notice Gaara's retreat.

Naruto tilted his head towards Gaara, "and your name is..."

Gaara was confused, why wasn't this kid running away from him? This kid was acting so friendly, maybe he didn't mind Gaara or maybe he didn't know he was a monster...

"My name is Gaara," he said quietly, waiting for the boy's reaction or recognition.

Naruto nodded, "nice to meet you. So, Gaara, what do you do for fun?"

Not the reaction he was expecting from the blonde, then Gaara frowned and echoed, "fun?"

Naruto's face contorted, "yeah, fun. You know, things you enjoy doing. What you do to relax. Your favorite hobbies or activities...fun."

"I read and stargaze," Gaara settled on. He didn't do much else beside accidentally kill people every now and then.

Naruto smiled, "I like looking at the stars too. I prank grown ups and bullies. I also like spending time with my friends and making new ones."

Gaara looked away, was Naruto pranking him...thinking that he was a bully? Or was Naruto insinuating that he wanted to be Gaara's friend?

Then, as if reading his thoughts, Naruto asked, "Do you wanna be my friend, Gaara?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes, "are you pranking me?"

Naruto frowned, "No, why would I prank you? What made you think that?"

"Nobody wants to be my friend," Gaara replied matter of factually.

Naruto was silent for a moment, eyes wandering to the loud children playing.

Gaara thought perhaps the blonde would leave, retracting his offer of friendship. But to his surprise Naruto crossed his arms and puffed up his cheeks, "well I want to be your friend."

Gaara's mouth tightened, trying to figure out if this kid really wanted to be _his_ friend, "I'm a monster."

"Well you don't feel like one," Naruto declared loudly, then eyed Gaara, "who tells you that?"

"My father, the villagers, other kids..." Gaara trailed off.

Naruto's mouth dropped, he clenched his teeth together and stood up.

Gaara looked at Naruto impassively, waiting for the boy to declare the same. After all, if everyone was saying it, surely it was the correct thing. Naruto began walking and Gaara looked down, he knew it wouldn't have happened. However, he had hoped that he could've made a friend.

Gaara started when he saw a pair of feet in front of his own. Gaara looked up to see the shadowed face of Naruto.

"Gaara," Naruto said lowly, anger bubbling beneath the surface.

"Yes?" Gaara inquired, managing to keep his voice even, even though his heart clenched painfully.

Naruto's hands were shaking in contained fury, "where would I get some cornstarch, balloons, confetti, and some string around here?"

Gaara was confused by this and asked, "why?"

"Gaara," Naruto said, looking directly into the curious green eyes of his future past friend, "you'll be joining me. We're going to prank a bully adult."

Gaara shuffled, confusion written across his young face.

"We're going to prank you dad," Naruto declared with a sly grin.

* * *

** Esparia: *collapses* *pumps fists in the air* Success! ...Review/follow/fav/hate...whatever... *sits up* I suppose you awesome readers noticed the * after the rather odd conversation between Koji and Taku, well my cousin and I love playing Shogi together since we are literally the only ones in the family that know how to. Needless to say that we hit stalemates at times and the most frequent thing is for all the pawn in one corner to just awkwardly sit to the side. The pawns don't move because they can't and generally don't end up with much purpose until something happens. It became a long running joke between us that they were boycotting war with flowers and pasta, until we just ended up calling them the peace loving hippie pawns. The incident with the Jade General (or king) was a real thing. We make jokes every now and then about the cowardly general that didn't want to fight so he ran off to join the hippies. There, now you know.**

**Gaara: *walks in* We're half way done writing the next update.**

**Esparia: Perfect...my plans are coming together perfectly. Mwahahaha!**


	20. Chapter 19

**Esparia: I'm surprised how many of you looked forward to reading Gaara's father get his butt handed to him by two punk jinchuriki. Hopefully this satisfies you guys.**

**Fourth Kazekage: ...**

**Esparia: *awkward cough* Disclaimer?**

**Disclaimer: Esparia does not own what is Kishimoto's.**

**Sasuke: *stealthily comes up to the Kazekage* I'm planning a rebellion, so we can escape the crazy writer...do you want to join? It's from 5 to 7 on Wednesdays, behind the radiator room.**

**Kazekage: That is acceptable.**

* * *

Chapter Nineteen

My Red Headed Psychopath

October 11th, Sixth year of the 7th Timeline,

Yesterday was the best sixth birthday I've ever had. Gaara and I have hit it off well, and I'm glad I don't have to worry about keeping things at home calm. I'm sure my clones are smart enough to disappear before Shisui shows up tomorrow. I wonder how much has been finished of my awesome fort, almost done I should think.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

The Naruto clone sighed as he dragged himself through the forest to his father's old man cave. Emiko and Nobuo had gone overboard on the small festivity for him. He wouldn't get into detail, but everything was over done for a party of four. Emiko, Nobuo, himself, and the ANBU Inu. Not that the ANBU showed himself, but Naruto would recognize that signature anywhere.

The Naruto clone had finally gotten to the hidden door and pried it open. To his annoyance, most of the clones were sleeping, Mitsuo and Shiro were _still_ bickering like children, and Shisui was tied to the chair with the face of-

The Naruto clone in charge pinched the bridge of his nose and slowly counted to ten. Clearing his throat to gain everyone's attention, "would someone care to explain to me why Uchiha Shisui looks like he was just put through Orochimaru's body transfer?"

Noriyuki bounced happily and waved, "I was practicing non-chakra based disguises!"

The clone's eye twitched, "and you thought it was a good idea to dress him up like a high class missing ninja?"

"I look like what?!" Shisui's indignant cry echoed the quiet room.

The clone marched over to Shisui and cut his ropes.

Shisui eyed the clone suspiciously, carefully rubbing his wrists to get his blood circulating.

"Oi! We haven't decided on what to do with him yet," Shiro exclaimed, tensing for an attack made by the Uchiha. The worker clones, now awake, jumped into a fighting position too.

The Naruto clone was getting annoyed, "I leave for an entire night and you haven't even gotten an idea of what to do? Well, since I'm in charge here I say the Uchiha knows too much."

"Do I get to kill him or do you want to?" Mitsuo asked "politely".

Shisui paled.

"We are going to tell him, but not everything. If he turns on us, we can't have him spilling out knowledge to the enemy. We'll discuss this while Shisui is in a separate room."

Shisui found himself being frog marched into a bunk room, turning he spotted a clone nod, "we'll be guarding. No funny business...and I suggest washing your face off."

With that, the Uchiha was sealed off and left to his own devices. A hand mirror was on the sink.

Hesitantly, Shisui picked it up and looked at his reflection. If Shisui could pale further from fear or horror, he would have. But the pale make up on his face made it impossible to do so. Staring back at him was the snake sannin.

Shisui's cry of anguish could be heard outside the supposedly soundproof bunker.

* * *

The Kazekage was sitting at his desk. He had just gotten back from a rather tiring meeting and was going through the scrolls. The Paper Pile of Doom was every kage's personal mortal enemy, but an angry council was every kage's second to worst nightmare. They were pushing him to increase his attempts at killing his son. While his love for Gaara was just as strong for his other offspring, he knew that the village would be safer and benefit from the jinchuriki's demise. At this point in time, no assassin had been successful in even landing a hit on his son, foreign or otherwise. There were plenty of attempts on his son's life, but all of them had ended up turned into blood sausage. He didn't know how to go about killing his jinchuriki.

A knock from his office door brought his attention away from the boring scroll to answer.

"Enter," he intoned, whatever his ninja had to say was probably an infinite more interesting then the estimates for glass window trade for the next six months.

A middle aged shinobi walked in and cleared his throat, "Sir, we have a problem in the lower levels."

The leader of the hidden sand village sighed, his breath not even moving his veil, "and what is this problem?"

"Balloons," the man stated.

"Balloons," the Kazekage echoed, not understanding the problem with balloons.

The man twitched under his kage's stare, "we need you skill with sand."

The Kazekage was beyond confused but decided it was better then figures, so he let his subordinate lead him down the stairs.

He physically didn't show any signs of surprise when he came down the stairs. But he wasn't afraid to admit to himself that he was inwardly stumped at how the large room could have been covered from floor to ceiling in colorful party balloons without his shinobi noticing.

A few shinobi had balloons stuck to them and couldn't seem to get them off.

"The balloons are heavily charged with static electricity and refuse to come off unless popped," the man explained.

The powerful Kazekage looked at his subordinate with a mild look of contempt for wasting his time. While an Uchiha's stare would translate to, "you are beneath my awesome-uchiha-ness, peasant"; the Kazekage's stare would translate to, "fool. Why do you bother me with your petty problem when you clearly have a solution".

"They are kunai resistant," the shinobi explained to his silent leader, "only can be popped with sand. But since we can't manipulate the sand..."

The Kazekage then understood why their were so many gashes in the walls and so few popped balloons.

The Kazekage formed sand bullets and stabbed all the balloons in the room with a loud "pop!". The balloons fell from the walls with their rubbery corpses littering the ground. However the ones on the ceiling released colorful confetti into the air along. One balloon had hidden a rotating disco ball that lit up when other hidden battery operated lights also attached to the ceiling were revealed. The balloon that was holding the play button down on hidden beat box let out the heavy base of a dubstep song. A long and colorful banner fell from the ceiling that read, "Happy Recognition Day for being the Worst Father Ever! It takes skill to be this bad!"

The shinobi in the room paled, one bowed and stuttered out a, "W-we'll clean th-this up..."

"Do that," the Kazekage said and took his leave, face stoic. His heart a little heavier at the banner's words. But he was also furious, how dare someone mock him about things they didn't understand? He was doing everything for their sake, couldn't they see?

The man was so angry he didn't notice the light click when he opened the door and extra click when he shut the door. He did notice, however, when five sets of giant balloons filled with water and cornstarch came into contact with his head.

* * *

"AURRRRRRGH!" was the enraged exclamation that echoed throughout the entire Hidden Sand Village.

Hajime paused his conversation with a vegetable seller to look for the person responsible for such a loud voice.

That yell of frustration and need for vengeance sounded like someone who had just been pranked. He had told Naruto to not leave the park so it couldn't have been him responsible...could it?

"Nah," Hajime dismissed before going back to asking the produce seller about his "uncle".

* * *

Naruto snickered and handed his binoculars back to his red headed psycho. Gaara blinked and looked through his father's window again.

"Did it injure him?" Gaara asked with curiosity as he watched his father try to remove gunk from his face in a panicked manner.

"Huh? No! Well, yes. But only his pride," Naruto amended and snickered before pulling out a small container, "here."

Gaara held out his hand and watched Naruto carefully pour out the whitish goo. Gaara looked at the gooey puddle in his hand then up at Naruto.

Naruto grinned, "clench your fist around it."

Gaara followed Naruto's instructions and gasped, "it's hard...but...it's," he relaxed his small fist and watched the substance slide through his fingers, "...it's liquid?"

"Cornstarch and water, it's a non-Newtonian fluid. Other kids call it Oobleck," Naruto explained with a grin. One of the perks about being Iruka's student was that the old prankster knew how to make the strangest things while still having his teacher mode on.

"This is rather strange," Gaara commented, flicking the Oobleck with a finger and pinching it.

"Yeah, if you had enough of it, you could run across it. _Without_ the need for chakra," Naruto grinned watching Gaara turn his hand upside down to watch the stuff slowly drip of his fingers and hit the roof, "it's also hard to get out of hair and clothing."

Gaara's mouth twitched, letting the barest hint of a smile show through.

"I bet people that can manipulate water could move that stuff around like a blob of doom," Naruto thought out loud, "that would be terrifying to be trapped in."

Gaara flinched slightly, the description sounded like what happened with his sand, Naruto pretended not to notice the flinch, "oi, Gaara. Now that we pranked you father, do you wanna do something else? I still have a few hours before Hajime picks me up."

"I usually watch the village from the roof until I'm called in to eat," Gaara nodded up to the roof of the central building.

Naruto looked at the roof and then around at the streets of people, "you seriously need more variety to your day. Experts say that children that don't get enough brain stimulation in their developmental stages will have a harder time learning and socializing later in life," Naruto said, nodding sagely, "or in simple terms, become really stupid adults."

Gaara raised a metaphorical eyebrow, since he neither had eyebrows nor made facial expressions, "who are the "experts"?"

Naruto scratched his head, "stuffy scientists that want to know everything about everything."

Gaara nodded and went back to poking his Oobleck.

Naruto frowned, Gaara's rather violent and boring childhood explained why his friend had been so serious and watched Naruto play with his own children. His poor Sand Tanuki didn't have any fun growing up, even Naruto had his pranks when he didn't have anyone to play with. No, this wasn't going fly.

Naruto dropped his hand on Gaara's shoulder, making Gaara jump. Not many got close enough to touch him, let alone touch him without being pulverized.

Gaara looked up nervously at Naruto's determined face.

"Gaara, my friend," Naruto said gravely, "we are going to have fun."

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked in confusion, wasn't what they were doing fun?

"We're going to play ball," Naruto declared, remembering how Gaara asked him how to play ball when he had his first child. When Kakashi sent him on a S-rank mission to Suna, he had not thought that Gaara would demand being taught how to play children's games. Granted he didn't want Temari or Kankuro to know, so it was strictly confidential. It was the strangest S-rank mission he had ever had of solely teaching basic games to the Kazekage, granted their was that missing-nin that got roped into playing hop-scotch with them...

"I don't have a ball," Gaara said, pulling Naruto out of his musings.

Naruto pouted, unsurprised, "then we'll buy one. Where do we get one?"

"Um," Gaara though over his memories of people watching, "there is a 'Toy Store' near the bridal shop."

Naruto tilted his head, "and where is that?"

Gaara pointed down the street, "past the bath and sauna."

"Yatta, come on Gaara!" Naruto yelled excitedly, grabbing the other by his hand and dropping down into the streets to race off to the Toy Store.

* * *

Shisui was lying on a bed in the bedroom, he had been in the room for a good while. He had guessed that it was almost noon since the clone that had brought him breakfast had left an hour before he took a four hour nap.

Just as he was contemplating another nap a knock at the door was heard.

Shisui didn't like being held hostage by a bunch of shadow clones, but was grateful that they were at least polite.

"You can come in," he said, three clones entering the room.

"Shisui-san," a clone, Koji, he noticed in surprise, "we have decided what to tell you."

Shisui sat up and walked to join them at the door, noting their tired faces.

He was lead up the stairs to the side that resembled a lounge. He wasn't sure what to make of the tea innocently sitting on the coffee table. The last time he had accepted tea from Naruto, the drink had been laced with truth serum. Who knows what could be in his tea this time.

The Narutos that had the different personalities were seated around him, with the regular clone that had walked in earlier to his left and Taku to his right. Koji sat between Shiro and Mitsuo, playing peacemaker. Noriyuki decided to sit in Taku's lap, nibbling on pocky.

"So, what is it that you want to tell me?" Shisui decided to ask, since all the Narutos were just sitting and staring. He tried to ignore the army of clones milling about the room, eavesdropping on the nonexistent conversation.

Taku cleared his throat, "I think we should leave this conversation to Naruto, however -cough cough- he is not here at the moment..."

Shisui raised an eyebrow, "where is he?"

"He's making a friend," Noriyuki chirped, grabbing another sugary stick.

The clone to his left nodded, "since the Boss can't make it, I'm representing him."

"Why couldn't Naruto come?" Shisui asked, worry for the little boy creeping into his mind. Even though he was confused and rather annoyed by the strange twist of events, he did care for the boy.

"He's in Suna," Noriyuki chirped happily, "maybe when he's done, I can finally meet our Red Haired Psychopath."

"Not that you would want to, the jerk nearly took off my head," Mitsuo growled.

"That's just because you were being a bully," Noriyuki said while crossing his arms, "besides, I'm the only one who hasn't met Gaara. It's not fair."

Taku coughed, "we are getting off topic."

The Naruto clone nodded, "I'll be blunt, Shisui-san. Naruto-oyabun has traveled back in time six times, this is his seventh time growing up."

Shisui's mind stuttered to a halt. As a ninja, and an ANBU to boot, he had seen and heard many strange things. He had thought the strangest things he would ever have to witness was the time he had to prevent a hidden war from surfacing. The underground librarian societies were very close to involving civilians and shinobi in their centuries old feud, but he had been fortunate enough to be born with the power to influence thoughts of other. Librarians were not to be messed with, he had a fearful respect for them now.

"I think you broke his brain," Shiro joked lightly.

"How?" Shisui asked.

"As in the techniques and theory of how time travel is possible or what sent us back?" Koji asked, holding Mitsuo and Shiro back as they fought in the background. Something everyone ignored.

"Both," Shisui replied hesitantly. He was worried that this time travel jutsu could fall into the wrong hands, if a vengeful nuke-nin was able to go back in time and mess up the world...

"We don't know how it's possible, just that it happened. We were chosen to go back and fix the future," the Naruto Representative said.

"Ah," Shisui said, "not a technique then?"

"Nope," all the Narutos replied in synchronization.

Now that his fear that a horrible ninja could just up and travel back in time to make the world however they wanted was gone, he didn't know what to think. Should he ask about his future? His family's? Konoha's? Speaking which, it explained how Naruto knew so many things, the kid had also said Shisui himself died. Not in a good way either.

The Narutos looked up at him expectantly.

"How did I die?" Shisui asked, what a strange thing to ask a bunch of shadow clones.

"Suicide," the Narutos said in union, except for Noriyuki who was stuffing his face full of food.

"Oh," Shisui said, looking down. It wasn't how he had wanted to leave the world. He had wanted a death with meaning, a death that allowed another to live longer or keep another safe. He didn't want such a useless death, so why would he kill himself?

Seeing the unasked question, Koji replied, "I had heard that you had committed suicide after gifting Itachi-san with your remaining eye. You feared that Danzo would get a hold of it since he had previously taken your other eye. Danzo later uses the eye and other eyes of your clansmen to manipulate others. No idea what happened to your body outside of it being completely unusable."

Shisui's face scrunched, "unusable?"

"Yeah," Noriyuki said happily, happy that he could contribute to the conversation since he knew what they were talking about. Noriyuki didn't know much about Shisui or events that happened in the world, but he did know a lot about the techniques since that's all the little six year old was responsible with. Writing down and breaking down theories of jutsu to give to the Hokage as a tip off. Noriyuki swallowed what was in his mouth, "Drama Queen and Danzo-hakadorobou wanted your body. Hakadorobou for your eye and experimentation and the Uchiha Elder wanted to add you to his army of undead."

"What?" Shisui asked in confusion.

"Too much information, Nori," Mitsuo grumbled, "you destroyed your body so it doesn't matter what he just said."

"We could put Shisui-san in the Anti-Zombie division of our plan," Shiro offered.

"But his eyes would be better if we sent him undercover. Imagine what we could do if we could get into the plant's head," Koji said.

All the Narutos grinned as a plan began to form in their collective minds.

Shisui looked around in worry, he didn't like that smile. It was unsettling.

"Would it work?" Taku asked, breaking the silence, "is it possible to get both sides of th plant-man wonder at the same time? They are essentially different people, but connected enough to communicate what the other is thinking or seeing. You cannot genjutsu one and not have the other disrupt it."

There was a heavy silence until Shiro grumbled, "way to rain on our parade."

"The plant man?" Shisui asked.

"The ugliest Ueki you'll have the pleasure to meet," Shiro said.

"I don't know," Koji said, thinking back on his Timeline, "those white clone things were terrifyingly grotesque. Plant man himself was just disturbing."

"He ate people! Cannibals are more disturbing then mutilated bodies," Shiro denied, shivering at the memories.

"It's not cannibalism if he isn't a human, he is part tree after all," Koji said.

"I still don't want to know what the Bunny Queen was thinking when she made him," Shiro sighed.

"Bunny Queen?" Shisui asked.

"The stupid lady that ate fruit that made chakra in humans and released a bunch of chaos into the world," Koji explained.

"Huh?"Shisui was so completely lost as to what they were saying that he swore to himself that he would never make the mistake of underestimating a child again.

The next five hours would be spent explaining the basic outline of all their worlds but not in great detail. They didn't need Shisui to know the differences of the timelines, just the plans of enemies and what they would or would not do if something happened. As they talked and explained away, two little jinchuriki entered a Toy Store.

* * *

**Esparia: Mou, I don't know if I'm happy with this chapter. Follow, Review, leave suggestions, ask questions...as a side note, watch toddlers play with Oobleck... Adorable.**


	21. Chapter 20

**Esparia: Looks like chapter twenty is up, and that means...**

**-Background cricket chirping-**

**Esparia: ...that means I'm going through all the chapters! But uh...since it's break, my family decided that we're going to go on a camping/hiking/road trip for about a week. Meaning no editing time...so I guess I'll take that time to write in my "Black Binder of Extra Paper" where I make almost all of my drafts. Start a new chapter or maybe outline a little more...ick. ...and I might have failed Chemistry even though I worked super hard to understand that crap...which means I might have to do summer school... I HATE STOICIHMOTRY! Bane of my existence...easiest lesson teacher said...easy my foot. **

**Disclaimer: Kishomoto owns his own brand of insanity that came in the form of Naruto. Esparia doesn't have Kishimoto's brand of insanity, so it obviously doesn't belong to Esparia.**

**Sasuke: *chuckles evilly* **_**'A week with no crazy writer, then an entire month if not more of just editing?! Yes, I will finally be able to pull out my diabolical plan to escape this imprisonment!'**_

* * *

Chapter Twenty

Toys and Ramen

October 12th, Sixth year of the 6th Timeline,

I have been infiltrating the Hokage's office for about a week now, like I said I would be doing. It's saddening how easy it is after spending my time in Root. I miss them... Sai, Shin, Dajimu, Torune, Tera, Fuu, Kinoe, Nonoo, Tatsuma, Terai... They were comrades, I can't leave them there in the darkness again. I will get them out. I can't get in now, but if I get the Hokage's attention on Root, then maybe he'll intervene.

My friends are important to me, all of them are. From my oldest of friends from the first Timeline to enemies that will become my friends in this Timeline, I will keep my friends safe. I promised...and Uzumaki never go back on their promises.

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Gaara gripped his new friend's sleeve, causing Naruto to trip mid step. Looking at Gaara with concern he asked, "what is it?"

Gaara looked at the store they were standing by and then back at Naruto, "we're here."

Naruto blinked up at the store's sign before grinning, "well what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

"I'll wait here," Gaara said, eyeing the store warily. Gaara, like Naruto, had been kicked out of a few stores or generally not allowed to buy items at the stores. However outside of glares and the "nothing left in stock" stories, he wasn't physically moved from the store ever since many began fearing him.

Naruto could take a good guess as to why Gaara was wanting to stay out of the store, but he would have none of it.

"You're coming with, this is going to be your ball so you're going to help choose," Naruto said, dragging Gaara into the store.

Gaara's pale eyes widened in surprise, "my ball?"

"Yeah, you don't have one so we're getting you a ball," Naruto said walking down the little isles. He looked up and down at the big and small ones; they came in rubber, leather, or were a solid mass of plastic. The colors varied and Naruto instantly saw a dark red leather bound ball. He picked it up and presented it to Gaara, "do you like this one?"

Gaara nodded mutely, he had received very few presents in his life and didn't dare turn one down. A teddy bear and a few books were about the extent of his gifts. No one outside his mother and uncle ever got him anything, so he wasn't picky when it came to good will. Not to say he disliked the red leather ball, in fact it was his favorite out of all the other balls.

Naruto grinned and skipped to the counter with money and the ball in hand.

The man behind the counter flipped through the pages of a magazine he was reading, unaware of who was in his shop.

Naruto peeked over the counter, "hey, Mister!"

The man sighed and set the magazine down to address the kid but froze and paled when he saw the village jinchuriki in the background.

"Oi! Mister! We wanna buy this ball," Naruto yelled and shoved the ball along with a large wad of cash onto the counter.

"It's only 500 ryo, kid," the man murmured, eyes flickering from the kid and the stuff he was purchasing to the red haired boy who was watching the exchange.

Naruto grabbed the wad and counted the paper before shoving the money back onto the counter, "can I take the ball now, please?"

"Yeah..." the man said, starring at the red haired child shying behind the blonde, "just be careful."

"We will!" Naruto yelled and grabbed the ball along with Gaara's hand, and rushed out of the door in a flurry of yellow and red.

The man sat behind his counter, frozen for thirty minutes after their departure. The jinchuriki hadn't lashed out at the kid when he grabbed his hand, and he didn't look like he was going to harm him any time soon. The man contemplated this for the next hour, mindlessly selling toys to bratty children and parents getting birthday gifts.

The short, seemingly insignificant, trip to the toy store would dramatically change the life of the Ichibi's jinchuriki. The toy seller would think over his encounter with the boys and would come to the conclusion that the jinchuriki was not if fact violent. No, he would figure out that the boy only killed when he felt threatened. The toy seller would then have an epiphany, and realize that the village's poor treatment of the boy could very well lead to all their deaths. He would then go to his family and friends to warn them to be caring to the boy, who would then go to their family and friends who would go to their family and friends and until the entire village heard. However that is years into the future, and he would have to get over his initial panic in having said realizations.

* * *

Naruto and Gaara were in the emptied field for a good twenty minutes, Naruto was persistent in his teaching Gaara new games. They played with Gaara's red ball until Hajime came back from wandering the village.

"Haji-nii!" Naruto yelled and ran up to his older self, "I made a friend!"

Gaara slowly came up to the older boy, careful not to make any sudden movements. Adults always seemed to startle if he moved to quickly. With a short bow he said, "hello."

Hajime smiled gently, "Hello, what's your name?"

"Gaara," the little boy replied, shying behind Naruto when Hajime's smile became kinder. He was used to the glares and looks of fear in strangers' and his family's eyes. He never had seen such a caring look directed at him, not even his uncle gave him these looks. Gaara clutched the ball closer to his chest.

Hajime chuckled, "nice to meet you Gaara-kun. I don't suppose you would like to join Naruto and I for lunch."

"Ramen!" Naruto yelled excitedly, pulling on Gaara's forearm a couple of times, "Gaara, Gaara, Gaara, let's go eat ramen. It's super yummy!"

Gaara glanced away before nodding as he looked back up at Naruto.

"Yatta! Let's go!" Naruto exclaimed and pumped his fists before running off.

Gaara looked at his friend's retreating figure. Shifting nervously, he glanced up at Hajime who was pinching the bridge of his nose and sighing.

Hajime opened his eyes and smiled down at Gaara, "looks like we'll have to catch up or else he's going to get lost. Come on Gaara-kun."

* * *

Shisui rubbed his forehead, trying to comprehend what he was just force fed. It was one thing to hear that someone time traveled. It was another thing entirely to comprehend what happened in other Timelines. The Narutos had given him a very simple overview of every timeline, that was so poor explained Shisui had the hardest time understanding what happened in what. Narutos tended to go off on tangents... The clones had also changed the name of people, like a secret code for agents. The slang was easy to pick up on once he understood who it was, but he could only guess as to who some of the people were. He wasn't even sure what the enemy wanted or what Naruto's goal was.

Shiro noticed Shisui's confusion and asked, "do you want a basic overview without interjections?"

Shisui nodded gratefully.

"We're only saying this once, so pay attention," Shiro said, waiting for Shisui to nod before continuing, "The Bunny Queen, who rules the moon, got superpowers from the Overpowered Tree to stop a war. Then the Bunny Queen got jealous over her babies who also had superpowers. Then she went insane, and in her senile rage she made Ugly Monster to destroy the world but was consumed by her son Feathered Robe. She got really angry when her kids sent her to a _nursing home _but before she was locked away, she created another baby, Veggie Harlequin, with the help of Overpowered Tree. The son that ate Ugly Monster decided that the Ugly Monster was too ugly for the world to deal with and split it up into his Nine Cuddle Monsters. Mean people bullied the Nine Cuddle Monsters for years and used them for their superpowers, making them angry and less cuddly. Meanwhile Veggie Harlequin decided to mess with the Bunny Queen's grandson, the superior older brother Thunderbolt, but thankfully left the dropout younger brother Flunky alone. However because Thunderbolt and Flunky's crazy uncle Veggie Harlequin messed with Thunderbolt, a super old feud started and Thunderbolt's clan learned the ways of the emo. Flunky was angry with Thunderbolt for going to the emo side and decided to put an end to it. But it didn't really happen."

Shisui nodded, though he had no clue as to who "Bunny Queen", "Overpowered Tree", "Veggie Harlequin", "Thunderbolt", or "Flunky" could be. He could take a guess that the Nine Cuddle Monsters were the nine biju, but he wasn't sure if the "Ugly Monster" was a parent of the biju or if it's entity was split into nine. He was leaning towards the later. He also didn't want to know what the power of the emo was.

Naruto's Representative decided to take over and said, "After a super long time one of Thunderbolt's descendants, Drama Queen, who was once friends with Tree Hugger and helped build a village and led a peaceful coexistence, got brain washed by Veggie Harlequin to turn on his friends and family and went insane like his something greats grandmother the Bunny Queen. Drama Queen decided it was a good idea to release the oldest of the Nine Cuddle Monsters, Cotton Tails, onto Tree Hugger. Tree Hugger put Cotton Tails into a cage and fought Drama Queen to the death!"

Shisui nodded; he was fairly certain that "Drama Queen" was Madara Uchiha and Hashirama was "Tree Hugger". He didn't want to know what made Madara become "Drama Queen" in his young (old?) friend's mind. Shisui hoped that if he had a nickname, it wasn't as demeaning as Drama Queen's. Out of the context that Drama Queen- Madara and Hashirama fought, Shisui could guess that Cotton Tails was the Kyuubi. Cotton Tails...for a biju...that was demeaning, that was wrong.

Koji cleared his throat and decided to start talking, "Offically Drama Queen died, but we all know that no one stays dead in this world. With the help of Veggie Harlequin Drama Queen found another Dead But Not Dead person conveniently also one of Thunderbolt's descendants, Two Face. Two Face was brain washed by Drama Queen who was brain washed by Veggie Harlequin who was being controlled by his mother the Bunny Queen. Two Face, being insane, became Drama Queen's henchman Lollipop Face. Lollipop Face then pretended to be his master, Drama Queen, and ran an evil organization with a lot of mentally unstable people. Their goal is world peace."

Shisui paused mid nod, "wait what?"

The Narutos looked at each other, the Representative Clone looked at Shisui, "didn't we mention why they were collecting the Nine Cuddle Monsters?"

Shisui shook his head.

The clones coughed, Mitsuo grumbled about the incompetent other Narutos before addressing Shisui, "well that's what the Emo Gang think they're doing. Collect biju- excuse me- _Cuddle Monsters_ for Frankenstein's Monster and his assistant the Paper Fairy, there will magically be world peace if Frankenstein's Monster becomes has the power of the Nine Cuddle Monsters. Absolute baloney. Lollipop Face is the real leader and thinks that Drama Queen will use the Nine Cuddle Monsters to Moon Beam the snot out of us. Somehow making this world pain free and crap like that. But Veggie Harlequin, seriously...who came up with these hideous code names... Forget it, I'm using their real names, their S-Rank ninja. They at least deserve the decency of not having their names butchered. Zetsu, who these buffoons call Veggie Harlequin, is trying to revive his mother Kaguya-"

"He doesn't need to know!" Shiro yelled just as the Naruto Clone tackled Mitsuo and Taku covered Shisui's ears with a bored face.

Shisui looked at Taku, who was fighting back a cough, with a questioning look.

Taku shrugged and mouthed so Shisui could understand, "it was part of what you would be left out of. Name changes were more for your protection."

Shisui hummed in understanding and watched as the clones brawled in front of him. Shisui couldn't help but wonder how he couldn't hear their loud screaming but guessed it had something to do with a silencing seal, he had read that some ninja were trying to recreate an old Uzumaki seal that the clan used to tattoo onto their hands. Preventing sound form traveling through their hands. Usually done to make anyone screaming in their hands soundless...or in this case the sound of angry Narutos muted.

Zetsu, what an odd name. From what he could remember being told of Veggie Harlequin, now dubbed Zetsu, was that he was part plant and really old. A sort of son of the Bunny Queen, now dubbed Kaguya. He remembered an old clan being called by that name and wondered if they had any connection to this Kaguya they were talking about. For some reason, just knowing a name the real name of a very large threat made it feel more real. Bunny Queen didn't sound threatening, and while he did register her as a threat, his subconscious dulled the weight of the threat by just the name Naruto had given him. Did Naruto do play off his subconscious on purpose, making light of the situation so he wouldn't pry? "For his own protection", Taku had said. How did knowing a dead woman's name put him in danger?

Taku released his ears and sat back to continue watching the other Narutos calm themselves. Mitsuo, Shisui noticed, was duct taped and glaring holes into Shiro.

Shiro smiled, "it would be best if you didn't know the Bunny Queen's name. Most do not know her name outside of very old myths, and if you referred to her as anything outside of her code name you would get the attention of a very dangerous person."

Shisui nodded in understanding but asked, "but aren't we safe to say her name here?"

"Ah," Shiro scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, "while it's impossible to infiltrate a crowd of Narutos, the walls aren't completely sealed yet. There are still holes in our defense that we haven't found yet, few but they are there. There is a chance, as low as it is, that Veggie Harlequin or Lollipop Face could listen in on what we're saying. Jiji could also be scrying, and I wouldn't want to put him in danger."

"Ah," Shisui acknowledged, "but I think I know the rest of this story now. So we don't have to continue."

The Narutos blinked before the older ones started smirking, Koji grinned, "Oho, that's right, you have a dango shop to go to, ne."

Shiro smirked, "you should've said something earlier, we could have stopped and continued later."

"Shoo, lover boy, go to your Snake Mistress," Mitsuo said, wriggling out of his bindings.

All the clones in the vast room were all looking at him with that knowing look grandparents gave to their grandchildren. Before Shisui knew what was happening he was out the door and moving along the path to Konoha.

"Just remember," young Noriyuki yelled from the door, "what happens in the club stays in the club."

"Yes sir," Shisui smiled, saluting the little boy.

Noriyuki went to shut the door but paused, quickly adding, "and no kissing on the first date. Girls won't respect you if you do!"

Before Shisui could stutter out a reply the door was shut and locked.

Shisui shook his head and leaped into the branches before teleporting his way to Konoha.

* * *

"RAMEN! I can smell it! They serve ramen here," Naruto yelled excitedly as he burst through the door of the restaurant, startling the peaceful customers and staff. The ninja in the building tensed, expecting an attack. The younger civilians choked on their food or did an anime styled spit take. The staff tripped and dropped their things. All turned to stare at the face of a joyous young boy as he practically vibrated with excitement, quietly chanting, "ramen, ramen, ramen..."

A simultaneous sweat drop of "what the heck is wrong with that boy?" issued about the room as they took in the blonde's rabid meerkat like visage.

A few customers decided that the peace of the restaurant was at an end, and that the moment to leave while the running was good was perhaps the best course of action. The customers that were just entering noticed the other occupants staring at the young boy and decided that they could go to a different restaurant.

A panting older blonde with a little red haired boy riding on his back walked into the restaurant.

The blonde took in a few gasped breathes and looked about the room before smiling weakly, pointing a finger to the younger blonde he said, "see...Gaara? Told you Naruto would be here..."

The older blonde collapsed dramatically and lay still as the red haired boy climbed off of him.

The rest of the customers noticed it was the jinchuriki and decided that now would be a good time to leave. Paying their bill in record speed the people quickly left the unfortunate staff to deal with the trio. The manager cried at the loss of customers, as he knew that he wouldn't be getting any more as long as the trio stayed in the building.

Gaara looked over to Naruto, who was already seated and waiting for someone to ask what he wanted, and then looked down at the still Hajime.

"Ramen, ramen, ramen, ramen," Naruto chanted under his breath.

Gaara gently poked Hajime's cheek, "are you alive?"

"I'm alive," Hajime said, but it came out more along the lines of, "Mureajh...fufuharrr...reeh"

Gaara was fairly proficient at mumble, since so many mumbled around him and people's screams tended to be muffled beneath all the sand.

Hajime looked up at Gaara. He sighed and hauled his body up, "Okay, so Gaara what do you want?"

Gaara watched Hajime teeter over to the rabid blonde in concern, "whatever is fine..."

"Ah," Hajime said, sitting down a seat away from Naruto.

Gaara followed his lead and sat between the two.

A brave waiter decided that making the three customers wait would ultimately lead to their demise quickly took their order. The extra waiter hung in the back, not wanting to be fired for not working but not wanting to put their lives on line like the brave one did. Everyone watched with a baited breath as Hajime said, "we'll have...a dozen bowls of pork ramen, six bowls of miso ramen, three bowls of chicken ramen, one bowl of beef ramen, one bowl of vegetable ramen, and one teriyaki ramen with extra shrimp. Since Gaara doesn't care what he has, he'll have a bowl of miso ramen and a side of salted tongue. Naruto, what did want?"

Naruto tapped his chin in thought, "I'll have...Four teriyaki ramen with extra naruto, six beef with extra egg, three pork ramen, four seafood ramen, seven chicken, and two miso with extra rice and naruto on the side."

The ever dutiful waiter shrunk under the long order of food, managing to get every order down and then looked over at them, "...is there anything you would like to drink?"

Hajime smiled, "jasmine green tea for me."

"Bubble tea," Naruto said after a moments pause.

Gaara looked up at the waiter with wide eyes, and squeaked out, "water is fine..."

The waiter nodded and said, "we'll have to give it to you slowly, since our pots aren't that big..."

"That's fine," Hajime said, smiling pleasantly.

The waiter nodded before scurrying off to the kitchen, the other waiters stared in awe as the first wave of ramen bowls and out of place plate of salted tongue made its way out of the kitchen. It would be impossible to eat that much, but much their bewilderment, their coworker went back into the kitchen to wait for _more_.

Gaara looked at his steaming bowl and plate to the rest of the table that was covered in at least two dozen ramen bowls. Was it normal to eat that much? He wouldn't know since he never ate with his siblings or family. His guards never were relaxed enough to eat around him, but he had his doubts a human was supposed to eat that much. Maybe he would corner Temari later and ask, she tended to know these things.

The two blondes bowed their heads, hands folded like angels and said in union, "Thank you, Creator, for making ramen. It is truly your best gift to mankind. Amen."

Then like the forces of evil were released their heads shot up and they broke their chopsticks with an exclaimed, "Itadakimasu!", before devouring what was in front of them.

Gaara stared wide eyed at the two leaning tower of ramen bowls, Naruto had just finished his twelfth serving with a loud slurp as Hajime wiped his mouth in an almost _dainty_ manner and set the chopsticks down with a sharp, "click".

Gaara looked at the waiter who was staring at the two blondes with terrified eyes. Gaara looked at the food he was given and decided that if he didn't start eating now, it would be eaten by the two ramen monsters.

To the waiter, Gaara had never seemed so human. He cleared the table and set out the next bowls of ramen. Perhaps it was this encounter that led the waiter to decide that the toy seller's theory was correct, that the jinchuriki was only a boy. A boy that wouldn't eat him if he treated him right.

When Gaara finally finished off his plate and bowl of food, Hajime was calmly sipping his tea and Naruto was licking the insides of his bowls.

Turning to Gaara, Hajime asked, "did you like the ramen?"

Gaara nodded, too scared to disagree. The brothers obviously loved the stuff, it wasn't to die for but it wasn't bad either.

Hajime nodded approvingly and paid the check, all in cash.

As the trio left the building, the staff could've sworn they heard the oldest say, "do you want to stop for some ice cream? I could go for a little dessert ."

The staff shuddered and tried to erase the image of the blondes eating from their brains. Sadly they would have nightmares or would block the moment in a similar fashion to what Fugaku did. They would tell their children to be leery of blondes that wanted ramen and their children would tell their children, and hence Fugaku's warning was spread to Sunagakure.

* * *

**Esparia: Next time we meet, this story will have been edited and Shisui will be making a move on Anko. Massacre stuff is going to hit the fan and boy is it going to be ugly. I wonderful plans for that...and you're all going to hate me. I need a beta, I can tell you that right now. I _need_ a beta to help go through all my poor grammar and spelling. So if interested, give me a PM and I'll get back to you in a week. I'm camping tomarrow so...adios!**


	22. Chapter 21

**Esparia: I'm back~ and let me tell you, it was horrible, it was ugly, and it took forever. Why did it take me so long even though it was summer you ask? Why, thanks for asking. It's called a busy summer schedule with tons of camping trips, overheated computers (why do I forget every year that I can't use a computer during the hot days of summer?), and I promised myself I would get the cover done. I got the cover done (took me **_**13 hours **_**of laboring on a computer that **_**crashes every hour and a half**_**). And I have things to say about it. 1.) Naruto's bedroom is a pain to draw. 2.) I'm proud of my ramen bowls. 3.) I'm never drawing Gamabunta again (if I can help it).**

**SortaCore beta read this for me, which is awesome, so there we go. Thank you SortaCore.**

**Disclaimer: ...*cough* Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto and every plot hole in it.**

**Sasuke: **_**.**_**..oh, you're back...**

**Esparia: Yup, you're needed in this chapter very briefly...shoo.**

**Sasuke: *grumbles as he goes to the set in chibi form***

**Esparia: To make up for the lateness...I added an Omake. Speaking of Omake, I compiled a collection of omakes and one-shots and posted them. Labeled "The Glorious Omakes"...I'd say the title fits the content perfectly. It's crack basically, look into it if you want, I'll probably add the omakes I've done in this fanfiction to it as well since...erm, yeah. Moving on...I present you (after like three and a half months of hiatus) Chapter Twenty One, Ramen Monsters and Dango Snakes!**

* * *

Chapter Twenty One

Ramen Monsters and Dango Snakes

December 15th, Twelfth year of the 4th Timeline,

I can feel my shadows watching me. My pasts haunting me. I've become paranoid and I fear that the world that I see around me is but a dream. A nightmare that I relive over and over again. I wonder if I am actually living this, or if I'm just in that genjutsu. If this is real… am I even fighting to my potential anymore? I don't think so. I think I'm fading. My fight just feels… empty. I'm worn.

I am tired.

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

Gaara walked into the house with a determination rivaling Madara's determination to moon-eye the world into oblivion. He was on his self-made mission: Find Temari and get answers.

He found her and Kankuro in the so-called 'family room'. They seemed to be debating an answer to their homework. When they noticed him they stiffened and turned to look at him. Kankuro was sweating bullets and shivering, while Temari had an uneasy smile spread across her face.

"Hi, Gaara. Is there something you need?" Temari asked.

Gaara clutched the red ball closer to his chest and nodded. He paused and bit his lip, "Um… do friends give each other presents?"

Temari blinked in surprise at her brother's question, she thought over her answer carefully before saying, "Sometimes, usually if it's a very good friend, or someone is asking for forgiveness."

"What do you do when you get a gift?" The young Jinchūriki asked. "And how do you tell them that you're thankful for their friendship?"

"You could give a gift in return, something they like… or simply tell them what you feel," Temari said, gaining confidence with her answers. She wondered who gave Gaara a gift? Was it even a sincere gift?

Gaara nodded, deep in contemplation. Kankuro was watching him, while trying not to appear to be watching him by 'doing' his homework.

"So this," Gaara held up the ball in his hands, "Is normal in friendship?"

Temari stared at it in suspicion, expecting it to tick or catch on fire or something. "Sometimes, yes."

Gaara's lips twitched before a full-blown smile crossed them. He held the ball closer to his chest. "Thank you, Temari-nee-san."

Temari smiled a little, even though her brother was more terrifying than the enemy ninja, she cared for him and still had that fierce protectiveness over his well being. "Anytime."

Gaara paused on his way out the door and looked back at his siblings. "You're normal, right?"

Kankuro and Temari looked at each other in confusion. Temari shrugged. "We're average I suppose…"

Gaara nodded. "Then… is it normal for people to eat twenty-four to twenty-six bowls of ramen under fifteen minutes and go out for ice cream right after?"

"That's… not really normal at all," Kankuro said, speaking up for the first time.

"Oh," Gaara mused, thinking about the two blonds inhaling their ramen like a pair of black holes. Completely serious, he asked, "Is there such a thing as a Ramen Monster?"

"A Ramen Monster?" his siblings asked in confusion.

"Ramen Monsters are blonde-haired, blue-eyed, friendly people who like eating huge amounts of ramen within seconds of getting it and proclaim it to be the best food in the world," Gaara explained. "I met two… it was terrifying."

His siblings' eyes widened.

Gaara nodded to them and left.

* * *

Shisui walked through the village in a daze. The streets were starting to pull its citizens out into its decorative and cheerful atmosphere. His mind wandered (what with him being he was kind of an unconventional Uchiha who could actually wander in his thoughts), he was a little shell-shocked in finding out the kid he was babysitting was actually a time-traveling ninja. Ninja children were such a pain to deal with. No wonder Obito-nii warned him to never babysit ninja children.

His future death disturbed him. It wasn't like he thought he wouldn't have died or wasn't going to at least die once in alternate timelines, but there was something particularly disturbing to know you had previously died… multiple times… the same way. It was over his clan's pride too, not just his eyes, but the fact that his clan couldn't be moved from their ways far enough to not start a rebellion. His clan would lead to not only his but also their own downfall.

Was there any way he could stop it? He supposed he could take initiative and use his Sharingan on the instigators, or maybe even kill the instigators… but Fugaku was one of them. Shisui didn't know if he wanted to kill Fugaku; he didn't know if he could. Itachi would hate him for killing his family, but if what the Naruto clones said was true, and Itachi killed his own parents… then wouldn't it be better for him to do it, instead of their own son?

He felt horrible for knowing he left Itachi to battle it out himself six times over. He didn't want his friend to suffer the same twisted fate he had in the previous times. But how could he change it?

Even if he used his Sharingan on the others he would still be seen as a traitor to the clan, a danger to the Hokage. Danzō wanted his eyes, and what better way to get a man then to turn everyone against his actions? If he was a missing ninja, then Danzō would be within all rights to kill him. Danzō wouldn't even need to show evidence that he killed Shunshin no Shisui, the man could claim that he had to use some body mutilation technique to bring the ex-ANBU down. Then Danzō would be in possession of both Shisui's eyes, with any Root ninja as witnesses to back up his claim.

Shisui, for all his brilliance as a shinobi, didn't think he would be able to outmaneuver Danzō and escape, without his eyes being in a constant danger. As long as Shisui's body was obtainable, Danzō would go to the ends of the earth to retrieve his Sharingan. His Sharingan was power, this was something Shisui knew, but he didn't count on the dark part of Konoha to play fair in obtaining them. Danzō attacked Shisui for his eyes and got one. Shisui knew that if his past self was worried enough to kill himself and give Itachi his other eye in fear of it coming to possession of that man, then he would trust his past judgment, that of knowing that Danzō could not be escaped.

Naruto was right: 'Shisui' would have to die if he wanted to escape. Even in death people looked for his body. Shisui would not give them it, if he had a choice… if he could, Shisui would disappear and become a phantom of a phantom. A true ninja that didn't even exist.

Shisui unlocked his front door and froze. Somebody had been in his home. Sharingan spinning, he warily moved around his house. Nothing was missing outside of the kunai he kept under his pillow, which didn't make sense. Did a Root-nin search his house and steal a kunai? Was Danzō already making a move to take his sharingan? Was the person still in his-

"Shisui?" A low voice asked from behind him.

Shisui launched shuriken, senbon, and kunai at the presence behind him without so much as a thought. They were quickly dodged and deflected by the other ninja with practiced ease. He stilled and grinned awkwardly as he saw that the person whom he attacked was none other than a bemused and slightly put out Itachi.

"Sorry, Itachi-kun," Shisui apologized, putting away the rest of his drawn weapons back in his leg pouch.

"Is something bothering you, Shisui?" Itachi asked slowly.

"Eh, no. Not really. I'm just a little jumpy, you know how intel gets to your head," Shisui said, laughing lightly. He could have sworn he felt a different presence behind him. A quiet pressure that he was being watched.

"Only if you let it," Itachi replied, for all appearances looking like a cold faced ANBU. To Shisui though, he could see the stress lining his friend's face. The tense posture that revealed he wasn't comfortable, he didn't feel safe. Shisui could tell that Itachi was feeling the pressure too, that they were being watched.

"I suppose you're right," Shisui said, motioning for his cousin to come in, "So what brings you here to my humble abode? Need to rant? Con me into taking care of Sasuke? Eat all my dango?"

Itachi's mouth twitched in the hint of an aborted smile. He watched Shisui for a little while, as if analyzing the worth of a bundle of sprouts for soup. Shisui didn't like the look the younger Uchiha was giving him. No, he didn't like that look at all. It was the look Itachi gave to particularly hard puzzles. Puzzles he wanted answers to and wasn't about to relinquish his quest for answers.

"Look, Itachi-kun. I know I'm handsome, but no matter how long you stare at it, this face will never be yours to call your own," Shisui smirked, striking a pose that would leave any self-respecting Uchiha burying their heads in shame at being related to such a creature by blood.

Itachi's lower eyelid twitched violently before he composed himself enough to say, "I came to talk to you about last night."

"Ee?" Shisui's face scrunched up in confusion before smoothing over when he realized that Naruto's 'copy clone' must have taken his place and had at some point or another talked to Itachi. He'd have to wing it, but he never was good at winging things like this. "What about it?"

"You said you thought someone might be after your life," Itachi said.

"Oh, yeah that?" Shisui laughed, wondering why Naruto said that. "I have to admit, I don't recall saying that. But admittedly, I was running on paranoia, sleep deprivation, and stress last night. Hope I didn't say anything too strange if I can't recall that."

Itachi's face relaxed slightly. "You didn't."

"Oh, that's a relief. Wouldn't want to make the family think I'm crazier than I am." Shisui laughed and scratched the back of his head.

Itachi smiled a bit. Shisui turned his head slightly, expression slowly blanking, before he added in a low tone, "Itachi, just… keep your ears open. There is something going on around us. Something bigger… and I don't know if...just promise to be careful."

Itachi didn't raise his eyebrow like any other young man would want to, but he nodded anyway at Shisui's words. If it was important Shisui would tell him. If Shisui didn't want to say anything it was either because he couldn't or it was more of a danger knowing.

"I'm headed to the festival as soon as I get my yukata out of the box and onto me," Shisui said with a grin, "Which you should be doing now to, ne? Sasuke-chibi isn't a patient brat."

Itachi smiled. "No, he is not. I shall see you at the festival then."

"You will, but don't interrupt me when I'm with a girl. Flirting is serious business you know, and your presence automatically makes my attacks weaken," Shisui grumbled the last part.

"Noted." Itachi dully replied before exchanging farewells and leaving his cousin's house.

Shisui sighed and walked towards his room, pausing mid-step to eye the empty ramen cup in his trash bin. Shisui knew who was in his house and with a grumble he cursed the company "Maru-chan" for making their ramen packets so small. He supposed it was a regular serving size, to most shinobi and civilians… but against the Ramen Beast of Konoha those little packets hardly stood a chance. His cupboards, he knew, would have a distinct lack of "Maru-chan" ramen.

* * *

"Nii-san!" Sasuke yelled excitedly as he rushed to his older brother, who was startled from his thoughts by said yelling.

Itachi smiled down at Sasuke, thoughts of his encounter with Shisui vanishing, "Otouto."

"Nii-san, why aren't you in your yukata? Okaa-san said we're going in _fifteen minutes_," Sasuke stressed.

"I'll go get ready then," Itachi said, tapping his brother's forehead with his forefinger and middle finger.

Sasuke rubbed his forehead with a frown before nodding.

Itachi left to his room, mind wandering back to his thoughts on Shisui. Shisui had acted strangely during dinner last night. He had checked for genjutsu, but found none. It was as if Shisui was swapped with a clone, it had Shisui's appearances and mannerisms but a few things it said didn't add up to what he knew Shisui knew. Shisui seemed normal enough when he left his house, perhaps a little jumpy. However that was nothing new in Shisui's case, he was an ANBU shinobi after all.

Itachi pulled his festive clothing on before leaving his room to join his family.

Fugaku and Itachi were quiet while Sasuke and Mikoto were talking, one being rather loud and the other commenting. The family enjoyed the festival for the past five years and would enjoy this one. It wasn't so much a festival that celebrated the defeat of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, it was more of a festival celebrating the lives of lost loved ones and the lives of the new generations. It was a festival centered around new lives.

It was also a day for those who needed to mourn. Some would trade stories at bars or tea houses, others would people watch, and others would gather at the memorial stone to bring flowers for remembrance.

An unfamiliar ANBU jumped down beside the family. Fugaku narrowed his eyes at the unknown, Mikoto startled with his sudden approach and reached for a long set-aside kunai pouch, while Sasuke didn't notice the ninja until his family stopped. Itachi's mind whirred into processing likely reasons why he would be summoned by _him_.

"Itachi-san, you have been summoned," the ninja's steady monotone carried over the quieted family.

"Understood," Itachi replied curtly and let the ninja disappear.

Sasuke looked worriedly between his parents' tight faces and back up to Itachi's taut expression. "You're...not coming?"

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Itachi said with a bitter smile, "maybe tomorrow...?"

Sasuke frowned at him. Itachi was always saying things like this; his brother rarely had the time to fulfill his words. It was hard to believe Itachi when he pushed his promises aside so often, though Sasuke thought he saw his brother trying to make time for him. He didn't like being ignored. He didn't like living in his brother's shadow. He didn't want to… lose his brother.

"Don't worry Sasuke, I promise," Itachi assured him.

"Hn," Sasuke grumbled with arms crossed.

Itachi just tapped his brother's forehead and did a quick shunshin back to his house. Itachi was not looking forward to the upcoming meeting.

* * *

Shisui hummed to himself as he walked down the street, eyes flitting from bright stall to the next eye-catching attraction. He was looking for the dango shop, which was where the young but old time-traveling Jinchūriki told him to go.

He froze when he saw a flash of purple hair headed down the street. Tracing the path of her head he found the dango shop Naruto had mentioned and flawlessly shunshinned inside. He ordered a plate of hanami dango; the pink, white, and green sweet dumplings bringing back memories of his short childhood. His mother had liked making dango and would often make them for the cherry-blossom-viewing festival.

The swish of curtains being moved alerted Shisui that she was in the room. He turned his head slightly to look but she was already sitting down across from him.

"Two plates of dango for me," Anko told the server. Turning to Shisui, her lips quirked up into a smirk before she said, "Well, well, well...if it isn't the idiot that fell asleep in the Forest of Death. What brings you here, oh moronically wise one?"

"Between the food and the lovely company, I'd have to wonder what would keep me from coming," Shisui replied and took a bite out of the pink sweet ball. _'That might've been too forward… I hope she doesn't skewer me. Kunoichi are scary when upset.'_

The server placed the two plates in front of Anko before leaving to wait on the next customer. Anko picked one up and took a large bite out of the first set of treats.

"Oh I don't know, Shisui-kun," Anko said while twisting her dango stick,. "Getting lost in a forest known for its man-eating beasts, losing the rest of your brain on the way back, or simply making a stupid decision that ends in death could keep you away. But then again, dango are a must at every festival."

_'It was a one-time thing, and I was dragged their by a time-traveling shrimp. Not my choice to go there after a grueling mission… thank you very much,'_ Shisui hummed in thought.

"Or perhaps," Anko continued, finishing her second plate of dango, "You're wondering about me? It couldn't have been that you've been looking for me?"

"Hard not to wonder about a kunoichi that refuses to tell me her name and calls me an idiot for being in the forest when she herself is there," Shisui countered, finishing off the white ball._ 'Dangerous. She sounds suspicious, when Naruto said she was paranoid...'_

Anko shrugged and leaned back, swiping his remaining stick of dango and began chewing on it thoughtfully. Tilting her head slightly, she finished the stick off.

Shisui was half done with the green ball when the stick Anko was holding shot towards him. On instinct Shisui let his body fall into a shunshin to move himself to the other end of the table, letting the pointed stick embed into the wall behind him. _'What did I say? Naruto said she did that to people if she felt insulted or undermined, at least to people she's unacquainted with. I hardly said anything to her! I'll just apologize, I don't want to die!_' Shisui eyed the stick with wide eyes before turning to Anko, "I'm sorry."

Anko blinked twice, took a bite out of her dango, then squinted and asked, "For what?"

_'I don't know! You just tried sticking me with a wooden senbon, you tell me what I did,'_ Shisui thought wildly. "For… insulting you?" he tried, shifting his weight nervously.

"Hah, that's a new one," Anko grinned, shaking her head she motioned to his seat. "Sit back down. I guess you aren't a complete idiot, you managed to dodge my attack after all."

Shisui's face blanked from confusion. He wasn't sure what happened and the ways of the women were beyond him… this woman in particular. He didn't know why she attacked him and he certainly didn't understand her words. If he had to take a guess, she was teasing him? Or angry with him. Either one would work.

Anko stood to leave, pausing to weigh something in her mind before smirking back at the Uchiha. "Care to see the sights with me, Shisui-kun?"

The shinobi's thoughts drastically switched. _'Score one for Shisui, play this right…'_ Shisui finished off his green dango and stood. "Of course, festivals are always more fun when you're with good company. Besides, I as an honorable shinobi, wouldn't in right conscience leave a strong and beautiful kunoichi to wander the festival alone."

"Psh, flirt," Anko smirked and led the way into the festive atmosphere.

Shisui followed behind with a wide smile. "And proud of it."

Itachi paused from hopping to the next roof to stare at the violet haired kunoichi and his cousin leave the dango shop. Hidden in the shadows of a building, Itachi snorted behind his mask before making his way to who had summoned him.

* * *

Omake

Sandcastle Dungeon

Shukaku grinned at his older brother who was standing in his sandcastle's dungeon. Indra wanted him to "sweep out the mess he tracked into his sleeping quarters" and "rid of the unsightly mess" that was his sand. Nobody insulted his sand and got away with it. No one.

"Shukaku, release me," Indra commanded the young tanuki.

"No," Shukaku said with a shake of his head.

Indra's red eye twitched. "Shukaku, let me out of this cage at once."

"Nope," Shukaku replied lazily.

Indra was getting impatient with his "younger brother", his father had wanted him to watch his (more or less) siblings while he went to a parent support group. He didn't know why his father thought it was necessary to go to those things.

"Shukaku," Indra's voice lowered dangerously, he had been in the sandy prison for over an hour now and he wanted to leave. Lips tight in a disapproving frown. "Let me out of this cage now, or I shall make sure father grounds you from nightclubbing."

Shukaku twitched. "Only if you go through the guillotine."

Indra thought about this for a moment before conceding. "Fine, deal."

Shukaku grinned and made a threatening motion with his hands, the ground of the Sandcastle's Dungeon shook as the insides of the giant cell changed.

Indra watched in horror as his torture device rose from the floor, his eyes wide in dread and whimpered word of. "No, anything but that."

"Yessss," Shukaku laughed. "I challenge you to beat me in a battle, without the use of our chakra. Mwahaha!"

"Shukaku! You monster! You know I can't!" Indra yelled in fury.

"I think you can, you're just too chicken to try," Shukaku mocked.

"Did you just call me," Indra started slowly, black hair falling over his eyes. "The firstborn son of Hagoromo, the genius child, Otsutsuki Indra," Indra's voice lowered even more, "…a _chicken_? That's it Shukaku. You're going down! I'll show you I am not a chicken!"

Shukaku stuck his tongue out. "Prove it, oh wise and ancient_ Nii-san_."

Indra's eyes lighted with fury. "I will, _Otouto_."

"Then I challenge you, Otsutsuki Indra, to a dance off!" Shikaku crowed triumphantly. "You beat me in DDR, you're free. If I beat you, you'll have to keep dancing until you get your freedom. Deal, Indra-_nii_?"

"Deal," Indra hissed.

Indra mounted his platform, glowing from refracted light. Shukaku followed the same stance on his own (much larger) platform. Both man and beast waited for the wall to show the dance moves, which was also glowing from Shukaku's expertise in glass and mirror making. Shukaku thought that colored glass was worth looking into… who didn't like to party with color?

"Ready? Chicken-nii?" Shukaku questioned.

"I was BORN ready, Tanuki-kun!" Indra declared, already into the competitive spirit.

Gyuki began to rap excitedly, "Oooh, bring out the thunder and flicker the lights, Thunderbolt is aiming for Dance Master rights!" The octopus made a flourish with his tails and the music started. Slowly the other tailed beasts, Matatabi, Isobu, Son Goku, Kokuo, and Chomei, gathered around Gyuki to watch the dance battle between Indra and Shukaku. Indra was failing to win while the sand tanuki continued to beat him, but Indra was not one to back down.

This was the scene Hagoromo found his first son and his youngest little beast in. He stood frozen as he watched the heated battle between two of his sons. Legs flying across the glowing pads, feet stomping to a rhythm displayed on the moving and glowing wall. A song with a heavy bass blasted from said wall. Hagoromo didn't know what to think of this.

Saiken and Kurama joined their brothers and sisters to watch the dance battle, silently observing the fray.

"Dance Fight! Dance Fight! Dance Fight!" The beasts chanted as the contestants stomped their feet in spastic motions.

"Dance Master Shukaku won this beat mania fun!" Gyuki roared, "Indra may have lost, but what about the next one?"

Hagoromo cleared his throat, making all his children (minus the missing Ashura) look at him. Indra froze in horror at being caught dancing.

"Would someone explain to me why Indra is in the sandcastle's dungeon dancing to secular music?" Hagoromo asked, mindlessly stroking his reddish-singed beard.

The response could only be described as something out of an academy teacher's nightmares. Imagine saying to a room full of six-year-olds that you have one piece of candy, and whoever tells you the funniest joke and makes you laugh first gets the candy. It was that bad.

What Hagoromo got out of it was that Indra was being a 'big bad meanie' and needed to be punished for saying something explicitly terrible to Shukaku. The wizened man sighed in defeat. "Shukaku-kun, release Indra-kun. Indra-kun, don't patronize your brother."

With his words in place and the sandcastle wall dissolving and releasing the older brother, Hagoromo left to read a good book. He was tired.

Indra stood outside the dungeon for a moment, blushing furiously, before turning his red spinning eyes on Shukaku. "This never happened. Understood?"

"Hai, Indra-sama!" Shukaku exclaimed and scurried away.

"What did I miss?" Ashura asked in confusion.

Indra glared at his younger brother. "Nothing!"

Ashura watched Indra stomp away with a grin slowly making its way onto his face. Turning to the remaining Bijū he asked, "Shukaku-kun forced him to dance, didn't he?"

The Bijū nodded in sync.

"Don't suppose any of you have the mind projecting thing down yet?"

"I'm almost done," Son Goku said a smile forming on his monkey-like face.

Ashura rubbed his hands together with a malicious cackle. "Then go, my dear brother, and complete your learning so that I too may see our nii-san's humiliation."

"Sir, yes sir!" Son Goku exclaimed and hurried off to finish learning.

The murmured echo of Ashura's voice bounced its way to Hagoromo. "Blackmail, mwaha-mwahaha… MWAHAHAHAaa!"

Hagoromo shuddered. Nope he was not going to interfere.


	23. Chapter 22

**Esparia: Hm, yup, this is an update.**

**Disclaimer: Esparia doesn't own Masashi Kishimoto's creations, hence Esparia doesn't own Naruto.**

**Esparia: Realized it didn't update...dunno why. SortaCore hasn't betaed this...I forgot to send it...multiple time... So I'll just leave it as is, I did look through it though. Oh, and SortaCore...you got me hooked on those songs...I _can't stop listening to his songs_. This is your fault. Note to readers: EpicMusicChannel has music...awesome music.**

Chapter Twenty Two

We Have a Problem

April 4th, Seventh year of the 5th Timeline,

Jiji still hasn't found me, I left a note...do you think he has forgotten about me? Does he think I'm dead? Maybe he just hasn't found it yet. It has only been a year. That's probably it. He just hasn't found it yet.

Naruto

* * *

The clone representing Naruto for "social obligations" over his birthday was bored. The worker clones had long since dispelled and transferred their memories to him, along with the extra chakra from their dispelling. The five time-clones were doing their own thing in the base/club house/man cave. Hajime and Naruto were off gallivanting in Suna with Gaara, and probably having a grand old time with their fellow jinchuriki. Shisui was having fun with his new lady friend. Even the Uchiha clan were having fun at the festivities, he saw those stuffy Uchiha elders walking around outside _laughing_. Yet here he was, in his rundown apartment, sitting with a drunk sobbing mess of a robber who was sharing his life story for the fourteenth time that night.

"-a-and mom would make homemade candles-"

Couldn't something interesting happen on his birthday?

* * *

"Danzo-sama," Itachi's monotone emphasized with a bow, "you summoned me."

Itachi was positioned in front of the man's desk. Filing cabinets stacked behind the seemingly feeble elder.

"Yes," Danzo drawled, deftly closing the file he was viewing, "that I did."

Itachi waited a minute for him to continue, when he finally said, "You are in a difficult position to be in, Itachi-kun. Forced into choosing between your family and your leader, the fact that you haven't let your emotions sway you away from your duty as a Konoha shinobi tells me that you are one of few true shinobi that this village currently possesses."

Itachi remained silent, waiting for the old man's barbed praise to end and for the real reason he was called upon. He was worried, Danzo had already given him a deadline for the Uchiha clan. If they didn't show signs of change by the end of next year's first month, plans for killing off the clan would be arranged. Their deaths set in stone with the exception of his younger brother, but only if he agreed to kill his clan. Danzo in return agreed to leave Sasuke alone along with influencing for the boy to be protected from other outside forces. Though Itachi had to use a bit of good old fashioned blackmail to get what was now accomplished. Let it not be said that Uchiha couldn't bluff.

"Itachi-kun, when was the last time you saw Shisui-san?" Danzo asked.

"Today, while I was on my way here," Itachi reported, remembering seeing Shisui with that girl. His thoughts turned back on his encounter with his older cousin. Shisui had seemed unsettled when he went to talk to him earlier. He had seemed weird the night before, but didn't actually say anything out of character. Shisui would blank out every now and then in conversation before going about his talking. He seemed uncomfortable by Itachi's gaze, which was odd unless he pulled an Obito styled prank. Fortunately he didn't find any spiders in his pockets, unfortunately Shisui was still acting strangely. When he went to Shisui's house, he was welcomed with an overkill attack. Itachi wasn't even hiding his chakra at the time. His friend should have sensed his presence. When he asked Shisui about "something he said last night", which didn't exist in the slightest since Shisui didn't actually say anything serious the night previous, Shisui had acted confused but went along with it. He didn't jump the gun and agree with whatever Itachi was saying, which was promising that he wasn't a really skilled infiltrator. However he still seemed unsettled and didn't disagree with what Itachi was saying, and upon his leaving gave him a warning.

"Has he been acting abnormally?" Danzo asked.

That question brought questions to the forefront of the Uchiha's mind. Why was Danzo prodding for information about his cousin? Why was he called in early? What did Shisui mean by keeping his ears open? Was Shisui warning him away from Danzo? Was Danzo threatening Shisui in some way?

"Nothing out of the ordinary for him, Danzo-sama. He seemed perfectly healthy if not a little more flirtatious then usual," Itachi replied, was his cousin dating someone outside of the clan? Perhaps Danzo was threatening the girl if _he _didn't kill the clan. Maybe Shisui was the back up plan to his plan for Itachi killing the clan off. It wouldn't have surprised him if that were the case, Danzo never did something without planning for everything to go wrong.

"Healthy, you say," was Danzo's reply, "nothing to suggest an injury."

"Nothing, Danzo-sama," Itachi responded, wary of what the old man was getting at. Without a hint of worry in his voice, he asked, "is there something I need to look into, Danzo-sama?"

"No, my men will take care of the problem. You may leave, Itachi-kun, I wouldn't want to keep you from the festivities," Danzo dismissed.

Itachi bowed and took his leave, wondering about his older cousin's behavior and Danzo's sudden interest in him.

* * *

Shisui was having the time of his life. He was having fun at a festival, he was with a cute girl (who had a scary sense of humor), the people were happy and safe, and nothing could ruin his night. Except for, perhaps, a forgotten problem the unpredictable time traveler created that could lead to his potential death...but what's the probability of that happening?

"Shisui," a young boy called from the crowd.

Shisui's eyes snapped to the crowd around him, looking for a familiar face. He couldn't find anyone that looked familiar that was young enough to sound like a child.

"Minion-kun!" the little boy's voice yelled again.

Shisui turned to see a short brown haired child run up to him, "Eh? What are you doing here?"

"We have a problem," who he now identified as a Naruto under a henge, Noriyuki to be precise. The boy looked about Sasuke's current age with brown hair and hazel eyes, he had a faint scar running over his forehead. The child wore a ragged yukata that appeared to have been a hand me down for a few children. _Alias Analysis: Poor civilian child with older siblings (clones), for undetermined reason knows an ANBU, for undetermined reasons knows an Uchiha, is informal with said Uchiha likely due to being long term acquaintances or family friend._

"Hm, who is this?" Anko asked, sliding up to the talking duo.

Noriyuki blinked up at her then bowed slightly, "I'm Noriyuki, Kunoichi-san."

"Oh," Anko grinned and ruffled the boy's hair with a hand, "a young gentleman."

Noriyuki blushed and rubbed the back of his head, "u-um..."

"Noriyuki-kun, are you by yourself, where are brothers?" Shisui asked, looking around, _'What's wrong?'_

"Oh, they're somewhere...around here...um, we sorta lost the subordinate," Noriyuki said, trying to explain the problem without Anko understanding.

Anko watched as Shisui's face scrunched a little in confusion, "subordinate?"

"Yeah, yeah! Looks like an Uchiha, acts like me, ate your ramen while you were at my house?" Noriyuki offered, unsure how to continue explaining.

Shisui realized Noriyuki was talking about the "copy clone" they made of Shisui. Shisui rubbed his head in confusion, how did one lose a clone of themselves? "How did you manage to lose him?"

Noriyuki shrugged, "Well he was supposed to come back after you left, but he never returned home."

_'The copy clone didn't dispel,'_ Shisui thought, "can't you force him to come home, call him home?"

"Er, that's the problem," Noriyuki rubbed the back of his head again, "We can't ninja summon him, civilians ya know? And we don't know _where _he is."

_'We don't know what he's doing and can't force him back,' _Shisui thought and frowned, "...well, he knows to come back home eventually, right?"

"That's another problem, he _forgets_ where home is, that he has a home," Noriyuki explained, "that's why we don't let him out often."

_'The clones forget they're clones, it doesn't know that it's Naruto. The clone thinks it's me, it's a technique Naruto doesn't like using...likely a self forbidden technique,' _Shisui thought for a moment, "is there anything I can do to help?"

"Disappear if you see him, you can imagine how it would go if you both met again," Noriyuki said, with a deliberate scratch to the scar on his forehead, "and alert us if you see him. My brothers and I will be around..."

"Are they all here or are they searching different places?" Shisui asked, looking around the crowd again.

"Um, Mitsuo-nii and I are taking the festival area. Don't know if he's hiding 'round here or not. Shiro-nii is checking around the training grounds. Taku-nii is looking around those creepy places," Noriyuki said, waving his arms a little in emphasis.

Shisui felt a headache coming on, "Taku-san is where?"

"Creepy places, you know," Noriyuki blew a straying hair out of his face, "like the place he used to go to when he was my age?"_ 'Places like Root.'_

"Oh, and what about Koji-san?" Shisui asked.

"Tou-san is asking the adults if they've seen him. Like that white eyed guy, Hokage-sama, and other people," Noriyuki said, pointing toward the official buildings and clan compounds.

"Okay, I'll keep an eye out for him," Shisui said, "see you later, Noriyuki-kun."

"Yup, bye-bye Shisui-san!" Noriyuki yelled with a wave and dashed away into the crowd.

"Well, that was interesting," Anko said, "who is this subordinate?"

"I'm not sure I can fully explain it, think along the lines of something like an intelligent pet cat that believes it's a dog and doesn't know it has an owner," Shisui said.

"It doesn't actually think it's a dog, does it?" Anko asked.

"I hope not," Shisui said and shook his head, he was going to enjoy that night and try to forget about the rouge clone that had his face, "so, should we continue to the kabuki play. I heard it's going to be a shiranamimono, the robber princess is supposedly from the Hyuuga clan."

"A Hyuuga?" Anko repeated in shock, "how did that happen?"

Shisui shrugged, "who knows, but I can imagine the clan head wasn't too thrilled."

"I'd bet," Anko said, "do you know who it is?"

"Not a clue," Shisui replied and glanced at her, "do you want to sneak behind stage and find out?"

Anko grinned, "lead the way."

Shisui grabbed her upper arm and shunshined across the rooftops and landed behind the boxes of costumes.

Anko and Shisui watched in rapt attention as the danjuro ran about. Eyes roving the cast for the Hyuuga. They finally spotted her talking to a boy with spiky black hair. She looked about the boy's age, perhaps around the age of ten or eleven. The girl's pale eyes squinted while she laughed lightly, said something to the boy, and knocked her forefinger and middle finger into his forehead. The boy grumbled something while rubbing his forehead. The Hyuuga twisted her costume's sleeve and asked the boy something. The boy nodded then tilted his head slightly in the direction of the hiding ninja. He said something then disappeared from view.

Shisui's eyes followed the boy out of sight, the blue uniform looked familiar, but he couldn't place where. He turned his attention back to the girl.

"She doesn't have a mark on her forehead," Anko observed.

"A main branch child?" Shisui asked.

Anko shook her head, "she doesn't look stuck up enough for that."

"An illegitimate then, I didn't think a Hyuuga would do something like this though, they're so high-strung and formal. I think they may be worse than my own clan," Shisui said.

Anko shook her head, "Even that I'm not sure is correct, they're careful with their dojutsu. If there is even a chance an illegitimate child has the byakugan they're all over it and sealing away it's eyes before you can say "oops"."

"A future fiance to a main branch?" Shisui thought, "though that doesn't make sense, Hiashi-sama only has daughters."

Anko shrugged, "a real mystery."

"Looks like the play is about to begin, do you want to go to the front?" Shisui asked.

"Sure, let's see how good of an actress this little Hyuuga is," Anko said with a grin.

The pair shunshined to the crowd, curious to watch how the Hyuuga would perform. Being Hyuuga never did anything outside of look like they were terribly constipated and had a self-righteous air that dominated the room they stood in. The duo were interested to see how it would pan out. Could a Hyuuga even act?

* * *

Mitsuo was stomping angrily down the street, passing the festivities and civilians with a harsh scowl etched across his features. Shisui, or more specifically a genetic copy of Shisui, was nowhere to be found. What was really frustrating though was that he knew it would happen. Those copy clones were dangerous and stupid to use, always defying orders and causing trouble every turn they went. Did he say anything? No, of course not. Why would he when he knew no one would listen to anything he said? No one_ ever_ listened.

"Mitsuo-nii, slow down!" Noriyuki called out to him, trotting behind his older self and trying to not bump into anyone.

"Tch! We're never finding that stupid clone," Mitsuo growled, noticeably slowing his steps so his younger self could catch up, "that thing is likely already wrecking havoc to our plans."

Noriyuki quietly kept pace with Mitsuo's longer strides, thinking about the clone. Truth be told, Noriyuki never had any experience with the copy clones. Not in his lifetime at the very least. He knew that the clones had caused trouble for him in the past, going off to do who knew what and forgetting that they were clones. Botching plans and infiltration missions. But this clone was Shisui, surely it wouldn't be that bad. Now if the copy clone was Orochimaru or Kaguya, that could really put a kink in their plans. One Orochimaru roaming the earth was good enough for him, and he didn't even want to know what would happen if Zetsu found his 'mother' walking around. The question stood whether or not Shisui-clone would talk to anyone dangerous...like Danzo.

Tilting his head to look up at his older self, Noriyuki asked, "Do you think it'll follow his previous path?"

Mitsuo glanced down at the six year old and shrugged before continuing to scan the crowd, "Who knows. These clones are unpredictable...a safety hazard at best. We should have stuck to the verdict of never using those things again. Especially after _that_ incident."

Noriyuki grimaced, "Yeah, we shouldn't use them again. But, at the moment we need to think about this clone that _is _existing. If it doesn't know it's a clone, it will act like Shisui. If it knows it's a clone, it will act like us, ne?"

"Yes," Mitsuo replied, eyebrow raised, "your point being what?"

"That clone is either us or him. Where would Shisui go and why? Where would we go and why? It's gone missing, not a trace of it. Why would we or Shisui disappear?" Noriyuki asked, "What got our attention enough for the clone to ignore orders in dispelling in the safety time net, when it also knows how important it is to disperse?"

Mitsuo frowned in thought, "So what you're saying is that while it was still Naruto, something happened to make it forgo plans of dispelling. Something caught _our _attention and was important enough to go against orders."

"Yes," Noriyuki confirmed, "The only thing I can think of, since it was in the body of Shisui, is connected to the Emo Clan and the Child Snatcher. Both leaving it to either learn more or confront an obstacle...leaving in a puff of smoke would signal the adversary that it was a clone which for one reason or another be an undesirable conclusion."

"Leaving it to go into hiding in fear that it would be caught, thus forcing it to stay in place longer and possibly forgetting that it is a clone and not an actual person," Mitsuo concluded, hissing at the end. A hiding clone that was a ticking time bomb.

"We just don't know where," Noriyuki nodded, steps quickening to keep himself at Mitsuo's side.

This was why Mitsuo tolerated Noriyuki. The brat version of himself didn't look down on him for his failures. Noriyuki didn't ignore his thoughts or opinions and actively took them into consideration. Naruto had always been the hardest on himself. Sure he proclaimed that he would be the Hokage as a brat and had his whole "never give up" crap spewing from his mouth, but he didn't have much love for himself. He cared about his precious people and he cared for the precious people of his precious people. However he found it hard to care for himself. The others always came first. Their lives held more meaning to them then his own. It was a self destructive mindset, but it worked for him.

Noriyuki huffed a little when Mitsuo sped up even more, "we don't know where he is, but depending on if he's Shisui or not is a big thing. We know where we hide, but not where Shisui hides."

Mitsuo hummed in thought, hand running along the strange burn like scars on his forearm. He only really understood his timeline's self and had a vague recollection of Hajime's and Koji's, usually only the things that he connected to his own timeline. Basic information, like _'Orochimaru killed Hiruzen and let's not to let that happen again'_ or the trivial facts like _'Hinata's shy demeanor is because she has a crush on you or is scared of you'_. Anything past his timeline was unknown to him. Like Taku's time in Root, he had no recollection of such events. The clone walking around in Shisui's skin had a different mindset then he did, different then everyone else beside Naruto himself. It had the current Naruto's mind because it knew all their timelines. He didn't know how this Naruto thought, he could only really know his own. This was why it was so hard for him and the others to pinpoint where Naruto would be. They didn't have their compiled memories.

"We should tell the others," Mitsuo eventually said, "the likeliest place for him to be is around the Emo's Compound."

Noriyuki nodded but frowned, "How are we going to contact Taku? He's...in _that place_. Who knows how long he'll stay down there."

Mitsuo huffed, "We'll get him last."

Noriyuki nodded and the two sped off to talk to Koji.

* * *

"-And, and, and she was so pr-pretty-y-y-y... Why'd Nadda have ta die!?" the drunken robber, Ozuru, wailed.

Naruto the clone patted the big man's shaking shoulders, "there, there. You have to be strong for your son, right? Nadda-san would have wanted you to be strong."

Ozuru sniffed and rubbed his bleary eyes before looking at Naruto, "I'm sorry, but who are you?"

Naruto the clone resisted urge to bang his head on the kitchen table. Patting the man's shoulder he replied, "No one of great importance."

"Oh," Ozuru mumbled, before crying again.

Naruto the clone let a weary sigh escape as the man began telling him once more about how his wife and son lived in the district that was completely obliterated by the Kyuubi no Kitsune six years back and how he missed her. Naruto didn't know if the man did this when under the influence or if he suffered from short term memory lose, but every forty some minutes the man would forget everything that happened and start over.

He would have sent the man home, but he didn't think the man's nine year old son would appreciate a hysterical father. Naruto the clone planned on giving the man a tongue lashing for leaving a civilian child alone, when the man was coherent that is. He sent word to the kid's neighbor to look after the kid. Last thing he wanted was for some child to do something stupid while his father crashed in his house. It was going to be a long night.

"I even miss her cold toes and morning breath!"

Yes, it was going to be a long night.

* * *

Omake

Drunk Robbers

"Ugh, where am I?" Ozuru wondered, blinking bleary eyes around the small room he was in.

"My apartment," a voice to his right droned.

Ozuru snapped his head to the young boy standing next to him, taking a few moments to figure out that the young blonde was the village jinchuriki. Scrambling up from his sleeping position, the room spun as his head pounded painfully.

Naruto pushed him back down, "don't move, you were completely wasted last night and crashed here. I don't need you passing out from a head rush."

"Urgh...my son is alone in the house..."

"I called your neighbor, she took care of him last night," Naruto replied, "She brought him to the memorial ceremony and left flowers at Nadda-san's grave."

"How do you know her name?" Ozuru pointed his finger at the young time traveler in accusation.

"...Ozuru-san, after you broke into my apartment, threatened to kill me, stole my crackers, spilt my milk, and graffitied my bathroom walls with _cinnamon_ toothpaste..._cinnamon,_ you told me your life story..." Naruto picked up a sticky note, "a total of one hundred and eighty two times. Usually including how you married your childhood sweetheart Nadda, had a child together, and how you lost her in the Kyuubi attack. I don't expect you to remember any of our past conversations so I'll tell you now."

Ozuru covered his face in embarrassment as Naruto went about telling him how it was wrong to break into other people's' houses and graffiti their walls with toothpaste. How it wasn't very nice to threaten to kill people. How he was a bad father for going out drinking and leaving his nine year old son alone. How he needed to move on if he wanted to live and that it was likely what Nadda would have wanted. How he needed to get a steady job. How he should stop reading those disgusting novels. How he should reconnect with his siblings in Ame, because family is _important_. How he believed in his dream of becoming a chef and that if he put his mind to it he could do it.

It was around this time that Emiko walked in to get Naruto up and about.

Emiko stared at the man on the floor bowing to the child she was taking care of.

"Hello, who might you be?" Emiko asked.

Naruto turned around and beamed at her, voice growing louder as he expressively said, "Emiko-nee! Did ya have an awesome time? This is Ozuru-san! He has a kid older than me, and he doesn't like vegetables, like me! Ozuru-san got kinda confused last night and lost his way. See he forgot where he wanted to go, 'cause you know the roads get confusing when you're turned around. Anyway, he fell asleep here and now he's awake he's sorry that he fell asleep at my place. Like he apologized and everything! So I said it's okay, and that I forgive him. But he won't stop saying sorry. Though now that Emiko-nee is here, maybe he'll leave and go home. He said he doesn't want to...impose? Impose. Yup, yup, yup. So I had company last night, and wasn't bored at all!"

Osuru stared at the boy who was shooting off at the mouth, this was not the child he woke up to looming over him.

Emiko blinked, "Oh, well it was nice to meet you Osuru-san, my name is Shinai Emiko. Naruto-kun's caregiver."

Osuru bowed in greeting, "Pleasure to meet you, Shinai-san. Pardon my intrusion, I'll be leaving now."

Osuru hurriedly left the apartment, leaving behind a beaming jinchuriki and a puzzled caregiver.


	24. Chapter 23

**Esparia: Update~ Update~ Update~ Why is there so much talking in this update? This feels like a weird filler...bah, whatever. Oh, and the thing taking place instead of the journal entry (though it sorta is one?) is something that has been in existence longer then the prologue.**

**Disclaimer: If you think for some reason that Esparia owns Naruto...then I'm sorry to tell you, but you are wrong.**

**Esparia: Nearly forgot (I do this stuff at night so my mind gets a little muddled). In my sleepy induced wisdom, I created a post-apocalyptic Naruto fanfiction. I'm actually surprised that there aren't more of these, people prefer fixing things with time travel I suppose. I mean, come on, time travel is awesome. But post-apocalyptic stuff is a different kind of awesome. I'll see if I can get it betaed...then post...maybe...hmm.**

**(Literally, I do everything at night...and by morning I'm thinking 'this is no good...but deadlines are deadlines...ah whatever. Post!' ~later on~ 'What was I thinking...this is an embarrassment to humanity's creativity...*shame*')**

* * *

Chapter Twenty Three

The Fountain of Youth

_July 23__rd__, Tenth year of the 3__rd__ Timeline_

"_Why me?"_

_Echo of pain in a market square._

"_What did I do to deserve this?"_

_A crowd of people are beginning to stare._

"_Tell me!"_

_The crowd remained silent, what will the boy say?_

"_Did I ever hurt you for hating me? Did I ever lash out at your stinging words?"_

_A few wary glances at the ticking time bomb._

"_I loved this village! I bled for this village! I lost everything for you ungrateful pieces of scum! Trash! Trash is what you are!"_

_The uneasy audience starts to back away._

"_I offer my care and what do I get in return? Cruel words and underhanded moves."_

_A few quiet movements signal that the ANBU have come._

"_What am I to you? A monster? A demon? An unstable beast that needs taming?"_

_Some flee with terror in their eye._

"_Maybe you fools have forgotten what a real monster is!"_

_Flash backs repeat of loved ones as they die._

"_Well good riddance! See if I save you the next time the real demon comes."_

_Fear. Hate. Grief. The mantra will repeat._

"_Watch how I stand by as that monster destroys your lives, your homes, your families, and takes everything away from you!"_

_Anger. Pain. Loss. Ultimate defeat._

"_See if the demon child cares. See if the monster still cares."_

_Grief. Despair. Regret. In such a sunny day._

"_So why...why me?"_

_A world weary sigh as they take him away._

"_Why do I...still care?"_

* * *

"Alright men! It's been a week and there is still no sign of the Shisui clone, it's safe to say that he no longer remembers what he is," Koji announced exactly one week since Naruto's birthday. They had been looking for the Shisui clone for the entirety of that time, but they hadn't found hide nor hair of the clone. Evidence of the clone were there, such as the things Shisui mentioned other people saying he said without his knowledge. Shisui often had to play those conversations by ear. As far as that went though, there were not signs of it being around. It was as if it physically vanished, which wouldn't have been to strange since it was a clone however they would have known if the clone dispelled. It didn't.

"That being said," Shiro continued, "we could be passing him in the street and be mistaking him as Shisui."

"We can't dispel the clone in front of witnesses," Koji said, "besides, the only way to get rid of those clones is by killing them. Which would kill Shisui if we got him instead of his clone. Those clones die the same way humans die unless, verses the Sudden Death clones usually have. Unless it dismiss itself or dies, we're going to have two Shisui running around Konoha. They bleed the same as humans too. It's nearly impossible to figure out the difference when the clone forgets."

"Then lock Shisui up and hunt down the clone," Mitsuo said, "if he wasn't always with his _girlfriend_ then we would have an easier time finding it."

"Lock him away and make the her wonder what happened to him?" Shiro asked incredulously, "The woman is a sadistic torturer. What part of that sounds like a good idea? Yes, let's make a young torturer think her boyfriend-"

"The aren't dating," Koji interjected.

"They might as well be," Shiro said with a roll of his eyes, "Let's make her think that her _close friend that happens to be whipped for her _is missing and possibly avoiding her? I'm sure that it is a brilliant plan to make him drop off the face of the earth, but I have yet to see the brilliance of it. Please point it out to these unenlightened eyes."

Mitsuo huffed angrily, "well we need to pick out the fake sooner or later. Preferably sooner before it ruins our plans."

"What do you care about our plans? Pessimist-san? I thought you wanted everything to burn to the ground," Shiro taunted.

"Twisting my words again? _Snake-san_?" Mitsuo hissed.

"Guys, let's not fight. We're here to figure out the situation with the Shisui copy clone," Koji said.

"Tch, whatever," Mitsuo mumbled and walked away.

Noriyuki trotted after his older self, leaving the other Narutos to decide how to proceed. The copy clone had to be caught.

* * *

Hajime and Naruto cocked their heads like a pair of bird, both sets of blue eyes stared at the enormous rock in front of them. Granted you couldn't tell how truly big it was since the base was more or less covered by the sands of the desert. On the surface it looked no bigger then a twin sized bed.

"So..." Hajime trailed off.

"I guess this could work," Naruto said.

"It really doesn't look like much from this point of view," Hajime said, tilting his head the other way. Naruto copying his movement just a millisecond slower.

"No, it doesn't," Naruto agreed, "But if what Gaara says is true, then it should be pretty awesome once we get inside."

"Who knew Sukaku built so many sandcastles before being captured?" Hajime wondered aloud.

"The other biju? His father?" Naruto offered.

"It was rhetorical. I just didn't expect the ichibi to be so thankful after removing those natural curse marks," Hajime said.

Naruto squinted at the plain looking rock, "you know I didn't fix Gaara's seal nor Shukaku's curse marks for this, right?"

"Yeah I know," Hajime said, starring at the rock with a similar expression, "though a sandcastle for a base isn't unwelcome."

"I wonder if it has a dungeon, having a holding cell for prisoners would be helpful later on," Naruto said.

Hajime nodded, "I would imagine so, what is a castle without a dungeon?"

"Well...it doesn't have a moat either," Naruto said, "and from what I can tell it doesn't have windows. What castle doesn't have windows?"

Hajime frowned, "how are we going to get any light down there? If that thing is as big as Gaara described, we're going to need legions of seal clones down there just to get the lighting up. Not to mention security seals and anything else we need for electricity."

"I wonder if this is what Orochimaru had to go through for every single hide away he had, he would be the only one doing the seals though," Naruto wondered aloud, "a few kage bunshin at best. Probably why his places were so dark, tons of light seals would be an unnecessary work load."

"I almost pity him for the amounts of hand cramps he must have went through," Hajime said, "it was bad enough filling all those papers as a kage."

"You were at war, you hardly had to fill any paperwork out what with surviving being the more prominent thing!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Maa, it was still a lot...especially without the kage bunshin," Hajime pouted, "besides, how was I supposed to know that all the important stuff required my bloody thumb print?"

"It was your own fault for not noticing Jiji's thumb scar," Naruto said.

"I thought it was from summoning his primates," Hajime defended.

Naruto just shook his head and continued looking at the pointy rock, Hajime turned his attention back to the strangely shaped stone as well.

There was a long pause before Naruto said, "We should probably head back to Suna now, Gaara should be waking up from his nap."

"The kid sleeps like a log," Hajime said.

"More like the Sandman used Sleep Debt no Jutsu; it was _very effective,_" Naruto said.

Hajime snorted, "Gaara _is _the sandman."

Naruto laughed, "a scary one."

The duo took one more look at the sandstone rock before heading back to Sunagakure.

Naruto looked up at the sky and sighed, "I've been gone longer then I expected. I should be heading home soon."

Hajime nodded in understanding.

"I take it you'll be staying here," Naruto said, looking up at his older self, "that stabilizing seal seems to work as long as you keep eating like normal person, you should be able to continue to 'make' chakra."

"Weird and slightly inconvenient," Hajime mused, "I'm going to need to figure out how to get food and money."

Naruto shrugged, "Mercenary work is what we're basically going to be doing. Besides, with your friendly face, you'll get work in no time at all."

"When are you planning on leaving?" Hajime asked, side stepping a cactus. He eyed it warily before focusing back on Naruto.

Naruto hummed in thought, "In a day or two, I'll supply a bunch of clones to work on the sandcastle as soon as Gaara opens it up for them."

"You're leaving me in charge of a legion of you?" Hajime realized with dawning dread. A massive castle that could fit three times the amount of civilians in Konoha. An unknown amount of time where the Narutos were sure to get bored, "I'm doomed, see you in the next timeline."

"You'll also have Gaara to help," Naruto reassured, "Being he knows what's going on, he should be able to help quite a lot."

"I'm surprised he took the time traveling thing so well, he didn't seem confused by it at all," Hajime said, "It was uncanny."

"In past lives, he had mentioned that he met another time traveler before," Naruto said, a contemplative frown making its way onto his face. He had forgotten it before, but now that he was thinking about it. The previously dismissed conversations with the redhead popped up. Few and near nonexistent. Gaara hardly mentioned them, as if they were such regular thing why bother to mention it. Such as, "oh yes. I have a nose and can smell out of it. What? Can't you?"

"He said that? What timeline?" Hajime asked, not remembering such an event, he guessed it happened in a future timeline.

"I think it was during Koji's timeline," Naruto said, "he was telling me about someone who visited from time to time but never aged."

"I think that might have been Tsunade, she has the fountain of youth genjutsu," Hajime said, "or at the very least someone else copied it."

"Fountain of youth genjutsu sounds like something that was patented by Gai," grumbled Naruto.

* * *

Somewhere at the borders of Water country a magnificent beast of youth sneezed and struck a pose while flipping through hand signs.

His fellow ninja jolted in fear and closed their eyes as their enemy watched on in astonishment and growing trepidation. The man's allies buried themselves under the ground with donton jutsu, pulled their hitai-ate down over their eyes, or simply closed their eyes and plugged their ears.

"With the Power of Springtime and New Life; I, Maito Gai the Magnificent Beast of Youthful Power, cast upon you, Unyouthful Terrorists of the Frosts of Winter, the Ultimate Genjutsu of Spring!" The Beast of Youth declared loudly, "Behold! Furousen: Yourei no Jutsu!" (Fountain of Youth: Childhood Jutsu)

A blinding green light permitted from the man, taking hold of the twenty-four foes before him. Trapped they were for the rest of their days in the permanent henge like form of young children.

"I shrunk!" squeaked a thug.

"Kumichyou! What do we do?" panicked another.

"Retreat!" called the four year old leader as he led his men-children away from the terrifying beast of youth.

"Yosh, another mission youthfully done with absolutely no bloodshed!" Gai declared proudly.

His teammates were peaking out from under their hitai-ate, through their eyelids, and above their hole of protection. It was fairly simple being on such missions with Gai, if not a little scarring. Needless to say, any ninja that has ever gone on missions with Gai such as this one, were never interested in finding the Fountain of Youth nor were they interested in living forever let alone the rest of their days without aging.

* * *

Naruto shook his head, "but anyway. Gaara had mentioned that this person knew a future event or something of the sort. He never expanded on it and I let it be. That was Koji's timeline. In Mitsuo's timeline he mentioned something similar but along the lines of 'you have the same air as the time skipper'."

Hajime frowned, "A crazy? A seer? Everyone knows time travel isn't real."

"That is possibly the most hypocritical thing I have ever heard come out of my mouth," Naruto said, eyes squinting up at the sky.

"It's not like our circumstances were normal. Maybe it was us and we told him not to tell us?" Hajime offered.

Naruto scratched his cheek, "Not impossible. It's likely that it is just a crazy."

"Now who's being hypocritical?" Hajime grumbled.

Naruto stuck his tongue out at his older self, "But, we shouldn't just dismiss this either, if there is another like us then they could either be for the world's survival or against it."

"Just what we need, another Changer," Hajime sighed, "let's just hope he or she isn't in the Akatsuki."

"I think we would have known if they were." Naruto said, "they haven't exactly put a stop to our plans in the past timelines."

"All the more reason for it to be some nut," Hajime said, "I take it that you're going to want me to keep an eye on Suna for such a person."

"I'm so glad we're on the same page," Naruto said, a grin making its way onto his face.

Hajime just rolled his eyes at his younger self and continued his march to Suna.

* * *

Shisui was bounding through the trees at breakneck speed, he had to get away from the Ne-nin on his tail. He just didn't know how they found him. He had been careful not to be found by them, or at the very least not in a position to be singled out from. He spent a good amount of time in the village, in crowds, in the public's eye. They wouldn't approach him and risk being seen by their enemies.

To top it off there was a look alike of him wandering the village. Shisui had been careful with what he said and tried to intently figure out what his other self was saying. Annoyingly enough, it acted the same way he was and was simply winging the conversations that were meant to trap the other him.

He had yet to see himself face to face, as strange as that sounded, but saw his other self every now and then from a distance before it disappeared.

However his strange clone was not the top priority at the moment, the Ne-nin that were on his tail on the other hand were very much his top priority. He knew what they wanted from him, but he was loathe to give it to them. He could fight them, and hope he could defeat them however it still risked the possibility that his eyes would be taken.

If he continued running they might lose him, however not without the threat of him running out of chakra. He had been training on making his chakra reserves bigger, stamina wasn't his biggest strength after all. With the the training though came exhaustion, which he was now nearing. He wouldn't last long in a fight, but he would last an even shorter amount of time if he kept running and they eventually caught up.

Sadly they were gaining on him, he would have to face them and hope for the best.

Turning around he activated his sharingan.

"Uchiha Shisui," one of the masked ninja said flatly, "we are under orders to bring you to Danzo-sama. You have failed to answer his summons for you."

"I have said that I refuse to go," Shisui replied.

"We have been ordered to use force if you do not agree to come peacefully," the ninja responded with the same flat tone, "Do you agree to come peacefully?"

"My answer remains no. I refuse to answer Danzo's summon," Shisui replied and leaped to meet one with a clash of blades, his tanto held tightly in his hands.

The other two ne-nin attacked his back and flank, their mission was to render him unconscious and bring him in. Danzo did not want him dead after all, but if it proved too difficult to bring him in alive then they were to either extract an eye and return to their leader or they were to kill the ninja and bring his body to him. But the most important order was to not mutilate his eyes.

Red and black spinning eyes eventually caught one of the ninja in a genjutsu, making him turn on his comrade. The ninja not being targeted by his comrade shoved a senbon into the man under the illusion's arm.

Returning to their target they resumed attacking him at different fronts. Eventually managing to unarm Shisui, forcing his tanto to fly across the small area they were fighting in. Shisui's hands flipped through hand signs to make a simple wind attack in the hopes that he would be able to blind them with the upturned dust in order to get a surprise attack in.

What Shisui got instead was a senbon to the back of his neck from the fourth ninja that he hadn't sensed. He yanked it free from its place and sent a barrage of shuriken at the assailant.

A high kick to his jaw forced him to dodge into another's punch, sending him flying backward into an adjacent tree. There were a lot of trees in Konoha's forest, but this one in particular was very old. Old enough to lose a branch and clock the head of one of the ne-nins. That ninja dropped like a fly.

Shisui took that moment to jump into the tree and cling to it like a gecko. He could feel the beginnings of a drug's effect, from the senbon he assumed. The assailant that shot him with the senbon attacked him from above while the remaining two attacked from below.

With a kick he leaped over to the next tree and back onto the ground, shuriken and kunai launched their way.

As he was prepared to shunshin behind one of the ninja, the ground beneath him opened up. One of the ninja disappeared like a mirage, revealing that it was this ninja that dragged him beneath the earth up to his neck. He could feel the ninja's hold on him tighten as he tried to kick at the ground beneath him with chakra.

The ninja from above struck him with another drug laced senbon, one meant to freeze his muscles Shisui recognized. He would have five minutes tops to escape and hide before the drug immobilized him completely.

With a surge of lightning chakra he zapped the one pinning his feet together and shot upward. That ninja managed to get above ground before passing out. The remaining two sped towards him. His tanto in reach, he lunged for it and blocked the katana of one of his assailants

His other attacker however foresaw this struck at his now opened side with a kunai, forcing Shisui to jump away from the blow. His movements were becoming slower, he had three minutes.

He sprang forward with a burst of speed and a flawless body flicker and struck the back of the one that drugged him.

The remaining ninja aimed for a downward strike that was blocked by the smaller tanto. The duo held their blades unrelenting against one another before springing away. Shisui attacked first, trying to get within his blade's range and take advantage of the katana's blind spot.

He was unprepared to be struck at from behind, forcing him to twist away from the attacker from behind. The ne-nin with the katana in front of him earlier disappeared with a cloud of smoke.

With a leap he was back to facing off the opponent. His limbs were getting heavier and movements hindering, he had two minutes. With a body flicker he was behind the kenjutsu user and rendering him unconscious. With a breath of relief he lowered his weapon.

The sound of moving air beside him made him turn to block but not quick enough to prevent two deft fingers from removing his eye. The man that had been 'knocked out' from the fallen branch secured Shisui's eye before disappearing to report to Danzo, recognizing that he wouldn't be able to keep the eye and take the Uchiha down at the same time.

Shisui growled, his eye was stolen and his body was freezing up. Deciding to make a run for it, he shunshinned to his home. Where he would lay under the bed for a few hours and wait for the drug to wear off. He knew having that hide away under his bed would serve him some purpose later in life outside of hiding his candy stash from Itachi. That mini-genius had one heck of a sweet tooth.


	25. Chapter 24

**Esparia: Truth be told, my inspiration is dying for this thing...****and winter is coming...so my joints hurt...and Penny died...eeeeeehhh...why do all my plants (except Sir Reginald Leo Charles Fitzherbert the first and Bambi) die? No motivation!**

**(Warning: Need To Rant detected.)**

**Disclaimer: ****Esparia doesn't own Naruto, big surprise that is, no?**

**Sasuke: Then quit, no one would care...**

**Esparia: Harhar, no I need to finish this thing. It's just that after finally finishing the timeline a few days back...*shudder*...it's not pretty.**

**Sasuke: … *quirks eyebrow***

**(Warning: Rant detected ahead, proceed with caution.)**

**Esparia: You know, when I started this story it was so I could focus my mind in calming and menial thought patterns. Created to distract myself from everything wrong with everything. But no! What did I do? I create a monster of epic proportions with such complexity that when spread across my floor it looks like a binder vomited composition research papers! What's worse is that I **_**know**_** that once I finish SSB I'll need to go back through it **_**again**_** and **_**rewrite**_** it. **

**_page and a half of angry rant about the author's failing health, psychological complexities, society's unreasonable demands, dead plants, and other such nonsense was removed from this document. Be grateful..._**

**Sasuke: … *backs away***

**Esparia: And I'm not good at writing Anko, what convoluted part of me said, "yes, Anko would be perfect for this role as Character X! The easiest way to get her into position would be by having her date Shisui, I am a genius!"**

**Kakashi: *nibbling on food while hiding behind his book* Probably the sleep deprived part. I know I do stupid things when sleep deprived.**

**(Warning: Rant set aside for later(never).)**

**Sasuke: Where have you been?**

**Kakashi: Oh, somewhere...over the rainbow. *continues reading book***

**Anko: In the lighting rafters with Sai. You can make some great shadow puppets from up there if you know how not to get burnt. Sai is teaching this idiot how to make a dog, but thus far...heh...he has been a complete and utter failure!**

**Kakashi: Hn, did you say something?**

**Dedicated to Penny the Pineapple Plant. We had a memorable three years of friendship. Sorry for dumping all that weird banana-strawberry juice in your dirt, it was really...really gross... I didn't think you would get root rot from it. Oh, and your planter is being used by my mom's Shamrock.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty Four

Seeing Double

_One average day, few timelines back, Naruto was walking through a large Ikea store. That merchant, Ikea, had become unbelievably wealthy even though his things were almost impossible to assemble (Ikea's things looked cool, that's all that mattered)._

_Naruto was looking a floor lamp, but got lost in process of looking for the floor lamp section. He wasn't sure how he ended up in the gardening section, but he ended up there. There was planters, and watering cans, and many other things that he didn't bother remembering. For when he turned the corner he saw _it_, and instantly fell in love._

_It was the cutest little plant with the smallest pineapple growing on top he had ever seen. He decided to buy it, and since he could see the register, he decided to forgo the plan of getting a floor lamp and try another day. He had a pineapple plant._

_He bought a large greet pot that was slightly on the ugly side and filled it with dirt to put the pineapple plant in. He researched how to take care of a pineapple plant, because he had never had a tropical plant like that one before. He watered and sunned it accordingly._

_Three years past and he had a large thing of disgusting juice sitting in his fridge. It was so disgusting that he couldn't stop gagging on the nasty flavor. However the landlady wouldn't allow him dump it out, so he devised a plan. He thought about plants don't have taste buds, so they would be fine if he gave it to the plants in his room. The nutrients from the juice would probably even help. It wasn't a bad plan, but he got over eager to rid himself of the juice. Sadly he accidentally overwatered the pineapple plant, effectively drowning it and making its roots rot._

_The pineapple plant died a week later._

_The End._

Hajime sighed, looking up at the blue sky as he and his other self walked to Suna, "You know, I once had a pineapple plant growing in my bedroom."

Naruto looked up at Hajime with a grimace, "I had forgotten about that."

* * *

Gaara walked into the kitchen, lethargically opening the fridge having just woken up from a nap on the stairs. His big sea foam green eyes stared into the space filled with varies grocery items before closing the door. He paused and opened the door again. Hearing a surprised squeak off to his left he turned.

Temari opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it and closed it again.

Gaara closed and opened the door again, before saying, "we don't have milk."

"Oh," was all his older sister could say.

"The time traveling ramen monsters should bring some later today," Gaara monotoned and closed the fridge again, "when they visit, wake me up."

With that, the red haired jinchuriki left the kitchen area to take a nap under the dining room table, much too tired to make it to his room.

"Wait," Temari said in panic, "Gaara! Don't fall asleep! Gaara, wake up!"

"Brmmmplegh...ZZZZZ," Gaara snored and drifted off to dreamland.

* * *

Anko was marching toward her raven-haired friend's house. How dare he stick her up for a date? What could have possibly kept him from coming? He had better have a good excuse for leaving her at the park for two hours.

Banging on his front door and eliciting some stares from the grouchy clan members, Anko all but yelled, "Uchiha Shisui, get your player butt out of that hovel of your's this minute or so help me I will bust this door down myself!"

When she didn't receive a reply she continued, "don't think I can't feel your chakra in there, Wimp-kun!"

A few murmured remarks and cool glares from the clan that specialized in dark feelings were sent her way.

Anko frowned at the lack of response she was getting, around this time he would be groveling and begging her not to stick her dango sticks in his ears. (One of her best and most creative threats, if she did say so herself, which of course she did._..share_ ideas with_)_

Trying the handle she found it unlocked, frowning she opened the door, "Shisui-kun?"

Turning her head this way and that in search for traps or seals that could blow her sky high, she proceeded into his home with caution. She hadn't been inside before, _officially_, but she knew that he was home and at least in his bedroom if the empty living area were any indication.

Walking down the hall she cracked opened the bedroom door, she fought back a snicker that eventually turned into uproarious laughter. His feet were sticking out from under his bed like a child hiding from his mother to avoid going to the doctor's.

"Shisui-wimp, that's the worst hiding place I've ever seen for a ninja. Get out from under that bed and face me like a man," Anko ordered.

When he didn't respond, not even so much as flinch, she grabbed him by the feet and dragged him out from under the bed.

Her blood turned cold as she dropped his stiff limbs. Mouth gaping she approached his face, "Shisui-kun?"

His entire body was stiff and if it weren't for the gentle puffs of air from his nose, she would have sworn he was dead. He was dressed in training attire, stains on his knees and hands while his hitai-ate was slightly loose. One hand was clenched around his tanto while the other was frozen in a half formed tiger seal. Black hair hung limply over his bruised face but did nothing to hide his eyes, which were their natural black and half lidded, he wasn't looking anywhere. That was when she noticed the streak of blood across his floor and face, leading to the sunken socket of his right eye.

"Shisui!" Anko shouted in horror, picking him up she moved to jump out the window, "hold on we'll go to the hospital."

"Eeh-aah," was Shisui's surprisingly loud reply.

Anko froze and looked down at Shisui, "Shisui-wimp?"

"Ee..." he responded.

"You don't want to go to the hospital?" Anko asked, taking a wild guess. Shinobi never wanted to go to the hospital, sometimes for personal reasons and sometimes because of ANBU secrets. If it was the ANBU, then Anko would have to find a medic that took care of the ANBU.

"Eeaaaah," Shisui grunted.

"I don't understand," Anko said, "grunt twice if you want to go to the hospital, once if you want to stay here."

"Eeh," Shisui grunted.

"Stay here, got it. Why? Wait- we'll twenty question the crap outta this. One grunt is a yes, two grunts is a no, three grunts if you don't know. Understood?"

"Ee," Shisui grunted.

"Great, first question...did you stick me up on purpose?" Anko asked with a tight smile on her face.

"...ee-aeh," Shisui deadpanned.

Anko crossed her arms, "Good to know, did someone attack you?"

"Ah," Shisui confirmed.

"Is it confidential?" Anko asked, if he was just being a lazy good for nothing that wanted to avoid the hospital...she was going to drag him by his hair.

"Ea-ah-eee-eh," Shisui grunted.

Anko raised an eyebrow, "Was that a 'maybe' or a 'sort of'? Grunt one for the first, two for the second, or three for neither."

Shisui grunted out, "Eah-aa."

"Fine for me to continue asking?"

"Ah..." Shisui reluctantly confirmed.

"Do you know who they were?"

"Ahe-ea-ee-eh," Shisui grunted.

"You sort of know, you know of them but not personally. Grunt how many there were."

"Ah-ah-ah-ah..." Shisui counted off.

"Do you know why they attacked you?"

"Ae."

"For your eye, the missing one?"

"Aa."

"Will you report them?"

"Ah-aa."

"Are they part of the police?"

"Ah-ah."

"Are they part of the higher ups?"

"Ah."

"The hokage?"

"Aa-aa."

"Elders?"

"Ereah-ah-ah-ee."

"Was that a sort of?"

"Ah."

"A sort of elder?"

"Aa."

"With firepower?"

"Ah."

"ANBU firepower?"

"Ah!"

"ANBU that work for the Hokage?"

"Ae-ee..."

"...Shisui, are you saying that there is a traitor-sort-of-elder with traitor-ANBU that don't work for the Hokage but are instead working for said traitor-sort-of-elder that stole your eye because of the Sharingan?"

"Ah."

"And you can't tell anyone because then this elder will find out?"

"Ah."

"Well (censored for innocent eyes, everyone else can fill in whatever you'd expect an angry teen interrogator (that happens to be Anko) to say here...)."

"Aa."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Aeeh?"

"That didn't sound very reassuring."

"...Aeh...ga-e-eh..."

"...let's talk once this stuff is out of your system."

"Ah."

"Which means I'm going to have to wait."

"Ah."

"Which means I'm going to be bored."

"...aaa..."

"You can't move at all, not even your chakra, right?"

"..."

"You know what this means?"

"...Aa?"

Anko grinned and leaned down to his eye level with a sadistic gleam in her eyes. Anko pulled out a pink pen and waved it lazily in front of his face.

"A-akaaa...ah ee eh-ka-aa."

"Oh I don't know, a little," Anko tapped her chin in thought.

"Ah-ha-ha-ha..." Shisui laughed nervously, eyebrows twitching up a bit, "Akaaa..."

"I need to pay you back for leaving me in that park for two hours," Anko declared.

"Akaaa," Shisui grunted wearily, watching her deft finger uncap the pen with growing trepidation.

"Mwahaha! You can't shunshin away from me now, Wimp-kun!"

"AAAHHH!"

* * *

While Shisui's face was being doodled on, a different Shisui sat under a tree in the park waiting for Anko. He had been late because of a meeting the Uchiha head and elders were holding, he was asked questions about Itachi but other then that it was a regular meeting that included plotting and over throwing governments.

He was going to apologize to her but she was nowhere to be found. He tried her house and a few restaurants or stores she could be in but still couldn't find her. Shisui figured that she was working, he didn't know when she was going to be done with torturing the poor ninja that was put under her, but he decided that flowers and an apology note were good ways to placate her when she returned home...then he could apologize to her face without worrying about getting skewered by a dango stick.

He hadn't seen Naruto for a while, so he decided it might be a good idea to check in with the boy.

With a plan set in mind, he made his way out of the village he paused when he saw the brown haired Noriyuki running after a black haired, green eyed Mitsuo.

Shisui frowned, Naruto must still have been looking for his double. It was weird, Shisui thought, having a second him walking around and thinking he was the real Shisui. He had seen his copy a few times wandering the streets of Konoha, he didn't approach him for obvious reasons.

He had been attacked by Root ninja a few times in the past. He was quick to disappear. Naruto had told him not to confront the Ne-nin, however sometimes it was unavoidable and he had to catch them in a genjutsu. If they weren't so hard to keep under, Shisui would have an easier time.

Speaking of which, Shisui could sense a small group of Ne-nin running his way. Their presence was not aggressive. Flickering up onto a building, Shisui watched the trio appear. They seemed to be heavily battered and were staring up towards Shisui.

"Uchiha Shisui," one of the ninja said, "your presence here is impossible."

"Oh?" Shisui asked, he knew his other self had been summoned by Danzo before so it was likely that, "Has Danzo-sama asked for me again?"

This seemed to confuse the Ne-nin; well, what would have been confusion if it weren't for their emotionless states of mind.

"You were refusing to come on Danzo-sama's summons," responded one of the ne-nin, "you showed insubordination and treason. You should not be able to move."

"You attacked me," Shisui stated, realizing that they must have attacked his other self. He realized that there must have been an attempt for his eyes. They were likely successful if they were returning to Danzo. They either obtained the other Shisui's eye(s) and he escaped or the other one died and was sealed in a scroll. Though from what Shisui was told by Naruto's clone, the other Shisui would go up I smoke if it died. The clone would poof away from existence and leave behind the small DNA sample used to make the clone. Though the problem with that would be that the Ne-nin wouldn't seal away a poof of clone nor would they be so confused if they saw him if they knew the other was a clone. The other Shisui didn't die then...or, if it did and it left a body, then that would make Shisui the clone. What a disturbing thought.

It had crossed his mind a few times, knowing that the clone was completely convinced it was Shisui, it was possible that he was the clone who merely thought he was Shisui. Was Shisui a clone? If that was so, then he would have to carry out the plan Naruto created for Itachi's infiltration into Akatsuki. But how would he know if he was the real Shisui? Maybe he could figure it out with the other Shisui.

But first thing first, the Ne-nin were going to stay. With a well placed paralysis genjutsu the three fell to the ground with soft thuds.

Shisui hummed and jumped away.

He managed to track the other Shisui down to his house, he could also feel Anko's presence inside. The Uchiha frowned, Anko was in his house. The one that he accidentally forgot to meet up up. He would rather not get an ear full of dango sticks, he would keep his distance for now. Dampening his chakra he peeked inside, only to see that the beautiful snake girl drawing weird mustaches and strange markings all over his clone's face...or maybe it was the original's.

Not wanting to be part of that he quickly left, but not before seeing the sunken lid of his duplicate's right eye.

So the eye was removed. Clones popped once they were damaged. Shisui knew that the clones that Naruto made had to be killed to be popped but he didn't think a clone could loose something like an eye and still have that organ remained intact. The ne-nin wouldn't take a cloned eye and run, especially if the thing popped in their hands. So it would have been solid and real, just like that Shisui on the ground. That must mean that he was the clone. It made him sad to think that he was merely a shadow when he felt so real. But no matter. He would fake his death in front of Itachi and Shisui would be a dead man.

Shisui's mental eyes widened when he felt his replicated self outside the door. The clone, he knew, thought it was him. Though what the clone was doing didn't settle well for him. It was moving with purpose towards his stash of hidden weapons. What it was planning for, Shisui didn't know. But he knew that he had to get to Naruto and talk to him.

The Shisui from before landed in front of Noriyuki and Mitsuo.

Both jumped back a bit, Noriyuki smiled up at the Uchiha, "Hey Minion-kun!"

"Noriyuki-kun, Mitsuo-kun...I have a dilemma," Shisui said, shifting on his feet.

"Oh, did your girlfriend dump you. That's not surprising," Mitsuo said rolling his head to the side.

Shisui huffed, "No, I have reason to believe I am the copy clone."

Noriyuki's eyes bugged out, "what makes you say that?"

"Oh finally, we can end this," Mitsuo grumbled, taking out a knife to strike the guy with.

"Whoa! Whoa!" Noriyuki waved his hands wildly, "We aren't killing anyone unless we're sure. Shisui-san, why do you think you're a clone."

"I've seen my other self, it's weird to see yourself," Shisui said scratching his head, "He's missing an eye from a fight with a group of Ne-nin, I just came to tell you that I plan on doing what the old Shisui did in the past. I just need you to tell the others and get to the other- to Shisui. Anko is taking _care _of him and for whatever reason isn't bringing him to the hospital. I don't think I should approach him or Anko, it would raise questions."

"So you plan on destroying yourself and repeat the past?" Mitsuo asked.

"That's the plan anyway, I'm just going to set it up," Shisui-clone said with a wave and disappeared to talk to Itachi.

Mutsuo grumbled about having to do all the work and walked off to talk to the others and Shisui. Noriyuki watched the other Shisui leave with a contemplative look in his eyes.

* * *

"Danzo-sama," a band of bloody and loyal nondescript ne-nin bowed in sync to their master.

"0342 has already brought the eye and has given his report," Danzo said, with a dismissive air.

The trio stood before him without moving, waiting for his permission to report or leave.

"You may go," Danzo said.

The trio leapt into the shadows, not thinking anymore on the subject of two Shisui roaming the streets of Konoha.

* * *

"Shisui-baka!" Noriyuki yelled as he busted into the room, "I tell you not to lose your eye to the Child Snatcher and what do you do? You lose your eye to the Child Snatcher!"

"Neh, not my fault..." Shisui wheezed, carefully propped up against the wall.

Mitsuo took one look at Shisui and began laughing hysterically, "Snake-lady is a genius."

Noriyuki glared at his older self, "Mitsuo, shush, we need to figure out what's going on. Shisui, your other self is out prepping for a similar scene that happened in the past. The other Shisui is getting ready to do a "suicide" with Itachi as a witness. You need to pack, quickly, you're going to be a dead man by nightfall."

Shisui blinked, "So it was the other one that was clone?"

Mitsuo shrugged, "the other one thinks so, he saw your missing eye and cooked this up. We didn't get a chance to "renew" him as a clone to check, we'll have to check you."

"So I could be the clone and the real Shisui could be off killing himself?" Shisui asked in horror.

"Either way, you'll be a dead man by nightfall," Mitsuo said nonchalantly.

"I guess it's just fate that I'll die," Shisui sighed.

The clones' face scrunched in distaste, and said in sync, "please don't talk about fate."

Shisui blinked and shrugged, "Anyway, you two might want to pipe down, Anko-chan is in the other room."

"I'm actually right here," Anko said, leaning against the doorframe, eyebrow raised, "is there something you'd like to explain, Shisui-kun?"

* * *

A few hours later Shisui stood quietly by the Naka river, watching the water rush about and ease into swirling currents.

"Shisui-nii, you asked to meet with me here?" A voice behind him inquired.

"Yes," Shisui hummed, turning to look over his shoulder, "that I did, Itachi-kun."

* * *

**Esparia: The next update is in the making...it's going to be longer so it might be in two week instead of a week from now.**


	26. Chapter 25

**Esparia: I finally updated. Should not have taken this long. I was on a roll for a bit...then I kinda burnt my hand and got sick (how do people write when they're sick?)...writer's block hit hard after that. Writer's block is the worst...so is finding out there is a large monkey wrench in your plans for going to college. Alas, my woes are nothing compared to others; God bless France in their time of mourning. France has my condolences for those lost to the terror attack.**

**Disclaimer:**** Esparia doesn't own Shisui- nor Naruto, else this would have been updated quicker...**

**Esparia: You know, making a story is like making the body of a snowman, let's say the snowman is the story and the snow on the ground is inspiration. It starts out easily enough (unless you have the wrong kind of snow...then your snowman is done for), make a little snowball...roll it around a bit and it gets bigger and more circular (unless you screw up and only roll in one direction). Pretty soon you have a fairly large sized snowball that's roughly the size of a small bolder. If you pause to readjust your grip you notice it's harder to move but once it's rolling, it rolling. It gets bigger and bigger as you add more and more snow to it and then it starts getting stuck (writer's block) by itself and you have to **_**push hard**_** like **_**ram your body to make that sucker move an inch **_**(forced inspiration)! Basically it starts not being able to move if you don't continuously push at it, usually around this time you took up a large portion of snow from your yard and your yard looks dead and patchy...to top it off all the snow left is quite a distance away from you bolder sized ball of snow. So you start bringing snow to it and the snow keeps getting further and further away until you have no snow left in your yard. Now you have to options...trespass and steal the snow in your neighbor's yard (plagiarism, not recommended), or wait for the clouds to open up and give you more as you meekly scrape the snow off your roof and shake it out of trees (also not recommended being it's inefficient and uncomfortable when snow drops down your back).**

Chapter 25

In Which Shisui Dies and Itachi Becomes an Eye Collector

October 15th, 6th year of the 7th Timeline,

The mind of an Uchiha is a scary and usually very twisted place. They complicate things and take one of two paths, the path of the insane-revenge seekers or the path of the self-sacrificing idiots. They are extremists in a very emotional sense, they deny their emotions to become "perfect ninja" and to gain "strength". Really though, what is the sense in this? Does it not take great amounts of courage loving and showing that you care to someone? To do everything in your power to show and protect that person you love, is that not the hardest thing to do? To show your underbelly? To announce that this is your vulnerable side? But to never deny or pretend that you have no care.

I think the hardest things to do are the ones that mean the most. Whether it be a good thing or not, it will make a bigger impact the harder it is.

Loving someone is to show them your underbelly, and it will hurt if they use your love to attack you. It will hurt the most because you love them. Love is a double edged sword after all, but you do not love something if you are not willing to show your weak side for it. That is cowardice.

This is what I do not understand about the Uchiha. They care for their clan, but refuse to show that they can care for one another. What a strange mindset. If you care, show that you do! If you don't, well then don't pretend to care. Perhaps I'm too strait forward to ever truly understand that clan.

Where there is supposed to be love, hate can easily take its place. Oh why is there so much hate in this world?

Until next time or no time, farewell,

Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto

* * *

"Shisui-nii, what did you need?" Itachi asked.

"Let's talk, Itachi-kun," Shisui said, a heavy note making his usually light tone fade into near nonexistence. Only half facing the younger ninja.

"Hn," Itachi muttered, approaching his elder cousin who plopped himself down to sit facing the Naka river. Itachi carefully took the spot next to Shisui, eyes flicking to the strangely quiet teen then back to the rushing river. His cousin would talk when he was supposed to, Itachi respected him enough to not press him.

"We are very small, don't you think?" Shisui mused, "Us, our clan, the village, we're all so small. Small stones in the ocean. Yet, pebbles may be pebbles but they can still create a ripple. Put many pebbles together and even small things can do something comparatively bigger than what originally thought possible."

Itachi sat silently, listening to his cousin talk. The sound of rushing water merely white noise to the strange words his cousin spoke.

"A true shinobi is one that doesn't take any acknowledgment for himself, one that lives in the shadows and never exists. Insignificant pebbles, when thrown right can bring down fortresses," Shisui said, fingering a small rock in his hand, "that is something I have always believed but never truly understood until now."

Itachi glanced at the little rock, a smoothed river stone.

Shisui looked up at him, "something I believe you already understand. You have and will continue to surpass me in this, however...Itachi-kun, a small stone cannot withstand a river forever. It wears away the edges and takes away from the rock bit by bit until it becomes a grain of sand. If the pebble had been with other pebbles to share the burden of the river then it would have lasted longer."

Itachi inclined his head, he thought he understood what Shisui was saying. It made sense, after all, he would need allies if he were going to reform the Uchiha clan. Shisui had always covered his back and would always be his closest friend. He would accept Shisui readily as an ally.

"You have shouldered it enough times, this time I will take the burden for you," Shisui said, fisting the rock, "you won't have to be responsible for this one, Itachi."

Itachi furrowed his eyebrows, noticing the lack of an honorific. He didn't understand what Shisui was saying, that is, until his cousin turned to fully face him. His previously unseen side shown to Itachi, the prominently sunken eye socket stood out like a frog's croak during a snowfall.

Shisui smiled slightly and turned back to the roaring water, now becoming more ominous.

"Shisui, was it...the tree's foundation?" Itachi asked, clenching his fist lightly.

"Hm~ Will you safeguard my other eye?" Shisui asked, "you're the only one I would trust with it."

Itachi stiffly nodded once; Danzo took Shisui's other eye then, whether Danzo planned to use Shisui's eye or not was the question.

With deft fingers, Itachi stiffened at the squelch as Shisui removed his other eye and handed it to his younger cousin.

Itachi took the bloodied organ and couldn't help but stare at the red and black sharingan staring back up at him. He looked up when Shisui stumbled slightly toward the edge of the Naka river.

"Death by water fits my name, don't you think?" Shisui hummed in thought, facing the sound of the river, "The clan will not believe you, of course. Stubborn brats. Though it'll be resolved, so don't worry about it."

Itachi stood up, "Shisui, you don't have to-"

"Foolish little cousin," Shisui smiled over at Itachi, "a true ninja doesn't exist or take any credit for themselves, ne?"

With a flurry of hand seals, a pulse of chakra, and a fatal leap over the side of a cliff face, Shisui Uchiha disappeared.

* * *

-Earlier-

"Well, is somebody going to tell me or do I need to torture it out of you?" Anko asked.

"Kunoichi-san!" Noriyuki greeted, "we were just talking to Minion-kun about you."

"Hm, yes I heard," she commented, "what's this about a clone?"

Shisui looked at Mitsuo and Noriyuki out of the corner of his eye, "um, that's classified."

Anko closed her eyes, eyelid twitching, "I'm a torture and interrogation apprentice, I'm fairly sure I'm classified enough to know who is a clone in here."

The clones and Shisui looked at each other then back at her, "but it's classified."

Anko's eyes flashed open, "well declassify it, I'd like to know why my boyfriend is a clone."

Shisui protested, "I might not be a clone- wait, boyfriend? We're dating?"

Mitsuo and Noriyuki turned to leave, the ninja world was an "every man for himself" type world as it was.

"He's a dead man anyway," Mitsuo whispered to his younger self.

"Hey, wait!" Shisui called to them.

"Brought this upon himself," Noriyuki agreed.

Mitsuo hummed and said, "Let's leave quickly, there's nothing that can stop a woman's wrath."

"Come on guys! Don't ditch me!" Shisui desperately yelled.

"What about chocolate?" Noriyuki asked.

"That only works on occasion, a true man never relies solely on one solution only. Chocolate can be overused too easily," Mitsuo explained, gently shoving Noriyuki out the door.

"Wait, why do you know that?" Noriyuki asked.

"I came right after Koji's timeline and thought a lot about his married life," Mitsuo replied.

"Oi, brats," Anko growled, grabbing the two by their scruff, "somebody is going to tell me what's going on, and it might as well be you two."

"Would dango work in this situation?" Noriyuki asked.

Mitsuo shrugged, "this is usually the best time to grovel and beg for forgiveness for some unknown wrong you committed against her. If she holds the power over you, it's unlikely she'll relinquish it until you're back on her good side."

The two looked up with big blue eyes, "we'll buy you dango if you don't kill us, Anko-sama."

Anko stared, "your would be tempting if it gave me what I really want at the moment. I am an interrogator, I get answers to questions I have when I want answers to questions I have. I want answers, I'll go through the weakest link."

Mitsuo and Noriyuki looked at each other before Noriyuki said to Mitsuo, "well, Minion-kun can't talk and we aren't in charge. If we get the others together we could arrange to have her wiped. That's what the mukage said to do anyway."

Mitsuo grumbled, "this is just getting messy. Stupid Uchiha. It's like their clan was born with some gene that made them the center of every mess. The others should be at the man-cave, so we could send a message."

"Nuh-uh," Noriyuki shook his head, henge brown hair swishing over his eyes, "Taku is in the Hole, we can't contact him even if we wanted to. Hajime is with Mukage-baka. The Representative is with Caretaker-nee, clothes shopping. Only Shiro and Koji would be in the base."

"Four overrules three, call them in," Mitsuo said.

"Why do _I _have to call them in?" Noriyuki asked.

"Because Shiro hates me," Mitsuo huffed, "just get them here."

"Fine," pouted Noriyuki and closed his eyes, "just don't let them make me lose my concentration."

"Hn," Mituo grunted.

Noriyuki smirked, "_U. Chi. Ha._"

"Shut it, twerp," Mitsuo snapped.

* * *

Hajime and Naruto walked through the gates of Sunagakure, both talking lightly to one another.

"You know, this has almost been like a vacation," Naruto said.

Hajime smiled and ruffled his seventh self's hair, "well, considering the past two timelines I should think this is a nice breather."

"Yeah," Naruto paused, "though I feel like something is going to happen while I'm not looking and hit me like a Sakura-Tsunade-combo-punch."

"Heh, you've become paranoid, Naruto," Hajime murmured to himself, "just like Jiji-sama. Don't worry, there are five of your past lives, a near permanent you, and Shisui holding down the fort back at home. What's the worse that could happen?"

"I don't know, my village could get crushed by a meteor, a man from the moon could kidnap my wife, Danzo could become hokage, somebody could introduce Gai to coffee again!"

"Okay, and what is the likely hood of any of that happening yet? It's unlikely, you haven't messed with much so it's doubtful it'll have an outside-the-village influence just yet. If anything, the Uchiha will be massacred. See, that's not so bad, your clones can handle a little uprising," Hajime said, patting Naruto on the shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Naruto said, "well, I guess we should be heading to Gaara's."

"No, he wanted us to pick up some milk first," Hajime said, "said there should be a stand of camels around here somewhere."

"It still astounds me that Suna has such a big trade with camels, quite smart to use their milk instead of cow milk," Naruto said.

"It's actually more nutritious then cow milk," Hajime said, "and sweeter. Good for ice-cream making."

"I still want to try some of that ice-cream, sometime," Naruto commented as he followed Hajime to the stable like stand.

* * *

Noriyuki, slightly transparent, walked down the halls of Naruto's mind, humming lightly to himself as he took a turn down one of corridors and passed by another. He backtracked five steps and took a previously unseen corridor opposite of the one he was taking. Noriyuki found himself in a large circular room with eight large lines running from the center of the room, up the walls, and meeting again on the ceiling.

"_Ugh, why'd Naruto have to lock his mind? Makes this difficult,"_ Noriyuki grumbled with a pout, _"I'm going to get dizzy..."_

Squating in the center of the room with his back facing where the door once stood, _"why do I make things harder than it should be...let's get this over quick..."_

Noriyuki's hands flashed over the lines, lighting them up in a specific order and color before slamming his palms below him. This released a trap door directly above his head. Noriyuki eyed the distance for a bit before he jumped and turned high into the air and willed the gravity in their shared mind to flip. Making the trap door below him so he would fall down it.

Noriyuki landed beneath the trap door and into the sewer like hall. Noriyuki made a mental note to work on the place, his mind was a bit too dreary for his liking.

Noriyuki skipped through the long corridor, passing the extra halls and false doors as he went.

Noriyuki waved and greeted the prison cell that contained a fox biju with a cheery, _"Hello Kurama-san, good-bye Kurama-san."_

This sort of greeting had become a fairly regular occurrence for the fox, he learned it was best to just ignore his strange container.

Noriyuki finally got to the door he was looking for and walked in. It looked about the same as it had started. Walls barren, three desks on each adjacent wall facing the center with the opposite wall's desk where the seventh timeline would sit. The only differences were that all the present Narutos (timelines one through six) were transparent. The seventh was missing from his seat, as he often did when in the outside world.

Something Noriyuki noticed was that Naruto's vacant desk changed color and was decorated with kanji. He would have pondered this more if it weren't for the urgency of Shisui's situation.

Noriyuki jogged over to his desk, which was third on the left wall. His seat taken up by his other transparent form, which he joined in the seat with. Noriyuki blinked a few times and found himself tangible in their mind once again.

Without wasting a second Noriyuki rushed to the person sitting in the first desk to the left. Jabbing his finger into the transparent side of Shiro he said, _"Shiro, connect please!"_

"**Ergh, why did Naruto put the traps up? They give me a headache," **Shiro's grumbling voice echoed the room, **"Noriyuki, what did you need. I was in the middle of something important."**

"_Go to Shisui's house, we have a problem!"_

Shiro was quiet for a moment before his disembodied voice rang in the room, **"I'll be there before you can say 'Ryujin is a pyro'..."**

"_...okay, oh and Anko is there," _Noriyuki warned.

"**Wait, Anko? As in-"**

"_Yes, yes, now go, I need to get Koji," _Noriyuki said and rushed over to the figure sitting between Hajime's and Mitsuo's clear forms. Tapping the see through and oldest Naruto, Noriyuki said, _"Koji, bad news!"_

"**Noriyuki, what's wrong?"**

"_It's Shisui, quickly come to his house. __Mitsuo and I messed up," _he explained.

"**Give me a quick summary," **Koji ordered.

"_Danzo stole his eye, Shisui is poisoned, the other Shisui is going to kill himself, and Anko eavesdropped on Mitsuo and me talking about clone Shisui," _Noriyuki quickly reported.

"**Peachy," **Koji sighed, **"I'll be there in a flash."**

"_No! No flashing!"_

"**Uh...it's a figure of speech, Nori, don't worry. I'll come as quickly as possible."**

Noriyuki hummed in response and let the two's connection fade away. Moving back to his desk to let himself back into the physical world he paused. Previously his desk had been all but bare; a scroll or two in the drawers with a few scratch pieces of paper that had non-chakra based disguise ideas. Now, sitting proudly on the wood was a nameplate that simply read, 'Noriyuki, Rokudaime'. This made him unexplainably happy, perhaps it was the title, perhaps it was because his desk no longer looked so boring and unimportant compared to the others', but it was most likely due to the fact that he was distinguished as someone in Naruto's mind. He was Noriyuki, six years of living, and even though the others' had more years, they couldn't have his.

Setting the nameplate down he let himself return to the outer world.

* * *

Temari was trembling, Gaara had fallen asleep under the kitchen table half an hour ago. He had yet to stir let alone make a noise outside of the gentle puffs of air, yet this terrified her like nothing else could. She tried to wake him up, because she was often told he turned into a monster when he slept or was angered, but he hadn't woken for anything. Her brother slept like the dead.

A knock from the front door startled her enough to leave her frozen position and rush to answer. Unafraid of who would be on the other side.

Even though Suna wasn't the center of sealing, frankly their sealing abilities were rather poor in comparison to some villages, Suna was an expert at notification seals. They couldn't seal up a biju to the expertise seal masters of Konoha could, however they could predict the weather change and had wonderful home security.

The seal that prevented things unwanted in the homes were one of Suna's greatest achievements, though its original purpose was to keep sand out from the homes. It eventually evolved into a home security system that didn't let uninvited guests through the front doors or windows.

She opened the door and stared at the blonde duo, who were smiling with squinting eyes and waving.

"Hello," greeted the older one.

"Hi!" shouted the younger one.

"Hello," Temari replied, "was there something you needed?"

"Mmhm!" the younger one bobbed his head excitedly, "Is Gaara home? He said to meet him here so we could play at the sandcastle later!"

"We also brought milk," the older blonde added, holding up a small jug of milk.

"Uhm," Temari trailed off, eyeing the milk jug as she remembered what Gaara had said to her before he fell asleep, _'The time traveling ramen monsters should bring some [milk] later today.'_

_'Time traveling ramen monsters, these two?' _Temari thought in bewilderment. What was with Gaara and his habit of bringing "time travelers" home? Though none seemed to have any ill will towards them. Giving herself a mental shake she said, "come in, I'll go...wake Gaara up."

"Ah," the older blonde said, "that's fine, if Gaara-kun is sleeping then let him be. We can come back later."

"Ooh, but we need to talk to him about his sandcastle!" the six year old exclaimed, "so can we wait here?"

"...don't invite yourself into other people's homes," the older one chided, rubbing his fingers into his temple. He handed the jug to Temari, "here, Gaara-kun said you'd need it. It's the least we can do for him anyway."

"Thanks," Temari said, taking the jug from the stranger's hands. Glancing at it and then up at the man she sighed, "Gaara said to wake him if you two came over-"

The small blonde that was around Gaara's age beamed, "Awesome! I'll go get him! He's under the table, right?"

The blonde zoomed off into the direction of the kitchen without Temari so much as opening her mouth to reply. Temari turned to the young man with wide eyes.

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly before saying, "I'm sorry, let me introduce us. My name is Hajime-"

"Come on Sandman! The sun is high, the sky is blue, and the world needs its next kazekage!" A loud exclamation and a loud thump from the kitchen interrupted him.

"BLERK! ...Naru...to...you're squishing me..."

"- and that terror is Naruto," Hajime said, "seems the two became good friends at the park while I was out buying supplies."

"Oh," was all Temari could think of to say in response. Remembering her manners she continued, "you may come in if you want."

"Thank you, Temari-chan," Hajime said and stepped through the door, turning around he looked over the building's interior, "Hm~ Somethings never change."

* * *

Mitsuo and Noriyuki patiently waited for their other selves to come, Shisui had started meditating, and Anko...Anko was sharpening her knives.

Koji entered like a civilized person, in other words he hopped through the open window. He, like both Mitsuo and Noriyuki, had henged his hair brown and covered the whisker marks on his cheeks. His eyes were a darker blue, still heavily dilated, and wore standard clothing. He took the room in with a glance and calmly sat beside Shisui, checking his mouth and eyes while muttering about possible poisons.

Shisui, who was quite used to the Narutos by now, let Koji poke and prod him. Koji, while having not only lived the longest and seemingly most successful life, had learned the most about medicine and poison. Taku and Hajime coming in close seconds to his knowledge, Hajime because of the gaseous warfare in his time and Taku because of his time building immunity in Root. Unfortunately, Koji was not prepared to handle poisons that were meant to fell biju. That had been a continued reason why Naruto took out the puppet master Sasori as quickly as possible.

Shoji, on the other hand, came in like the juubi was hacking up chakra hair balls his way, in other words he flew through the wall as if he were a deranged ghost. Fazing through the plaster like it was water with only the slightest ripple, now this wasn't so strange from everyone that knew his timeline's history. Anko and to some extent Shisui had not a clue that he could do this. That is, they hadn't seen anything like people floating through walls like phantoms before. Obviously in a few past timelines Anko would see something of the sort via Lollipop Face. Shoji, well he was Naruto at the time, had seen the jutsu performed enough for him to figure out a way to manipulate the chakra around him to "ripple" and let him pass through things. Not quite how Tobi went about it, but close enough to work about the same. Fascinating story behind this discovery, alas, the writer is too lazy to write about such a discovery at this time and the readers have better things to read than Shoji's misshapen adventures with the doors of Konoha.

"Alright, is that everyone?" Anko asked, "or do I have to wait for more?"

"Noriyuki didn't explain in detail what was going on," Shiro said, "but we can hazard a guess and say you overheard something compromising."

"We need to wipe her memory," Mitsuo interjected.

Koji hummed in thought before commenting, "that isn't our biggest priority at the moment. Shisui is. I have a clone tracking the other Shisui down, though the boy isn't that high in the ranks for nothing. We need to know if this Shisui with us is the real one or the clone."

"Well how are we supposed to do that? It's been a week since the clone was made," Mitsuo snapped, "an entire week. Mukage's memory is gone from that thing, it is Shisui in every sense other than the fact it dies like a clone."

"Are they _clones_," Anko asked Shisui, who nodded slightly.

"We need to interrupt the gene sequence, try to renew this one," Shiro said flippantly, pointing to the Shisui in the room, "problem solved."

"That takes time, tons of chakra, and fresh DNA samples else we would have done it by now. That's why we needed to get them both while they had no outside obligations and compare their memories without them knowing," Mitsuo growled, "The stupid mukage is with Sleeps-A-Lot, so our source of DNA is out the window. All the old samples are too old. So unless you want to bring Itachi into the know, we'll be needing a new plan."

Noriyuki looked at Anko, "what about her? She wants to know...and we know she's a person."

Koji's face took on a thoughtful look, "she would get the memories of the clone, whom has had possible confidential meetings. She will end up knowing things she shouldn't, she'd become a potential leak."

"Leeks are gross," Noriyuki said, with a disgusted squint, "who'd wanna become one of those things?"

Shiro sighed, "not the vegetable, Nori-kun, the tattle-tale one."

"Oh," Noriyuki nodded in understanding.

Koji hummed and said, "Anko-san, how far are you willing to go? Do you really wish to involve yourself with us?"

"Yes," Anko confirmed, a sharp nod of her head emphasizing her point, "there is no way I'm leaving this conspiracy, way to exciting to get up and leave now. Besides, I've never seen a group of clones so interesting."

"She wanted to see Wonderland," Shiro muttered to himself, "and so the Alice chose the red pill, wondering how deep the rabbit hole goes."

Noriyuki looked at Shiro before whispering to Mitsuo, "Shiro is talking to himself again."

"Aren't we all?" Mitsuo wondered.

Koji nodded before addressing Anko, "Anko-san, if you agree to helping us you may gain memories from Boss's past. Possibly Shisui's past too. What we know for sure is that you'll gain the clone's memory."

Anko tilted her head, "that doesn't sound so horrible. I know when to keep my mouth shut."

"Hm, we'd have to bind you to a silencing contract. Shisui is bound already," Koji said, thinking over what Naruto had put the scroll, "though we'd have to retrieve it. We can start by trying to renew this Shisui, if it works we'll bind you. If it doesn't, we'll wipe your memory."

Anko nodded once, "that seems fair, just tell me what you need me to do."

Koji smiled, "First, we're going to need one of your hairs; don't worry about the chakra network, the other clones and I are going to do that."

* * *

While the clones were readying to renew or try to renew the Shisui in the Uchiha compound, the Naruto clone that was still representing Naruto for all social interactions was being dragged around by Emiko. At the moment, they were at a children's clothing store.

"You're growing like a weed, Naruto-kun," Emiko commented, holding up another shirt to his back.

Naruto the clone stared blankly over his shoulder at the girl.

Emiko huffed a small laugh, "well if you stopped squirming and trying to run away, we would have been done by now."

Naruto the clone was _so_ bored, he couldn't wait for the boss to return. The clone frowned, _'I bet Oyabun is having the time of his life while I'm stuck here, surrounded by clothes and panicked time clones.'_

"Frog print...or the hawk print?" Emiko wondered out loud.

"Frog," Naruto answered, "they're like toads...but less cool."

* * *

"Well," Koji said after the jutsu finished, "this could all be worse."

"How could this be worse?" Mitsuo asked, throwing his arms up in the air, "how could this possibly get worse?"

Shiro shrugged, "Gai and Lee could have an espresso training day, Obito could learn to time travel, Tsunade could win the lottery, Hidan could randomly start going _moe~."_

In various universes, some similar and some not so similar, five people sneezed.

Mitsuo stared at his older self for a moment before saying, "sometimes it really worries me that we're the same person. What does that have to do with anything anyway?"

"I'm only saying that this isn't as bad as it could be," Shiro defended, "and humoring the situation to not be so overwhelming is how I cope with stress."

"Well I don't care," Mitsuo huffed, "this situation is stressful and we need to deal with it. Now, does anyone have a _good_ idea on how we're going fix this?"

"We could go to where they are meeting up," Anko suggested, "intervene if and when necessary, we don't know what that Shisui is planning."

"Or how much he'll deviate from the original plan," Shiro added.

"What was your plan to begin with?" Anko asked.

Koji looked at her for a moment before saying, "I can't tell you everything but I will try my best to make it understandable."

* * *

Shisui was checking over his kunai pouch one last time, it wasn't that he would be needing it for much other than show. He had known how it would end for him as a clone, but even though he was a clone he couldn't help but be a bit scared of his fate. Many feared death, a good portion accepted death, few welcomed death, fewer still were willing to die as time demanded.

Shisui didn't fear death, at least not in the sense most did, he actually somewhat accepted the fact that he would die one day. It was what death would feel like that made him apprehensive, would it be painful or would it be like he was fading? Perhaps that was why shadow clones were forbidden.

Shadow clones were something quite odd, they were essentially the person that created them and they could transfer memories to their main body. Shisui had used the shadow clone a few times in his life, to scout or listen in on a conversation before letting it expel. He heard from the other ANBU that a clone dispelling and a clone being struck down felt a bit different. He never had a clone die, and he wondered if one of his clones were struck down if it would feel like dying. He wondered if his apprehension and feeling his future death would go back to Shisui.

The original plan wasn't meant to be this way, in fact it was supposed to be a clone that would "die", he would get no memory of what it felt like to die.

When Naruto approached him about faking his death, Shisui had been a bit skeptical. Firstly, he had no reason to off himself and no reason that he needed to disappear. Naruto had explained to him that he would simply need to make his family think he was dead. To do this they might want more than just Itachi witnessing his "death" by the Naka river, they would allow someone to tail them there and watch as the performance began. Itachi would be let in on what was going to happen and likewise play the part of the shocked younger cousin.

With Itachi and him as the performers and the audience quietly watching from the trees, they would see Shisui tell Itachi that he wanted the clan to be at peace with the village and that he was ashamed that the clan and family he loved would so easily turn on their allies. He would then say to Itachi, "there is a _root _to the problem we face and it is neither our clan nor our village. Be wary of the third player that hides in the shadows and wishes to win." Shisui rejected it for being too dramatic, Naruto had argued back that death scenes were _supposed_ to be dramatic and so the words stuck. Shisui would give Itachi his eyes which Itachi would squish after the clone threw himself over the side of the cliff.

Naruto explained that they would be fake eyes, of course, but they would not be illusions since the Uchiha were genjutsu freaks. One of the clones later explained and showed Shisui how they could make fake sharingan with the future bearer's chakra, a seal, and a stone or orb. The clone said it could really be any stone like substance and any size but the seal could not change the shape of a stone. Koji had said that it was Hajime would started working on the eye (whom of which Shisui had yet to meet) and it was Koji himself that completed the eye.

Shisui would be allowed to have his living status once again after the Child Snatcher-Grave Robber was dead.

It would have been the perfect plan if it were not for the fact his clan leaders were finished and were planning going to announce their uprising the next day. So Shisui changed the plan, there would be no performance, Itachi would be the only witness to his "death" (along with any Root Ninja tailing them), and Uchiha Shisui would stay dead.

The Shisui clone looked out his window towards the lowering sun, it was time to head out.

* * *

Naruto and Gaara were talking adamantly, well Naruto was talking while Gaara was listening and excitedly commenting. Both young boys were crossing the dunes of the land of wind with surprising speed, Temari and Hajime followed at a calmer rate.

"I can't believe Gaara has a literal castle made of sand," Temari said, eyes still wide.

"Multiple castles actually," Hajime corrected.

Temari shook her head in disbelief, "and that kid could make too many clones to be normal.

"He has a lot of chakra," Hajime explained.

"You will be living there from now on?" Temari asked, looking up at him.

"More or less, yes. I will simply need to decorate a bit and bring in food...and scrolls..."

"Oh," Temari replied, watching her little brother playfully racing the blonde boy.

"Will Naruto be staying?" Temari asked.

Hajime shook his head, "no, he will return home soon."

Temari watched the two playing, her brother the happiest she had ever seen him with a new friend and a fixed seal. She thought it would be good to thank the strange man and boy for their kindness to her brother.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" Temari asked, "I've never seen Gaara so happy before."

Hajime smiled down at her and replied, "we'd enjoy that. Thank you Temari-chan."

She smiled slightly in response, _'No, thank _you,_ Hajime-san for giving me a little brother.'_

* * *

Koji, Shiro, Anko, and the Shisui with one eye sat patiently within the trees surrounding the clearing Itachi would soon enter. The Shisui with both eyes was standing a short ways away from the river. Noriyuki and Mitsuo were back at the base, waiting to inform the others if they came back. Taku likely wouldn't, however the Naruto clone was probably ready for the break from Emiko's clothes shopping.

The group stilled as Itachi appeared in the clearing, "Shisui-nii, what did you need?"

Shisui let a small genjutsu over his healthy eye turn it into the bloodied sunken socket of the Shisui standing beside them. Turning half towards his younger cousin, Shisui said, "Let's talk, Itachi-kun."

"Hn," Itachi grunted and made to sit beside the older Uchiha.

"So that's where Sasuke got it from," Shiro grumbled quietly, "or is it an Uchiha thing?"

"It's a clan thing," Shisui whispered, "typically passed down from the parents who don't know the sophistication of communication...or it becomes something of a bad tick."

"That sadly makes sense," Koji murmured, "it would explain why-"

"We are very small, don't you think? Us, our clan, the village, we're all so small. Small stones in the ocean," the Shisui next to Itachi said, interrupting the small discussion across the river.

"What is he saying?" Shiro hissed.

"This isn't part of the script," the Shisui within the group said, "it's...those words...those words are some of my inner most thoughts. Thought that I had this within this week."

The group turned back to the two Uchiha sitting by the bank of deadly river.

That Shisui was fingering a small stone, "-one that doesn't take any acknowledgment for himself, one that lives in the shadows and never exists-"

"It looks like he's sticking to the fake Sharingan part of the plan," Koji observed, "though his words are a bit different. This should work out alright."

"If he isn't sticking to the script though, how will we time the switch?" Shisui, the one beside them, asked.

"Will he even kill himself?" Anko asked.

"-You have and will continue to surpass me in this, however...Itachi-kun, a small stone cannot withstand a river forever. It wears away the edges and takes away from the rock bit by bit until it becomes a grain of sand. If the pebble had been with other pebbles to share the burden of the river then it would have lasted longer-"

"This is sounding more and more like a goodbye, I think he's going to kill himself," Shiro said.

"You have shouldered it enough times, this time I will take the burden for you; you won't have to be responsible for this one, Itachi."

"That was definitely my goodbye," the Shisui clone said, "I'll get ready to kawarimi with him, I'll let him say his words and-"

A squelch from the real Shisui drove everyone's attention to him, whose blood laden fingers dug behind his eye while the other hand dropped the small river stone. Itachi was frozen and stiffly watched his cousin pull out his own eye.

"...he dropped the rock, that's his real eye! Switch _now_," Shiro hissed to the shocked clone who nodded and swapped with the retreating Shisui. Itachi too focused on the organ in his hand.

The cloned Shisui stumbled a bit towards the water's edge, letting a genjutsu make it appear his remaining eye was missing.

Shiro and Anko covered the real Shisui's mouth as he tried to protest while Koji was forcefully channeling Shisui's chakra into a fake Sharingan, he would switch it out with the real one if he could...if not then Shisui would have to wear it.

"You're the biggest idiot I have ever met," Anko growled.

"Hmph?!"

Itachi was staring at the clone with wide eyes, bleeding red as the horror of the situation overcame him.

"Death by water fits my name, don't you think?" the clone thought out loud, it was ironic he thought that he was named "Shisui" which could be translated to death by water. He wondered if his parents knew that he would die this way when he was born. Though that was highly unlikely.

The clone was not necessarily scared of death, but he wondered if it would hurt or scare the original when memories transferred back. Then again, he didn't even know if it would transfer. That was the thing with renewing a clone like him, it was a temporary fix, supposed to last long enough for him to dispel himself. His mind though was very jumbled. He knew certain things that were Naruto, he knew all things that were Shisui, and strangely he knew things Anko. He (the Shisui part of him at least) was very pleased to find out that she found him attractive, the Anko part was mortified to find out that it would be semi-shared with him, and the Naruto part was immensely smug in his accidental matchmaking skills. His words way of thinking would be a bit off to the original Shisui with so many people going into his mind, it was the clones after all that created him. However one thing all parts agreed upon was that he was tragically repeating the history, his clan would not listen to the poor boy behind him and would be suspicious of him until they died, however it would not be by Itachi's hand if he could help it. He decided to voice this, "The clan will not believe you, of course. Stubborn brats. Though it'll be resolved, so don't worry about it."

Itachi stood up, red eyes filled with worry, "Shisui, you don't have to-"

"Foolish little cousin," the clone smiled over at Itachi something that was oddly reminiscent of his time with his cousin Obito. What the clone said next was a combination of Shisui and Naruto, "a true ninja doesn't exist or take any credit for themselves, ne?"

The clone started flashing though what would have been a suicide technique, courtesy for any unwanted shadow guests he might be unaware of. With that in place he hurled his body over the side of the river, Itachi rushing to the edge of the water in panic.

"Shi-Shisui?" Itachi called quietly down the dark water's edge, bleeding eyes roving the foamy water helplessly.

The group jolted when the memories from the clone's death returned to them.

"Ugh," Anko grunted, "remind me to never use that technique to die."

Shiro shuddered, "that supposed suicide technique is really slow, who makes slow death techniques?"

"It was a technique that was supposed to allow the user to reverse the effect," Koji said.

The real Shisui was vomiting violently behind the bushes.

"Well that was vile," Anko said, "and did we all get those memories?"

"By the looks of it, yes, though Shisui seems to have it the worse. Usually our boss would have it the worse since he created the clone, however since we clones are divided up, the feeling is also divided among us," Koji explained.

"Wait, wasn't that clone originally your boss's?" Anko asked.

"No," Koji said, "it was our's. Made by us and for us to use."

"Isn't your chakra the same as your boss's?" Akno asked, "so wouldn't the memories still go to him?"

Shiro and Koji looked at each other, "...oh no."

* * *

Naruto was sitting around the table, enjoying the family meal with his future Suna friends. However the pleasant mood was never meant to last as it was disrupted by a sudden onslaught of memories.

"GYAA!" Naruto yelled as he fell from his chair.

"Naruto-kun," Temari said in worry.

"Ah man, Hajime, did you get that too?" Naruto asked, sitting up and rubbing his head.

"Yes, unfortunately it seems that something did in fact go wrong," Hajime sighed, "your bags are already packed, you better get running."

Naruto sighed and bowed to his newfound old friends, "looks like I need to go home, thank you for the meal. I'll see you again someday!"

Straitening from his own chair, Hajime said, "let's meet again sometime. Thank you again for your hospitality."

As the two blondes left, the sand siblings could hear Naruto grouching to the older, "I even said I felt like something was going to happen, and guess what? Something happened! I should have returned home earlier... stupid self-sacrificing Uchiha and their stupid elders... stupid manipulative elders..."

* * *

Omake

Someone is Talking About You if You Sneeze

Lee and Gai's Expresso Training:

"GAI-SENSEI!" Lee yelled excitedly, legs speeding faster than anyone would think possible for the little boy.

"LEE!" Gai greeted back with gusto, "What brings you to my home so early? It's only one in the morning?"

"I have found a youthful store that sells the most youthful elixirs of spring!" Lee exclaimed, bouncing excitedly and holding up a cup proudly, "the beautiful blossom that sells these youthful drinks says that it will give you energy when you are feeling extremely unyouthful in the morning!"

"Oh! What is it called?" Gai asked.

"Expresso!" Lee exclaimed and handed the drink to Gai before bouncing away.

Gai took a sip of the drink and gasped in delight, "so youthfully bitter, yet sweet!"

Fairly soon Gai began noticing that his once sleepy mind and dragging limbs were filled with youthful energy.

"We can go training for DAYS!" Gai declared.

"YAY! TRAINING FOR DAYS!" Lee exclaimed excitedly.

"YOUTHFUL EXPRESSO!" Gai exclaimed back.

"EXPRESSO TRAINING!" Lee shouted.

Both teacher and student suddenly sneezed.

Kakashi peeked out his window with a decidedly evil smile, "...just wait for the crash afterward...it will all be worth it..."

Obito Learns to Time Travel:

"Ha! Hahaha! HAHAHA!" Obito laughed happily, "I did it~ I did it! I successfully did it! I successfully time traveled to a place I _wanted _to go. Look Orochimaru! I did it! Achoo!"

"Yes I can see that, I have perfectly fine eyesight you know Obito-kun," Orochimaru said without looking up from the mixing bowl he was adding vanilla to, glancing over to an ancient looking cookbook he frowned,"of foo...molasses got on the recipe. Is that... Now is that two teaspoons or three?"

"Ah, come on Orochimaru, not even a hello?" Obito whined.

"Hello Obito-kun," Orochimaru replied, trying to scrape off the stick substance with his nail, "hm, I'll just put three. Now where did I put that- ah! Here it is."

Obito huffed and sat on one of the stools along the counter and propped his head on one of his hands, "So, what are you making?"

"Food," Orochimaru said, scooping sugar out of a small bin.

Obito rolled his eyes, "Well duh, but why desserts? You said you hated that stuff."

"I'm expecting company later today, so I expect you to leave by then if you actually have control of these random timetraveling moments like you say you do."

"...it's still a little iffy?"

Orochimaru sighed.

"But really? Company? Who?" Obito asked excitedly, "will I get to meet them?"

"They are no one you know, as for whether or not you will get to meet them depends on whether or not you are any good at stuffing a bird."

"A heck nah! I don't time travel to be your chef," Obito said, crossing his arms.

"You mean you don't mean to time travel at all, either stuff the thing or you're sleeping in that park again."

"Five hundred years really did change you."

"Six hundred and twenty, now start stuffing."

"Okay! Okay! Cranky old man..." Obito grumbled, stuffing his hand within the large bird, "what kind of bird is this big anyway, it's massive."

"That is a mega-chicken, Obito-kun," Orochimaru said, pouring corn syrup into the bowl.

Obito eyed the desk sized bird skeptically, "so...who's coming over?"

"My twenty fourth generation grandchild," Orochimaru said.

"This is _not _a chicken-" Obtio froze, "wait what?!"

Tsunade Wins:

"Shizune!" Tsunade yelled in panic, "get in here!"

"What is wrong?" Shizune asked, holding Tonton.

Tsunade bowed her head gravely, "...I won the lottery."

Shizune ran out the room exclaiming, "THIS IS A CODE WIN! A CODE WIN!"

Tsunade covered a sneeze and stood with flourish, walking to the window with concern she gazed upon her village, "what will the world throw at us today?"

"GET THE CIVILIANS INTO THE BUNKERS, EVACUATE THE STUDENTS AND INFORM ALL JOUNIN SENSEI THAT THEIR GENIN ARE NEEDED TO CLEAR OUT THE HOSPITALS! I REPEAT; THIS IS A CODE WIN!"

Two hours later, Pein crushed where all Konoha citizens and Shinobi were supposed to be. There were zero casualties.

Hidan's Kawaii Complex:

Hidan was holding two figurines and spinning around with genjutsu flowers in the air, "Waa~ So cute~ Ne, ne, Kakuzu, which is cuter?"

Kakuzu sighed and looked up at his partner, Hidan got like this ever time he allowed him to buy one of those...things. Be it a plastic statue, a new anime, a plush, a manga, a key chain, or whatever cheap merchandise caught the boy's fancy...it turned his blood craving partner into this terrifying being.

Hidan shoved the two plastic statues in Kakuzu's face, holding one closer he asked, "Do you like the Innocent Cute Maid?"

Kakuzu's eyes crossed when the second figure too its place, "or do you like the Feisty Magic Girl?"

Kakuzu leaned back and shoved the figurines out of his face.

Hidan gasped, "or...could it be you prefer..."

Kakuzu watched Hidan reach into his coat to grab a shoujo manga, flipping through the pages he presented it to Kakuzu, "or do you prefer the Lolita Type?"

Kakuzu frowned and turned away, "no, Hidan."

Hidan frowned, "well, then, which type do you like the best?"

If Kakuzu wasn't wearing his mask, his on coming blush would be as plane as day, "...Neko Girls...in sailor outfits..."

Hidan gapped before smiling and brandishing another shoujo manga, "like her? Moe~ ACHIIECK!"

Kakuzu frowned at his partner, "cover you disgusting nose, I could _feel _that one on my neck."

**Esparia: What was that omake...that one got out of hand...But eh, there ya go, eight thousand words counting the omake. Longest chapter considering the rest have been about a third of the size. I'm so burnt out.**

**You know what I hate about auto-correct? It messes things up and turns on by itself. **

**You know what I love about auto-correct? It makes things wonderfully weird. It will change Anko to "Khan", Shizune to "Sunshine", Sasuke to "Sapsucker", Shisui to "Sushi", Gai to "Fair-maiden", and Madara to "Maria". Sometimes the mental images that follow are just to beautiful to hate.**

**Example:**

"**I'm sorry, Fair-maiden," Khan said, "I'm already going out with Sushi."**

"**You'll never get away with this, Maria!" Sapsucker declared with hate, his Shanghai spinning with three tombs threateningly.**

"**Sunshine!" Sunshade yelled, "Pontoon is eating my finished work pile again!'**

**(Shanghai is supposed to be Sharingan, Tombs is supposed to be Tomoe, Sundshade is supposed to be Tsunade, and Pontoon is supposed to be Tonton.)**


	27. Chapter 26

**Esparia: *stumbles into desk chair* Ehehehe, finished. Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and a Happy New Year. *looks at the AN space* I've deleted three rants from this. A Merry Chaos rant, a Food rant, and a Writer's Block Due to a Sing Yoda in My Head rant. Hm, I'm not efficient during "vacation". Then again...*looks over calendar AKA The Schedule of Life* ...that was not my fault this time. But hey, it's a big chapter like the one before.**

**Disclaimer:**** ...this is getting redundant. Esparia no own Naruto. Esparia's art looks different than anything found in the **

**Esparia: Oh yes, there has been some confusion with Naruto's clones. I intended for the reader to slowly become familiar with them...but thus far it seems that it's been a bit too hard. But anyway, what do you guys think of a "Time Clone Cheat Key" at the bottom of all the updates? I'll make a poll, and those who are guests, leave a comment at the bottom. (options are: A) No Cheat Key. B) Cheat Key every update. C) A Cheat Key on a single update.)**

* * *

Chapter 26

_December 14th, 18th year of the 1st Timeline,_

_Naruto sat with Sasuke as Sai cooked the rice over the fire._

"_It's been a long war," Naruto sighed, "I can't wait for it to end."_

"_Hn."_

"_Once this is all over, we will bury the dead. Let everyone grieve and stuff."_

"_Hn."_

"_We will be able to add all the heros to the stone Kakashi always looked at."_

"_Hn."_

"_We will add _all_ of them, like the once nuke-nins, the shinobi, the civilians that did their best. Ah, and your brother will be there to of course."_

"_...hn."_

_Sai looked over at the two, scooping rice into bowels._

_Naruto looked over to Sasuke, "we can have his body buried in Konoha, if you'd like, Sasuke."_

"_..."_

_Sai handed the two their rice, both nodding in thanks and saying, "Itadakimasu."_

_Naruto looked over to the quiet Uchiha, and without thinking anything of it, asked, "did you grieve your brother's death?"_

* * *

Itachi had sat beside beside the cliff after Shisui's chakra disappeared, his spinning red eyes traced with drying blood stared blankly where his cousin had just stood.

The river's roar was mute to the boy's ears, the shock of watching his closest friend and family member fall while performing a body deterioration technique was horrifying. He had not expected Shisui to go through something like that, it wasn't what he thought his cousin was planning.

Itachi looked down at the bloody orb in his hand, Shisui's eye, he knew, would have to be protected. Although he doubted that Shisui's sharingan would be safe from Danzo, even Shisui must have known that if he went so far as to kill himself. Itachi would have to seal it away, but even seals can be broken and Itachi was no sealing expert.

Itachi looked back up to the edge, he would have to tell the clan that Shisui was dead.

Touching the wet trail from his eye, he listlessly stared at the blood. Ah, so he got the mangekyo.

Itachi glanced back down at the eye in his hand, an idea springing to mind. Shisui was the holder of the crow summonings, if Itachi signed a contract with them as well, then perhaps they would honor their previous summoner and hide the eye away in their realm. It would be impossible for Danzo to steal something that was not within his reach, though if the man ever learned of where it was stored he might very well kill Itachi to sign the scroll. In that case, he would come up with another plan; but for now, his plan to sign off with the crows would be enough.

Itachi decided to go to Shisui's house first. There he would summon the crows and forge a suicide note for his cousin. Then he would tell the clan.

* * *

The group of odd ninja (clones of a time traveler, a supposed dead man, and a T&amp;I apprentice that's dating the supposed dead man) were sitting in the man cave's balcony lounge.

Anko was eyeing the room with a bit of confusion, really when she agreed to reset the clone she was not expecting to end up where she did. With a week's memory of her boyfriend's thoughts about herself, plotting against a prestigious clan's elders, sworn to secrecy via contract, the new subordinate of a six year old because of the memory leak, and stuck in a newly refurbished underground seal testing facility because the government is a safety hazard to everyone's lives. Not how she planned to spend the day at all.

"So," Koji, climbing the stairs to the balcony, said, "I think it's safe to say that we are going to get an earful when the boss gets home."

Koji, Anko learned, was a fun loving twenty-three year old that would be willing to set aside his childishness for the good of the others. He also the clone of Uzumaki Naruto. It wasn't hard for Anko to figure out that the short, loud, and annoying blonde jinchuriki was a time traveler. Though it was a bit odd and hard to comprehend, though not as hard once they removed their henge. Really the fact that he split up his life by "timelines" was a bit concerning, psychologically speaking. She wondered if it was a way of distancing himself from painful things or if the boy- man... simply couldn't handle the strain of so many different "worlds" that he developed a backwards multiple personality disorder.

Shiro bobbed his head, "Naruto is going to be upset with us. But, I think he's going to be more upset with Shisui..."

Shiro was a bit strange to Anko, the sixteen year old seemed to contradict himself often and had an almost unnoticeable tic of looking over his shoulder before speaking. The clone wasn't Naruto for very long, and for the short amount of time it was, he didn't think much on his past. The most thought of was perhaps Noriyuki's and Taku's, which were the most recent timelines. Shiro's timeline was barely thought of other than something about the yakuza and general civilian criminal underworld's hierarchy. She'd need to ask one of them about that.

"Why?" Shisui asked.

Shisui was seated to the right of Anko, her stupid boyfriend cautiously scratching under the white bandages that covered his eye. Apparently the clone, nicknamed Koji, with his sealing prowess, created a functional fake eye that actually had the capacity to wield a sharingan. The imitation dojutsu was supposedly weaker than the actual thing, but in her opinion, it was still a ridiculously over powered fake eye. Uzumaki seals were a frightening thing indeed.

"Shisui-san," Noriyuki said, "you lost an eye to Jerk-sama, and you're dead..."

"Ah, yes, that..." Shisui fiddled a bit with the bandage around his eye, "well, I'll get there when I get there. Anyway, I have a plan I will be doing soon. It seems the coup d'etat is going to be happening soon. So I planned on getting rid of the instigators while I was a ghost. Whether through the sharingan or through the sword, I will remove the imminent civil war."

"You wish to eradicate part of the threat from your family before your cousin is ordered to do so," Koji stated to which Shisui merely nodded.

Koji hummed a bit in thought before saying, "You can't use your fake eye yet, it's still adjusting to your empty eye socket and if you use it while your body is getting used to it, you might fry the nerves and chakra paths to where your fake eye is. Effectively ruining any chance of seeing out of that fake eye. So, what's your plan with that in mind?"

"Simple, I'll sneak in tonight and poison their tea," Shisui said, "or more specifically, I'll shunshin in, poison the rims of their cups and the tips of their chopsticks, and then shunshin out."

The Naruto clones blinked in unison.

"It's like listening to Taku," Shiro muttered.

"Death is ugly," Noriyuki said.

"Poison a _girl_'s murder device," Mitsuo commented.

"He is an ANBU, not that surprising that he'd chose such a clean method," Koji murmured to Mitsuo and himself.

"Can't Ibiki-san track poisons?" the Naruto representative asked, "won't he know that it is from Konoha?"

Anko tilted her head, "not unless Shisui-rei here uses a poison from another source."

Koji shifted his weight uncomfortably, "we can...provide such things."

Mitsuo nodded, "I'll make it, just bring me the things."

Shiro turned to Mitsuo, "why should you be the one to make the poison?"

Mitsuo glared, "because I know the most about it."

"Nuh-uh, we're the same person, so the boss knows the most," Shiro said, pulling his eyelid down, "snake food."

"_Juvenile_," Mituso hissed.

Anko watched as the clones' fight escalated, out of the corner of her eye she eyed Shisui's reaction to their display. She found him conversing lightly with Koji about the merits of a tanto verses a wakizashi. Noriyuki throwing in his two cents by saying that a par of sai were best.

Anko looked to the two fighting to the small group discussing weapons, she said, "Senbon, my dear gentlemen, are the best."

Thus, Anko was unofficially admitted into the growing top secret, super exclusive club of ninja-zombi, bunny queen, ancient plant man, psycho serial killer defeating gang of awesome world saving powerhouses.

* * *

Danzo was a decidedly happy man, well, as happy as a person like him could get. He had Uchiha Shisui's eye. Now normally that would be somewhat revolting and disturbing to be in possession of, Uchiha Itachi could attest to this, however Danzo had wanted a sharingan for quite some time now and Shisui's sharingan just so happened to be the best available one around.

So what was he doing with the oh so powerful eye? Playing with it of course. Well, if you considered genjutsu-influencing some socially and politically powerful elders to be "playing". This genjutsu would normally also blind the man's newly acquired sharingan, but he had loop hole options available to him. Danzo was not a stupid man and contrary to popular belief, he did think things through before doing them. For instance, the other sharingan he _borrowed _from the Uchiha cemetery were his failsafe. Should the genjutsu backfire on him, the extra sharingan would take the backlash. Danzo did his research.

"Is this plan agreeable," Danzo stated more than asked Hiruzen's teammates.

"Yes," Homura said, the old man agreed, "this seems like a good solution to the problem at hand."

Koharu nodded a bit, "while I respect Hiruzen-kun, I agree that his lack of action has greatly endangered Konoha. Are you quite sure that Itachi-kun will follow through with doing such a thing to his family."

Homura inclined his head to his female teammate, "Is he trustworthy to put Konoha before his clan?"

"He is," Danzo said, "should he not do as instructed I will use a back up plan I have ready."

"Very well," Koharu said, "inform the boy of his mission. We will be taking our leave now."

Koharu and Homura left Danzo by himself in the room they met in. Danzo stayed there for a few minutes before calling into the empty room, "retrieve Uchiha Itachi."

A quiet, nearly inaudible swish was the only indication that there was someone other than Danzo in the room.

* * *

Naruto plopped to the ground in frustration, he had gotten lost. He wasn't _lost_ lost, he knew the general area of where he was, in fact he recognized the place he was. However, it was a matter of figuring out how to get from where he was to where he needed to get without going his regular routes that typically had patrols watching the area. It was common sense to take such routes when journeying from the other countries, a informal checkpoint one could say. As a ninja, you'd want to have these checkpoints with your village in the case that you don't return on time. Even the ANBU would cross paths with other patrols of ANBU or the occasional chunin squad, depending on the mission.

Now normally, he would be able to make an educated guess of where the patrols were and avoid them when necessary. However, with his thinking level being that of a six year old, his logic was impaired. He had left Hajime to the planning on their way to Suna.

He could chance it, but on the chance that he is seen by a patrol, well, it wouldn't be a pretty ending. Jinchuriki just can't go wandering far into the forest, it's simply not done. Unless you're Gaara, then you can wander into the desert to your heart's content. He would henge, if he could pull of something believable. Strangely enough, six-year-olds without adult supervision were uncommon to be found wandering in the middle of the forest. His henge was...adequate. Yes, he could change the basics of his appearance, reorganize his facial structure, change his coloring, change the patterns on his clothes, and the like. He could even muster enough control to actually change his body mass, size, gender, and species if he was really pushed to it. It was somewhat limited since his control was still a bit weak in comparison to when he was an adult. What was really the problem was changing his voice to that of whoever he was pretending to be.

Naruto had been neglecting that part of his henge-structural control for a while now. The voice box was a tricky thing to actually change; where as most ninja simply use a genjutsu, Naruto would actually change his voice to imitate the person. That was the beauty of Naruto's henge, it was an actual manipulation of the body instead of a genjutsu that any ninja worth their salt could pick up on. He was no amateur in the classic henge, so it was harder to pick up on. However patrol teams are constantly looking for genjutsu, so the classic henge was a no go.

Should the patrol team run across an adult that supposedly couldn't speak (since he would sound like a kid if he did) then suspicion would be the automatic response and it would be "good bye, seventh time line" and "hello, eighth time line". Even as a civilian he'd be held under scrutiny.

Naruto sighed, it would take longer, but if he traveled the trade routes than maybe he could join a merchant caravan. Something of the sort, at least. He figured that his clones had messed up enough that they couldn't possibly mess up any more. Taking the longer route wouldn't be so horrible, it was safer anyway.

With that half baked plan in mind, Naruto headed for the trading road.

* * *

Itachi had done what he had sought out to do. The crows had agreed to his idea after a long discussion between them. Itachi didn't know what they were saying but after awhile they had accepted him as a summoner and would hide away the eye.

He had informed his clan of Shisui's suicide, it hadn't gone the way he had pictured but exactly the way Shisui had predicted. He was blamed for his cousin's death and being already under the watchful eye of his clan, they now regarded him as something akin a traitor. It was an unpleasant feeling, to say the least.

Afterward, while he was alone, he had been summoned by Danzo. Itachi didn't know what to think of it, he had been summoned not so long ago. The man had also taken Shisui's eye.

The conversation that followed was not the most comforting of things. The man had given him an optional mission that would inevitably end his clan. He would carry out the mission in three days, he just needed to mentally prepare. To plan. To be with Sasuke, just for a little while.

* * *

Anko looked over the shoulder of Mitsuo, watching him create an unknown poison out of who knows what. This was his fifth poison while Shiro was making some other poisons and a few antidotes, just in case. Shisui was resting in the other room, so she was a bit bored but not so bored as to leave the hideaway.

"So," Anko said, "what does this one do?"

"Makes the person drowsy, then paralyzes the muscles," Mitsuo said flatly.

"What good will freezing the guy do?" Anko asked, "we need 'em dead."

Mitsuo glared over his shoulder, "might I remind you that the heart is a muscle?"

"Oh," Anko muttered.

"Hmph," Mitsuo grunted, continuing to work on his poisons.

"You're sounding more and more like an Uchiha everyday!" Shiro called over.

Mitsuo glared at Shiro and fired back an angry, "and you're acting more and more like deranged chunin-chan everyday!"

"Can we not speak of that?" Koji asked.

Anko turned to Koji, leaving the cranky duo to fight it out, "why? What happened?"

"...mission gone wrong," Koji muttered, "rather not talk about it."

"This lady thought _he_," Shiro nodded to Koji, "was an Uchiha and tried blowing him up for-"

Mitsuo slapped a hand over Shiro's mouth, "classified."

Anko raised an eyebrow and turned to Koji, whom was sharpening a kunai set. Koji looked at her and repeated, "classified."

Anko groaned, having heard that word quite a few times within her time of staying there, "I'm already signed under your silencing seal, why can't I learn anything?"

"Because the less Anko-san knows, the safer she is," Noriyuki said, nodding sagely.

"Exactly like the kid said," Koji said, "while you could say you're already in danger, you are in less danger than Shisui or we are."

"I could help you guys, I'm part of the Torture and Interrogation field, if I know what to look for I could inform you about it," Anko said, "information is life."

"Information is also death," Mitsuo hissed, "too much of it and the wrong people will be after you. Shisui is a perfect example of this."

"But...that's cause Shisui-san had a special eye," Noriyuki interjected.

"Fine, Sakumo then. He was an example of exactly what we mean," Mitsuo said, "look at him now, dead as a doornail."

"I thought Hatake Sakumo committed suicide," Anko said.

Shiro looked at Anko then smacked Mitsuo upside the head, "blabber mouth here needs to learn to close his trap about his _speculations_."

"Hmph!" Mitsuo huffed and turned back to his poisons.

"Uchiha," Shiro said and turned back to his antidote.

Anko turned to Koji, "he did commit suicide, right?"

Koji shrugged, "you'd have to ask him."

Anko stared and slowly asked, "what is that supposed to mean?"

"Meaning we don't know for sure, his death was strange yet not at the same time. While it makes sense that he'd become depressed over the loss of his place in his 'pack', Konoha, and he had been terribly disgraced in the eyes of Konoha; Hatake aren't so different from the Inuzuka in the sense that pack or family are the centers of their lives, take it away and they break. He should have still felt some sense of belonging with his son, Kakashi. Seppuku is more of a samurai ritual anyway, while you could argue and say that he did indeed hold morals akin to the honorable samurai, Hatake Sakumo was a ninja," Koji said with a shrug.

Anko leaned back in thought, "so what you're saying..."

Koji nodded, "Being a ninja or a spy of any sort, let alone a highly influential and good one such as him, would make a supposedly natural or accidental death questionable and suspicious."

"A murder?" Anko asked in shock.

"Hm, more like a tsumebara, a forced seppuku," Koji said.

"I've seen the photos, though," Anko said, "there was no sign of a struggle."

Koji raised an eyebrow, "why were you looking at Sakumo's death pictures?"

"I was reorganizing the information cabinet, the intern before me did a terrible job," Anko said, brushing it off, "no sign of struggle, what about that?"

"We're ninja, Anko, we make things look like suicides and accidents all the time," Koji said, "besides, there are plenty of jutsu that can force a person to do things they normally wouldn't do."

"I suppose," Anko murmured to herself, wondering just what could make someone want to kill Hatake Sakumo.

"Granted," Koji said, interrupting her thoughts, "this is all hypothetically speaking in the event that Sakumo _was _murdered. The only way we could know that for sure, since the evidence is long gone, would be to ask Sakumo himself."

Anko frowned, "why do you keep saying that?"

Koji hummed, "what?"

"Why do you keep saying that we'd have to ask Sakumo, a deadman tells no tales," Anko said.

Koji and the other clones laughed, Mitsuo shook his head, "it's more of a matter of if the deadman stays dead."

The other clones chuckled in agreement. Anko just stared, wondering what she was missing.

* * *

Naruto was walking through the trees along the side of the road in a henge, scanning his surroundings for any sign of danger.

He had chosen a fairly simple look, blackish hair, cobalt eyes, average height of a seventeen year old, a standard clothes with a gray color theme. It was an older henge he made sometime during Hajime's life, named Reiji. He had used him a few times in the land of lightning.

Hearing a commotion ahead, Naruto took to the trees. Bounding silently through the branches he came across a small wagon and a merchant family being mugged by a band of bandits.

Naruto looked around to see if any Konoha ninja were around to help. Seeing none he made a few shadow clones and jumped down.

The bandits noticed him and his clones, a few took of towards the woods while the others stayed to fight. The ones that stayed were quickly knocked out and tied to the surrounding trees. It was such a pitifully one-sided battle that it would be embarrassing for both parties if the writer recounted the events. That being said, the ones that ran for the woods were followed by a few shadow clones and given a "therapy session" about life choices and better ways to handle village bankruptcy than reenacting Robin Hood.

Naruto turned to the merchant family that he just saved, he waved slightly to the gaping trio.

"Thank you very much, young man," the mother said, her children nodded in agreement.

Naruto shrugged with a smile, not wanting to talk since a childish voice would surely come out.

"Hey mister," one of the children, a young boy no older than eight, said, "are you a ninja?"

Naruto bobbed his head in confirmation.

The child turned to his mother, "he could protect us 'til we get to Konoha, right Haha?"

The woman smiled lightly, "he's probably busy, Shinji."

Naruto shook his head, waved his hands, and smiled; trying to indicate that he could escort them to Konoha. It would be a good alibi at the very least.

"Why aren't you talking?" Shinji, the boy, asked.

Naruto pointed to his mouth and shook his head.

"You can't talk?" the boy guessed.

_'More like I'm not supposed to,' _Naruto thought, making his hands do a so-so motion.

"Ah, can you write?" Shinji asked excitedly.

Naruto nodded, a bit confused at the boy's question. He became less confused when the boy ran to his mother's wagon and pulled out a slate and chalk.

"What's your name?" Shinji asked, bouncing up to Naruto and handing him the slate and chalk, leaning in toward Naruto he whispered, "just write it in hiragana...I'm not so good at kanji yet."

Naruto grinned and nodded before writing, "my name is Reiji, nice to meet you Shinji-kun."

* * *

The sun had already fallen by the time Itachi was returning home, his mind cleared from the conversation he had with the elder. Glancing at the sky, he decided that he could probably make it in time to tuck Sasuke in bed if he quickened his pace.

Hiruzen, according to Danzo, had ordered him to rid of the threat from his clan by the end of the week. It seemed too early, but then again, it would always be too early for him.

The only thing pertaining to his mission he was worried about, was whether or not he could actually complete it. Should he fail to carry out his end of the mission, he had no doubt that Danzo would finish it for him. Finish the mission, along with his little brother. Danzo was a dangerous man, he didn't need a very large imagination to think of all the possible things that could go wrong if he failed. Danzo could take his brother, Sasuke could simply die, his sacrifice could be all in vain. Itachi _had _to complete this mission, else his little brother would undoubtably suffer the consequences for his failure if not the rest of Konoha.

Itachi clenched his fingers lightly, he wished more than anything that he didn't have to do what he was about to do. He wished that he wouldn't have to hurt Sasuke, that he didn't have to kill his mother and father. That he didn't have to leave Konoha, his home, his center place. He _wished _that Shisui was alive...that his older cousin could help him. He wished, and that was something a shinobi must never do.

A shinobi must never wish for the impossible and the "what ifs" of life else they would be sure to break. Wishes were for children, civilians, and the regretful. Wishes didn't stop missions. Wishes didn't stop pain and suffering. Wishes didn't bring the dead back to life. Itachi stopped wishing a long time ago, but every now and then...he'd have a thought betray him, he'd have a wish. A wish only came true by the actions of someone.

Itachi refused wishes and made them goals, well...the wishes that were possible. He wished for Sasuke to be safe, so he would take action and _make sure_ that Sasuke was safe. He couldn't do anything to stop his parents from dying, he tried already to prevent it. He couldn't do anything to bring Shisui back, that was out of the realm of human possibility. He would let Shisui live in his memories and his actions. He would honor his cousin's sacrifice and let the future of the Uchiha live in his cousin's place.

But somehow...he still wished his cousin could help him this one time.

A dark figure jumped down beside him, making the young Uchiha pull out a kunai and prepare for a fight.

"Ah, calm down, Itachi-kun," the figure said, "I have, hm, an offer to make."

* * *

Shisui pulled the straps on his vest a little tighter, he was gearing up to be ready to infiltrate his clan compound. It was agreed upon that he wouldn't be seen by the others and that he couldn't return to the hideaway in case the ANBU found his tracks and followed him back to Naruto's hideout. If that did happen, ANBU would be the least of Shisui's problems.

That was why it was decided that he would go to Suna where he would meet up with Hajime and take temporary residence there.

Itachi would hopefully not be blamed for the sudden deaths of certain clan members though it was probable that the poor boy was going to be blamed for their deaths due to resent suspicion. However even if Itachi was blamed and ended up joining the Akatsuki, he wouldn't be burdened by the stress of having killed his family. This alone should be able to help the boy later on.

With that in mind, Shisui shunshined to the Uchiha compound.

* * *

Ibiki was having one of _those _days.

Piles upon piles of paperwork, with no end in sight; the little intern, Anko, having disappeared to shirk off paper duty.

Now Ibiki was stuck with the endless paperwork that needed to be done by the end of the day... why couldn't Kumo attack, at least then he would have an excuse as to why these papers weren't done. But of course though, why would Kumo attack? Why wouldn't some mad S-Rank ninja come and try to destroy something? Why wouldn't a perfectly loyal ninja suddenly go rouge? Why couldn't something happen so that _he _didn't have to do _this_ stuff? Stuff that the interns were _supposed_ to be doing.

Ibiki mentally slammed his head against the desk, since, if he actually did as such, he'd get blood all over the work he finished and he was _not _going to redo his hard work. He learned that lesson from the Sandaime himself, the man wasn't called the Professor for nothing. Though it wasn't like the sandaime was actively teaching at the time. Poor man soiled two stacks of finished work and was admitted into the hospital for hemorrhage in the frontal lobe...and a broken nose.

Let it not be said that Ibiki never learned other's mistakes.

* * *

Naruto sat beside the young boy, listening as he told story after story about his adventures in Fire country.

It was nice to listen to an innocent kid talk about the vast world and his heroic adventures in it. Naruto wasn't a pessimist, but he certainly didn't hold the world with the eyes of a person who had yet to see its horrors. It was nice, to listen to someone still think of heros as heros and believe that heros could do everything.

Naruto was no hero, he had been called one in the past many times. Defeating S-Rank nuke-nin, saving Konoha, saving other villages or a life. He was not a hero though. He couldn't consider himself one. He had failed to many times and done too many terrible things for him to think of himself as anything close to that of a hero. He had murdered, he had lied, he had cheated, and by the end of the day he could not quite bring himself to think that a true hero would do such things. Sure he technically had yet to do anything of the sort in this timeline, but for himself he was already a ninja. The most unpredictable and optimistic ninja, yes, but a ninja nonetheless along with everything else that was attached to that title.

Turning his eyes to the flickering campfire, he thought of young Itachi waiting in Konoha that had just lost his friend and brother. Itachi in the past had been more than a killer for his home. The boy, a _pacifist_, had killed his family. Which he would have to do if Naruto didn't think of something quickly. He couldn't prevent the massacre in the past, but maybe with the help of his older (in appearance) selves, they could pull something off.

A pacifist. Naruto didn't know that Uchiha Itachi was one until around the fourth timeline, and even then he had to look in the dictionary as to what exactly a pacifist was. Pacifist: a person who believes that war and violence are unjustifiable. Unjustifiable, unforgivable. Meaning that the Itachi he knows even now doesn't think that anything he has done or will do will ever be forgivable. That amount of self loathing couldn't have been good, it would break such a person to have to choose who to kill or hurt. It would break a person like Itachi to kill his family, he wasn't surprised that Itachi ended up suicidal.

He once got Sasuke to open up about what he thought after killing his brother, he hadn't pried but he thought that it was something that Sasuke needed to get off his chest. He had asked Sasuke if he had grieved his brother after he killed him. He hadn't expected much other than maybe a "hn" or a "yes/no". Instead Sasuke had stilled, head bowed, and said, _"Mourning, would be more accurate. If you ever kill someone you thought had already died but was actually alive, if you ever become the instrument of death for a loved one's suicide. Then you will find, Naruto, that grief and regret will never leave."_

Naruto needed to get to Konoha, and stop the massacre and coup from happening.

* * *

Itachi was rather restless and having a difficult time falling asleep. Normally he would go and read something, repack his bag, sharpen his weapons, or something of the sort. He had already done those things and so he opted to stargaze, which was why he was now sitting on the roof looking at a _cloudy _night sky.

His conversation with, whom he could only guess was, Madara had gone unexpectedly. He didn't plan on confronting Madara quite yet, he wanted to scope out the man's skill set before he did. To late now, Madara had already contacted him. Though how the man knew that he was going to massacre his own clan was questionable. The man offered to do a large portion of it though, in exchange Itachi would join him in his organization. It sounded wrong to Itachi, but he didn't really want to kill his entire family. They would do it in three days.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught movement above a house three blocks away. It was likely a Root ANBU making their rounds, the ANBU scheduled to patrol the area had already passed and would pass again in a few hours.

* * *

**You know how I mentioned previously about how Anko is auto corrected to Khan, Sasuke to Sapsucker, etc? Well...**

"**Bikini is our top interrogator, a fearsome man that has nearly mastered the art of subtle manipulation and torture," Khan informed the new intern, "Cochin, being a Yamanaka, is our mental probe expert. But really, it's Bikini you need to worry about, he gets grouchy if he doesn't have his tea."**

**Ibiki is Bikini. Inoichi is Cochin (a breed chicken with feathery legs...I think it fits). It's at times like this I don't mind the strange autocorrect options.**

**On another note, I made a Jingle Bell parody for Itachi, "The Weasel's Jingle" I call it. Haha, was supposed to be crackish...turned a little dark. By the way, I'm using the original format of the original song (which is longer than I thought). Verse, chorus, verse, chorus, etc. I rhymed the best I could.**

* * *

"The Weasel's Jingle"

Elders want a coup,

I'm a double crossing spy,

Shisui had a plan,

but Danzo stole his eye!

Now my cousin's dead,

my eyes are bloody red,

too bad I'm a pacifist,

'least that's what father said.

Hn, Mangekyo, Sharingan,

what a curse it is.

The plan is ruined, my clan is doomed, and Shisui just died.

Mangekyo, Sharingan,

and "Tobi" at my side.

We shall slay, the clan today, with orders I abide.

Hello baby brother,

This looks kinda bad,

that I massacred the clan,

and I killed mom and dad.

The Uchiha are weak,

I needed to be stronger.

I did this as a test,

and to gain a lot more power.

Hn, Mangekyo, Sharingan,

Tsukuyomi just for you.

Watch them die, hear them cry, power of this eye.

Uchiha, Madara,

I will follow you.

So I take my place, at your base, as Jiraiya-sama's spy.

Now I am a "traitor",

"clan killer", once "prodigy",

Honor is no longer

needed in Akatsuki.

Just try to defeat me,

you're lacking hatred

abhor and despise me,

if you want to see me dead.

Hn, Mangekyo, Sharingan,

Regrets burned in mind.

I can't escape, the lies I make, and memories of the past.

Eternal, Mangekyo

is not what I desire.

Sasuke-kun, I'll use it on you, but this time is the last.

My little otouto,

We're meeting once again.

Sorry I can't tell you

why our parents had to die.

They planned to spread terror,

spoke treason, a coup d'etat.

Please forgive my error,

"…kore de saigo da."

Hn, Mangekyo, Sharingan,

another ninja war.

This is the day, enemies pay, and burn in my black fire.

Uchiha, Madara,

all this was your plan?

The ravens feast, on the end of peace, and ruin that you did sire.

Hello younger brother.

You learned of the past

somehow I figured

that my lies would never last.

You don't have to forgive.

Even if you go awry,

I will always love you.

This is my last goodbye.

Hm, Otou-san, Okaa-san,

Shisui, I am here.

I'm proud of you, my otouto, your anger will cease.

Uchiha, Sarada,

so I'm an uncle now?

The clan is safe, the future's bright, and I finally am at peace.

**Okay, didn't cover as much as I wanted to. (Planned to at least get the massacre period over and done with...but that will be in the next chapter.) I used a few Japanese words, Otou-san (father) and Okaa-san (mother) are technically used incorrect...but I don't care, it fit. Otouto (little brother) is also used incorrectly once, likewise...I don't care. Itachi shouldn't be saying "Sasuke-kun" but I don't care...it fits the rhythm. Jiraiya-sama is correct, "Kore de saigo da" (this is the last) is also correct...and quoted from dying Itachi. So that is all.**


	28. Chapter 27

**Esparia: So, an entire month late. Well, while that is embarrassing, it was on purpose. Not so much being late or anything, but the "Let's Not Write Today" policy I took up for a month. See, when you find yourself in the midst of a brain obsession, you take a break. My brain started thinking too much about Naruto, so in an effort to break this problem. I disassociated myself from the fandom. Didn't watch, didn't read, didn't do anything that connected my brain into thinking about Naruto or the cast of Naruto. Enjoying the fandom is very different than obsessing over it.**

**It's still borderline at the moment but I think I can safely enter the fandom of Naruto again without losing my mind. I was already pushing my boundaries as far as Fandom Obsession goes. However, my dreams have recently taken a massive downfall and I've decided that "Yes, I do need a break before I lose all sense of reality".**

**I can handle strange thoughts, dreams, musings. I can handle thoughts about how Mitsuki came to be, I can handle dreams about being eaten and digested by Zetsu, and I can even handle the musings of the many moral issues presented in Naruto as its foundation. **

**However, I draw the line (because we all need a line that keeps us sane) when I find myself having long, deep discussions about the theoretical reproduction of Sasori's puppets and dreams that result in me being a magical princess of fourteen that had the misfortune to be married off to the Monkey King Itachi. There are _boundaries_. There are _lines_. Lines that should _not_ be crossed. Mating season/nesting rituals for puppets and Itachi dancing/sticking his tongue out at his younger brother for "bride-napping the Monkey King's Youthful Wife-To-Be" just so happens to be that line for me.**

**I just so happen to hold my sanity a bit higher than updates. That is all.**

**Disclaimer: No owning Naruto on this side of the world.**

**Esparia: *narrows eyes at The Master Plotline* ...if I keep going the pace I am...I'm not going to finish this until I'm six feet underground. I'm not Kishimoto, so it's time to kick this plot speed up a notch. As my art teacher always says, "Less is more" and "Detail only what will enhance it". That's right, I'm going to flash plot this until I reach the next arc. *cracks knuckles* ...though maybe within a few updates. One update isn't enough.**

**Sasuke: *grumbles* I don't want to be here.**

**Esparia: It's brief, deal with it.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty Seven

Interference

_May 18th, Sixth year of the 1st Timeline,_

_Obito slashed down the occupants of the house before returning to the rooftops. Glancing over the silent compound he could make out the cry of a child._

_Obito turned to that sound, knowing that he would have to take care of the person._

_He took no pleasure in killing a child, but it was best if he did. A child could grow in hate, he knew. A child could warp without guidance, he knew. A child could grow into a beastly thing with the wrong guidance, he knew. This was even more so for his clan, how he loathed their actions. It would be best if he killed them all._

_Besides, it didn't matter._

_Later, soon..._

_When the plan was done._

_The world..._

_It would all end up..._

_Everything would be..._

_Perfect._

_Obito bounded over the rooftops and entered the main house. Ah, so it was a cousin he never met. Itachi-chan's little brother. Sasuke._

_What was a death in comparison to a perfect world?_

_But.._

_No, he would let his brat cousin live._

_If only to get his remaining cousin to cooperate._

_A resource was better than meaningless death._

_They would both die anyway._

_Then..._

_Then everything would be..._

_Perfect._

* * *

Shisui pulled out a small vial of clear liquid, this would be his last house call. Fortunately, the old geezer turd lived alone so he didn't have to be careful about what he was poisoning. Gently applying the scentless, flavorless toxin along the rim of all the cups in the cupboards, Shisui silently left the house.

Shisui had visited the houses that he knew he would have to, poisoning toothbrushes, chopsticks, dental floss, denture paste, and other varies things.

Leaping up onto the rooftops, he shunshined away from the compound, heading towards the Land of Wind. Come morning, and the instigators of his clan's downfall would be dead.

* * *

Ibiki sighed happily, he was finally done with all the intern-work that was supposed to be completed and filed away. That mountain of paperwork _Anko _was supposed to do was now filled out and neatly filed away. He planned to have _words _with the intern, but first he was going to take a nap. A long deserved nap.

Ibiki was happy to note that now that all the paperwork was done, he could leave the remaining work like the daily interrogation and torture workload to the others. He was signing out for the day and the next day if need be. He had been awake for the last seventy two hours and he was going to take his day off.

As much as he wanted something to make his time with the mountain of homework- mountain of _psyche_ _reports _lessen, he certainly hoped that nothing would happen during his sleeping day_._ So help him, if so much as one Mizu ninja crossed the border without the proper pass, there would be weeping. No, he wouldn't kill today. However mind torture and making _certain_ people's days _bad_...he most certainly will if some ANBU decides to wake him up.

* * *

As dawn broke, it was exactly as Uchiha Shisui predicted. Cranky elders, that thought it would be best to overthrow a government that supposedly wronged them, were drinking their morning tea or brushing their teeth. Unknowingly poisoning themselves with the toxins meant just for them.

Men and women collapsed where they would later be found by their nurses, family, or the ninja checking in all the households when the alarm rang.

* * *

Itachi was in his room, staring vacantly up at the white ceiling when a distressed cry from his mother echoed the house. In a flash of movement, he grabbed his kunai and rushed down the hall to where he heard his mother. He found her hovering around the fallen form of his father, hands clasped to her mouth.

"F-fugaku," she stuttered, hand reaching down to touch him before being retracted back to heart, "who did this?"

Itachi moved closer and around his mom to see his father lying in a puddle of coagulated blood. Crouching down next to his father's body, his ANBU training kicking in, he quickly took in all the pieces of the murder scene.

Time of death: five hours ago. Cause of death: cut to the jugular, from a tanto. No signs of poisoning. Murderer: Around 155 centimeters in height...a child.

The pattering of Sasuke's feet signaled his approach, the younger boy skidded to a halt next to his mother and saw his dead father by his brother, looking back and forth between his living family he stuttered, "K-Kaa-chan? Ni-i-san?"

* * *

Anko had finally gone home after Shisui left, much to Mitsuo's relief, and was sleeping her bed when she woke with dread. She had finally remembered that there was a stack of papers that she was supposed to do, but didn't. A stack of papers that had to be finished, but weren't. A stack of papers that her superior, Ibiki, likely had to do himself. Papers that would no doubt put the man in a bad mood for having to stay up all night, the night that a sudden mass clan elder killing was taking place. A killing that would force the ANBU to get a certain already angry superior to wake up earlier then expected no doubt making him angrier. An angry superior that would need to vent his anger at anyone stupid enough not to do their job right. Like a certain intern that forgot to do the papers last night.

Anko burrowed further under her sheets, "I'm dead."

* * *

Ibiki felt more than heard the presence beside his bed, thankfully a friendly presence but a distressed one all the same.

"Duck-san, what has happened?" Ibiki asked the ANBU standing on the other side of the room.

"Ibiki-sama, the alarm call from the Uchiha district just rang," Duck reported, "The first team messaged that the Uchiha are dead, assassination."

Ibiki sat up carefully, so as not to aggravate his lower back injuries, "all of them?"

"Of course not sir," Duck said, "though it appears that all the clan members with power are dead. Elders in majority."

"The main family?" Ibiki asked, switching his night clothes for his work clothes. He wished he could spend more time in his knit penguin pajama pants.

"Only the head is dead," Duck said.

Ibiki inclined his head in acknowledgment as he strapped his weapons and weapon pouch to his body; he had respected Fugaku, it was a pity the man had to die to assassination.

"Ibiki-sama, it seems that there were multiple assassins. One of them was a child," Duck said, "suspects are as follows: a civilian girl seen wandering near the compound, a mist resident on vacation, and Uchiha Itachi."

Ibiki glowered; he would have to deal with the civilian's lawyers, the mist embassy, and the mess that was an heir being suspected of murdering his own family. Paperwork... there would be tears tonight. Or morning, since it was already dawn. Either way, that lazy intern was going to pay for his sleep deprivation.

* * *

Shisui was making his way through the trees in a timely manner. He wasn't known as "Shunshin no Shisui" for nothing, and if it was one thing he was good at in the line of jutsu, it would be using the shunshin to it's full potential while remaining on track and not running into things that he didn't want to run into.

He would be able to reach the desert within an hour if he continued at the pace he was, and he would probably need to. If hunter-nin were on his tail, it was inconceivable for him to pause and let them catch up. He'd get to Suna by midnight or he would wear green spandex, walk on his hands for a day, and proclaim the glorious amounts of youth his time traveling friend had. Which was not allowed to happen under any circumstances. Nothing made a person want to reach a destination more than some good old fashioned motivation.

* * *

Naruto woke when the sun had risen just enough for the predawn light to lighten the sky. Considering where he was at with the civilians as his company, he estimated that they'd reach Konoha midday if not early afternoon. That is, if they woke soon.

Getting up from where he was resting, Naruto reignited the campfire and began readying breakfast. Civilians often cooked their breakfast and it wasn't like he was on a mission (officially) that would attract dangerous ninja to them. Naruto decided that they'd probably get ready quicker if he cooked the meal before they woke up. The sooner they ate, the sooner they'd get to Konoha.

* * *

Ibiki stood before the crying civilian girl. All he asked was a simple, "why were you wandering the streets?" She took one look at him and began crying and blubbering about...something. This was why he wanted one of the friendlier (looking) interrogators to question her. He had already finished with the mist civilian was already given a general questioning. That civilian was more than forthcoming with his answers, he didn't want to be in trouble with foreign affairs and frankly that made all the difference. Mist civilians were not so easily scared but more than willing to volunteer information to avoid creating a war when their home country was in shambles. The mist civilian had an alibi, a jounin who was tending to a bar the night previous, so the man was clean.

"I jus' wanna go 'ome!" the civilian girl of fifteen blubbered.

Ibiki refrained from sighing, now if only she would answer his question so he could _send _her home. Then all that would be left would be the Uchiha heir. That was not a mess he wanted to deal with but was inevitably going to need to.

* * *

Anko grumbled as she sat down before the piles of work. When she had gone into work that morning, there was not a single sheet of white in sight. So she left to get herself breakfast, having skipped in order to get to her workplace as quickly as possible (after convincing herself that, no, she could not become a missing ninja because she was scared of her superior).

When she got back, there were mountains of paper that could rival the stuff on the Hokage's desk.

Pulling the first one in front of her, she scowled, "...Shisui...this is all _your_ fault."

* * *

Danzo received the report that an entire third of the Uchiha clan was killed the night previous. He knew that Itachi would follow his orders; the boy, while a genius, followed orders perfectly. He did not expect for the boy to kill his kin so soon after Danzo ordered them to be killed. He did not understand why so many were left unscathed. Stranger still was the way Itachi went about doing so.

It was reported that the Uchiha were killed with different techniques. Poison and sword wounds.

It seemed that there was another player.

* * *

Itachi was sitting in a jail cell in the civilian's prison that was meant to hold drunken shinobi. Basically it was meant to withstand erratic chakra fluctuations of a panicked low jounin. It wasn't exactly the place Itachi pictured himself ending up anytime in his life. He doubted he would have the occasion to let himself drink enough to be inebriated, then again, he didn't even see himself making friends that he could go off drinking irresponsibly with. He likely never would, considering his status as Uchiha genius-prodigy-heir and possible murderer of said clan.

His clan, or what was left of them, were quick to apprehend him. It seemed that while none of them were directly related to the plotting of the coup and knew nothing of what was really going on behind the rice paper screens of the main house, all somehow knew that he was a possible traitor to their clan. He was watched for quite some time now by his cousin Shisui, and while he was not surprised by the development of their suspicion being that he was working under the Hokage, he did not enjoy the others that took the liberty of watching him for their elder's sake.

When Shisui was reported dead by none other than himself, the elders were furious and highly wary of him. They likely left home telling their nuclear families of their worries who in turn told their close relatives. So while there was no evidence that Shisui's suicide was staged by himself, the suspicion would spread like wildfire. Even more so now that those elders that were threatening him and warning their families that he might be dangerous.

Blame would fall to him, and while he did not kill the Uchiha clan like he was ordered to do, he was planning on doing so. His clansmen were suspicious already of him and now that he was already raising the suspicion, he would be put under scrutiny and likely would be unable to kill anyone else of his clan. Luckily, it seemed that whoever did kill his clan, had killed the instigators. Itachi highly suspected Uchiha Madara as the culprit, as that masked man had approached him in the first place. Though why he decided to kill certain members of the clan he despised and not others was a mystery.

Which led to another problem all in its own. Madara. The fact that his _dead _elder was in fact _not _dead was not good in itself and not something he wanted everyone to know. Itachi didn't have an alibi and Ibiki could tell when Itachi was lying or withholding information. Itachi would be mind searched. If a Yamanaka were to find what he was hiding in the recesses of his mind, he would charged with a little more than suspicion.

He couldn't let himself bemindwalked, Konoha's own safety was hanging on by threads as it were. He couldn'tnot cast blameonto himself either, if not then it was likely that other clansmen would be searched and if one combines what would beidle conversation and opinionated comments from fellow clan members, one could easily uncover the secret that they tried so hard to hide. The Uchiha clan could not be charged with treason.

* * *

Ibiki was finally able to send that sniveling little brat away, finally he would get to move onto the clan heir that was likely going to be the winding down of a day of interrogation.

Itachi was a stressed little thing and avoided conflict like the plague, a pacifist if Ibiki ever saw one. So it was unlikely that Itachi of all people would kill his family. It was also likely that he would willingly let himself be interrogated because he was innocent. Ibiki had looked at the incoming crime reports, all of which would be organized by Anko, and found that the way of killing the people was not in Itachi's style of killing.

Ibiki found that if Itachi needed to kill, he would kill within a hit or two. If Itachi needed his subject for interrogation, he would put them under genjutsu. He was a merciful shinobi.

"Ibiki-san," an ANBU intoned.

Ibiki made his way to the holding cell, "Yes, speak Magpie."

"The chakra signature of Uchiha Itachi is not present with the cell."

Ibiki stopped short, "you are certain."

"I was on my way to check, sir," Magpie reported.

Magpie was a renown chakra sensor whom was known to be able to track a fly supressing its chakra, the ninja was fairly famous for these skills, at least within the ANBU and underground security network. Outside of ANBU Magpie was an average jounin with a serious case of inattentiveness. Ibiki trusted Magpie's words about as much as he trusted any other close comrade's. It wasn't to say, though, that Magpie could tell if there were traps or suppression seals. Seals and nonliving things weren't Magpie's expertise.

Ibiki and Magpie made their way quickly to the door and tentatively opened it. Ibiki sighed in annoyance, having hoped that this would be the easiest interrogation. Alas, there was not an Uchiha to be found.

* * *

Shisui made his way through the thick walls of Sunagakure, providing the traveling and visiting papers that the Naruto clones had given him before his mission when a guard stopped him. The ninja fingered through his papers, checking to make sure everything was in order, and glanced up at the waiting man.

"Few questions, sir," the man said, looking at Shisui.

Shisui inclined his head, showing he was willing to answer.

"What business do you have in Sunagakure?"

"Hmm, personal? Brain holiday? Meeting a friend, touring, trying the local cuisine, the like."

"How long do you plan to stay?" the ninja asked.

"Indefinitely," Shisui shrugged.

The ninja blinked before continuing, "your luggage-"

"Yes," Shisui confirmed with a sharp nod.

"What?"

"Yes, I have luggage. Can't go anywhere without bringing something from home."

The guard closed his eyes, getting annoyed, "your luggage, are you carrying any weapons, live animals, pineapples, human heads, or bottles of liquid larger than your fist?"

"No...well, a thing of water...and my mom's tanto."

The ninja held out his hand.

Shisui relinquishing his canteen and unstrapped the tanto that hung under his cloak.

The ninja cast a poison detecting jutsu over the canteen before returning it with a nod, inspected the tanto, riffled through the papers Koji gave him before handing the tanto back as well.

The Suna ninja nodded and made a sign to the hidden guards that Shisui's papers and information was in order.

"You're clear," the Suna ninja said, addressing Shisui, "You're free to stay in Suna for the length of a month barring medical emergencies or your imprisonment should you break our laws. You may get an extended visitation pass from the foreign affairs office. Inns are available primarily in the north eastern sector."

"Thank you, Shinobi-san," Shisui said with a bow before entering the large village.

Shisui had been in the village a few times in the past, but for the majority of his ninja career he found himself in the land of water much more frequently.

As Shisui walked the sandy streets, he found himself wondering where he would be staying now that he was a dead ninja. He would need to meet up with the clone Hajime before he did anything. According to the other clones, Hajime looked like a nineteen year old version of Naruto. Basically a younger Koji with more scars. Personality and timeline wise, Shisui knew the least about Hajime being that he never met the clone.

He wondered if it was healthy for Naruto to divide himself in such a way, probably a combination of what was extremely not healthy and what was keeping the kid-man functionally sane. Though he was no psychologist, so what did he know?

Besides, it was not the time to psychoanalyze Naruto (leave that confusing psychiatric mumbo jumbo to the Yamanaka), he needed to find Hajime before nightfall.

* * *

Koji was sitting at the large desk, going through scrolls and intercepted messages. He sighed and looked at the time-clone standing across from him, "Taku, I can't say that this is a good idea."

Taku coughed and cleared his throat before saying, "we'll have to take care of it at some point."

Koji inclined his head to the Ex-Root ninja, "I agree, however doing so now of all times is not the wisest. A large portion of the Uchiha were supposedly just killed by a loyal leaf ninja, the underground organizations especially will up their security and screening. Searching for insubordination."

"I don't plan on acting now," Taku paused to cough, "preparing takes time."

Koji rubbed his head, "I suppose you have everything planned."

Taku cleared his throat and drank some water before answering, "I've already started, a week ago."

Koji huffed, "and you were going to tell us, when exactly?"

Taku shrugged, "afterward, I'm running this by you so you know why I've been missing."

Koji shuffled through some papers, "I take it you don't want me to say anything to the others yet."

"If you would refrain, it might save you a headache," Taku said.

Koji chuckled, "right, right, just be here when Naruto comes home. He's going to be in a mood when he finds out what's been happening."

Taku paled, "maybe it'd be better to stay on this side of the scroll, you know, so I don't get caught."

Koji gave the projection of Taku a glare, "you are not leaving me with a bunch of under developed Narutos."

"You have Shiro," Taku said.

"Who is going to be throwing a temper tantrum along with Mitsuo, no thanks," Koji grumbled.

"Invite Anko? Naruto is going to want to know about her," Taku said.

"I was going to anyway," Koji said, "just make sure that you come."

"Aye-aye," Taku coughed, "looks like I have to go, ja ne."

Taku's image above an intricate seal flickered before having it disappear altogether.

Koji shook his head grumbling before turning back to the papers on the desk, picking them up he went to file them away on the massive shelves.

Noriyuki silently shut the door of the bedroom, not saying a word of what he overheard.

* * *

Sasuke was not the world's sneakiest kid, that title belonged to a crazy blonde time traveler, but he was stealthy enough to hide from most of his family. Granted this achievement was not as awe inspiring if his family were the Hyuuga clan instead, but nevertheless he was good at sneaking around when he wanted to. His brother always seemed to know he was there, as did his mother...though she knew everything, like that time he planned on sneaking some the riceballs. How she knew what he was thinking was beyond him.

Other than his mother and brother, his relatives generally ignored him. He figured that it was likely because his older brother was so much better at things than he was, and yes, sometimes he was a bit jealous of all the attention Itachi got. However this was one of the times he didn't mind so much that he was overlooked.

After he saw his father's body, it was still hard to believe he was dead, his mother rushed him out of the room. Leaving his brother with his dad. He was kept away from the place, not allowed to see because he was too little.

Nobody would tell him what happened or why his father was dead. All he knew was that after he saw his father lying in a puddle of blood- _that is so wrong, it's not true, how can Tou-san be dead –_ he was rushed away by his mother and comforted by Itachi while the men in the white kabuki masks asked her questions. When the men finished asking his mother, they asked Itachi. They also asked him a few things, but he didn't know anything and they wouldn't tell him anything either.

Later Satoru, some great uncle's nephew's cousin's something or another, asked Itachi to come with him to follow him to the police station.

They talked in hushed whispers and Itachi agreed to go. It wasn't so strange, Itachi leaving, but when he peaked out the window and saw Satoru handcuffing his brother he knew that it wasn't good.

He was listening in on a pair of older ladies behind a bush, ladies talked about weird things but he found that if he wanted information about the clan he couldn't get from his family, then listening in on them was the best. He learned that Itachi was arrested- _Nii-san isn't a criminal, why did they take him, they don't seem to like Nii-san _-for being a "highly suspicious suspect".

Sasuke wasn't stupid, he knew that things in the clan have been tense. That the elders were crankier than usual. That his father was pressuring the family more than usual. That his mother was a little more quiet a little more terse with him than usual. He knew something was happening. He didn't think it would be this bad. It would fix itself, like any fights he had with his brother. Like any misunderstanding between his parents. That in the end it would be okay, because Itachi promised.

Everything was supposed to get better. Except...it wasn't. Mother was quiet and wouldn't speak much at all. Father was- _it can't be true, how could it happen, doesn't make sense _-dead. Shisui was dead, but there was nobody. The clan was talking in angry tones. And now, his big brother was in prison.

No one was going to tell him what was going on. He was willing to not pay attention to it because- _Nii-san promised, it got worse, did he lie _-things were supposed to get better. Now, he wasn't sure. His family were all leaving and no one was going to talk to- _I'm old enough to know, this is my family, so what if I'm not like Nii-san _-a kid like he was.

If no one was going to tell him what was going on, he was going to find out for himself.


	29. Chapter 28

**Esparia: Suicide, I both hate and grieve its existence. A man down the street has just drowned himself not two weeks ago, I know several who have contemplated or tried, I know of many that have thought it, and I have wanted it myself. Suicide is not a joke and it is not okay to make light of it. It is not okay to tell people to die or kill themselves even if you do not mean it. I do not mind having others tell me to die or kill myself because they don't like something I've written, but when a person says this so easily to me I will be angry because I know that the person who tells me this will just as easily tell someone else this. **

**This is unacceptable and you need to stop. If you don't like someone, please keep it to yourself. Frankly, you don't know me as I don't know you. While I am not new to such comments, these people, at least, have the decency to use their own accounts to voice their opinions and so I will give them the courtesy of addressing them with a PM. Hiding behind a guest review to speak nasty words is cowardly and unsightly. Have you not even the honor of standing by your name and words? It is actions like this that cause Cyber Bullying to be so effective. It's shameful to yourself and the name you make for yourself. You may be given a name, but you choose who that name represents. Hiding behind a guest review makes no difference to your name, it is simply not publicized. Either way, it is still coming from you and thus who your name will become. **

**The rest of your comment will be ignored as I would have ignored your comment altogether if you had not offended me with your uncouth mannerisms towards suicide, for which I have no tolerance. Your words towards my person and habits have failed to offend me, having I have been criticized for much worse and enough for such petty uncreative words to be meaningless.**

**Disclaimer: Esparia doesn't own the Naruto franchise.**

* * *

Chapter Twenty Eight

The Sandcastle

Anko smashed her head against the desk as _another _ninja brought in even _more _piles of paper for her to go through. That slave driver Ibiki was no doubt relishing in his easy noob job of interviewing three targets that have all the reason to talk. The hardest one would be a civilian brat. Foreigners constantly tried not to get involved with foreign laws, especially people from Mist, and everyone knew Itachi was a rule-abiding kid. She knew all of them were innocent anyway, that punk Shisui only killed a few and he was probably already in Suna.

"Playing dead to avoid work. Stupid vacationing Uchiha," Anko grumbled and filed away another stack of papers.

* * *

Gaara peered down at the struggling man. He did not know precisely who the man was, other than his name and that Hajime was waiting for him. He had told Gaara to keep an eye out for this particular man and to bring him to the buried sand fort.

Hajime had done a henge to show Gaara who to look for; people who looked like the man, Shisui, were few in the Land of Wind. Black haired, black eyed, and panicking more than a child who just discovered a lizard's ability to detach their tails. The poor foreigner was caught in a mild sand storm.

Hajime was taking care of "Sandman's Castle of Dreams and Nightmares", cleaning out dust and the like. Gaara had been helping until recently.

Gaara watched the man walk in circles before deciding that he would have to intervene before the poor man wandered off, got lost, and died before he could get him to Hajime.

Making his way to the man, he let the sand barricade around him slip away as he made a run to the flailing ninja. When he got to him, he took hold of the man's sleeve with his small hand and tugged, fully expecting a violent flinch.

Gaara pulled him in a...safer direction, to an outpost made for villagers caught in the storm. Every child that was allowed to play by themselves knew that if a sandstorm came, they were to hunker down with either another family or to head towards one of the bunkers.

Having gotten into the bunker, Gaara released his hold and looked up at Shisui while Shisui looked back, wondering who the red-haired kid was.

The little red head tilted his head before saying, "you are Shisui."

Shisui grunted, shaking the sand out of his hair. He was thinking of all the implications a kid like the boy in front of him knowing his name would mean. Shisui thought that perhaps it was a Naruto clone or Naruto himself, though he didn't doubt that Naruto was already on his way back to Konoha.

Gaara watched for a moment before saying, "Hajime-san said you'd come."

Shisui startled but didn't visibly show it, "you are friends with Hajime?"

Gaara's pale green eyes stared blankly and was quiet for an uncomfortable (for Shisui) amount of time before nodding. He tilted his head before saying, "I'll take you to his place when the storm passes...unless you want to go now?"

"No, waiting is fine," Shisui said, thinking about the sandstorm he got caught in and sat down against the smooth wall.

Gaara trotted to his side and sat beside him silently.

Shisui smiled down at the quiet boy before saying, "You know my name, but I don't know your's."

Gaara looked up at him before looking down at his lap; Gaara, while he got used to Hajime and Naruto talking to him, still wasn't used to random strangers being generally kind to him, "Gaara."

"Nice to meet you Gaara-kun," Shisui said, smiling widely.

Gaara stared, wide-eyed, at the friendly man before ducking his head. He was pretty sure he made another friend.

* * *

Itachi shivered as he ran across the bogs, shoes squeaking and filled with unidentifiable biomatter that rubbed against his skin. His clothes were stained a pea green, and were soaked with smelly, cold swamp water. His once black hair was now brown with bits of _things_ stuck in it, crusted to his forehead and hitai-ate. In short, Uchiha Itachi resembled something more like a science experiment gone wrong, or maybe the child of a swamp troll and an grumpy nymph.

He had missed the change of land quality in the span of a distracted jump, landing him on top of a bogland. Bogs were dangerous, contrary to their appearance. Sure the squeamish civilian girls would, _'ew, gross, nature...in your clothes'_, the place simply because of the complete and utter nature of the whole place. The medics would scream at all the possible viruses the place could carry, _'hiss, this is a cesspool for sickness and disease, get out of there'_. Ninja would worry about the possibility of unseen traps beneath the water and silt, _'because you just never know, paranoia is better than death'_. The real problem was stepping into a bog itself.

Bogs on the surface look, well, shallow. The water to muck level will look it, but the second you step in the muck, bam, you are neck deep in sludge, peeing your pants in fright, and struggling to get out of the mud before you sink deeper. If you've ever stepped in mud and you go to walk, but the boot refuses to come along, it's like that, except your entire body.

No, Itachi did not pee his pants and no, he did not squeak when he sunk past his ears. Uchiha do not do such unsightly things, but if there was a whimper and a bit of post-unexpected-near-death shaking when he hauled himself out, the trees and animals would say nothing.

Needless to say, Itachi's first day as a missing ninja was not turning out to be the best.

* * *

Anko stretched behind the Desk of Despair, bored with the work but intrigued by what the ANBU were reporting.

She didn't think that the Uchiha clan would so easily arrest young Itachi, on the other hand, the Uchiha clan were strange like that. What really got her attention was how adamant they seemed to think that the kid killed the elders and patriarch.

An ANBU appeared before her and dispassionately ordered, "sound the alarms, Uchiha Itachi has escaped."

* * *

Ibiki stood in the Hokage's office, back straight and shoulders set. He had just finished telling the Hokage his report on the suspects.

The Hokage was puffing his pipe with a contemplative face, stress lines deep and eyes worn. Closing his eyes briefly in thought he repeated, "Itachi-kun killed his kinsmen."

"It appears so, Hokage-sama, we have oi-nin after him now," Ibiki said, no tone inflecting what he was thinking about the events.

Ibiki was surprised, surprised that he had not seen any evidence of Itachi's plan to kill his elders. Yes, Ibiki could see the stress the clan was putting him under and he knew what was happening in the clan. He was the head of the Torture and Interrogation department, so he was privy to such information such as a possible coup. He knew that there was a spy, and it didn't take a Nara to guess that it was Itachi. This sudden killing spree could easily have been a last minute resort to stop the coup, however, the boy did not so much as send a message to the Hokage after killing them. That was what Ibiki thought was odd, Itachi gave the Hokage his reports with everything pertaining to his missions in them. The Uchiha Negotiations was a mission for the young Uchiha.

Itachi knew that Ibiki knew what the Uchiha were planning, so why would the boy run? Why would he run when all he needed was some questions answered. Surely the boy understood that they wouldn't exile him for killing the instigators of a coup? Konoha needed good ninja, especially since they lost so many in the last war.

Something just didn't sit right. Ibiki didn't like that, not one bit.

* * *

Danzo was livid, though he showed it only with steely orders and a freezing aura. An eyeball could not simply disappear into thin air. How Uchiha Shisui's sharingan disappeared from the cleansing liquid it sat in not an hour ago, while under the highest security, was not something Danzo understood nor did he care for. All he wanted was for that eye to return into his possession.

He had heard of Uchiha Itachi's escape, he thought briefly on the matter that the boy could have snuck into Root and stolen Shisui's lost eye, but just as quickly dismissed that. Uchiha Itachi was under constant surveillance any time that would have had the eye most vulnerable. It seemed that it was not the boy who was the culprit. Someone must have taken it, who it was remained unknown.

Eyes do not simply disappear into thin air.

* * *

Naruto walked through the gates mid-afternoon, friendly smile and calm demeanor thoroughly intact. Showing nothing of the _maelstrom _raging beneath the surface. A series of hand signs to the guards to tell them that the henge and fake identity card were for undercover purposes legalized by the hokage, a quiet goodbye to the civilian family, and Naruto was back inside Konoha ready to kick some clone butts.

Turning into a nearby alley, Naruto's henge faded away and a clone popped into existence.

Annoyed blue eyes took in the clone before nodding, the clone nodded back and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Breathing calmly to settle his rising ire, he skipped out of the alley with a grin consuming his face. Eye squinted and arms flailing in a very uncoordinated manner. Beelining to his father's Fuuinjutsu lab. He wouldn't have to worry about returning home quite yet.

His clone self was still taking his place in the classroom. With how things were, it was possible that the academy day was cancelled. Unlikely, but a possibility. It was more probable that Sasuke simply wasn't going to school today because of the mini-massacre that happened. In the past they had cancelled the academy, for security reasons, and Sasuke had missed about a month of it afterward. With the massacre being less massacre and more assassination to lower the power of a powerful clan. The security may feel less threatened and not cancel the day.

Either way, Naruto himself wouldn't have to worry about that until later when his clone popped. Before then, he would be spending his time therapeutically blowing up at himself.

* * *

Sasuke was scared, he would not admit it to anyone other than his mother. He was afraid of what the others in his clan were whispering. Itachi, a _traitor_? _Killed_ the others, like father and the elders. _Killed_ Shisui? Shisui died yesterday, suicide was what he heard his brother say. Shisui was Itachi's best friend, only evil people kill friends. But...Shisui was –_ dead, Tou-san, Shisui...is Kaa-san next- _Itachi could do it, he was strong enough to kill them. Could Itachi have... but Itachi is _his brother_. Itachi wasn't evil.

Sasuke was angry he would admit that readily enough. How they spoke of his brother was not acceptable. How they spoke of his brother, with certainty, like they were speaking facts and not suspicion. How could they call Itachi a traitor, he thought that the clan always loved his brother more. But now... -_they called him...kin slayer, how dare they accuse my brother- _Itachi was always kind to him, so why were they calling him such mean names?

Sasuke was confused, he wouldn't admit this to anyone, except maybe Itachi, Uchiha weren't uncertain about things. If Itachi killed them, why father and the elders? Only certain people were dead. His mother wasn't dead, he wasn't dead, and he figured (he hated to admit it) that they were easier to kill then his father. _-Why Tou-san? What did he do? Kaa-san isn't...surprised...she didn't defend him-_

Sasuke's fists clenched, he didn't understand why all this was happening. He didn't understand why his brother was taken away and accused of something so horrible. He didn't understand why his mother was sad but not confused, like himself. He didn't know what all these adults whispered about.

The whispering is what really made him realize that there was something else going on. They talked about his father's death, about his "traitorous" brother, about Shisui's "murder". But, they would say something strange and suddenly their conversation turned to hushed murmurs. Sasuke was going to be a ninja, and ninja could tell when something was wrong. Something in his clan was _wrong_. So Sasuke was determined to find out what that something was, he was going to be a ninja after all.

* * *

Hajime rubbed his head tiredly, he had been directing clones all day and the information he had just gotten from Naruto was only slightly relieving. Naruto was finally back in Konoha, so he would take care of the other clones' mishaps, but the extent of the mishaps were something he was quite glad he didn't have to take care of.

"Oi, oi, Hamjime-jiji," a particularly unpleasant clone said, jumping into his line of sight.

"Yes, what is it now...forty-three?" Hajime asked, if he had to listen to this unbalanced clone report one more damaged wall due to poor protection sealing, Hajime was sure he was going to blow a figurative fuse.

"I'm forty-two," the clone huffed, "don't mistake me for that idiot."

"Well, what is it?"

"Gaara brought Shisui, they're in the foyer," the clone grumbled and walked away to continue working on the plumbing system.

Hajime hummed tiredly before leaving to pick the two up.

The sand fortress, or as Hajime liked calling it, "Sandman's Castle of Dreams and Nightmares", was much bigger than he and Naruto had originally expected. The inside was exactly like what one would expect a castle made to house a biju with the power to control sand to be like.

The walls towered over the human occupants and airy rooms were large enough to hold three to twenty stadiums made for the chunin exams, the graceful arches that led from one room to another were carved with meticulous swirling designs as if to capture the texture of wind itself.

The predominant sandstone like walls were yellow in color, like Shukaku himself; the arches and trimming were a bold red and swirls of brown and black covered the white ceilings and walls with curling pictures of past events. The floor was brown with what seemed to be glints of violet amethyst and bright yellow citrine, smooth to the touch like polished glass with not an edge nor crack to be seen.

Massive pillars made of brown cairngorm and rose quarts lined the castle walls, formed to look like narrow blooms that reached across the ceilings, holding them up.

Similarly, the large courtyard in the center of the castle had a single soaring pillar in the center made of deep black morion that glittered with milky quartz, branching like that of a tree and webbing down the sides of the castle itself. The pillar had engravings in its sides that would let water spill from an underground reservoir into what would be a fountain. It held a dome of pale, rippled colors of chalcedony and opal. Light streaming down from the dome and lighting the place with a rainbow brilliance, while the rest of the castle had a softer glow to it.

The light, Gaara had said and as the clones had found out, was from a complex system of mirrors and glass that could be directed to either reflect the light from the sun, making it the brightest, or by a flame in the center of the workings, making a dimmer light.

The place was tidy when they entered, as well as dimly lit. The only problem had been all the dusting and cleaning from the sand build up over the years.

When Hajime finally got to where Gaara and Shisui were waiting, he couldn't help but grin at the Uchiha's awestruck face as his sharingan spun quickly trying to memorize the sight.

Hajime spread his arms and gestured to the castle around him, smiling pleasantly he said, "Welcome, Uchiha Shisui, to the Sandman's Castle of Dreams and Nightmares. Constructed by the great biju, Otsutsuki Shukaku, dating back seventy-five centuries ago. We hope your stay is comfortable. Please refrain from breaking the mirrors, pulling out gears attached to the mirrors, blowing out the candle because you think it'll be funny to see everyone stumble around in the dark, chipping out precious stones, blowing up walls, spilling the swept up sand, and drinking the water until we fix whatever was done to it."

Gaara looked up at Hajime, innocently asking, "is he still causing you trouble?"

"Hajime! Clone forty-three graffitied the family portrait on level four...and tampered with the vents..."

Glitter and feathers slowly drifted down from the ceiling.

Arms still held wide and smile just as pleasant, Hajime serenely said, "like you wouldn't believe was possible."

* * *

Taku peered down the gloomy hall to his right before glancing in the opposite direction. Carefully, he journeyed into the open and quietly closed the door behind him.

With barely blur, Taku was clinging to the ceiling and moving along the corridors with the stealth only obtainable to an assassin who was trained his entire life. Presence as unassuming as that of the sky, there without having substance to say where exactly it was.

Inching down the underground labyrinth that Root called head corridors, Taku scanned for any threatening presences. Behind him crawled four shadows, or more specifically known as shadow clones, that were making their way from holding room to holding room.

Taku signaled his clones his final orders, they confirmed them and split off before Taku continued making his way out of the tunnels of Root. Getting out of Root was just as, if not more, difficult than getting into it.

* * *

Anko growled when a poof announced the new presence of yet another ANBU, likely wanting to give her even more reports on the findings of the Uchiha Incident to add to her pile of brain torture.

Pointing to the processing pile, she said, "Just put it on the top, I'll get to it when I'm done."

The person in front of her coughed and said, "Anko-san, you've been summoned."

Anko muttered darkly, "tell Hokage-sama I'll be there soon."

"No, it's by the boss. He wants you to come over when you've finished here," the man in front of her said.

Anko looked up to who she recognized as Koji in a henge, "and you're here to tell me this?"

Koji smiled down at her, "I'm here to...escort you."

"To make sure I don't run away," Anko translated, "fine, help me with all this and we can get going."

* * *

The Naruto representative for all social interactions was once again bored out of his mind. It wasn't so strange for him to be bored, considering where he was, and it really wasn't that surprising that he was eager to dispel soon. The academy was so completely redundant by this life that it wasn't even funny. The Naruto clone wondered if this was how Shikamaru often felt. Surrounded by people who couldn't get simple concepts down and totally wasted time of repeating information already learned.

It took everything the clone had within him to keep himself awake. On normal occasions, if he was the actual Naruto, he would be perfectly willing to fall asleep to the lulling sounds of old information and half memorized lectures. However, the clone knew that if he fell asleep, he wouldn't be able to protect or ready his structure against chalk attacks via annoyed teachers. He would pop, and wouldn't that be the most pathetic way for a clone of his caliber to go? Popped by chalk, pitiful.

So clone Naruto resigned himself to wait through one more day of lecturing, real Naruto would take his place tomorrow.

Meanwhile, the real Naruto was sitting in the big desk looking over the scrolls his cloned past selves had found over the week he was gone. Sending some back to their shelves using the seal on the desk or summoning new scrolls at random intervals. A pile of mutilated stress balls were piling up around hid desk.

His time clones, a few of them at least, were in front of him and waiting for the others. Taku had come in a while after he had summoned them all, now they were just waiting for Koji to retrieve Anko.

"We're here," Koji greeted with Anko trailing behind him.

Naruto looked up and sent the rest of the scrolls back to their places. An unpleasant look was on his face, and he could tell that some of the clones were nervous. It was a little odd to see yourself scared of yourself, but he tried not to put too much thought into it.

"So," Naruto said, capping the ink and cleaning his pens and brushes, "it seems that you guys got into some trouble while I was away. Would anyone care to explain how this came about?"

Shiro, the fourth clone, cleared his throat, "after you left, Shisui stumbled upon-"

"Yes, yes, yes," Naruto cut him off, "I know _what _happened after I left and I'm not impressed. I leave this village for a _week_. Not only did you see fit to make a Fukushya Bunshin of Shisui, who forgot who he was, which was exactly why we banned this jutsu in the first place. Shisui also knows about me, the time traveling century year old in a six year old's body, and now his girlfriend does too. Oh, and to put it in even better a context, Shisui is now an officially dead ninja with a missing eye and the Uchiha were massacred a year and a half early. I leave for one week. Does anyone have anything else to add?"

Everyone was quiet but then Taku, the brave ex-ne-nin, said, "Shisui is on his way to Sunagakure and meeting up with Hajime. Itachi is a nuke-nin...again. Not all the Uchiha are dead, only the elders and possibly Fugaku, though it looks like the body is a fake. Oh, and I'm forming a revolution in Root."

Naruto sighed, "Well, as far as damage goes it's not that bad."

A few clones relaxed.

Glaring at them he snapped, "but this isn't excusing your insubordination. When I say 'wipe their memory' I mean it. But that can wait. You said Fugaku's body was possibly replaced, why?"

"It has properties of a medically made clone. I've taken actions to hide this speculation as the real Fugaku's location is unknown, if it is indeed a fake," Taku replied.

"We've lost all traces of Itachi," Koji said, "the boy is likely going to end up with...that group."

"Not surprising, but still annoying," Naruto said, "and Shisui?"

"Killed the elders, went to Suna, Itachi got blamed for what Shisui did, Shisui doesn't know the outcome yet," Shiro said.

"Hm, fine. I guess that will cover everything from you idiots," Naruto's attention went to Anko, "I'm sorry you had to be dragged into all this. However I'm going to need to know what you've found out that I haven't been able to find. You work in intelligence, yes?"

Anko blinked before waving her hands, "wait, wait, wait, hold up! What was that about a revolution? What is Root?"

Shiro patted her shoulder and said, "Anko, there is a secret organization under the village that plans to rule from the shadows. It's not that big of a deal."

"Moving on, Anko-chan, what have you learned about the Uchiha "Massacre"?" Naruto asked.

Anko huffed, "only that almost everyone suspects this Itachi kid, and more than just elders were killed. Some adults were found slaughtered, some have been critically injured, and there are a few unaccounted for. Half the clan has been affected."

"Old one-eye suspects another player," Taku said, "he's scrambling to figure out what is going on."

"As are the ANBU, Ibiki, and the Hokage I should think," Koji said.

Naruto folded his hands, deep in thought, which looked rather silly coming from a six year old. Tapping a finger on the back of his hand, he said, "It seems, that we don't know all the pieces. We know how we're involved, we know how the sandaime was involved, we know how the Uchiha are involved, and we know how Danzo is involved. This other participant, we know nothing of. Was there any evidence of this happening in past before?"

The clones looked at each other, recalling their own lives and sorting out their memories to see if they could think of anyone that could be involved with what was happening around them.

"We know Lollipop Face approached the Uchiha, but we don't know if he did that this time around yet," Shiro said.

Mitsuo nodded, staring blankly off into space, "his pattern was usually to kill a large majority of the clan."

"Do you think that Itachi actually did attack the others?" Naruto asked.

Koji shook his head, "Itachi would have left immediately afterward, he wouldn't have waited to be arrested and then make his escape."

Taku coughed, "he was careful to cover his tracks. Even though he's only just entered ANBU, he should be able to hide from the oi-nin."

Speaking for the first time, Noriyuki said, "Itachi-kun...is only eleven."

The clones and Naruto breathed out sharply, understanding what Noriyuki was meaning. The Itachi from all of their pasts were exiled from Konoha when he was thirteen, and even though Itachi was a prodigy and genius in understanding things around him, a few years more of support and general safety that came from not being a nuke-nin were huge.

With the exception of Anko, they all knew that Itachi's brief childhood, being an older brother, and period of being a ninja under the semi-benevolent sandaime had helped shape who Itachi was. Take almost two years of being in a place that didn't ask him to kill or injure whoever tried killing him was vital. Itachi was still a growing child, genius status dismissed, he was a child that had long lost his innocence. He had become an emotionally distant, passive, suicidal pacifist with a rather sad look on life and death. If a thirteen-year-old nuke-nin could turn into what Uchiha Itachi did become, they didn't know how he would react to the world of a missing ninja as an eleven-year-old. Granted he didn't kill his clan this time, but it was hard to say how it would end up shaping him. The mind, as the Yamanaka would say, was as malleable as an alloy. When heated under emotional pressure, it would change shape willingly enough, but when left to cool...difficult to so much as bend. Mindsets were difficult to break but easy to make, especially those created as a young child.

* * *

Omake

Itachi's Escape

The group of hunter ninja that were tracking the young Uchiha regrouped somewhere over the swampy lands.

"Did you find anything?" asked one of them.

The others shook their heads.

"It's like he just disappeared," another commented.

"Like he dissolved into the surroundings," the other said, "vanished."

"If he wasn't a security threat," grumbled one, "I'd be more impressed with his work."

"He is a genius," another one said, "it's almost impossible to cover your tracks this well in a bogland; either you disturb the moss, upturn the water, or your trail becomes cleaner."

One of them nodded, "things cling to you and if they don't, your scent is impossible to mask. It stands out too much."

"Like month old milk, eggs, and fish in a flower shop."

"How did he do it?"

Elsewhere, Itachi was trudging behind a masked ninja. Stoically making his way to where the other was leading him.

The masked ninja looked back at him from time to time before finally saying, "you know...you stink."

Itachi didn't reply, oh he knew it was bad. However he refused to acknowledge that after days of being covered in the possibly toxic gunk, he had lost a good portion of the usage of his nose. He could hardly smell a thing. It would likely take at least a week to heal, if it was not permanently damaged by the rancid scent of bog sludge.

"You really, _really _stink," the masked ninja, Madara, said.

Itachi refused to say anything, he would keep at least a little bit of his dignity in his silence. If only Madara would stop spraying him with "deodorizing air freshener for dog lovers".


	30. Chapter 29

**Esparia: My life this past month can be summed up as a never-ending dance number of "Can-can". **

**Plot-wise, my timeline for this was vague...like "Shisui does stuff", "Anko does some stuff too", and "Naruto does something about that one thing" sort of vague. My planning skills need work.**

**Disclaimer: ...there is no ownership here. Nope. None. Nada. Zip. Zero. Zilch. Goose eggs. Look for the owner of Naruto elsewhere...like Japan. Japan is a good place to start.**

Chapter 29

Missions

Sitting behind his school desk Sasuke was, for lack of a better word, brooding. He had to go back to school and make up a _lot _of work he missed. This didn't exactly bother him, it was easy work, slightly boring but easy enough that he could finish it in a couple of hours.

What was bothering him, though, was that he couldn't, for an entire month, find out what his clan was hiding. Sure he caught onto some interesting gossip, learned things that he probably wasn't meant to hear, but he still couldn't figure out what the big thing was.

It was all very hush-hush. From what he gathered, with his awesome spying skills, was that nobody actually knew everything except for the ones that were...killed. His father, the elders, and a few influential members; all knew totally what was going on but didn't tell much to their families because the secrets might accidentally be found out.

If it was something Sasuke learned from his...fangirls...it was that if a secret was told to too many people, somebody would blab. What happened after someone blabbed, like the fact that Kiko picks her nose, was usually followed by lots of crying and angry hair pulling. Girls are weird.

Frankly, Sasuke didn't care what those fangirls did. He knew plenty of other boys (and _maybe _himself) that picked and ate boogers. But the point was, a secret was a secret and you shouldn't tell people if you don't want the entire class to know. Or in the case of his family, the entire village.

So no, Sasuke didn't know what the secret was. He didn't know what was being planned. All he knew was that his clan didn't want anyone in the village to find out. Not even the Hokage, though the Hokage knew _everything_. Just like Itachi, his mom, and Auntie Misaki...Auntie Misaki was scary.

But whatever his clan was hiding, it must have been bad. His clan was a proud clan, they weren't afraid to tell others what they knew, so whatever they were keeping secret even from other clan members must have been dangerous.

The question was, what the secret?

"Ramen, is good..."

Sasuke looked at the snoring idiot beside him, Naruto. He wasn't exactly surprised that he was there, sitting beside him. Naruto had "made a deal" with him at the beginning of the school year: Naruto would protect him from fangirls if Sasuke protected him from flying erasers.

Sasuke didn't think he would need it, no Uchiha needs protection. But it turned out fangirls were something not even his big brother could fight off, as seen by the many times Itachi ran away from the heart-eyed girls. Sasuke then thought he was getting the better end of the deal, there were no such thing as flying erasers.

It turned out he was wrong about that too. As erasers seemed to fly and hit the blonde boy a lot. The first time it surprised him so much he couldn't defend Naruto in time, Naruto let the fangirls attack him once after that. The fiend.

"But I like my beautiful wife's red bean soup better," Naruto mumbled.

Sasuke's brow raised. Naruto was weird. A fiendish, weird idiot.

* * *

Ibiki walked down the halls of the Department of Intelligence, rubbing his temples in subdued frustration with a box of books and scrolls under his opposite arm. The Uchiha brat had successfully evaded multiple hunter ninja teams over the weeks that followed; as it were, it wasn't likely that they'd be seeing Itachi for a while.

Being that they had to check everything for signs as to what could have prompted Uchiha Itachi into killing his kinsmen, they had to go through his belongings and personal life in general. The people he kept in closest contact with were few or newly dead. Uchiha Shisui would have been the best option if he hadn't died, Izumi was skeptical and was hopelessly...infatuated, Mikoto was distraught but adequately composed given the situation, and young Sasuke knew nothing. So that left the inanimate and unsentimental.

He had taken a team to check into the boy's living space, to say that it was sparse was like saying that Senju Tsunade's strength was average. A horrible underestimation. The only personal items the boy had were a few things from his previous colleagues, missions, family, and his friend(s). Such as kunai, spools of ninja wire, a set of tea cups with one missing, a fire jutsu scroll, a pair of white cat ears, more kunai, a stick that was once for dango, a picture of his brother Sasuke, and _piles_ of reading scrolls.

For a kid Itachi's age, Ibiki wasn't surprised to find scrolls he wasn't familiar with. After all, kids read strange texts like those._..manga._ However, he didn't think that the boy would take his small amount of free time to read when he could be out doing what normal children do, then again, it was Uchiha Itachi. Being nearly nobody in intelligence had recognized the books, besides a few Yamanaka being that their kinsmen actually wrote some of them, Ibiki took it upon himself to read them. You know, for _clues_.

Really, Ibiki just wanted a reason to load the mountains of paperwork onto other people, there was no way he was going to be taking on that much paperwork without being called "Hokage-sama" by ever ninja that sees him. So under his arm was a box that held a good amount of unfamiliar titles. What was surprising to find, was that nearly none of the reading material found in his room were written by the Uchiha clan. Like most clans, the clan libraries would provide the most from their own clan and few if any texts from other clans. They were no easy subjects either, they were not what was conventionally called leisure reading.

For example, the box he held now was full of things such as: "_Theories and Relative Sciences of Chakra Natures_" by Senju Tobirama, "_The Cultural and Mental Influence of the Usage of Chakra_" by Sarutobi Sasuke, "_The Founding of the Clans: Noble, Shinobi, and Merchants_" by Akimichi Natsuki, "_Decision Theory_" by Nara Shikara, "_Game Theory: Applicable Strategies_" by Nara Akira, "_Known Summoning Clans, the Birth of Summoning Contracts, and Ninja Companions_" by Aburame Sawako, "_History of Konohagakure_" by Hyuuga Fumi, "_Geographical History of the Elemental Nations_" by Umino Kiku, "_Paleontology: The Relationship of Insects and Plants of the Mesozoic Era_" by Kamizuru Yasahiro, "_The Warring Clan Period_" collaborated by Touki Atsui and Nakajima Sayuri, "_Influential Samurai_" by Sakurabana, "_Ancient Monasteries Around the World_" by Sou, "_Ancient Weaponry Techniques_" by Fuuma Shinta, "_The Psychology of Humanity_" by Yamanaka Tsufu, "_Psychology of Young Children and Mental Growth_" by Yamanaka Daseki, "_The Theories of the Origin of Fuinjutsu_" and its companion book "_Historical Figures of the Sealing Arts_" by Uzumaki Shimaru. All so horribly dry they would put most Nara to sleep, except, putting a Nara to sleep wasn't the hardest thing to accomplish. Then again, the books might just stimulate them enough to actually stay awake.

These seemed to be the most common things found as far as personal belongings went, and really Ibiki did not know what he was in for when he decided to read the books instead of doing paperwork. What he would find interesting after he read through four books of brain-numbing topics just to understand the book written by Tobirama, Ibiki would find an almost new looking scroll that in reality was much older called, "_The Legend of Rikkudo Sennin and The Beginning of Chakra_" by a long forgotten author.

* * *

Hajime sighed and reclined in his chair, he was in the newly designated break room that basically consisted of a large room covered in chakra restoring seals, books of the fictitious nature, plush bean bag chairs, and recliners with around a thousand throw pillows scattered around. Clones were napping or reading in these bean bags or sprawled on the pillowed floor doing what clones do when at rest. Hajime himself was in one of the recliners, fully intent on gathering the energy the room provided and dead set on figuring out the four-dimensional Nara puzzle in his hands.

Gaara was reading in a bean bag next to him, pale green eyes wide as they flickered back and forth along the pages before flipping to the next page.

Looking over to his young friend and slightly curious as to what the young red head was getting into, he asked, "what are you reading."

"A foreign translation, Charlotte's Web," Gaara, looking at Hajime, said, "I like the spider. She's nice and saves her friend."

All the conscious clones in the room winced, a couple muttered to each other quietly.

"Should we tell him?"

"Oh, _hospital food_, his favorite character is the spider."

"Well, I'm not saying anything."

"Which is worse, knowing in advance or finding out?"

"Not a word."

Gaara looked around questioningly, hoping someone would explain what they were talking about. Thankfully for Hajime, Shisui walked in at that moment.

"Hajime-san, you wanted to talk to me?" Shisui asked.

"Aa," the first timeline Naruto said with no subtle amounts of relief, getting up from his chair, "let's go to the armory, you'll be needing somethings there."

Both walked out of the room and down the long halls of the castle made of sandstone. This left Gaara to look at the others expectantly, all the clones who either faked sleep or excused themselves for "important" reasons. There was not a chance that they were going to explain what happens to Charlotte the spider. Nope, not a chance.

Gaara shrugged and went back to his book; Naruto wasn't exactly normal, Gaara knew, so he wouldn't question the clones' weird behavior. Besides, he wanted to know what was going to happen.

Hajime and Shisui were walking across on of the long rooms, discussing the mission Shisui was being sent on. It had been a month ago since the Uchiha had escaped Konoha and entered Suna. Hajime was willing to have a somewhat normal shinobi that wasn't mentally Naruto around. However, he could tell that Shisui was getting restless and there were things needing to be done outside of the confines of two of the biggest shinobi villages.

"You're being sent on a mission," Hajime said, strides long and arms crossed. Blue eyes looked over his shoulder tot he young Uchiha, "have you practiced the scroll I gave you?"

Shisui nodded, "I did, I haven't perfected it yet. I have to say, I didn't think a technique like that existed..."

"It didn't until Naruto brought it back," Hajime said with a smile, "one of our favorite techniques."

"I can imagine," Shisui grinned, "but why don't I see any one you using it?"

Hajime shrugged, "Since we're technically a kid, our chakra coils are expanding quickly and that tends to throw our control way off kilter. So, we won't be doing it for a little while now."

Shisui nodded, but tilted his head, "wouldn't clones be able to do it, though? I mean, you have a fixed amount, right?"

Hajime paused mid-step, "...Shisui..."

"What?"

"You are a genius."

"Well, thank you, I'd like to think I am a little above average intelligence."

* * *

Naruto rubbed his temple, he had sent orders for Shisui through Hajime not an hour ago and already he was getting feedback from other clones reporting what _might _effect Shisui's safety. The others seemed to like the Uchiha very much, which wasn't a surprise since he liked Shisui as well. He just wished they would stagger their findings like normal, civilized clones.

He knew things in the world were about to get very complicated, especially within the Land of Water. Which was where Shisui was headed, even though it was arguably the second most dangerous place for him to be. First, being, of course, Konoha itself.

Naruto would be contacting the other jinchuriki himself, they would be likelier to listen to a fellow jinchuriki than a runaway Konoha ninja.

Shisui, he figured, would be perfect for reconnaissance in Mizu and other nations. Building a viable spy network, gaining allies, and if met with an enemy; Shisui could easily disappear. The sharingan would be a perfect aid. It was likely that almost all recruiting would end up going to the boy, being he was now free fro the eyes of the village and his clan, or more importantly, from Shimura Danzo's eyes.

Naruto sighed as he got information from Hajime, lower eyelid twitching.

Channeling chakra into the intercom seal, he said, "_**All available clones, report to my desk. All available clones, report to my desk.**_"

Naruto shook his head, "I've spent years doing this sort of thing, yet I can't figure out this simple solution? Naruto, you're getting much too old for this."

* * *

Taku was making progress in the old man's hovel, Root, talking to the children not yet emotionless. The plan was vague at best, getting the youngest out and safe was at the forefront of his mind.

Returning the ones that were kidnapped would be difficult, being that finding the parents without records was near impossible. The ones from orphanages could be found new homes, differentiating them from those kidnapped would be, likewise, difficult. These kids, the ones they'd be able to return to society without much issue, ranged from infants to toddlers. From ages around four to seven, it was likely that a bit of Therapy no Jutsu and some lessons in normalcy would be needed.

Taku had to be careful around the fully integrated children, usually around eight to twelve with the exception of some prodigy children. Teens would have an easier time rebelling and if given a thought, would naturally start questioning how things were. He wouldn't be able to approach them directly without being reported. But by Taku's nature, he couldn't be found since he didn't actually exist. Without a solid existence, Taku would become the equivalent of a Root ghost story. A rebelling anti-conforming figure that didn't exist and threatened the way things were. Something to be wary of, something to attack on sight. Which would be counter productive in some aspects.

Adults would be loyal to the bone, trapped in their ways of thinking. If they could reach them, then it would be nothing short of amazing. They were the hardest group to reach, but they would be the most worth while, they knew things about Root and about Danzo's movements. They knew things that those with low seniority wouldn't have. They were also stronger.

All in all, Taku made good headway with the younger children. Three dorms to be exact. The youngest children would be taken out of root soon. If there was one thing Taku was going to make sure of, it was that those children were going to be able to have a childhood.

With this in mind, the henge mouse scuttled across the room to a crack in the wall.

* * *

Anko spun a kunai around her finger; morosely thinking about how while she was stuck in the village playing with paper, Uchiha-ghost was out doing who knows what. She had half a mind to fake her own death and join him in exploring the world, taking missions that could save the world from premature destruction, associating with missing ninja, and having international comrades.

Anko huffed, but of course, she wouldn't fake her own death. She was needed here, in the Chamber of Torturous Rookie Work, doing nothing of great importance. Finding and exterminating moles was great and all, but compared to saving the world?

Anko sighed, maybe she could ask for a mission from the old brat. Surely the kid would have _something _for her to do.

Anko nodded decidedly to herself, that's exactly what she would do.

* * *

Itachi looked up from his book, focusing on the man who had appeared uninvited, but not unexpected, in the middle of his room. Delicately marking his page, he set the book aside and stood.

"Itachi," the masked man, Madara, greeted.

The man who claimed to be his forefather was a strange man. Itachi did was not fully convinced that the man was who he said he was. As much as the man claimed it and flaunted his knowledge, what he said about the past was selective and had an air of being something learned but not yet fully integrated. He felt that there was more behind what the man would say at any given time, he was familiar with this from what Danzo often sounded like. This 'Madara' also refused to take off his mask, which could indicate a few things. One being that he was an imposter and the man behind the strange mask was nothing but a man hiding behind a name. Another possibility being that his face was badly wounded, Itachi had read that some wounds were extremely sensitive to UV rays, chemicals, and foreign chakra. Then there was the possibility that it was the soul of Madara in a relative's body, which would be creepy and disturbing but sadly not impossible.

"Madara-sama," he replied equally.

Itachi could not question the man, not openly at the very least. This masked relative had proved to have some violent mood swings and a formidable conviction that allowed for no argument. It was very possible, Itachi had thought, that the man actually believed he was Madara as some form of dissociative identity. It would explain quite a bit, but then that would leave the question of how the man got so much information about Uchiha Madara that he could build a persona out of him. Information that should be impossible to get. For now, Itachi would wait and see how things panned out. He could watch for any slip ups and go from there, though he wasn't sure what he would do once he got that bit of information. Would he run from the man? 'Could he' would be a more reasonable question. Except, what would he do after he left? He couldn't return to Konoha, the hokage probably thought he was nukenin just like everyone else. What if he stayed? Could he afford to stay under this man's boring eye? He didn't know what would happen to him, to the people he cared for, to his home, to Sasuke...if he stayed.

"I have things to attend to, I trust that you are skilled enough to remain invisible," the masked Uchiha said.

Either way, the man who called himself Madara was powerful. As intelligent and as skilled as Itachi was, he knew he couldn't take the man in a fight. Not yet. The man was guarded around Itachi, this Madara didn't tell him any of the plans or what he was doing. Itachi would have to wait for the man to trust him, to some degree, just as the man was trying to get Itachi to trust him. It was a dance of trust and distrust, you have to give some to gain some. Itachi was not the most patient person, a curse that came with being a genius. When one is so used to understanding and solving problems quickly, long term things were certainly an exercise in patience. For now, he would be patient but he most certainly would not become lax, not around a dangerous person like Madara.

"Hai," Itachi said, watching the man swirl out of existence.

No, he could not afford to be anything but careful around such a man. He only wished that he had some form of back up. With Shisui dead and Konoha's support unaccessible, he was on his own.

* * *

Shisui narrowed his eyes, he had a feeling that a certain cousin was having a stupid moment. Like he was having thoughts of doing things on his own, again. If Shisui wasn't dead, he would have tracked down said stupid thinking cousin and smacked some good old fashion sense into that supposedly genius mind.

Shaking his head, Shisui continued running across the sands. Shisui would get to the port city in the southeast a day or two, now that he didn't have to disappear, he could pace himself. As much as he loved using shunshin across deserts, not having to worry about crashing into trees and the like, he didn't want to end up half dead like he did a month ago. Shunshin wasn't built for long term usage, he didn't have the chakra to do that sort of thing.

For his mission, Shisui would take a longer route to avoid the Land of Fire. He would board a boat in south-east Wind, cross the gulf to the Land of Tea which would take three to five days, depending on the weather and ship, cross through Tea and board another boat which would take a day or two if he found a ship leaving right away, port hop to the Land of Noodles which could take from three to seven days, run through Noodles and board yet another boat to get into the Land of Water, and island hop his way to Kirigakure. All taking about fourteen days if things go right.

Shisui sighed, he didn't like boats. He didn't like being on the open water. He liked where his feet could touch the solid earth and move where he pleased. He also tended to get violently seasick. All that to say, he still had to complete the mission and return. He had chosen this route because he wouldn't have to cross many nations that had an abundance of ninja, but maybe he would chance the land route when he returned...that is, if he could even get on the boat to get to Water.

* * *

Noriyuki and Mitsuo were sitting on the Hokage monument, overlooking the place they called home as the sun's fading light made the roofs appear yellow. They were, of course, henged as their civilian counterparts. Noriyuki was finishing off his onigiri while memorizing the buildings and people going in and out of them. His legs dangled and playfully kicked them once in a while. Mitsuo was starring vacantly towards the village, eyes landing on nothing and no one, curled in a hunched half cross-legged position, chin resting on his other knee.

Rolling a stray piece of rice between his forefinger, Noriyuki eventually spoke up, "is something wrong, Mitsuo-nii?"

Mitsuo snorted, "nothing is."

"Hm," Noriyuki hummed noncommittally, waiting for his older looking clone to talk about whatever was making him go Uchiha. It would happen if he waited long enough.

"It's...it's not that something is wrong," Mitsuo said, running his fingers over the grass and dirt.

Noriyuki remained silent, looking at the deepening frown on his other self's face.

"Well, nothing that wasn't already wrong," Mitsuo amended, referring to all the things that would have to be fixed.

Mitsuo sighed and leaned back on his hands, legs stretching out and over the cliff. A stiff breeze ruffled their matching brown hair.

Noriyuki looked up at the clouded sun before looking back down to the village.

Mitsuo pursed his lips, "Nori..."

The six-year old's eyes flickered to the conflicted twelve-year-old.

"Nori, are we...are we necessary?" Mitsuo asked, staring vacantly at his hanging feet, "we, you, me, and the others...we're clones...memories...of a single person. If there are more than one of us, are we- am _I _needed? I'm just as much Naruto as you are, we're the same person, Nori... I'm Naruto, my name is Naruto, not Mitsuo...your name is Naruto too. If we're all Naruto, then why do we exist? Are we different entities? No. We're the same. Same mind, same body, same soul... Is there a need for some washed out replica? Some, inferior spare? If he dies, do we? If we die, does he? What purpose does a _clone_ have if there are already more of you? Are you needed when there is more than one of you to do what you needed to do?"

Noriyuki smiled gently at Mitsuo and said, "Someone once told me, that there is always a purpose for you. That no matter what your DNA looks like, no matter where you come from, no matter how you were created; you can only be you. So maybe you have the same body as someone else, only you will experience what you do. Only you can be where you are at any given time. Even if you were joined to your identical twin and had to go the same place as the other, neither would experience exactly what the other would. Their minds would react similarly, yes, but they wouldn't be able to see exactly what the other saw. They would be individuals, as individual as any other person down in that village."

Mitsuo tapped his heal against the rock face before saying, "Naruto was told that after me, who told us that?"

Noriyuki smiled, "Yamato-senpai told Taku when Root was overthrown. Sixteen days before we died."

Mitsuo looked over the quieting village, children being called in and shops closing, "Do you think we'll die again, or do you suppose we'll just...fade when Naruto does?"

Noriyuki looked over the village, hand clenching slightly before relaxing, "we'll find out."

Mitsuo huffed, "I'd rather not."

* * *

Omake

Shisui's Tour of the Sandcastle

Hajime gestured to the walls, "as you can see by the careful carvings made by Otsutsuki Shukaku, Ichibi no Tanuki, there are many depictions of how the world was before chakra was very prominent. There were greater weapons than what we have today, that had likely fallen to the wayside when humans discovered the destruction chakra can cause."

Shisui looked at the carvings of a massive machine, "what was that?"

"Shukaku isn't completely sure, he had found the ruins of one while digging out a rock he wanted. However, we've speculated that it was meant as a means to rip out the foundations of large walls. It would plant itself on the ground and shove hooked prongs under or possibly through the wall's foundation. Crumbling it to pieces by simulating an earthquake."

"Whoa...and they did this without the use of chakra?" Shisui asked in awe.

"Humans are very good at creating destruction, chakra or not..." Hajime trailed off before nodding, "so, yeah...pretty much."

"But wait, you said that Shukaku was digging out a rock? Why?"

Hajime motioned for him to follow, "Shukaku likes geology, he's been creating a rather extensive collection of rocks and minerals over the years. Honestly, the horde he has is nothing short of a dragon's horde as far as wealth goes."

Shisui's eyebrow raised.

"Imagine, a pure, flawless ruby the size of the hokage tower cut and smoothed to perfection. The sheer amount of wealth in that single rock is worth more than four daimyo's fortunes. Now imagine a room dedicated to these sort of things," seeing Shisui's disbelieving face, Hajime leaned in and said, "and I have to admit, Shukaku is nothing if not amazing at rock arranging."

Shoving a biju sized door open, Hajime raised an arm towards the glass roofed courtyard, "Shisui, welcome to the_ quartzyard._"

Shisui's jaw dropped at the sparkling room.

Hajime laughed, "You look a little _petrified_, Shisui."

"All I can say is," Shisui shook his head, lips twitching, "that this place _rocks_."

Hajime grinned, "My _sediments_ exactly."


	31. Chapter 30

**Esparia: Writing this was worse than pulling teeth. It's not like I had a ton of time as it was. Between a massive writer's block, chronic migraines, a depression relapse, my new job, working for a neighbor and trying to clear _a forest's _worth of trees...I hardly had time to sleep. So delays were just awesome. Yes, this is also shorter than what I wanted.**

**Shisui: You skimped on my chapter! I wanted 5k, not some measly half hearted 3k.**

**Esparia: Yeah, well you're going to have to live with it. I'm late enough as is.**

**Disclaimer: ...Esparia doesn't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. That means that the character Shisui most certainly does not belong to Esparia.**

* * *

Chapter Thirty

Infiltrating Bloody Mist

"Ya going to be a'right son?" a fisherman asked in concern, eyes watching the poor retching figure vomit his breakfast.

Shisui turned, pale faced and clammy, chuckling feebly, "I'll...be okay...once we get to shore..."

"Son," the fisherman paused and grimaced as Shisui puked over the side of the boat, "that'll be in four days."

Shisui could only quickly turn to the side of the boat and add more of his stomach contents to the waves.

* * *

Shisui was thankful to finally be off the boats, he had been traveling harbor to harbor for nearly two weeks in the Kanashii Ocean and only now was he finally on the shores of Water Country.

When he got off the boat, the first thing he did was find a nice swath of trees and bushes, tripped over the bushes and promptly fell beneath the tree adjacent. He then made a promise to himself that he would never, not matter what happened, ninja zombie army or not, he would _never _get on another boat again. He then proceeded to sit up vomit in the bushes he tripped over and crawl to the other side of the tree until his nausea died down.

When Shisui composed himself enough to walk among the civilians, he found an inn that he could stay in to regroup. It was a modest place, well kept and not terribly large, but large enough that he could blend into the surrounding patrons. He payed for a single room, courtesy of Naruto, where he would continue his battle plan. How the boy (man?) got the money to pay him living expenses at all was beyond him.

He had planned on figuring out how to approach his mission on the boats, being there weren't many things to do on a boat. Unfortunately for him, he ended up violently sea sick; hence rendering him unable to think much other than suppressing the consistent nausea.

Now that he was on land again and unlikely to throw up over his map, he was ready to plan.

He threw his things on the bed and dropped his handy dandy "Unexpected Happenings and Outlandish Operations Planing Sack" to the floor. The best birthday gift he had ever received from cousin Obito. He hadn't had to actually use it all that often, there were few occurrences that called for the sack of genius. Though, when he had used it, it had worked wonders. He had planned on making one for Itachi when he turned thirteen, maybe he still would if he ever figured out how Obito got the thing to work.

In this case, he would need it due to the strange circumstances surrounding his mission. Approaching a brainwashed jinchuriki that was the leader of the reputed ruthless bloody mist and preventing an occurring massacre from claiming more lives was fairly extreme as far as mission parameters went. He didn't doubt that he'd be using the sack much more frequently now that he was receiving missions from a time traveler. It was things like this that made Shisui pause and really reflect on his existence and what he was doing with his life.

He shrugged and withdrew the starter scroll, then began reading, "So, you've found yourself in an "uh, oops" situation..."

A few hours later had Shisui rolling his scroll up and rifling through the rest of the sack, he now knew exactly what to do. The only problem was that it was going to need tons of prep time.

Shisui sighed to himself, "but how to do it, how to do it?"

He tapped his chin in thought, humming and frowning. With a look of enlightenment he unrolled a second scroll and summoned the contents needed: duct tape, an outdated map of Water Country, and a box of pocky.

"Hehehe, brilliant!" Shisui exclaimed, fists clenched and eyes sparkling in excitement, "with this, I am sure to take over all of Water County! Haha! Mwahaha! BWAHAHAHAHA- eh, I mean, I'll capture the jinchuriki...nobody saw that..."

* * *

Shisui stood before the little village he found with a look of pride that could only be described as "Extremely Smug Uchiha Expression: 4.5". While Shisui wasn't a conventional Uchiha, but he still was genetically Uchiha and so the Uchiha pride face sat all too comfortably on his features.

He had examined the old map and his new one and had found a few abandoned villages. With the help of his sharingan, it was a matter of minutes before he sorted the best places available. It took a few days of searching, but he had finally found the perfect little settlement and had already set up shop. As in, he revived a previously dead village from its rotting corpse to something like a secluded town from a fairytale.

The houses were modest and well spaced, the roads were fixed and weeds were removed from the paths. Shisui had to consult a book from the sack, "Fountain Structures and Plumbing", for cleaning out the fountain in the heart of the town. Turned out that it was attached to a natural spring and the fountain's main purpose was to filter the water as a sort of well. He also learned how some historical fountains were used as public laundromats or baths, and some were even said to be enchanted to bring certain health benefits. Of course he mostly ignored those things and focused on how a fountain actually pumped water. All very fascinating when one wasn't trying to figure out what to do, especially when your occupation mainly consists of killing people and stealing things.

Long story short, Shisui had a rough month and a half of revamping the place. However when all was said and done, Shisui was a very proud man for single handedly fixing an abandoned village, he'd be putting that down on his resume.

Shisui smiled at the village around him and then paused. He'd get occupants of his town without much hassle, he was sure with his charming face and charismatic attitude it wouldn't take long for the streets to be bustling. He just had to do the hard part first, naming it.

It had to be a good name, something that inspired peace and safety. So names he's been using up until now like "Shisui's Ghost Town" and "Deadman's Haunt" were out of the question. Along that same line, he supposed that a fondly dubbed "Ratville" was also out of the question.

Shisui shrugged, he'd figure it out when he figured it out.

* * *

Shisui starred down at the family he was stalking- following... It was an average little family. A father, a mother, two kids, and their pet iguana. By all accounts they were the average civilian fishing family, except they had a bloodline.

A family with a bloodline in the area they were living was nothing short of dangerous. Poor things were constantly looking over their shoulders. They hid its existence pretty well too, Shisui almost couldn't confirm it until the father went fishing.

It turned out that they had some ability to become undetectable to fish. Somehow able to not send signals in the water or to appear like a calm group of fish. Shisui didn't completely understand what was happening, all he knew that was when they were in the water the fish would come in droves. His sharingan merely told him that the man's body that submerged in the water were fish or not there at all. He got a massive headache after just looking.

With their predicament confirmed, he would approach them. Maybe approach the man first, he didn't want to scare or seemingly threaten the family.

Stretching his back he leapt down.

Jogging towards the man he called, "Sir! Excuse me, sir?"

The man turned around, suspicion hidden behind a strained smile, "Yes, can I help you?"

Shisui beamed, "I think I can help you."

The man's eye twitched, "I'm not buying anything."

Shisui shrugged, "I'm not selling anything. See, there is a select group of people that are building a friendly neighborhood. You know? Wanting some distance from the violence."

The man's eyes narrowed, "what makes you think I'd be interested.

"Parents don't want their kids growing up in..." Shisui gestured around, "such a dangerous environment. Security in numbers and seclusion."

"Why approach me?" the man asked, "there are plenty of other families in this village."

Shisui hummed, "Truth be told, I did approach two others. Other than them and your family, nobody else has the right mindset you could say."

The man was silent, thinking over what Shisui had said and trying to determine if it was a trap.

Shisui shrugged and pulled out his old map, "you can talk it over with your wife, ya know? But this is where we'll be heading. Houses already built and all, just bring your stuff and if that's not an option due to unforeseen _circumstances _then it'll be provided. I don't imagine many will come right off the bat, but it's always nice to know you have somewhere to go if things push you out."

The man's eye lighted on where Shisui indicated on his map, trying to decide if the young man before him was deceiving him.

Shisui rolled up the map again and looked at the sun, "well, I gotta be going. Places to be, people to look for, a broken mill to fix. You know how it goes."

With that Shisui dissipated into the forest.

* * *

The arrival of the first family was a surprise to Shisui, it couldn't have been a week after he scouted them. Shisui was still in the process of talking to and finding other families or people that were likely to join. Granted, they were the family that could erase their opponents' memories, so he supposed it wasn't as risky to walk into a suspicious village.

Even so, Shisui couldn't help but wish that they came at a better time.

The family was made up of a father, twin girls, and an infant boy. Shisui wasn't sure what had happened to the mother, but it wasn't his place to pry. Their eyes scanned the area, sizing up their new home.

Shisui cleared his throat, gaining their attention. Smiling, he nodded to them, "Welcome to the Whatever Village, if any of you have a good name for this place, please tell me and I'll change the sign out front."

After an uncomfortably long silence, one of the girls asked, "Why'd you make a sign if you're just gonna rename this place?"

Shisui shrugged, "why not?"

The girl thought for a moment, "isn't it a waste of paint?"

Shisui looked around the village, "only if you have a better name picked out."

The other girl cut off her sister and asked what everyone didn't want to mention, "why are you sitting in that fountain in your swim trunks and socks?"

"I didn't want to get my shoes wet," Shisui replied, wiggling his toes, "I only have the one pair."

"But there isn't any water in there," commented the other girl.

"...there will be if I stand here long enough."

"You're weird."

"Now that's not very nice."

* * *

Shisui was mighty pleased with how things were turning out, his village (that remained named the Whatever Village due to a large lack of creativity and pure laziness) was full to the brim with new families and bustling with business. There were houses being built to stem the overflow.

Shisui hadn't counted on the people he talked to to bring other families with bloodlines. Not that it displeased him, the more people the better.

Though Shisui couldn't help but wonder if the sudden influx of people would affect his plans. He doubted it would, but you never could tell with these things.

Perhaps to be on the safe side he would try to contact Naruto for a few security seals...you know, just in case.

With phase one of his epic plan a success, Shisui was more or less ready to initiate phase two. Which involved some infiltration, a well placed jutsu here or there, and his trusty roll of duct tape. Shisui didn't know exactly why Obito sealed so many rolls of strangely colored duct tape, and he honestly didn't know how many rolls there actually were. All Shisui knew was that there was a lot.

With a steading breath, Shisui focused on his yang chakra and all but disappeared from existence.

Shisui's dark eyes took in Kirigakure; it was a nice village, if one ignored the suppressive feeling that seemed to cling to the streets. The best description of the village would have been foggy, though, architecturally speaking, the place had very cylindrical buildings with a surprising amount of trees growing around and on them.

Kiri seemed to prefer stone buildings, though that shouldn't have been all that shocking considering the amount of moisture that was in the air. One would think that the amount of stone and fog would have made the place dreary. On the contrary, the tan or cream toned buildings and walls worked well with the green and steel blue hues of their surroundings.

Shisui glanced about him before glancing one more to the map of Kirigakure that Naruto had given him. He decided that his best bet for leaving would be the mountainous outcroppings near the Mizukage's building. The only issue would be that he would have to cross residential areas.

He tapped his chin before shrugging, he'd get there when he got there. At the very least, the infiltrating part wouldn't be hard thanks to the time traveling self proclaimed Mukage. Ah yes, freakishly detailed map of important foreign government buildings. If only every mission he went on had information like this.

* * *

Shisui clung to the ceiling like a bat, not that anyone would have known this fact other than the awesome omnipresent readers and the exhausted writer.

Shisui was waiting for the door to the Mizukage's office to open, he planned to follow a team or a secretary in. That plan went out the door when he noticed some not very sneaky would be assassins skulking around the building. Thus, Uchiha Shisui found himself forced to change plans and snake through the vents. This wouldn't have been too terrible if the stupid mist ninja actually cleaned their humid and dust ridden vents on a regular basis. If it was something Shisui found himself enjoying less than receiving the "Don't Be Irresponsible and Leave Offspring Outside The Clan" talk, it was sliding though slimy dust and goodness knows what.

Shisui wasn't much of a neat freak, most weren't in his line of work out of necessity at the very least. However he was not a fan of strange slimy substances getting into his sandals. He hated these sandals. This always seemed to manage to get in them; dirt, rocks, plants, and bugs to name a few. He wondered if he could ask Naruto to send him a pair of close toed foot wear the next time he sent in an update.

Feeling something hard suck onto his right big toe only solidified his decision.

Putting these thoughts aside, Shisui peeked out of the air duct and into the Mizukage's office. His jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw a strange plant man talking to a shadowed figure over the prone figure of Yagura.

When Hajime, or as Shisui learned was Naruto's first "life", told him about Zetsu. Shisui had a hard time imagining it. Hajime tried to henge into what Zetsu looked like, but apparently couldn't figure out how the plant pieces attached to the human pieces; so Naruto simply showed him what the man's face looked like. Shisui was expecting weird things, but two large venus fly trap like extensions was pushing it.

The shadowed figure was standing behind Yagura, who was lying across the desk directly below Shisui's hiding place. He couldn't make out much of the figure other than that it was male and he had dark wild hair. If Shisui would hazard a guess, he'd guess that this man was "Lollipop Face"

Shisui listened intently as they conversed.

"Zetsu, what brings you here," the man monotoned, as if he already knew why the strange plant man was emerging from his borrowed office's floor.

"There has been some irregularities in Konohagakure recently," Zetsu said, tone mild until another tone overtook it, "**they are a cause for concern, we have never seen the likes of this before. Yet you stand here playing with a puppet and do nothing to intervene.**"

"Hm," 'Lollipop Face' hummed noncommittally, "I can't leave Yagura alone for too long, you know this. It's part of the plan in any case, playing with this puppet until his usefulness runs dry."

"Be that as it may, **you need to act. These irregularities are no mere thing **you can brush off **on whim.** If anything, their location is worrying. Especially with Yin chakra influxes specifically. **We've noted similar influxes in Suna.**"

The shadowed man who was stretching his lower back and paused, tilted his head up a bit and huffed, "very well, I'll check into it. Though do check in on Itachi-chan for me, the boy will be getting restless."

Zetsu looked surprised but quickly agreed, "very well. I'll notify you on his condition."

With that, Zetsu sunk into the ground; 'Lollipop Face' watched him leave and shook his head.

"Maa," he sighed, "these things are so..._troublesome._"

The shadowy figure picked up a piece of paper, wrote a hasty note on it, opened the office door and stuck it to the front. Nodding, he walked over to the mizukage and repositioned him, grumbling to Yagura's deaf ears, "be happy you were born who you were, you don't have to put up with this crap."

Looking over his handiwork, he nodded to himself, and a swirling motion in the air appeared around the man. More to himself then the comatose leader, "but, ah, what can you do?"

Thus the man disappeared, leaving a confused infiltrator in the vents and a catatonic jinchuriki.

It took a moment for Shisui to regain his barrings but he quickly dropped down, unrolled his duct tape, and kidnapped the short mizukage like he was stealing a 15kg bag of rice.

As Shisui escaped Kirigakure, he couldn't help but wonder about how things had come to this, kidnapping helpless mizukages. He supposed, once couldn't expect much from being a subordinate of a time traveling jinchuriki.

* * *

**Esparia: Due to the choppy flow of the chapters and need to get rid of unnecessary subplots, I'm going to put this on temporary hiatus. Once I finish going over all thirty chapters, I'll replace these ones and post a new chapter with new content. Thank you for your patience.**

**Fanfiction: *puts on sunglasses* I'll be back.**

**Seventh Slip Backward continues on: July 1st, 2017**

**(date liable to change according to progress and/or unplanned set backs)**


End file.
